Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Quads at the Linq From The Trooper

One thing on my to-do list for this most recent trip was to play some poker at the newly re-opened poker room at The Linq and have some cards tossed to me by The Trooper.

You all know The Trooper, right?  If you haven’t been following his great vlog, why not?  I told you all about my meeting with Tim, aka The Trooper, in the post here, but I imagine most of you already were familiar with him.

Before getting to town, I learned that the Linq (formerly The Quad, formerly The Imperial Palace) was reopening their poker room.  They had closed it at the beginning of the year. And then, Tim announced on his vlog that he was going to be working there as a poker dealer when they reopened.  Tim had dealt poker where he is from but had never been a dealer in a Vegas poker room before.

Well, many of his fans and Twitter pals decided to hit the Linq the first Friday night the room was open.  Sadly for me, this was the week before I was scheduled to return to town, so I missed it, I’m sure it was a lot of fun.

Tim was scheduled to work the first Friday night I was in town, so I penciled in that date.  What ensured it though was learning from Paul that he and his pal Dom would be playing there that evening to meet Tim for themselves.  Paul and Dom are the two Brits that were featured in the recent post here.  The night I’m about to tell you about took place one night before the activities in that post occurred.

Since I had never met them and most definitely wanted to, this seemed like the right evening to check out the latest incarnation of the Linq poker room.

I arrived around 7PM and Tim was there, in uniform, ready to deal, waiting for a game to start.  The room has four tables and in addition to $45 tournaments four times a day, they offer $1-$1 NLH.  Yeah, both the small and big blinds are a buck.  Back in the Quad days, they were actually offering a $.50-$1 NLH game (and I wrote about the fun we had playing it here).  When they reopened, they decided the fifty cent pieces were too much of a headache to deal with, so they went with a 1/1 game, $100 minimum buy-in, $300 max.  They also offer a 1/3 game with no cap and a 1/1 PLO game, though I haven’t seen those spread very often. 

Tim of course was not wearing a baseball cap so he actually recognized me before I recognized him.  And then he told me that there were already some guys here waiting for me.  He meant Paul and Dom, who were sitting at the one active table, a 1/1 game.  I went over to say hello.  It was hard to talk though over the noise that was coming from their table.  It was one of the rowdiest tables I’ve ever heard.  There was shouting and laughter and obscenities every other minute.  But alas, it was full.

There were three people or so sitting at a table with a dealer.  Tim suggested I take a seat there and they could soon start a second game.  He was sure that if we could get the game going short-handed, it wouldn’t take long for other people to show up and fill the table.

He was right.  We decided to start the game four-handed with a very reduced rake.  A buck for the promo at $10 and a buck (max) for the house rake at $20. Can’t beat that.  I took to Twitter to promote the game and see if I could induce any of my Twitter followers to join.  But it wasn’t really necessary.  One by one, players came to fill the seats.  It was a full table (with a waiting list) in less than 45-minutes or so.

Now, Paul had initially told me that if that other game started, he would ask to move over to join me.  But he decided he couldn’t leave that game and I don’t blame him.  I don’t know how “juicy” that game was, but it was clear everyone was having way too good a time to leave.

I heard a dealer or two (not Tim) talk a little bit about this, but I didn’t get the full story until I saw Paul the next night at MGM.  But there was a guy in his game who got robbed the night before.  Apparently said guy had won $3K gambling and had three $1K chips that he’d taken up to his room.  But he didn’t go up to his room alone.  No, he apparently took a woman with him that he had just met.  Paul was not clear on whether the woman was actually a hooker, or this was just a hook-up, but apparently, after some physical activity was engaged in, the guy fell asleep.  When he awoke, both the woman and the three $1K chips were gone.  Not the first time something like that has happened in Vegas, I’ll wager. 

I asked the most pertinent question which was, of course, did the guy actually get laid before he dozed off?  And as far as we know, the answer is yes.  So he got screwed twice, although he only enjoyed the first screwing.  Well, at least he got something of value for his $3K.  But you know, for $3K you could probably find yourself one helluva a smoking hot hooker, and I doubt this gal was up to that caliber. 

But perhaps the funniest part of the story was that this guy’s buddy was telling everyone at the table—indeed everyone he encountered—the story as if it was the greatest story ever.  Paul said the guy who got was robbed, who happened to be Russian, was already so drunk by the time Paul heard the story that he didn’t seem to notice (or care) that his misfortune was being used for comedic effect by his pal.

I bought in for $200, apparently forgetting that it was 1/1 and $100 would have been more appropriate.  But I have to say, for whatever reason, it was hard for me to take the game seriously.  Not sure why.  It was real money, even though the stakes were a little smaller.  Perhaps it was because the game started so short.  But for awhile there, I was too busy on Twitter trying to get folks to show up to pay much attention.  And then, at the beginning, I wasn’t even writing down hands. Not sure why. 

Tim did a fine job, and I suspect once he gets more experience dealing under his belt he’ll loosen up even more, but it was a fun table whenever he was dealing.  Actually, all the dealers were pretty fun, and very good.  It was a very nice atmosphere, but my table couldn’t compete with the craziness behind me at Paul’s game.

The action was loose and I started out doing pretty well—well enough so that I wasn’t really tempted to ask for a change to Paul’s crazy table even after our game filled up.

There was one guy at the table who was pretty much dictating the action.  Very loud, very loose.  His brother was also in the game, much quieter, sitting across from me, until I felted him.  But the very loud, loose brother, who I guess I’ll call Chatterbox, was the key to the session.  He talked nonstop and bet nonstop. He was making the biggest preflop raises, and the most frequent.  The average preflop raise size was all over the map, sometimes $3 or $4 and sometimes as high as $12-$15. 

