What The Hell Were They Thinking?

WARNING:  This is not a poker post.  It is completely off-topic from my usual content.  It is a movie review of the most popular movie on the planet right now.  Actually, to be more accurate, it is really a rant about what I didn't like about the film.

WARNING:  There is no way I can talk about what I didn't like without spoiling the movie.  So, consider this a major, serious, no-shit-I-mean-it SPOILER WARNING for the hit movie, AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR. I mean it folks, if you haven't seen AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR well, first of all, I kind of envy you but more importantly, do not read this post unless you are sure you won't be seeing it or don't mind being spoiled.  If you are planning on seeing it, bookmark this and come back when you do and then you can compare your thoughts to mine.  I personally hate spoilers so I trust you have all been properly warned. 

Ready?  Scroll down:

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NO SERIOUSLY, THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD.

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REALLY, I MEAN IT!!!!

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Ok, that should be enough notice.  I don't want to hear any complaints that I "ruined the movie" for you.  Actually, the writers and the producers of the movie did that.  Well, I dunno about you, but they sure ruined it for me.

I just saw the Avengers movie Sunday and I really can't put into words my reaction when the movie was over.  Oh actually I can, but I vowed not to use those type of words on this blog.

My reaction alternated between "What the hell was that?" and "What the hell were they thinking?"

Now for the first approximately five and a half hours of the film, it was fine.  Not great by any means, but certainly a fun, enjoyable Marvel comics movie.  It was more than OK.  It certainly wasn't as good as the best Marvel movie (the original Avengers, which I actually reviewed on this very blog when it was released, see here). Not as good as the sequel or as the better films in the series, (the first Iron Man, the new Spider-Man and the second and third Captain America films come to mind).  But maybe right after those.  It was pretty much what I expected.

Until the very end.  What happened in the end?  Well…AGAIN, SPOILER WARNING.

The Avengers lost and everyone died.

Well night quite.  The Avengers did lose, but not quite everyone died.  Although we can't be sure.  Because the way they died—they just disintegrated after the big bad guy snapped his fingers—implies that more could die after the film ends.  Who died?  Well, if you're a "TLDR" type of person (and you likely are if you read this blog), then it would be easier to Google who didn't die than who did die, that's how much of a blood bath it was.

Now before you rip into me, yes, I know that this is really just part 1 of a two part Avengers story (or is it really like part 19?). I did know that going in. I know that next year we will be treated to the conclusion, and that somehow, through the magic of Stan Lee, movies, comics, super-heroes and bad writing, all the dead will someone return to life and save the world. And it will be thrilling.  And they'll all make jokes about not being dead anymore.  Ha ha.

After all, most of the dead characters already have additional Marvel movies announced (which I suppose could take place before they all died, but probably won't).

But for now, for a whole year, this is where we stand.  A shitload of dead Avengers. 

I'm sorry, this is just not what I expect from a Marvel movie, from a comic book movie.  I was just stunned.  It was so dark.  So (seemingly) final.  So depressing.  So somber. So dismal. 

I sat there thinking, "that's it?" while the credits rolled.  I sat glued to my seat hoping that the inevitable mid or post credits tag would give me some hope for future.  Like Tony Stark popping up on the screen saying, "Joke time's over, sucker!"  But no. The post credits scene just double downs on what we saw and is even more depressing. 

Seriously, Marvel?  Seriously?  I go to a Super Hero movie to be entertained.  It's supposed to be a fun experience.  I should leave the theater with a smile on my face knowing I had a good time for two plus hours.  All the good will in that regard the movie had earned with me for the first 95% went out the window after the last 10 minutes.  That was anything but fun.  I felt cheated.  I felt that all the time I had spent with the previous movies in the series had been wasted. 

I just sat there thinking, "what the hell was that?"  A cliff hanger where everyone is in imminent danger is one thing.  But this is past the point of danger.  If they're dead they no longer in danger.  I suppose that's the "glass is half full" way to look at it. 

Honestly, I see the ending as just a giant F.U. to all the fans who have supported the films all these years. "We know you came here for a good time, but we don't give a shit.  We're going to send you home with a really dark, disturbing ending to ruin your day.  Thanks for your support, and be sure to come back next year when we'll come up with some really hokey way to bring all the characters you love back to life."

A giant F.U.

The thing is, after this experience, I'm not too keen on giving these guys any more of money.  I have zero enthusiasm for seeing the resolution.  Not after this.  I'd sooner write to Marvel and demand my money back for all their movies I've paid for up to now. I sure don't want to give them any more money.

I want to make it clear I don't expect every movie I see to leave me smiling.  I've seen some great movies that do not have happy endings.  Schlinder's List wasn't exactly a laugh riot (although it did have an uplifting aspect to it). But as I said, comic book movies are supposed to be fun.  If you leave a comic book movie in stunned silence (and as far as I could tell at the theater I saw, everyone was very quiet), I think you're doing it wrong.

And by killing so many people, I think it's going to make it really hokey when they bring them all back.  I mean the odd return to the living of some not-quite-dead character here or there is always a bit of a stretch, but if you don't abuse it, it can be forgivable (especially for a really great character).  But a mass resurrection?  That's not respecting your audience. I guess we will see Dr. Strange reverse time, or reveal that the last 10 minutes of this flick is all an elaborate illusion that is part of some great master plan.  That won't make me forget the bad feeling I had as I walked out of the theater yesterday.

The thing that shocks me even more than the ending is the fact that I haven't seen even one other person complaining about this.  Not one.  True that until now I have been avoiding reading much about the film to avoid spoilers, but still, all I've seen is praise (mild and/or strong).  Maybe that's because you can't really rant about this without spoiling the film. Nevertheless, I seem to be alone on this, at least so far.  Just as I was writing this I saw a few people I respect on Twitter all talking about how much they liked the movie, no one said anything about the ending.

Maybe I'm just out there all alone.  Maybe I'm crazy?  And I know the movie is setting all sorts of box office records.  Maybe that will convince Marvel to end all their future movies with 3/4's of the cast dead—not to mention half the population of the world, I guess I left that detail out, that half of all the normal people on the planet also die!  Maybe that makes the ending more upbeat, somehow?

I dunno….I just don't get it.  Instead of driving home rehashing all the fun bits in the film that I liked, all I could think of was how dark and depressing the ending was.

Just ruined the whole experience for me.  (Edited to add:  My long time pal "Norm", with whom I have seen a ton of super hero movies over the years--but not this one--just emailed me his response to this post:  "My two-word comment on the movie:  Avengers Disassembled.")