Sunday, January 20, 2013

Lacy Bras & Burning Ears

Lately, I seem to have a strange effect on women.  It apparently started sometime after I got heavily into poker and more specifically, since I started blogging. 

Now, it’s not exactly the effect on women I would most like to have.  If you need me to explain what that would be, you’re probably too young to be reading this. 
But still, women seem to be doing strange and provocative things when I’m around.  And as I’ve mentioned recently, to some degree, this blog was established to document these things.  Sometimes I just happen to be there when they do these weird things, but other times, it does seem like I might actually be the cause of the unusual behavior.
For example, just recently, a young, very attractive, voluptuous blonde poker blogger from London that I’ve never met proposed marriage to me.  Don’t believe me? Please see Lady Mayliss Boardman’s fine blog here.  Scroll down to the comments section of this post (about her Vegas New Year’s Eve visit, among other things) and you’ll see her proposal.  By the way, if you’re not already aware of Mayliss’s blog, you should be because it is always entertaining. And by the way, when you read that post, you will notice that, unlike me and my short, barely there posts, Mayliss really gives you a respectable-sized, meaty post.  I’ll try to do lengthier posts from now on.
But this is about one of my last night’s in Vegas last month, and some women I’ve mentioned on the blog numerous times before.  It seems there was a charity poker tournament at BSC, one that I did not want to play in because of the structure.  But Prudence was playing in it.  By the time I got over there, the tournament was well under way.
Before I settled into a cash game, I went over to the tournament area to rail a little for Prudence.  We talked for awhile and I noticed that Ginger was dealing at her table.  Ginger, of course, is one of those ladies who seems to act, well, in an interesting manner when I’m around.  I don’t think most of the behavior she’s exhibited previously was actually affected by my presence.  I’m pretty sure it was the alcohol she had been consuming, not my presence, that led her to pretend that she and her pal Isabel were strippers the night that Isabel grabbed Susan’s crotch (see here).  And I don’t think there was anything unique about me that caused her to ask me to give her a ride to Red Rock (see here).  I think she might have made that request of anyone who was sober and had a car. 
But this time it might have been me.  At least I’d like to think so.  Prudence won a nice pot or two while Ginger was dealing, then was pushed out so she could go to her next table in the tournament.  She walked by Prudence as she got up from the table, and thus, walked by me as well.  She of course said hi to me while she and Prudence celebrated the fact that Ginger had “finally” pushed her a big pot.  Apparently Ginger is to Prudence as Michelle is to me (ie, never wins a pot when she’s dealing).
Anyway, part of Ginger’s saying hello to me including her rubbing my arm and shoulder as she walked passed me to get to her next table.  But the table she was assigned to had just broken, and the previous dealer stayed there to clean up, leaving Ginger without a table to go to.  She came back to visit with Prudence and me.  While she was talking to us, standing right next to me, she again started rubbing my shoulder and my arm, then her hand moved lower down my back, and soon she was rubbing my lower back.  Now, unlike Josie—another woman who I may have caused to act strangely, though with her, who’s to say?—Ginger didn’t go below the belt, but she came close.  I mean, if I had rubbed a woman where she rubbed me, I likely would have gotten slapped, or worse.
So is it me?  Maybe.  Or maybe not.  I have noticed that a lot of poker dealers are frequently “physical” with each other.  I think it has to do with the “push”—having to tap the shoulder of the dealer they’re about to replace.  I’ve seen dealers giving their fellow dealers back rubs and neck massages as they are waiting to take over.  This is without regard to gender, I’ve seen guys doing it to guys or girls, and vice versa.  Maybe I’ve spent so much time in this room, Ginger thinks of me as a fellow dealer.