I didn’t take real notes, but against Chatterbox’s brother, I called his preflop raise with Ace-2 of diamonds.  I called something on the flop with the flush draw, which I hit on the turn.  I think I bet that turn and he called, then went all in on the river where I had the stone cold nuts.  He flipped over two Aces.  Suddenly I was sitting behind a bit over $300.  Chatterbox had also done well with his aggression and had me covered, probably just by a little bit.

I was in the blind with Jack-10 offsuit.  I called a small raise, there were a bunch of us.  The flop was Jack-10-2, rainbow.  I bet $20, I’m sure that was less than the pot.  Chatterbox, who was not the preflop raiser, called.  The turn was a Jack.  I thought about slowplaying it, but with only one more street to go, I felt I had to get more money in the pot while I could.  But I only bet $25, he called (I believe we were heads up at this point).   The river was a King.  I bet $50 and he went into the tank.

My thought was he was likely to fold but trying to talk himself into calling.  He had played with me long enough to know I wasn’t betting there with nothing—at least I thought he was observant enough to figure that out.  I could be wrong on that.  But after a while, he was starting to count out a lot more chips than $50 and he slid forward $155. 

He didn’t have that much behind and neither did I….but I decided to just call.  I wasn’t really worried about pocket Kings—I couldn’t see him playing Kings that way—but I figured if he had King-Jack he could have easily played it pretty much same way.

He flipped over his hand, “I have a full house,” he said.  He sure did….pocket deuces.  He flopped a set and turned a boat.  Sadly for him, I had flopped two pair and turned a bigger boat.

When I finished stacking my chips, I actually took a picture of my stack and tweeted it out with the line, “Boat over boat is good!”  People were tweeting back asking me if Trooper had dealt me that hand.  I snarkily replied, “No, Trooper would never be that good to me.”

Then I lost some chips with pocket Queens.  I raised preflop, bet every street on a Jack-high board.  On the river, the board was still not very scary and I bet $50.  The guy who had been calling me suddenly checked-raised to $150.  I don’t think a guy playing 1/1 is bluffing enough there to make a call profitable, so I let it go.  I’m sure he had a set or two pair.  But I’ll never know for sure.

A bit later, Tim pushed back in to deal.  And so, the player on my right, who I believe had just entered the game, asked Tim about the promos for the room.  Since they just opened, the promos are on the small side, just high hand bonuses, $50 for quads, $100 for straight flushes and $200 for Royals.  Tim explained that to the guy and within five minutes, dealt that very guy quads.  Seriously, it was quite coincidence that the guy who asked about the bonuses got one so soon after.  He had pocket 6’s, flopped a set and turned quads. I don’t think anyone called his turn bet but he showed them for the bonus.

Tim remarked how funny that was, the timing, and he said he was gonna mention it in his next vlog, but I don’t think he did.  I guess he was leaving it to me.

So not that much longer after that, with Tim still dealing, I got King-6 of spades n the big blind.  I think there was a raise to $3 which I called.  The flop was 10-6-6 and I checked, but the preflop raiser and everyone else checked too.  The turn was the case 6.  That would be the second time Tim dealt quad 6’s during this particular down (tho, since I didn’t have two in my hand, no bonus).  I bet $10 and got a caller.  I don’t recall the river and I hoped the guy would call $25, so that’s what I put out.  He did call.  He started to flip over his cards and then turned them back over when he saw the 6 in my hand.

I had to amend my tweet.  Trooper wouldn’t deal me boat over boat, but he did just deal me quads.

Last hand of note, I had pocket Jacks and called a raise with them.  I flopped a set with a flush draw on the board.  I bet $20 and had one caller.  I bet $50 on the turn and no call.

I was up over $300 at one point and managed to cash out with about 2/3’s of that.  Not bad for a 1/1 game.  I picked up around the same time Paul and Dom did by pure coincidence.

It was a fun night and also profitable.  But it wasn’t until the next day that I realized my biggest mistake of the night.  I forgot to drop the “f-bomb!”

You see, when I heard that Tim was going to be dealing at Linq, I told him, on Twitter, that I would go play there and say “f***” a lot and enjoy the moment when he had to warn me about my language.  If you’ve seen Trooper’s videos you know why this funny—every other word out of his mouth starts with “f.”  The irony of him having to warn someone about their language appealed to me.

That said, I don’t think it would have mattered. Tim responded to my challenge on Twitter that he understood that they would be pretty lenient in enforcing language rules at the Linq. And for that matter, the table behind us was shouting enough f-bombs for them to be complaining from the Bellagio.

Still, I think I missed a bet there.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

I Should Only Play Pocket Kings at the Venetian

On a Wednesday night during my recent Vegas visit, I decided to play at the Venetian.  And then I saw a tweet from Andr0us that he and his fiancĂ© were going to be playing there that night.  As I mentioned when I basically did an entire post “dedicated” to him (see here), he and I are Twitter buddies.  Although, before this night, I had never met him in person, I kind of felt like we were almost brothers. 

When I got to the V I made sure to tweet to him and ask him if he was there.  In the meantime, I had gotten a seat at a 1/2 game.  When he replied that he was there and gave me his table and seat #, I realized he was sitting at the table right behind me.  In fact, he was in the seat right behind me.  I didn’t say anything to him directly. I noticed the person in the seat he identified was wearing a Dodgers baseball cap, backwards.  So I tweeted to him, asking if he was wearing a Dodgers baseball cap, backwards. He tweeted back, “Just for you.”

Awesome.  Of course, I have made a point, here on the blog, of saying that I hate it when guys wear their caps backwards.  But if someone does it on purpose just for me, as an “homage” to my well known pet peeve, well, I’ll take that compliment every time.  And by the way, later in the evening, he asked me if I was satisfied with the cocktail service in the room, a reference to the post I linked to above. For the record, after while, he turned his cap around and wore it the proper way, as all people with class do.

