Colder Than a Witch's Tit

New Year's Eve forecast for Las Vegas:  Snow.

Snow?  In Vegas?

Yes, snow. 

Snow!

Barring some unforeseen circumstance, I will be on the Vegas strip for New Years Eve.  If I can get there from my undisclosed location.

As I write this, there is a 60% chance of snow in Vegas on Wednesday, starting in the afternoon.

That should make things interesting.

Having lived almost all of life in Southern California, I am not used to being around snow. I am sure as hell not used to driving in it.  I think I drove in a few flurries once on a once-in-a-generation snow fall (very light flurries) coming home from work through the highest elevation of my commute one February many, many years ago.   But that was for less than five minutes, tops.

Another time, my buddy Norm and I were making our annual birthday trip to Vegas--it was mid-April--and we encountered some snow through the higher elevations.  This was actually on Easter Sunday and it was a freakish late winter storm (in Spring).  I immediately pulled over and let Norm drive the rest of the way, since, through his work, he had been forced to learn how to drive in snow.  I never needed to.

We got by ok, it wasn't snowing much as we made it into Vegas.  We later learned that just hours after we drove through the area known as Mountain Pass, they had to close the road because of the snow.  If we had left LA a few hours later that day, we wouldn't have made it to Vegas that day.

And it will be cold.  Of course, it has to be for it to snow.  Duh.  It's already cold here, very cold.  What's missing is the precipitation, and that is due in time for New Year's Eve.  But a storm is a' coming, and the snow level may get as low as 2,000 feet--which is the elevation of the Vegas Strip!

The past few days, Twitter has been all a' twitter about the coming possible New Year's Eve snow storm.

Discussing the possibility of all those tourists driving in the snow on the day of the year where more alcohol is consumed than any other day has been, um, interesting.  True, many tourists will be in town from cold weather states where they are used to snow. But most of the Vegas tourists come from Southern California (like me) where they are only used to driving in snow if they like to go to the mountains to ski. Many, like me, do not do that.

As I say, interesting.

It's already ridiculously cold here, much colder than I'm used to. I'm spoiled, living in L.A.  I come to Vegas every winter, where it is always colder than Southern California.  Still not as cold as Buffalo or Minnesota, of course, but colder than my mild L.A. climate.

So when I get in my car late at night (or early in the morning) and see the temperature gauge reading in the 40's....or even, gulp, in the 30's, I am a bit taken aback.

Still, as friggin' cold as it is, it is not unseasonably cold.  Because it is winter, and that is the season for cold.

One of my twitter peeps, discussing the coming storm, where the temperature may drop to the mid-20's, said, "I heard it's gonna be as cold as dicks."

I never heard that phrase before.  I wanted to ask, "As cold as Dick's what?"

But it will be colder than a witch's tit, if you believe that old saw.

Should be interesting, to say the least.  I am worried about the girls who make up what I lovingly refer to as The Slut Parade. I hope they have the good sense to leave those barely-there dresses in the closet and dress warmly and appropriately for the cold weather.  Long, heavy pants, multiple sweaters, heavy coats, no skin showing at all.

Yeah, that's what I hope. 

Stay tuned to the weather channel and this space for further developments.

As for the pic below, Kate Upton is, to the best of my knowledge, not a witch. But here she is in a bikini, in the snow, and I bet when this pic was taken, her famous "hand-warmers" were not very warm.