Meanwhile, while talking to Prudence, I had noticed another familiar face at a nearby table. It was my pal Jeanne.  Of all the people I’ve mentioned so far, she’s the second whose real name I’m using (Mayliss is the first), because she outted herself in a comment she made on the first post where I mentioned her.  That was the story of how I was playing a tournament, minding my own business, when Jeanne took a picture of her friend’s Suzie’s cleavage right in front of me at the same tournament table I was at (see here).  Presumably, this was to celebrate “National Cleavage Day.”  Isn’t every day National Cleavage Day? I think it every day should be.  And I say that as a certified expert in cleavage (see here).
Anyway, that incident didn’t seem to have anything to do with me, but I was definitely responsible for the next incident that featured Jeanne & Suzie.  That, of course, was when they pulled down their tops in front of me and then begged—demanded, really—that I take a picture of their now partially exposed breasts.  That story can be found here. 
Oddly enough, the last time I’d seen Jeanne and Suzie together, I almost took another picture of them…yes, that kind of picture.  I ran into them at the Orleans where Suzie runs the tournaments.  Jeanne was playing and they were chatting.  I went over to say hi. I wasn’t just being sociable.  I wanted to tell Suzie that I was writing for AnteUp Magazine now, in case she ever had something that would be good item for my column.
Jeanne of course said hello, but neither of us were sure if Suzie would remember who I was.  When she introduced me, Jeanne asked Suzie if she knew who I was.  She said, “Yes. He’s the man who took pictures of our chests.”
When I told them that I was working for Ante Up, Jeanne asked if they (she and Suzie) were going to be in the magazine.  I believe she was referring to her and Suzie’s cleavage.  I laughed and said no, not that way, but I was always looking for something poker related, and I gave my card to Suzie so she could contact me if she ever had a story.  Then Jeanne stood up and tried to pose with Suzie for me to take another picture.  And I’m pretty sure it would have been that kind of picture.  That must be me, right?  Or maybe she wanted to have her cleavage appear in a national poker magazine?  But Suzie demurred, saying she was having a bad hair day.
Anyway, I was still talking to Prudence but trying to see if I could make eye contact with Jeanne.  I did not.  But after I left Prudence and wished her luck, I went over to say hi to Jeanne.  To my surprise, she said she had noticed me and had tried to get my attention to say hi to me.  “But I didn’t know how to get your attention.  I mean, other than to flash you.”
I laughed and said, “And you’ve already done that.”
Now as it happens, Jeanne was sitting next to a woman, a woman I’d never seen before in my life.  For some reason, Jeanne misinterpreted what I said and thought I was saying that the woman next to her had flashed me.  Of course, I meant no such thing.  But Jeanne said to the lady, “You flashed him?”
The poor woman was both startled and embarrassed.  She of course denied it and I immediately corrected Jeanne, explaining that I was referring to her, not the stranger next to her.   The woman was relieved, and Jeanne laughed and acknowledged that I was right.  I wished her luck in the tournament and headed for a cash game.
The next part of the story I didn’t witness, but I have a reliable source, Prudence.  And besides, this story explains the burning sensation in my ears while I was playing that cash game.  When I was talking to Prudence, I pointed out Jeanne to her.  Now, I’ve mentioned many times what a small world the Vegas poker community is.  So it was surprising that Prudence and Jeanne had never met.  Prudence not only knew of Jeanne from my blog, but they actually have another “connection” in common, which I won’t divulge here to protect identities.  Suffice it to say, Prudence and Jeanne should have known each other before this. And of course, even if I hadn’t pointed her out to her, Prudence would have recognized Jeanne from her picture being on my blog.
Prudence and Jeanne both did well in the tournament and ended up at the final table, sitting right next to each other.  Jeanne didn’t know Prudence at all, but Prudence introduced herself to Jeanne, using her real name, of course, and said she followed her on Twitter.  She brought up their other connection—the one not involving me.  They discussed that and then Prudence turned to their other connection…..yours truly.
“Plus, you know my good friend Rob.”