Actually, this is the proper way to wear a Dodgers cap
Anyway, we turned around and met, chatted a bit, and he introduced me to his lovely fiancĂ©.  But there was no empty seat at his game and I had already figured out that the table I was at might be worth staying at.  I had been there for three hands, and each one had been all-in by the turn.  Clearly if I could get a hand, I could make some money at this table.

Both Andr0us and I tweeted out that we had finally met.  So Tony tweeted back that he should straddle every chance he got.  Andr0us replied, “Are you kidding?  He’ll blog about me!  No way!”  That was actually in reference to then-current Twitter discussion about me blogging nasty things about my friends and fellow bloggers. That is untrue, of course—I would never heap abuse on any of my friends in this blog—except of course, when I do.

But we never played together, and just gave each other updates on our tables through the night.  Apparently both of our games were juicy.

The guy on my left was a major league maniac and loved to straddle. He straddled under-the gun—meaning he straddled my big blind—and also from the button.  At least at the V, the action on a button straddle begins as God intended—under-the-gun and not with the small blind. His stack fluctuated like crazy.  One hand he got a big double up, shoving (or calling a shove) with two pair against a guy who had TPTK with Ace-King.  But within three hands, he had lost most of it to someone else, when he shoved his TPTK with Ace-King into a guy with two pair.  Yeah, it was like that.

I probably would have asked for a seat change (if not a table change), but whenever I had the chance to move, I was doing well and had determined that my seat was lucky.  Then, since it was a high variance game, I’d start losing but there would be no seat to move to.

Early on, I had the dreaded pocket Kings in the big blind.  Of course the maniac on my left had straddled. One person had called the straddle when it got to me so I made it $20.  Maniac called and the other player called.  The flop was Ace-high.  Brand new to the table but already knowing the action was wild, I just checked.  Note:  usually in that situation, I do bet with the Ace on the flop.  But it checked behind me.  The turn was a blank and this time I bet $50.  Nobody called.

Within an orbit, I got Kings again.  I was in early position and opened to $15.  That was, I thought, a smallish raise for this table.  And I don’t think I had been there long enough to have really gotten a tight image.  But no one called.

In late position, I limped in with Ace-10 offsuit.  I had noticed the maniac had actually left the table before the action got to him.  But everyone else saw the flop—all 8 of us.  The flop was 10-5-5, and I called $12.  There were now only five of us left!  The turn was a King and it folded to the button, a woman, who bet $20.  Very small bet for the size of the pot. It folded to me and I called.  We were heads up.  An Ace hit the river and this time I led out for $30.  But she folded (guessing she had a weak King).

I had Ace-2 in the small blind.  By this time the maniac had busted a couple of times and had to hit the ATM up for more money.  When he got back, it seemed like he had had a come to Jesus moment and was playing a lot tighter.  I decided to limp in and see if he raised—but he just checked.  Five of us saw a flop of A-4-2, two clubs.  I bet $5 and two players called.  I bet $10 on a red face card and got one call.  I sure didn’t like the 3 of clubs on the river, but I bet $15 and got a call.  He said, “I don’t think you have a 5,” and called.  He was right, but he obviously couldn’t beat two pair and just mucked.

Then I got pocket Kings again.  Third time of the night.  Early position player opened to $15, I made it $45.  It folded back to him.  He doubled checked my bet and then said, “I guess I’m all in.”  It was only a total of $88.  Of course I called.  All the cards on the board were low and he showed pocket Jacks.  Wow, three for three with the dreaded hand this nite.

I checked from the big blind with Ace-4 of spades.  Five saw a flop with nothing for me but a single spade.  None-the-less, I called $10 and it was three-way.  A second spade hit the turn and I called $15.  It was just heads up.  The 7 of spades on the river gave me the nut flush but also paired the board.  So I just called his $30 bet.  All he had was trip 7’s and my flush was good.

By this time, the table had quieted down considerably.  The other aggros at the table had all left, replaced by nittier players.  The maniac on my left was also much quieter, as I mentioned.  He only got frisky again when he opened to $25 when I had a pair of 6’s I wanted to see a flop with.  But not at that price.  I folded and went to the Men’s Room immediately so I wouldn’t see the flop.

I decided to call it a night and take my $150 profit with me.  It was a nice session and it was good to finally meet Andr0us, who is a cool guy. Maybe next time I play with him, I’ll actually play with him.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

"Oh, She's Got Boobs...."

This was my first session of my trip from earlier this month. Until I sat down at the table, I hadn’t realized how tired I was.  But I felt it as soon as I started looking at cards, and kind of knew that this was going to be a short session.

At the table were a couple of regs I’ve called Jan & Dean in the past (see here).  There are not kids, to say the least.  A married couple who visit Vegas often and always seem to play at MGM when they do, Dean has a full head of totally white hair. 

I said hello to them and noticed that my pal Mike was pushing in.  This happened to be a Thursday night, which meant that it was a Slut Parade night.  And after noticing me (first time I’d been in the room in nearly two months), he turned his attention to Dean who was giving him a hard time.  Apparently, I’m not the only player that Mike deals bad beats to.  Dean was saying to Mike, “Already?  You’re gonna crush me so early tonite?”  And I said, “No, he came here to crack my Kings.”

