Wednesday, December 7, 2016

"You See What You Get for $100?"

Just the other day, I happened to remember an old Vegas story that I never blogged.  Even better, it is a hooker story.

However, it isn’t my story. It was related to me by a former co-worker.  So I checked my really old emails to see if I had emailed the story my friends long ago, so I would get the details right.  Well, not only had I indeed done just that, but I discovered another Vegas story in a separate email from the same source—one I had completely forgotten about--that is also worth telling.  Not a hooker story, but still entertaining, I think.  Finally, I did remember another hooker story tangentially related to this same person that is also worth reporting.

These stories took place close to 10 years ago. They go back to my days working the 9-to-5 grind (though for me it was more like 7:30 to 6:00).  Back then I was working for a really, really big company.  Well, to be more accurate, I was working for a moderately big company that had been bought out by a really, really big company and was now a subsidiary of said giant company.  That buy-out had happened a few years before I was hired.

Most of my career I was in middle-management.  For this company, I was managing a department of 8 people (not counting myself).  There had been a lot of turnover (including my predecessor) and I had to hire a bunch of people.  The last of my original hires to staff up was a very young fellow I’m going to call Edgar.

Edgar was like 22, 23 when I hired him and he was a real go-getter.  He was very green, hadn’t had much experience in the corporate world (and this was very much the corporate world).  In fact, he started as a temp and had impressed me enough that I decided to bring him on full-time.

I was very much his mentor.  He had a lot to learn about being a professional.  Fortunately, he had a great can-do attitude and was a fast learner.  I was also kind of his mentor when it came to life in general.  I recall one time he came to me bewildered because he had played a little April Fools Day joke on his then-girlfriend and it had a really bad result.  He thought it would be funny if he texted her that he was breaking up with her, even though he had no intention of actually doing so.  He couldn’t figure out why didn’t laugh hysterically when he said “April Fools!”

I said to him, “Edgar, have you actually met a woman before?”  I must have given him some good advice as to what to do, because they patched things up—at least for the time being.  I believe by the time he and I parted ways, he had become engaged to another girl.  I’m pretty he sure he married her and now has at least one kid.

Anyway, it didn’t take long for Edgar to find out that I was spending all my time off in Vegas.  Edgar had lived in L.A. all his life but had never been there.  So he was constantly asking me for Vegas information, for tips and recommendations.  He planned many trips there that he had to cancel for one reason or another.  But he always got me to “approve” his choice of hotels when he booked them.

He was barely passed drinking age but he definitely had a fondness for demon rum.  He heard a rumor and asked me to confirm it.  “Is it really legal for people to be walking the street in Vegas while carrying an open drink?”

I said, “Edgar, it’s not only legal, it’s required.  You can actually get a citation if you’re caught walking down the Vegas Strip without at least a beer in your hand.”  I think he believed me for at least half a second.

Finally, after many false starts, he did indeed make it to Vegas. I think what finally got him there was a story he heard from a friend of his about a friend of that friend.  Supposedly, this guy had called one of those “escort” agencies and ordered a girl to come to his room.  The escort took care of the guy’s needs for $400.  What makes the story more noteworthy was that supposedly, this guy’s roommate (male), was in the bed right next to them the entire time this, um, transaction was taking place.

Anyway, not sure if Edgar had a girlfriend when he finally made it there but this was a guys weekend.  He went with a co-worker (from another department, not mine), that co-worker’s buddy (who was supposedly a cop) and Edgar’s cousin.  The cousin was Edgar’s age and the other guys were a few years older.

So Edgar came back with this story.  One night, the other two went to bed (they were all sharing one room) and Edgar and his cousin were walking the Strip near the Flamingo (they were staying at the Mirage).  It was like 2-3 in the morning.  And they encountered just a ton of streetwalkers.  I see lots of working girls inside the casinos, but rarely find them on the Strip these days.  But then, I’m not usually walking on the Strip that late (or should I say, that early?).

Edgar reported that none of the ladies he encountered were even remotely attractive.  They were not at all tempting.  They ignored them all for awhile, just blowing them off (so-to-speak) until Edgar couldn’t help himself.  He had to find out how much such a girl would charge for her services.

When a girl he thought was particularly unattractive approached him, he boldly asked, “How much?”

The girl said that it depends, but it is usually around $150-$200.

Edgar decided to negotiate.  He told the girl that this was his first time in Vegas.  Then he said, “Look, I’m young.  I’m good looking….can you give me a discount?”  The girl laughed and then said, “OK, for you, $100.”

According to Edgar, he said to her, “Oh that’s great.  But I’m gonna pass.”  And then he and his cousin walked away from her.

When he told me that story, I told him that was a very dangerous thing to do, negotiate with a hooker and then stiff her like that.  I told him he could have gotten the crap beaten out of him by her pimp (Edgar was not a big guy by any means).  I also called him a “hook-tease.”