Jeanne was (apparently) excited to hear that.  “Oh you know Rob?  He’s great.”  (I’m not sure if she really said I was “great”, or if I was actually told that, but that’s the way it plays back in my memory…and after all, this is my blog, so…..)
Then, Prudence whispered to Jeanne, “And oh, by the way, I’m Prudence.”
Apparently, Jeanne was both excited and surprised to hear this.  “You’re Prudence?!”
Damn, I wished I’d seen the expression on Jeanne’s face.  Anyway, Prudence confirmed that indeed she was the Prudence from this very blog.  I should note that Prudence was drinking on this night, quite a bit actually, and was no doubt acting very “Prudency”, so it shouldn’t really have been much of a surprise.
And because she was indeed Prudence on this night, she commented to Jeanne, “You know, it’s funny that we never met before, inasmuch as I’ve seen your boobies.”
Jeanne acknowledged that she had, and then, pulled down her shirt for Prudence and showed off her lacy bra to her—right there at the poker tournament table. As Prudence later reported, she saw Jeanne’s "lace-covered tata’s."
Now, even though I wasn’t there, I know was responsible for that. A woman flashing another woman in the poker room?  Yeah, I caused that.
The good news is that both Jeanne and Prudence cashed in the tournament.  It’s not really surprising that Prudence did so well even though she had been drinking.  As I reported here, she plays better when she’s drunk.
Later, she played cash in a 2/5 game with Grange, who, as I reported earlier, was in town for a few days.  I’m pretty sure the only reason he was in Vegas was to inspire me to play the 6-3, ie, The Spanish Inquisition, the next night.  Grange had a good night at the tables, and confirmed a rumor I heard about his getting twin lap dances for his birthday at last year’s WPBT from the same ladies who provided the girl on girl action I wrote about here.  He went on to say that if a straight man could successfully convince people he was gay, there might be no limit to the action he’d get—from the ladies, that is.  We thought that might be a good concept for a sitcom.  I suggested that was sort of—but not quite—the idea behind Three’s Company, but in that case, only Mr. Roper had to be convinced Jack was gay, the girls knew he was not.
Hmm…..based on that premise, I wonder if I could convince women I’m gay?  I don’t really like breasts at all, you know.  It’s just schtick. 
Speaking of which… one point while Prudence was playing, she needed more chips, and the female dealer who was actually playing at the seat next to her, was kind enough to get them for her.  The chips came in one of those portable chip racks.  Prudence took the chips out of the rack and now had to dispose of the empty rack.  Since I was just a spectator, I thought I’d be a gentleman and remove the empty rack from the table for her.
I started to reach for it and said to Prudence, “Mind if I grab your rack?” Both Prudence and the lady dealer just laughed.  I honestly don’t know what came over me, making a risqué comment like that.  I guess in this instance, it was all the women I’d encountered this evening that were having an effect on me.


  1. Rob, Agreed, this (see below) does NOT happen to the rest of us while playing at Vegas tables. Wow. I think you should send an email to Jeannie saying that you TOO want to see those "lace-covered tata’s."

    And because she was indeed Prudence on this night, she commented to Jeanne, “You know, it’s funny that we never met before, inasmuch as I’ve seen your boobies.”
    Jeanne acknowledged that she had, and then, pulled down her shirt for Prudence and showed off her lacy bra to her—right there at the poker tournament table. As Prudence later reported, she saw Jeanne’s "lace-covered tata’s."

  2. Grange is the boy I would have had a crush on in high school, only to find out later that he's gay. Then I'd wonder for months how someone so cute could be so nice and sweet and never tell me I was fat. Then I'd learn there was a name for me: fag hag.

    And yes, I gathered all this from a single non-conversation while I was blackout-level drunk.

    1. I think you may be at your most perceptive when you're blackout-level drunk.

    2. Prudence, once you found out I was gay, we would have had a great time making catty remarks about poker players while taking their chippies. Also, we would have flirted with the cute guy dealers, trying to figure out which ones played for which teams. And no, you are most certainly NOT fat!

    3. Thanks, Grange. The idea of the two of you flirting with the same guys is amusing. Oh well, there's always next time!