Then Mike brought up something that had happened in the room the night before, that I obviously missed, seeing as how I was in L.A. at the time.  It seems that there was this really spectacular looking girl who walked by the poker room (even though there would have been no Slut Parade on a Wednesday night).   To hear Mike tell it, this girl was beyond sensational. As I heard the story play out, it seems that Dean missed seeing her because he was playing a hand.  Mike was across the room, in the back, but couldn’t help noticing her. To hear him tell it, everyone in the room with a y-chromosome noticed her.  But Jan, who was sitting next to Dean then as now, saw the girl, agreed she was incredible and did not point out the girl to her husband.  And from the conversation, it was clear that this is something Jan normally does indeed do—point out hot babes to her husband whenever she sees them.  It is one of her wifely duties.  And she failed in this instance and Dean was kind of pissed about it.  Interesting that they have that kind of relationship.  I don’t think a lot of wives Jan’s age would so eagerly take that responsibility.  Anyway, Mike assured me that this exactly the type of girl I view the Slut Parade to see.

Later, I suddenly heard Mike call Dean’s name and I figured out that he was trying to get him to look at some female passing by.  So I turned around as well (I had my back to the walkway).  I only got a look at her from the back, which was pretty impressive.  And Dean gave Jan a hard time for having to rely on Mike for providing this service instead of Jan.

There was some weird action at this table when I first got there and was getting my bearings. There was a limped pot, and the flop was King-King-6.  The guy to my right put out a smallish bet, and had a bit over $100 behind (I had folded pre).  Dean was sitting behind a big stack of at least $450 and announced all-in.  It folded back to the guy to my right, who tanked for a long time and then finally announced he was calling.  Dean flipped over his cards…King-9.  The other guy flipped over Jack-6!  Huh?  Note: there was two of a suit on the board, but this guy’s Jack-6 was unsuited and neither of the cards matched the suit that was duplicated on the board.  After a blank turn, the guy on my right was calling for a 6—as if that would have helped.  His trip 6’s would have lost to Dean’s boat.  But it was a brick and Dean took in a decent pot and the guy with Jack-6 left, much to everyone’s disappointment.

As he was stacking his chips, I said to Dean, “Well, Christmas came early for you, huh?” Everyone nodded, and Dean agreed.  He couldn’t understand it but then he said, “I guess he thought I was full of shit.”  Then pointing to his wife, who was sitting next to him, he added, “Of course, she thinks I’m full of shit.”

There was another odd hand early.  There was a guy who was the table’s designated Aggro who had a smallish stack by this time.  I got the impression his stack had grown and shrunk a few times before I’d gotten there.  On the hand I noted, the board was 9-8-4, two spades and he shoved on it, I guess about $130, maybe a bit less.  He got called by two other players. Turns out he was shoving with 4-5 of spades. And he hit his flush on the river.  The other two players had a set of 9’s and a set of 8’s.  So now this Aggro had a nice stack to play with and he wasn’t shy about putting chips in play.

I had managed to drip down to about $140 (from $200) without really getting much to play.  Then I found myself with pocket deuces.  I called $8 and it was six-ways, including Aggro who was not the raiser.  The flop came 8-5-2, two clubs.  The raiser checked, but Aggro bet $30.  He had well over $400 by this time.  The new guy on my right, with a stack slightly more than mine, called the $30.  Well, with the size of my stack, I couldn’t figure out how to raise without going all in, so I went all-in.  It folded back to Aggro, who thought for a little bit and called. It turned out he had to put in another $104 to call.

The only one left was the guy to my right.  He thought long and hard.  Then he thought longer and harder.  And finally, he folded.  The turn was a brick, but the river was a club, and the guy on my right groaned a bit.  Aggro turned over….8-6, both red, offsuit.  Huh? Top pair, no kicker and a back door straight draw?  Happy to take your money, sir.

Of course the guy on my right was saying he would have hit his flush.  Hmm…..If he had a flush draw, I think he had the right price to call there, no?  I mean aside from the result, I think he should have called.  I asked him if he had a baby flush draw.  Maybe he didn’t call because he was afraid he was drawing dead and that one of us had a bigger flush draw?  But he said no, he had a Queen-high flush draw and he “wasn’t worried at all about him (Aggro).”  He said he was worried about me, thinking I either had a set or Aces.  Huh?  Well, of course, I wouldn’t have played Aces that way, but obviously he didn’t know that.  Either way, I don’t know how he folds there.  He really should have shoved for not a lot more than my shove and he would have won a real nice pot.  But it was damn nice of him to not chase his flush when I think it would have been the right play.

That gave me a profit of over a hundred bucks.  And so, because my seat was now a “lucky seat” I didn’t take the opportunity to move to a seat with a better view of the Slut Parade when I had the chance.

In the small blind I had 9-8 off, no raise so I completed.  It was four way.  The flop was 10-7-6 two clubs, pretty good for me.  I bet $5 and someone made it $15.  I just called, it was just the two of us.  The turn was a King of hearts, a nice blank.  I checked, he bet $20, I made it $60, he tanked and folded.

I called $15 with pocket Queens and it was heads up.  The flop was Ace-Queen-x.  I called $25.  The turn was a King and he bet $55.  I was pretty sure he didn’t have Jack-10.  I made it $140 and he tanked, but folded. 

It was early but I was real tired and though I seemed to be running well, but I was afraid that playing tired would ruin the night.  Just as I was ready to wrap it up, the next dealer pushed in, and it was Ellen, who I told you about here. She was the dealer who, as a player, had made a great laydown against my turned set of Kings with a pair of Aces.  Now that hand had occurred over two months ago, but I had only written the post about it days before, so it was once again fresh in my mind.  And so, after saying hi to her, I immediately said, “I still can’t believe you folded there.”  It was sort of a non-sequitur to her.  But she did in fact remember the hand, kind of.  She said, “Well, it was just weird how it played out.”  But then she asked for more details and I had to play it back for her.  She didn’t recall if we had showed our cards or not.  We had not.  I said she told me (hours later) she had Ace-Queen and I told her I had Kings.  So she said, “Well, I could have been lying.”  And I said, “Yeah, I could have been lying too.”  Anyway, it was rather amusing to me that we were rehashing a hand from over two months ago that I was pissed about for not taking more of her money. Poker players, huh?