However, Edgar was very proud of himself.  He thought the experience of negotiating with a hooker and talking her down was well worth it.  I asked again how she looked.  He insisted she was “butt-ugly.”

I said, “You see what you get for a hundred dollars?”

Well, Edgar fell in love with Vegas that first trip.  It wasn’t long before he asked me if he could leave early one Friday afternoon for another trip to Vegas. This time he was taking two friends from high school for their first visit to Vegas.  One of them was actually turning 21 so it seemed like an appropriate thing to do.  The other buddy was slightly older and Edgar was the old man of the trio at almost 23.

Edgar was just supposed to miss half of Friday and return to work on Monday.  But when I got in Monday morning, there was a voice mail message from Edgar, left at 1:30AM that morning.  He apologized for not being able to come to work that day as planned.  He said it was after midnight and he was still in Vegas.  And the birthday boy had gotten himself arrested for public intoxication. Also, he had punched somebody. He was still in jail, and they had to wait 12 hours for him to sober up so they would release him.

On Tuesday, Edgar did indeed show up for work on time.  And he told me the whole story—or at least the part of the story that he was willing to tell his boss.  It seems that on Saturday night the three of them went to Pure Nightclub at Caesars (that’s the old nightclub that was right next to the poker room, since replaced by Omnia, which is where the old poker room was). Edgar insisted that he didn’t have a single drink there but his youngest pal did indeed indulge and got completely hammered.  When they left the club, they were outside by the taxi area.  There, the three of them encountered a group of folks, both male and female, approximately the same age. 

Well the drunk birthday boy started flirting with one of the girls in the other group.  Apparently they had met previously inside the club.  The girl was fine with this but a couple of her male companions were not thrilled.  At one point, Edgar’s birthday boy pal got “physical” with the girl (he never gave me any more detail than that).  The girl didn’t object but her friends did.  One of them shoved the birthday boy. At that point, Edgar tried to grab his friend to get him the hell out of there.  But it was too late.  Edgar wasn’t sure who threw the first punch, but punches were thrown and some of them indeed made contact. 

It didn’t last very long.  Caesars’ security showed up almost immediately and broke it up.  The cops were called and showed up pronto.  Statements were given. Two of the guys from the other group, along with Edgar and his two pals, were taken to the nearest police station.  They interviewed the girl involved and she said she was not willing to press charges against Edgar’s buddy.  So, no charges were actually charged against anyone except the birthday boy, and it was only for public intoxication since he was drunk out of his mind.  Thus they had to wait 12 hours until the police would let him go.  He had a court date two and a half months later he had to return to Vegas for. 

I had to ask…what did the girl look like?  Was she worth it?  Edgar insisted that she wasn’t at all attractive.  In fact, on the ride back to L.A., Edgar and his other buddy spent the entire time teasing the hell out of the birthday boy for getting arrested over such an unattractive chick!  Of course, he was totally shit-faced at the time.

When Edgar first told me the story, the timing of it didn’t make sense.  If this happened Saturday night, he still could have made it back to town in time to make it into work on Monday.  When I pointed this out to Edgar, he confessed that he had told me a little fib.  That story actually took place Sunday night, not Saturday night.  It seems on Sunday, after they checked out of their room at the Wynn, they decided to go to the club first instead of hitting the road.  That’s why Edgar didn’t drink.  The plan was for him to drive the other two home in the middle of night (Sunday night, or really Monday morning).  Basically he planned on showing up Monday morning not having any sleep at all.  Thus, he was reluctant to tell me the truth.

In reality, when Edgar and his other pal were released from the police station at 2AM Sunday night/Monday morning, they checked into the Imperial Palace (now The Linq) and crashed there until they could pick up their friend Monday afternoon.

 There’s one other somewhat relevant story I remember from my days working with Edgar. It doesn’t have anything to do with Vegas, but you’ll see it is somewhat related.

During this period, former basketball great Charles Barkley was arrested for a DUI.  You probably remember.  I’m too lazy to look up the details, but if memory serves, he was driving his car in a bad section of town (I think it was Philadelphia, but not sure) and had picked up a streetwalker, ran a stop sign and then was stopped by a cop who realized he was intoxicated.

Anyway, this was all over the news and on some website (and I have no idea if this is reliable or not), they quoted Barkley explaining to the cop why he ran the stop. He said that he was going around the corner so the girl could give him a blowjob.  Then he explained to the cop that he had met with the girl the week before and she had given him the best blowjob he'd ever gotten in his life.

Well, when Edgar brought up Barkley’s arrest, I couldn’t help telling him this juicy piece of gossip.  And after I told him Barkley’s supposed excuse for his running the stop sign, Edgar replied.  “Oh wow.  And they still arrested him?”


  1. I think the Charles Barkley story actually happened in Scottsdale, or at least, a very similar incident occurred there.

    1. Thanks, Anony. Very well could have been. I don't think there was more than one such incident, so if you remember Scottsdale, let's go with Scottsdale.