Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Caught With My Zipper Down! (Part 2)

Note:  Be sure to read part 1 of this post first, below or see here, before reading this.  This post picks up right where part 1 ended.

I knew the first mention of Denise was buried in a seemingly unrelated post, and it would be hard for me to locate it.  That’s why I didn’t bother trying to find it on my celphone.  So I booted up the laptop and located the post. And it was indeed from May, 2012.  Audrey’s memory was dead on.

Now, I could just give the link to that post, but I know that most people, no matter how much I beg, won’t click the link.  And it is absolutely essential to this story that you read the relevant part of that old post for this current one to have any impact.  So I’m going quote myself from a portion of that old post below.  Of course, you could skip over the text below too, but to give you incentive, the text I’m quoting makes me look really, really bad.  So:
Now that I'm home and can get back to some serious blogging, I want to tell the full version of what happened on the night of "Blogger's Poker" last week.  But despite my best intentions, I will have to do this in two parts because what I've already written is long enough and I believe what I have left to cover from this day is probably of equal size to this post.  I should warn you that in the two lengthy posts, I will cover a variety of incidents that took place on one day--all somehow (or somewhat) related to poker.  Also I will be discussing two women with large bosoms.  I just want to mention that up front (so-to-speak) since no one would come to my blog expecting a discussion of breasts.  So those of you who would never be caught dead reading a blog post discussing this robust topic have been cautioned.
Before having dinner on this Sunday, and thus before the poker game that will take up the bulk of the post, I played in another poker room in Vegas.  I have played in this room before but in keeping with my own mysterious ways, I will not identify the room now, nor will I even give it a phony name.  The reason for this will be explained shortly.
At this room I saw a very attractive female dealer that I don’t remember seeing before, which I found surprising because I am no stranger to this room and I find it hard to believe a woman this attention-getting would escape my notice.  But she didn’t seem like she was new to the room.  How was it I could not have noticed this lady before?  I don’t know.  Perhaps she never worked on the days I come into this room, though it was not unusual for me to be there on this particular day of the week.
You see in addition to her just being generally attractive, what I couldn’t help noticing about her was her chest.  It was impressive, to say the least.  She had the largest breasts of any poker dealer I can remember seeing, with the possible exception of the woman I described here as “a very heavy set female poker dealer” in the third paragraph of the post (and not my buddies at BSC).  But that woman was, as I said, heavy….she was large in every sense.  The poker dealer I am now talking about had a very nice figure, she could have been a model.  Actually, she could have been a Playboy model, at least on the basis of how she looked with her clothes on.
And her clothes are really the reason I’m even mentioning her.  For some reason, in this room on this day, the dealers were allowed, perhaps even encouraged, to not wear their regular, boring, dealing uniforms.  They were allowed to wear “Western” wear.  So they had jeans and cowboy type shirts, perhaps cowboy boots but I didn’t notice.  But instead of wearing a “western” shirt, said dealer had just a white, long-sleeved shirt that was open to the waist.
Ok, it wasn’t quite as shocking as that makes it sound.  She was wearing something underneath the white shirt (in addition to a bra, I’m mean).  It was a pink top, that appeared to be strapless,but that was both extremely tight and extremely low cut.  And I do mean extreme in both cases. I don’t recall ever seeing a cleavage-revealing poker dealer before, I mean while dealing.  And this was a rather abundant amount of cleavage being revealed, to be sure.  It was quite attention getting, to say the least.  And for those who have an interest in this type of thing, I would say there was enough cleavage exposed to make me fairly certain that her assets were factory-installed, not after market.  Since this was Vegas, I would give 4-1 odds that she her chest was entirely organic.
This was definitely a dealer I would love to be facing pitching me cards, you can be sure of that.  But my luck was bad both in poker and in dealers.  The lady never made it to my table to deal.  Oh well, I was able to enjoy the view from afar.  And it would have been a bit of a test of my powers of concentration (more on that topic to come) to be able to concentrate the poker when facing those ta-ta’s in all (well, most) of their glory.
Oh, and a quick story about her...before sitting down at a table, she somehow noticed that the zipper on her jeans was undone.  She somehow blamed the dealer at the next table (another attractive female, tho not as provocatively dressed) for not noticing this.  “Thanks for telling me my zipper was open!”  The dealer she was speaking to just shrugged, but a middle aged woman at the table, probably a regular who knows the busty dealer, said, “What’s the big deal?  What’s gonna fall out?” Busty dealer didn’t seem to appreciate that comment but said nothing.  Middle-aged woman added, “Unless there’s something about you we don’t know.”
Now the reason I don’t want to say anything at all about where this was is this.  As I have explained in several posts, most recently here (and implied in many others), the poker community is a very small world and the Vegas poker community even more so.  I keep running into characters I’ve blogged about and who I have no idea are reading my blog.  I don’t want to make it too obvious who this lovely lady dealer is.  I’ve probably already said too much.
I know I have said nothing to insult her, quite the contrary.  And I’m sure this lady knows she has large breasts.  And I also realize that she chose that outfit that morning knowing she would be showing anyone who got in front of her (or to the side of her, for that matter) that she is the opposite of flat-chested.  But all that said, she might be embarrassed; she might not appreciate finding out that some blogger was blogging about how big her tits are. 
So why am I doing exactly that, you ask?  If you are asking that, I have to assume it is a rhetorical question.  How could I not?