A few minutes later I took my chips up to the podium to cash out, up $220.  For just a couple of hours play, I was quite happy.  While I was getting my money, there were people walking behind me, either towards or away from the club.  Suddenly I heard a female voice, and with absolutely no context, I heard her say to her pals, “Oh, she’s got boobs.....”

Oddly enough, that got my attention.  I turned around and saw a group of people walking the opposite direction from the club.  They were not dressed for the club, I’ll tell you that.  The speaker, it turned out, was a rather short, kind of overweight gal.  But sadly, it was too late to get any read on her boobs.  And then I heard her continue, just before she got out of my hearing range:  “They’re small…..but she’s got boobs.”

A nice session and a nice “woman said” first nite in town.  A good score.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

"You Did That to Me?.....But I Bought You Dinner!"

This is part 2 of my recent session with Prudence.  if you missed part 1, it is here.

Later in the evening—we were joined by two more folks who were familiar with my blog—well one for sure.  I think this was after Warren left.  You see, visiting from England this weekend were Paul and Dom.  Paul has posted numerous comments on my blog and many others you probably read under the name “Arniejokin” and you can follow him on Twitter here.  Dom is Paul’s buddy—not really sure if he reads my blog but since I had met the two of them the night before I’m sure Paul filled Dom in on it if that was necessary.  The previous night I had hoped to play with them at The Linq, but when I get a chance to write the post about that evening’s antics, you will learn why that never happened and instead we were at separate tables that night. 

Before I had arrived at the MGM, I had seen a tweet from Paul that the two of them were playing at my “home base” that afternoon.  In fact, when I got to MGM and was waiting for Prudence and Aaron to arrive, I found them at a table.  They were nearly done with their session and weren’t sure what they were going to do after their dinner break.  I suggested they return to MGM because not only was a Slut Parade night, but there was UFC fight there and that always makes for wild, juicy poker games after the fight.  I apparently convinced them, because hours later, I got a tweet from Paul asking if I could put them on the list as call-ins.  I did, and not long after that they showed up and got into a game at a different table.

When I saw Paul earlier, I told him that I was waiting for some friends to have dinner with before playing poker.  But I never identified my friends in any way.

But by the time they were sitting in a different game, clear on the other side of the room, Prudence had had quite a few drinks.  And she was not only inappropriate, as I’ve indicated, she was also quite loud.  So loud that her buddy Stan, at the podium, actually texted her to tone it down a little (or maybe a lot, actually). In addition to what I’ve described, she also managed to utter the f-bomb numerous times.  And she made a reference to “swallowing” which I’m pretty sure wasn’t about the alcohol in front of her (but I am unclear on the context).   Apparently she could sometimes be heard on the other side of the room, where Paul and Dom were playing.  And soon after they arrived, I received a tweet from Paul that said, “is that someone from an earlier blog at your table?  Prudence?”

Ha ha.  He “recognized” Prudence from across the room! So even tho they were at another table where they said they had perfect seats for the Slut Parade, they asked to be moved to our table for the jocularity.

When Paul first got to the table, the very first hand he played (and thus the very first hand I’d ever played with him), he raised.  I think it was $8.  I think I might have been the big blind.  So when it came to me, I said, “Oh, typical aggro Euro, I see.”  I don’t think he realized I was kidding.  He said, “What?  Well, it was a friendly raise.”  I just laughed.

At one point, Aaron got a phone call.  He stepped away to take it, but returned to play his next hand, still on the phone.  And it turned out he wanted to play that next hand, so he said something like, “hang on, I’m in a hand.”  At which point, Prudence, who had folded, grabbed the phone out of his hand and started talking to the person on the other end.  Prudence had absolutely no idea who she was talking to, but that didn’t stop her from carrying on a conversation with him or her.

I either couldn’t hear or can’t remember most of what I overheard her telling this person on the phone—except for one thing.  We all did hear her say, “Yes, his cock is adequate.”  She said this at least three or four times, while Aaron was playing the hand.  Now by this time, the dealer was a woman I had never seen before—but actually, you’ve already met her—she was the dealer I called “Janet” in the post here.  She was brand new to Prudence and had no idea what to make of her, but she was rather nonchalant in reacting to her antics—with an occasional smile or giggle. 

When Aaron was through with the hand, Prudence returned the phone to him and announced to the entire table, “I have no idea who that was.  It might have been his mother.”

That got everyone laughing and Janet said, “Oh….that would be awkward.”  Later, Prudence added, “If it was his mother, I should have thanked her for squeezing him out her vagina.”

Later she put her index and middle fingers up to her lips, spread them to form a “V” and asked the British boys if they knew what that was.  They claimed ignorance.  “Wow, I guess you guys never get laid.”  She explained that it was the symbol for “vagina.”

There was another woman at the table, who didn’t really react one way or the other to Prudence’s antics.  But this gal did figure into a couple of hands that cost me chips.  Yes, yes, there was actually some poker played this night.

Early on I called $6 from the button with Ace-9 off.  Six of us saw a flop of Ace-Queen-x. I called $15 and it was three-way. There was no betting on a blank turn.  I called $40 on a Queen river.  The guy had absolutely nothing and was up nearly $100.  Sadly, he lost the rest of his chips soon after and then left.

From the cutoff, I called $11 with Jack-8 of diamonds, it was 5-way.  The flop was Jack-10-x and no one bet.  With a 9 on the turn, the aforementioned lady went all in for $46.  It folded to me and I thought it was worth calling, since that would close the action, the pot was pretty big and I now had an open-ender.  But I bricked and it didn’t matter, she had King-Queen and had a bigger straight than I was drawing to on the turn. 

