Wednesday, September 12, 2012

She was Rubbing Something Under the Table

This took place Labor Day night, back in 2011, back when I was still playing 2/4.  I was playing in a particularly boring (and unprofitable) 2/4 game when I noticed a familiar looking blonde walking thru the room, towards the back podium.  I knew I had seen her before...blonde, middle aged, wearing a semi-strapless top.  Well ,it was strapless except that coming right from the center of it there were a couple of straps coming up that encircled her neck.  As she left my line of sight I racked my brain for where I knew her from. It didn't take me very long to figure it out. Was this Shirley--the gal with the mega cleavage from this story?  The one who grabbed her tits at one point and said she wanted them bigger? I believe it was.
Then I noticed Brad and saw both their names on the waitlist.  There were a lot of 2/4 games this night, and I figured that if the two of them ever got into a table together, I might ask for a seat change to join them.  Nothing was happening at my table and they were fun, if memory served.
They were seated at separate tables originally, but as soon as they got to the same table, I asked the floor to move me there when possible.  And a few minutes they did.  So I racked up my chips so I would be closer to Shirley's rack.  
So I ventured over the table where Brad & Shirley were already settled in.  I had to sit on the other side of the dealer from them (they were next to each other).  Unfortunately, although it originally appeared that Shirley’s top was sexy, it somehow didn’t reveal any cleavage at all, so this was quite a bit different from her last visit.
Anyway, I wasn't at that table more than a minute before Shirley recognized me.  Shirley said to Brad, loud enough for me to hear, "Oh, we've played with him before!" while pointing to me. She said “Hi.”  I said “Hi” back.
They were more or less the same fun couple they were last time, but not quite as much (the sequel is never as good as the original).  Although they engaged with most of the players and all of the dealers, they didn't have those two fun loving drunk guys from Seattle to spur them on. Most of the table didn't know what to make of them.  Brad started using poker terms and welcoming each dealer to the table with the statement that, "the poker dealer is the most important person in all of Las Vegas."  He used poker dealer terms like "down" (which is what a 30 minute turn at a table for each dealer is called) which I'd never heard anyone who wasn't a professional poker dealer use (except me).  I thought he might be a poker dealer but he claimed to have a more normal job and was off for the 3 day weekend.  No one I asked knew him to be a dealer anywhere in town.  
Early on this was clearly the most fun, noisiest, chattiest table on this side of the room.  One dealer even commented that it was such a radical change from the No Limit he just came off of, all dour, sour, dead serious, totally humorless players (I always remembered this comment in my early days of playing No Limit, that’s why I originally thought it was the norm).  He preferred this game for sure.  Anyway early on, Brad was in a hand and Shirley had folded.  Shirley continued having her conversation with Brad as he was thinking about how to play his hand.  In mock protest, Brad loudly said, "Floor, floor, please stop this woman...she's talking to me while I'm in a hand!"  Jim, the dealer first mentioned in this story, was working the floor that night, and was close enough to hear this and came over.  In the meantime, Shirley had quieted down but I noticed her hand was below the table.  And just then Brad said to Jim, "She has her hand on my crotch!"  He was "complaining" about this....but I don't think his heart was really in it.  Jim leaned into Brad and said something that made Brad laughed, but I didn't hear appeared to be a joke about getting a hand job under the table....actually I think Jim may have made a blowjob reference but can't be sure.  I could see Shirley's arm moving fairly rapidly.  I didn't peak under the table but there is no doubt in my mind that Shirley really was rubbing Brad's crotch under the table! 

Well this part of the story had an interesting payoff nine or so months later.  Just a few months ago, while I was in Vegas during the 2012 WSOP, I did indeed see Brad in a poker room--as a dealer.  He was working I room I don't usually frequent and dealing in one of the special events added for the WSOP period.  So I dunno if he works the room regularly or was just brought in for the special event.  But guess who was also working in the room dealing?  Jim, moonlighting from BSC because of the special event.  And while I was saying hello and chatting with Jim, who comes by but Brad to ask Jim a question.  At that point, when I had seen Brad, I wasn't 100% sure he was Brad or just someone who looked like him in my 9 month old memory bank.  So when Brad left, I asked Jim if he remembered Brad ever playing at the BSC.  He said no.  But then he called Brad back over and asked him if he ever played there.  He said yes....sometimes.  Just to get drunk.  With his girlfriend.  And then he explained what he meant.  He likes to get drunk while playing 2/4 limit poker.  So this guy was definitely Brad.
The Vegas poker community is a small world indeed.
Not long after I won a big pot where it was Shirley and me at the showdown.  I had pocket aces and flopped a set.  Now.....recall from the original story Shirley misused the poker term "set" when she exclaimed, "I have a set!" when all she had was trips.  I thought she was intentionally making a double entendre referring to her massive chest.  But maybe not. Because as the dealer pushed me this pot, Shirley said, "I'm still learning poker.  Did he have a 'set'? Or was that trips?  It was a set because he had two in his hand, right?"  The dealer explained that I indeed had a set and that if I had had one ace in my hand and two on the board it would have been "trips". Wow....maybe Shirley wasn't making a dirty joke last time. OTOH, maybe she actually remembered last time, remembered me being there at the time, and it was for my benefit.  But I highly doubt that,
Later an Indian woman (the country India) sat next to him and her husband sat behind her to watch...but maybe also to coach her.  They started speaking to each other in Hindi and Brad protested that they were cheating or colluding.  It was actually hard for me to tell whether or not he was kidding.  But at one point the lady was looking at her cards, her husband said something in Hindi and she folded.  Brad was not kidding when he complained to Jim and the dealer...."They are's English only......he just said, "foldy foldy" in Indian."  It was pretty funny but it was very much inappropriate play if they were communicating. Two poker rules to remember. 1. One player per hand and 2. English only at the table.  They were violating both rules.  
Unlike last time, after about an hour of nonstop bullshitting, both Brad & Shirley got quiet. They actually were pretty silent for a while and then the table started emptying out, as did the was after 2 AM.  I had made a pretty nice comeback at the table and gotten back most of the money I had lost earlier.  So I got up and left.  Before I had a chance to say anything, Brad and Shirley both said good bye to me.....Brad said, "Nice playing with you sir.”
Nice playing with you too, Brad, and of course Shirley.  I assume you enjoyed the handjob under the table.


  1. Robert, the guy in the pic, sitting at the head of the table looks like you.

    1. That's Jack Klugman (Odd Couple, Quincy) circa 1969), Josephine. I could do worse. Thanks.