(If you do want to read the whole post, here it is)

I was alone in my room and yet I’m sure I turned 87 shades of red reading that.
And my first thought was, “F**k!  I am obsessed with bosoms!”

And I felt like the biggest lowlife, the sleaziest creep who ever lived. 
Where do I begin?  Well, let’s start with the fact that in that post, I didn’t even name the casino the story took place in.  And I didn’t give the dealer a phony name.
I did that to protect the dealer’s identity.
More importantly, I did that so that the story would never get back to her!
You see, it’s one thing to describe some anonymous woman the way I did there.  Some woman I saw one time at a poker table or at a casino who is never gonna read my blog, and thus, my description of her.  But I would never, ever have described a lady that way if I knew she was going to read said description.  I would never be so rude.
After getting over the shock of reading my own words, I suddenly realized that I thought I had made it pretty clear in the post that I didn’t want the lady in question to know about that particular blog post.  That’s why I didn’t name the poker room, even though it was, of course, Binion’s.  I mean, I even said, “she might be embarrassed; she might not appreciate finding out that some blogger was blogging about how big her tits are.”
Yet despite this, just hours earlier, I found out that one of my loyal blog readers had sent her the link to the post about her, even though I made it obvious I didn’t want her (Denise) to see it!  Yikes.
Ok, I wasn’t upset with Audrey.  Ultimately, I have only myself to blame.  Then too, Audrey knows “Denise.”  She wouldn’t have sent her the link if she thought Denise would be all that bothered by it, right?  Right?
Oh, and by the way, I referred to her breasts as “tits”!  Yeah, I did that.  Up until I came to the t-word, I was still trying to convince myself it wasn’t that bad.  But when I saw I had ended the whole discussion with “tits”, I sort of shook my head in disbelief.
I do not use that type of language with women, unless I am 100% they won’t be offended.  But never, ever, would I use that word to a woman to refer to her own specific, um, body parts.
Oh, and I had also called them “ta-ta’s”.  Nice.  Not to mention referring to her as having large breasts at least 67 times in just a couple of paragraphs!
And by the way, did you notice that I even speculated as to whether or not her physical attributes were god-given or man-made?  Did you notice that?  Yeah, I did.  How rude of me.  How sleazy.
But at least reading that post, it made sense how Audrey discovered my blog.  You see that post was really about a night of poker with Poker Grump, grrouchie, and Prudence.  Before that night was over, Grump had already posted about the evening.  He didn’t link to this post of mine, because I hadn’t written it yet.  But he did link to my blog when he mentioned playing with me, likely only the second time he’d linked to my blog.  If she enjoyed Grump’s post, she might very well have clicked the link to me and discovered my blog then.
A few hours later, I posted a short post (yes, I do do them sometimes), referencing the evening and posting a link back to Grump’s post).  So that might have been the 1st post Audrey saw if she found me from that.
The post directly underneath that (and remember, it was a short post) actually was a story  that took place in the Binion’s 2PM tournament, with Binion's prominently mentioned.  But at least, in that post, I didn’t mention any Binion’s dealers, male or female.
So that definitely might have caught Audrey’s eye.  I wonder if she starting thinking about all the folks she sees at work on the weekends, wondering who this guy (me) was?
Now, you might be wondering what that “zipper” post was doing in the blogger’s poker story.  Well, for one thing, it happened the same day.  But also, I knew I was going to finish that post (which became a two-parter), with a story about Prudence pointing out a particularly well-endowed poker player to me during the bloggers’ game.  That was definitely worth mentioning because it was Prudence herself who had started the whole meme that I’m “obsessed with bosoms” by shouting just that at me from half way across the BSC poker room the first time she saw me after discovering my blog (see here).  So of course it was worth mentioning that she herself elbowed me in the side and said, “Rob!  Big breasts alert!”
So it seemed like a good idea to me to book end that two-part post with an opening story about another woman who caught my attention for the same reason.  Start and end the post with large breasts.  And I wanted to tell the “zipper” story anyway; the “woman said” story that is a staple of my blog.  Besides, you never see a poker dealer showing cleavage, I thought that was noteworthy too (of course I did).

However, reading that post now, after learning that Denise had definitely read it…..well, I was embarrassed beyond belief.  It was quite ungentlemanly, to say the absolute least
But at least I was fairly sure that Denise didn’t know it was me that had written such crude sleaziness.  Denise is usually dealing at Binion’s when I play there, she sees me all the time.
Why did I think she didn’t know I was the sordid blogger?
Well, she had never slapped my face or kicked me in the nuts, for one thing.
But there was another reason I thought she didn’t know who I was.  As I referenced earlier, I’ve mentioned Denise another time on the blog, this time giving her that pseudonym “Denise.” 
Denise was indeed the beautiful dealer that told us the story of Poker Genius asking her out in this post here. Please note how much classier I was in describing her physical appearance in that post than in the earlier one.  See, I can be a gentleman when I try.
In that post, I described Denise’s great reluctance to tell her story on Poker Genius.  Because, as she pointed out, he was a customer.  But she eventually relented.
If she knew I had a blog, I thought, based on her reticence, she never would have told the story in my presence. Even if that post about her zipper was the only blog post of mine she’d ever read, she wouldn’t want to talk about PG in front of me, knowing that I would likely put it on the internet….as indeed I did. Right?

OK, that's all for part 2.  Part 3 is now posted and appears here.

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