Sunday, January 18, 2015

Kissing, Motorboating, And a Little Poker at the WPBT

I needed to be in Vegas in early December to play the WPBT Winter Classic, an event I played in for the third straight year.  My previous reports on this event can be found here and here.  In the first one, I reported on some excellent girl-on-girl smooching, and in the second one, I reported on personally cashing in the event, so you might want to take the time to refresh your memory by reading those two posts.

WPBT stands for “World Poker Bloggers Tour” and the first post I linked to above explains everything you need to know about it.

Before I get to it, I just want to say that, as usual for this event, I will be using “real names.”  At least real in the sense that I will be using people’s real Twitter or Blogging handles.  Ordinarily when I tell stories like this one, I would come up with my own pseudonyms.  But these events took place in full view of my fellow bloggers (or semi-retired bloggers, who are now mostly Tweeters), so it would be silly to assign them phony names.  Besides, by now, everyone knows the types of posts I do.  They knew who I am.  They know I was there.  They had ample opportunity to ask me not to blog about any specific events I witnessed and did not do so.  So I figured I have at least implied consent to tell this story in my own perverted unique way.  Note:  If ever anyone asks me not to blog about something I’ve heard or witnessed, I will always honor that request.  I have done so numerous times.

I arrived at the Aria a bit before the scheduled 11AM starting time.  I immediately found Lightning, who has already reported on this event in the post here.  But I should warn you, his post is mostly about the poker. This post is mostly not about poker.

Lightning had been in town for a day or two, same as me, but this was the first time we had gotten together this time.  We had agreed to be “last longer” partners.  I’m not sure which one of us got the worst of that deal.  Probably both of us.

Lightning was talking to yestbay who was running the last-longer pool.  I greeted him and gave him my $10, which I will never see again.  We had a nice little chat and then Lightning introduced me to AgSweep, a long-time member of the TBC inner-circle.  We had a really nice, all too short conversation.  Part of the conversation consisted of AgSweep telling us about some of the things she’s done to help Tony in the past.  Part of the conversation concerned her telling me that she likes my blog (this was my favorite part).  She said she even liked my Slut Parade posts, and the slut parade itself.  AgSweep said she is amused watching the girls trying to—and so often failing to—successfully walk in the very high heels they are wearing.  She thinks it’s ridiculous that the girls don’t bother learning how to walk in those shoes if they are going to wear them. She also mentioned that her son likes the Slut Parade, but I suspect his reasons have little to do with the girls’ shoes.  And to be honest, she did mention that she sometimes doesn’t read all the way through my posts.  Which is weird, because I’ve never heard that before.

Another person I talked to briefly before things began was Numbono.  It turned out that, for the first time in three years, we were not at the same starting table.  It was Numbono who gave me the title of last year’s post about the event.

The hosts of this event were PokerVixen and CK, same as last year.  Both these wonderful ladies are vital members of the Vegas poker community and just as they did the previous year, they did a fantastic job organizing the event.  Before the tournament started, I was able to chat briefly with both and CK even greeted me with a hug.  During the tournament she referred to me at least once as “robvegaspoker.”

That was nice, but what was not-so-nice was that CK was assigned to the seat directly to my left.  Nothing personal against her, it’s just that I know from both experience and reputation she is a very tough poker player.  Her nickname is “The Black Widow of Poker” and she’s earned it.

On top of that, PokerVixen was also at my table.  She too is an excellent player.  I thought it was weird that the two organizers were assigned to the same table, but it was just random.  Also at my table was Grange, the third straight year I had the misfortune to be at the same starting table as him.  Misfortune that is, only because he’s such a damn good poker player. 

I tweeted out my table and seat number in case there was anyone there that wanted to meet me (yes, there actually are people who want to meet me).  I also tweeted out about my table mates.

One response came from JacqMinx, who I’ve been tweeting back and forth with for some time, but whom I had never met.  I don’t think she’s ever commented on the blog but I know she has read it based on some the tweets she’s sent me.