A bit later I had pocket Aces, both were black.  I raised to $10 and it was 5-way.  There was a King and two mediumish cards on the flop, also two spades.  I bet $40 and the lady called.  The turn was a red 5 and we both checked.  We checked a red 4 on the river.  I showed my Aces and she showed….5-4 of spades for runner-runner two pair!  WTF?  She called my preflop raise with 5-4 (but it was sooooooted) and then my big flop bet with a baby flush draw.  And then went runner-runner on the two pair.  I guess I should have bet the turn but I doubt that she would have folded, based on how she played that.  Ugh.

I called a $10 raise from Prudence with Ace-4 of diamonds.  Three or four of us saw the flop, which had a 4 on it and one diamond.  She bet $30 and I made a loose call, thinking she might be c-betting and I did actually have a pair, plus the back door flush draw.  The turn was another diamond and there was no betting.  She checked the river, which completed my nut flush.  I bet something, she folded and I showed my hand to get a drawing ticket. 

A few hands later I had Ace-4 offsuit in the small blind and I called.  But I hadn’t noticed that it was a straddle, which at MGM is $5.  Rather than make an issue of it, I just took back my two bucks and put out a red chip.  Good decision.  The flop had both an Ace and a 4 on it. I checked, going for the check-raise, but it checked behind me.  I turned a boat with another 4, and bet 15.  There was one call but no call on my river bet.

With pocket Jacks, I raised to $8.  It was three of us seeing the flop, including Aaron.  Terrible flop, Queen-Queen-X.  I c-bet $15 and Aaron called.  The board got even worse—an Ace on the turn.  I checked and Aaron bet $40.  I tanked and then folded.  So as the dealer pushed him the pot, Aaron showed his hand.  A Queen?  Nope.  An Ace?  No. He showed King-10 offsuit.  Seriously?  A total bluff?  OK, he had a gutshot, so not a total bluff (but what he didn’t know is, if he had hit his gutshot with a Jack, I would have had a boat).  Ugh.

I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances.  Remind him that I had paid for his meal.  “What?  You did that to me…..and I bought you dinner!”

But actually, it was Prudence who was more upset than I was.  “How could you do that to Rob?  You’re gonna pay for that!  He can’t give you a worse name than Jace got (see here)—nobody will ever be named that again.  But watch out!”

Heh heh…until they left, I kept teasing him about the terrible name I would come up with for him.  Actually, “Osama” was going through my mind.  In fact, when they left, he said something to me about, “Please don’t give me an awful name.”  Well ok, I did take pity on him, because he seems like a really nice guy (except as a poker player) and well…..I did get back at him a bit, as you’ll see.

Now long time readers might notice a pattern….my friends can always bluff me off hands.  I mean, before Aaron it happened here and here.  Well, more proof that I should never play poker with people who read my blog.  But I’m sure that the only times I’ve ever been bluffed successfully, it’s been by friends of mine.  I’m sure no one I don’t know well has ever been able to bluff me.  Yeah, I’m sure of that.

A bit after this hand, I was finally able to move my seat, from the middle of the table to immediately on Aaron’s left.  “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Prudence raised to $6, Aaron called and I called with King-10 of hearts.  It was four-way.  The flop had two hearts on it, but also two 4’s.  I called $30 from Prudence, as did Aaron. There was no betting on a blank turn. The river was the 3 of hearts.  Prudence checked, as did Aaron, and I bet the rest of my chips….but I was down below $100 by the start of this hand and had only like $30 or so left on the river.  Prudence called and Aaron folded.  Prudence had 6-9 of hearts (affectionately known as “Big Lick”).  No surprise she plays that.  Aaron said he threw away Ace-4 offsuit, and was really pissed to lose to two flushes. He said he was hoping for the Ace of hearts so he could all our money!  Sweet.  I thought I wanted the Ace of hearts to give me the nut flush, but now I knew better.  That gave me enough chips to play with without re-buying.

It turns out Aaron has a real job and had to get up early, so they had to call it a night before I did.

A rather odd woman took over one of their seats.  I moved over to seat 1 and this lady originally sat on my immediate left.  There was a guy sitting between Paul and Dom on the other side that had a short stack and kept raising fairly large in an apparent attempt to give away the rest of his stack as soon as possible.  When he wasn’t raising someone else was, I think either Paul or Dom.  I heard the lady on my left muttering to herself about the frequency and the size of the raises.  She mostly folded to the raises, so I kind of assumed she was a nit.

When the guy between Paul and Dom finally busted, she moved to that seat, between Paul and Dom.  She was one of the blinds when I had Ace-Queen off and raised to $8. There was a call and then the action was on this woman.  First she asked, “Who raised?”  The dealer pointed to me.  And then, knowing it was my raise, she suddenly decided there was one bit of information she desperately needed before deciding what to do.  “What’s his name?” she shouted from across the table.  Well, that was a new one on me!  What the hell difference does my name make?  How is that relevant to her decision? Now…..it might just be that she asked that because the dealer, who knows me of course, might have said, “Rob raised” in addition to pointing to me when she asked who raised.  And she apparently didn’t understand “Rob.”  But how that would affect her decision is beyond me.  Of course, if she was really that interested in my name, she could have asked me while she was sitting next to me.

Anyway, the dealer said my name a few times and she kept mishearing it, “Ralph? Your name is Ralph? What’s your name?”  I was laughing at this. “No, Rob….my name is Rob.”  And so finally she called.  I wonder if she would have folded if my name was Jack?

