Sunday, December 15, 2013

"....So You Can Rub Against My Boobs"

It's always nice to finally meet one of my loyal blog readers.  It might not always be so much fun actually playing poker with them, as I reported here.  But it’s always nice to meet them.

Readers of this blog and many others on my blogroll are no doubt familiar with Nick.  He comments under the name “Cokeboy99.”  He also is on the AVP forums under the same name.  I would refer to him as Cokeboy in this post but he seems to prefer “Nick” these days.  I guess he switched to Pepsi.  Also, having met him, I can assure you, he is no “boy.”  Not that I’m one to talk.

So a few days before this story took place, I got an email from Nick asking if I would still be in Vegas in a few days, when he was scheduled to arrive.  Yes, I would be.  He mentioned that he wanted to play at MGM that coming Monday, for at least a couple of reasons.  He had never played in the room before, and he also was interested in their Monday Night Football promo (which I talked about here). 

I arrived a bit after he did and I noticed immediately from his not-really-green “Beer Hunter” sweatshirt (which he had warned me he would be wearing).  I joined his table, which was in the process of getting started.  Rather than introduce myself, I reached out my hand and said, “Why aren’t you wearing a “Cokeboy” shirt instead?

Nick and I played at the same table all evening.  During that time, I saw him get the dreaded pocket Kings approximately 750 times.  And he won with them every single time.  I got them exactly once, and of course lost. 

I raised to $10 preflop with them and only had one caller.  My flop bet was called.  I just checked the turn on a scary board, lots of high cards, a straight very possible.  The river put four cards to a straight out there.  I figured I was beat but I called a small bet on the river.  He didn’t have the straight.  He had two pair, which is one more than I had.  I folded without showing but asked Nick what he thought I had.  He whispered “pocket Kings” and I nodded. 

A few hands later, Nick won a pot.  I think he had made a bet—not sure what street—and wasn’t called.  However, he flipped over his cards even though he didn’t have to.  The reason was that he had pocket Kings, of course.   He wanted to rub it in! 

Early in the evening I felt a hand rubbing against my right side, near my back.  I quickly looked up and was surprised that there was a beautiful blonde girl standing over me who had just pawed me.  It was Alicia.

You all remember Alicia, right?  She’s the awesome poker player I introduced you to in the post here (where I called her “Veronica”).  And earlier this year, I sold an article about her for Adanai magazine (see here).  This was the first time I’d seen her since my article was published.

Alicia was in town for a quick visit and she and her boyfriend were hitting the MGM poker room for a few hours waiting for a show across the street.  She eventually joined our table and played with us.  As she noted, I was doing better than the last time I played with her (see here).

I actually took a few small pots from Alicia.  I think in both cases it was when I called her small raises in position with weak holdings—suited connectors or gapers.  I wouldn’t ordinarily call raises with such hands but because of MGM’s cash drawing promo, I find myself playing suited cards more often, trying to win a ticket into the drawing.  And I think I got lucky a few times with them against Alicia.  She definitely noticed and probably thinks I’m even a worse player than I was the first time we played together.  At least one of those times I did indeed catch a flush. 

When Alicia came by I had introduced her to Nick as the great poker player I had written about.  Alicia thinks she’ll be playing in more WSOP events next year and it is her goal to be the first female at the final table of the Main Event since 1995 (the only time it happened).   I wouldn’t bet against her doing it, though it will be tough since she isn’t playing full time anymore.

When Alicia sat down, on the other side of the table from Nick and me, she noticed me fiddling with my cell phone.  I think I was sending a text.  She shouted, “Rob, are you blogging?”  Nick and I both cracked up.  So did the dealer, Brent, who knows about the blog.  So I explained to Brent that I had written an article about Alicia and what a great player she was.  Alicia remembered Brent from her days grinding at the MGM years ago.

Nick and Alicia got into a hand together.  The board was Queen high, and Nick, who had raised preflop, shoved a relatively small stack either on the turn or the river.  Alicia thought about it for awhile and finally called even though she didn’t seem very confident.  It was just that Nick’s bet wasn’t big enough to get her to fold her top pair hand.  She was worried about her kicker, but Nick didn’t have a Queen.  No, he once again had the dreaded pocket kings.  So he took the pot.  Damn him.  He won a pot from the best poker player I’ve ever played against with my personal Kryptonite hand.  In all seriousness, I think he won 4 times with KK and showed them to me every time.  However, I think two of those times no one had called him preflop.

