Thursday, August 4, 2016

Buck Naked's Excellent Pahrump Adventure (Guest Post)

Remember Buck Naked (see here) and his adventures playing poker and visiting a strip club? Well, he promised “more later” and he’s back with more details.  Recall that he left the strip club with his buddies to head to Pahrump, home of legal brothels.  Take it away, Buck…..

As we made our hasty exit from the Rhino, back out into the blazing sunlight, we had to immediately don our sunglasses, so we could see to exit the parking lot in our rental car, without taking out a few of the other vehicles scattered about.  

I would have much preferred taking Uber or even a taxi at this point, but I was not driving, so I piled into the back seat and buckled up for the ride out into the desert for our "real deal" research mission.

We jumped on the I-15 south, exited onto Blue Diamond, and headed west towards Pahrump. We soon made our first stop at a convenience store for more beverages, so we could maintain our buzz while en route, excluding the driver, of course. 

I did have to constantly remind our eager/young driver to slow down so we could make it there alive and without being detained by the po-po.

Upon arriving at Pahrump without incident, we made a left onto Gamebird trail, and saw jack rabbits hopping around in the road every 100 yards or so.

At this point we all popped the little blue pills, not that we needed them, for an additional confidence boost to go along with the downing of our of "liquid courage" beverages.

We took a left at the 4-way stop and were on the home stretch. About four miles further, after passing a Terrible’s Casino, we made it to the desert fantasy oasis.  There are actually two establishments right next to each other at the end of this road.  

We chose to enter the bigger of the two spots, and upon walking into a sports bar area, we were met by several ladies wearing nighties/bedroom type apparel.  We took seats at the bar and ordered more drinks, with the ladies chatting us up. 

At this point the Madam came to us and asked if we would like to have a "line up" or just continue talking with the ladies at the bar for awhile. We chose to hang with the ladies at the bar. She also gave us a few rules of the establishment: no cell phones and no discussion of prices or services in the sports bar area. She told us that each lady was an independent contractor and could discuss services only in their rooms. She also told us that patrons who seemed too intoxicated would be asked to leave, so we had to slow our beverage roll a bit, though we were encouraged to buy drinks for the ladies.

The variety of ladies here was diverse, to say the least. They really had every type and shape imaginable—tall, short, slim, not so slim, big boobs, small boobs, some with Kardashian asses, some a bit lacking in that area, some were top shelf beauties, some average, but none were butt-ugly or obese.

I personally talked with at least one of each—Asian, American (white and black), Latin, Russian, South African, and Australian. They were from all over the planet; and all eager to discuss services in their rooms. 

We were offered complimentary tours of the property, which included rooms with varying themes, Jacuzzi, dungeon, jungle room, orgy room, etc. We also found out these rooms came at a premium cost. 

Each girl had their own room, and this is where the real negotiating occurred. I took the tour with a tall blonde from Cali, with very nice perky boobs and a bubble booty. We stopped by her room and had a seat on her sofa to chat and get down to the reason why we were there. She was very friendly and asked me what my pleasure was, what i had in mind, and what I was working with. I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant by "what I’m working with" but I finally determined she meant my "party" budget.

This is where my negotiation skills came into play.  I gave her a $ number and she countered with something much higher. So, I told her I was a poker player, was having a terrible losing trip and didn’t have much left to spend, even though she was well worth more than what I could offer.

I gave her a sad puppy face and told her I had come all the way out here only to be sadly disappointed that I couldn't provide the funds she requested. I mentioned to her this was my first time here (not true), and that I really wouldn’t take much time, so we finally came to a mutual satisfactory agreement.

She collected the funds, performed a necessary personal inspection, then covered the bedding with a fresh sheet, and left the room to take funds to the business office, telling me to make myself comfortable on the bed.

When she arrived back at the room, with a fresh complimentary beverage for me, she asked if I would like to shower with her. My response was “hellz yeah!”  After a refreshing and "uplifting" shower, we made it to the bed.

I really do not want to go into specifics here, in case you decide to publish this, but lets' just say i left the room with rosy cheeks, weak knees, no tension at all, and had a big satisfied smile on my face.

On the way back to the sports bar, she did ask me to bring more $$ next time. We stopped at the parlor and I had to take a seat and wait for the Madam so I could give her my evaluation of the girl and my experience with her.  My response was that she was "fabulous!!", and as Anger would say, the experience was “AAAA+++++".

Met my buds back at the bar, where they all sported shit-eating grins and were laughing it up, insisting that we were coming back the next night.  So off we headed, back to Vegas......

On that long desert highway, in the middle of the night, something unfortunate did happen....

More later...........

Oh no!  Other than to say “thanks, Buck!” and say we all look forward to another chapter in this saga, I really don’t have anything to add!

(EDITED TO ADD: The final part of Buck's trilogy is now available for your reading pleasure and can be found here).


  1. Actually, I do have one comment, Buck.

    Are you aware there's a poker room in Pahrump? You could have indulged in two of your favorite hobbies, back-to-back!

  2. there used to be 2. theres $1 VBJ too but not the good one

  3. For all the crap I give you about long posts ... the Buck Naked posts are not long enough. More! lol

    1. I agree. In fact, I have another post from Buck coming soon. It's not as salacious but it's definitely a hoot.

  4. The retired East Germany Olympic shotputter chick in the pink bikini would be the perfect mate for TBC!

    1. I you think she kisses on the lips?

  5. obviously, Buck must love poker and the Ladies; without the usual baggage and strings attached.
    Poker & p***y degen... my kind of guy..

    Big L

    1. I believe you're right, Big L.

      But he should have hit that poker room on the way out of town!

  6. "Dear Penthouse, you're not gonna believe what happened when me and my friends went to Vegas."