The flop was very low, and I put out a $15 c-bet.  The other player folded but the lady called.  The turn was an Ace, she checked, I bet $30 and she called again. The river paired the board, a second deuce.  This time, she led out for $30.  Damn.  Had she gotten lucky with the deuce? Trips?  A boat?  I tanked for a bit.  Then I realized that there was no way I could fold top pair there for so little.  Did I want to raise?  I kind of assumed that she would only call if she could beat top pair, so I figured I would play it safe and just call.  As I reached for chips, she said, “Don’t do it….don’t do it.”  Hmm…I try not to be distracted by talk like that.  Are they telling me what they want me to do or what they don’t want me to do?  Undeterred, I called.

She said, “I have nothing and flipped over two low cards, I think a 5 and a 3 (suited, I guess).  So I suppose on the turn she picked up a gutshot, otherwise, she didn’t really have anything. She bet way too little for her bluff to work…besides, I only get bluffed by my friends and I didn’t know this lady from Eve. Her play was beyond strange but I was happy to take her chips.

It was getting close to midnight, I had a few drawing tickets.  But I was not called.  I picked up soon after, booking a very small profit (slightly under $100).  But I had a shitload of entertainment for the evening.  I said goodbye to the boys from the U.K. and only wished I’d been sitting closer to them so we could have chatted.  Seemed like really good guys, despite the language barrier. 

I have reason to believe that I will be playing more live poker with Prudence and Aaron on future trips.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

"What's Your Bra Size?"

Last night, as I was writing this post, it dawned on me that the next day (now, today, Sunday) would be the 4th anniversary of the start of this blog.  It was officially launched on September 20, 2011.  Now over three-quarters of a million page views later, I won’t be celebrating the anniversary in any special way here, but it is appropriate that my post on this anniversary will be all about my pal, Prudence, since so much of the credit for this blog taking off is due to the posts I did about her in the early days, as I was trying to build an audience.
It’s been almost a full year since I did a post starring Prudence. You can find that last post with here.

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before, but Prudence is single again. And as I was preparing for my most recent visit to Vegas, she made it clear she wanted me to meet her new gentleman caller.  So on the first Saturday I was in Vegas this month, we arranged to have dinner together, followed by a poker session at MGM.

Did I not mention that Prudence’s new fella plays poker?  He does indeed, though I’m pretty sure that was just a coincidence, not something that she was looking for in a beau. Prudence had pretty much “retired” from live poker, preferring to play online, something totally legit in Nevada.

We will have to assign a blog name for Prudence’s boyfriend, won’t we?  Now, as you will read, in the course of this night, I promised to give him a really horrible name, but I’m going to cut him a break he probably doesn’t deserve and refer to him as “Aaron.”  

As I later learned, somewhere along the line Prudence told Aaron about her poker playing buddy Rob, i.e, me.  And then she had a difficult decision to make.  At what point in their relationship was it safe to reveal to Aaron that her buddy Rob had a poker blog?  And that there was a character with multiple appearances on said blog by the name of “Prudence” who was in fact Aaron’s new girlfriend?  If you recall some of the past posts involving Prudence, you could see that this might be a dilemma for the average woman.  But, as you know, Prudence is not the average woman.

Eventually, Prudence told him about my blog, told him she was Prudence and thus Aaron started reading my old Prudence blog posts. He found them highly entertaining. So much so that he wanted to play some live poker with her and see the “real” Prudence in action.  He likes to play live, but had been only playing on WSOP.com with Prudence to this point.

So, before I got to town, I was given the heads up that Aaron was about to take Prudence to a nice dinner at a major Strip casino, after which they would play live poker together.  And I was told that, during the course of the evening, Prudence might indulge in an adult beverage or two, which could quite possibly bring out her more outrageous side.

I did get a report from that night, from Prudence.  She was relating to me things she had forgotten that Aaron reported to her the next day.  I only wish Aaron had written a guest blog post for me the next day—it would have been memorable.

But I did learn that Prudence was warned by the floor for some of her comments (not sure if it was just the sound level of what she was saying, or the actual content).  At one point, she got a nasty look from one of the female dealers when Prudence referred to the dealer as “busty.”  Apparently her breasts were practically resting on the table, covering her, um, rack.  Oh, the irony.

But the best moment was when a tourist was racking up for the night.  Apparently he was a total luckbox and had taken some big pots from almost everyone at the table.  His last victim, I guess, was Aaron.  He made a hero call and took a lot of Aaron’s chips.  And so, Prudence said to him (loudly, I assume), “You may think you’re the big winner but you’re not the one getting a killer blowjob later.  And you can’t put a price on that.”

I’m pretty sure there are some ladies working the casino late into the night who do, in fact, put a price on exactly that, but I digress.

So on this particular Saturday evening, I got to meet Aaron who turned out to be a real nice guy (and a good poker player).  The three of us enjoyed a meal at the sports bar next to the MGM poker room.  As is custom when I eat there with friends, I dipped into a relatively small portion of my voluminous poker comps and covered the meal at no actual cost to me.  And Prudence did indeed enjoy an adult beverage, as did Aaron.  She was just getting started.

We had some nice conversation over dinner and then it was time to get to the poker portion of the evening.  Since this was the first time she’d played at MGM since the post I linked to at the outset, Prudence had some old friends to say hello to that she hadn’t seen in quite some time (some players, but mostly dealers).  I was the last of the three of us to join the table we all settled into, and who was dealing there but none other than my pal Mike.  As a favor to him, I will not link to any previous posts featuring Mike, you’ll just have to remember that he’s the guy who always deals me pocket Kings and cracks them (ok, so he’s not alone there) and also likes to give me a hard time about how long my blog posts are (again, he’s not alone).