Nick was not enjoying the football game.  Not only did he not get picked for the football drawing (nor did I), but he had bet the game and it wasn’t going well.  This was the Seattle-New Orleans game.  He had bet both that Seattle would cover and the over on the points.  Seattle won easily but both teams forgot to even try to score in the second half.  So he lost his parlay.  Plus, no scoring meant less chances for either of us to get picked for the football drawings. So we all lost.

A bit of the football game ended, I decided to call it a night.  I had made a (very) bucks, but after a full weekend of poker, I was tired and wanted to make it an early evening.  I picked up my chips and Nick decided to move on as well.  I was carrying my rack of $200+ in redbirds and a nearly full glass of diet coke that had just been delivered to me.  And then I recognized a woman playing at another table as I headed to the cashier.

For reasons that will soon become apparent, I have to be careful as to how I identify this particular poker player.  It might just be that she is a woman who has earned a mention or two on this very blog.  It might be that she has been identified on the blog with either one of my famous “blog pseudonyms” or perhaps even her real name.  Those things might all be true….or they might not be true.

One thing that is definitely true is that she is familiar with my blog.  And further, she is also aware of my (totally undeserved) reputation of being “obsessed with bosoms.”

I guess it will be easier if I give this lady a blog pseudonym to use for this post.  So we are going to call her Alexandra.  I stood behind Alexandra and waited for her to be out of a hand.  Then I called out her name.  She turned and looked at me.  I wasn’t sure if she recognized me instantly, which didn’t surprise me.  But then I said, “Hi, it’s Rob,” and I mentioned a person we both know who would help her place me. And then she knew exactly who I was and how she knew me.

I could see the light bulb go off and she leaped up to greet me.  Suddenly she was acting like I was a long lost brother that she hadn’t seen in ages.  She actually moved in to give me a hug, but then held back, noticing that both my hands were full.  “I was gonna hug you but you’re carrying too much stuff.”  I was a bit surprised she wanted to give me a hug.  We really haven’t had that much contact over the years.  I don’t know her very well at all.

So we stood there and chatted for quite a long time.  At one point, I put my rack of chips and my drink down at the empty table nearby.  Finally, we were in the process of wrapping things up.

And then she said to me, "Well, since you put your stuff down, I might as well give you that hug so you can rub against my boobs."  Before I had a chance to react, she was hugging me.  And when we separated, she said, "I mean, since I know you're a boobs man."

In case you missed it, here was a woman who wanted me to rub against her boobs.

I laughed. But then she said, "Oh, don't put that in your blog.  You put everything in your blog.  Don't put that in."

I chuckled at that and said no problem.  I told her I would always obey a request not to blog something.  

Then she said, "Oh, I guess you can put it in there if you don't use my name.  Don't say it was me."

And thus, “Alexandra” was born.  I do have to admit, it would be a better story if I could reveal Alexandra’s true identity.  But I am a gentleman, and a man of my word.  So of course I will honor my promise.  Hopefully it is still amusing as told.

As for Nick, I said goodbye to him for the evening, but that’s not the last you’ll hear about him. Nick and his magical touch with the dreaded pocket Kings will return in a future post.

Edited to add, and that post is now up and can be found here. 


  1. I'm famous!! :-) Rob, it was great meeting you and playing a couple of sessions with you. While my overall results weren't great at the MGM, their promo was fun and entertaining.

    Also, I hope you know I wasn't trying to brag every time I showed you the dreaded pocket kings, merely showing that they can be a winning hand, and that I was running way above expectations simply in the amount of times they showed up in my hand.

    I still can't believe that game didn't go over....heck, only 7 more points for a push!! At least the bet I made on Seattle minus the points came in.

    The next session we played was much more profitable and enjoyable for me...I'll be waiting eagerly for that post as well!!

    1. Great meeting you too Nick. I'm working on the follow up session right now. You will love it, I assure you.

      Yeah, I know you weren't really bragging about the Kings, if the situation was reversed, I would have done the exact same thing you did, based on my history with the dreaded KK.

  2. Maybe Nick and I ought to play together at Par-A-Dice over the holiday season so that he can teach me how to play pocket Kings. Or would I find out that he is only a Kings pretender? : o )

    1. I don't know if he can pass on his magic touch with the dreaded hand, especially how he can get dealt them so often. Who gets KK four times in a less than 4 hour session?

      Wait to you see the follow up.

  3. were the boobies built 4 comfort or speed? lmao.

    1. All I can say is I'm pretty sure they are God-given, and not the other kind.

    2. saline is god given. so is silicone

    3. god given to Earth. Not to the woman.