Prudence had already caught up on what was new with Mike when I finally got to the table—I was the last of the three of us to be seated.  As I took my seat, I nodded to another player I recognized at the table, someone who had made it into the blog in the past, and he said to me, “Hi Rob, it’s been a long time since I’ve played with you.”  I said, “yeah, Ace-Queen!”  We talked about the hand that made it into the blog and then he asked, “You still doing the blog?  I haven’t it checked it in awhile, guess I should check it again.”  It was Warren, and I will give you a link to the last time I mentioned him (here).  He had been playing in a different room for awhile, and since returning to MGM several months ago, I’d seen him a lot but we just never ended up at the same table until now.

Before I could answer Warren’s question, Mike kindly answered for me, saying something to the effect, “Oh yeah, he’s still doing it, with those long posts that put you to sleep. I’m ‘Mike’ on the blog, by the way.”  I of course gave my usual retort, which is, “Mike just can’t handle it because I use words with more than one syllable.”

“No, it’s not that….they just run on and on, run on paragraphs, with flashbacks within flashbacks within flashbacks.”  You see, he’s referring all the links I put in to past posts.  But Mike: except in the case of multi-part posts, it isn’t really necessary to click on all the links to follow my stories.  Those links are bonus material.  Consider them “value-added.”  Prudence chimed in, “You’re too young, you want instant gratification.  Rob’s into details.”

Anyway, I suddenly realized that with the dealer, Warren, Prudence and Aaron, at least half the table was familiar with my blog.  That’s pretty unusual unless it’s one of those games with my fellow bloggers.

Now, one of the reasons Prudence wanted to do this on a Saturday night was so that Aaron could see the Slut Parade for himself.  Unfortunately, the table we all ended up at was in the very back of the room.  And the seat I was stuck in for most of the evening had my back to the walkway. This was not lost on Mike.  “Why are you in that seat, it’s the worst seat in the house?”

I just shrugged and said that’s where they sent me, but Prudence piped in with, “Oh yeah, the titty-brigade!  We gotta see the titties!”

Mike asked me if I saw the girl twerking a little while ago.  I had not.  Prudence said, “Well, butts are not his thing anyway, he wants tits.”  Mike said, “Well, she had those too.”

The next dealer was an Asian woman, an old friend of Prudence’s (who is also Asian, in case you’ve forgotten).  They caught up right away.  Amazingly, despite the fact that this dealer has dealt to me for years, I have never given her a blog name before.  So we will now be calling her “Joyce.”  I’m not sure how it came up, but almost immediately Prudence started discussing Joyce’s chest.  Specifically, she asked, “What’s your bra size?”  I’m sure there was context for that which I missed, though perhaps Prudence now asks all her female friends that.  It was then that I pointed out that she had told me that she’d gotten into trouble commenting on a lady dealer’s breasts the last time she played live.  But Prudence was undeterred.  Since she was sitting right next to the dealer, she even grabbed and snapped Joyce’s bra strap through the side of her shirt.

And sure enough, Joyce revealed the size of her bra.  Now, since there are other dealers in the room who (unlike Mike) do read this blog, and since it would too easy for Joyce’s colleagues to figure out who she is, I will not reveal the identified bra size.  I am much too much of a gentleman to do that.  But in keeping with this blog’s tradition, I will give this wonderful woman a pseudo-bra-size.  You know, in addition to the pseudonym I just gave her.  So, we will say that her blog bra size was revealed to be 46-DD.  Again, that is not the size she revealed.

Prudence nodded when she heard the actual size and said, “Well, that’s pretty impressive for an Asian.”

Warren heard some, but not all of this discussion and asked what we were talking about it, and Joyce said, “Oh nothing, nothing.”  But Prudence said, softly I think so that Warren could not hear it, “Just bra sizes.”

They moved on to status updates on their romantic lives.  I didn’t catch the beginning of this, but I did hear Joyce say, “Well, I’m very fussy.”  To which Prudence replied, “Yeah….unlike me, where any penis will do.”  Warren heard this and said, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard that said at a poker table before.”  Obviously, this was his first time playing with Prudence.

There was a hand where Warren raised preflop and Prudence was one of the callers.  Warren c-bet the flop and Prudence min-raised.  Everyone folded including Warren, and for some reason, Prudence decided to show her hand.  She had flopped a set.  Warren thanked her for showing and then asked….”Wow, why did you let me off the hook, why did you let me know you were so strong so early?” I guess he felt she should have slow played it.  Prudence said, “I’m nice…..I have a vagina.”  Warren laughed—everyone did—and Prudence went on, “I have a va-jay-jay…..it was the estrogen…..respect the pussy.”

As Joyce’s down was coming to an end, Prudence asked her who was pushing her.  She thought about it for awhile and then came up with the name of a male dealer who also happens to be Asian (and is someone who Prudence knows well). But it turned out the next dealer, was not the dealer that had been named but some other male dealer—who was also Asian.  This guy had only recently started dealing in the room and I wasn’t familiar with him either.  But as Prudence laughed about that, she started quizzing the new dealer and learned that this new dealer was actually the brother of the dealer she had been told was pushing in.  This totally amused Prudence, that Joyce had identified the wrong Asian brother as her push.  And thus she said, “See, even to other Asians, we all look alike.”

Another time, out of the blue, she looked at me and said, “I want to go on a platonic date with you next week.”  To which I replied, “All my dates end up being platonic.”  That got a few laughs and perhaps some sympathy.  I was just joking, I couldn’t let Prudence be the only one at the table getting laughs.

And that’s where I’m gonna leave part 1.  Part 2 will feature the British Invasion, and I’ll actually get to some poker. Also it will be a bit longer than part 1, because after all, this post is definitely too short.  But don’t worry, more outrageousness from Prudence will be revealed as well.  Stay tuned.  And now, you can read part 2 here.