Remember the girl Didi, who pulled down her shirt to expose her purple bra?  Of course you do, but if you need a reminder you can find it here. Within minutes of her pulling down her top, I sent out a tweet telling all my followers that she had done it. When she pulled down her shirt, she announced that she had big tits, and that was definitely one time a poker player was not bluffing.  Of course, I mentioned in my tweet this announcement of hers.

Almost immediately I got a tweet back from JacqMinx, “It wasn’t me!”

That may have been my first real interaction with her so I was a bit surprised, but I tweeted back to her, “Why the heck not?”

She responded, “I don’t have a purple bra.  Give new meaning to ‘deal to the stack, not the rack!’”

My kind of woman, obviously, even if I had never heard that particular expression before.

Last summer I did a post (with pics) about “The Devil Girl of Fremont Street” (see here).  Soon after it was live, JacqMinx tweeted to me, “this was not the ‘Devil’ I was expecting.  38DDD was the one I saw.  Lol.”

See why I wanted to meet her?  (BTW, I never did find the Devil girl she was talking about).

Anyway, she tweeted at me that I was at a tough table and told me her table number.  The tournament had already started and she had her back to me; I was only able to see the back of head.  But I did catch up to her during the break and we had time for a nice little chat (both of us saying, “nice to finally meet you in person” at practically the same time).

The tournament started and the conversation was flowing.  CK was talking about how, in high school and/or college, she was in the Theater Arts program and had done some acting.  One of the guys at the table (someone I couldn’t identify) rudely asked if she had ever tried porn.

She said no. “I got no boobs.”  She grabbed her chest when she said this. “They like the big, inflated boobs,” explaining why she couldn’t do porn.

I’m not sure if the porn discussion was the lead in, but soon someone mentioned the subject of girl-on-girl action.  And CK said, rather matter-of-factly, “Yeah, I’ve done that before.  At this tournament in fact.” She was of course referring to the kissing display with another woman that I talked about in very first post I linked to above.

To which PokerVixen, looking directly at me, responded, “Yeah, and then Rob writes a blog about it.”

Around this time, I started hear the expression “sister-wife” coming from CK.  One of her “sister-wives” was Michelle, her accomplice from two years ago.  But she was now talking about sister-wife #2.  Sister-wife #2 was obviously at this very event (unlike Michelle).  And lo and behold, it turned out that it was none-other-than JacqMinx! Actually, I think CK indicated that JackMinx was going to be sister-wife #2.  And it seemed like we were all about to witness the initiation.

At this point, we must have been past the first break, because JacqMinx’s table had broken and she had moved to the same table as Lightning.  Suddenly, at a moment when CK was out of a hand, she got up, went over to JacqMinx, and kissed her right on the lips.  Needless to say, this got the attention of pretty much everyone in the room. 

A little later, I noticed JacqMinx’s tweet to CK.  “the convo at my table is about makeout sessions with you.”  To which CK tweeted back, “now it is all about us!”

Of course, I couldn’t let this go by without a comment, so I tweeted back to both of them, “Details coming soon to a blog post near you. Thanks, ladies.”

Ok, so it’s not exactly “soon.”  Sorry.  But JacqMinx favorited my tweet, so I can only assume she is has been eagerly waiting for this blogpost for all this time.

When I caught up to her again, after I busted, JacqMinx told me she was surprised. “I didn’t give any tongue, but CK did.”

Speaking of busting, I guess I should get to the actual poker, since it won’t take very long. But don’t worry, we’ll get back to the girl-on-girl action before this is over, trust me.

First level (25/50) I called PokerVixen’s raise to $150 with Ace-Queen. I think it was three-handed.  The flop was King-high.  She bet $250 and I called.  The turn was a blank and we both checked.  The river was a Queen and we both checked.  She turned over pocket Jacks and when she saw that I had rivered her, she said, “Aww, I should have bet.”

Against another player I hit a set of 7’s after calling a preflop raise.  I just called the c-bet when I hit my set on a rainbow board, but he checked the turn and didn’t call my bet.

Then came the hand the killed me.  It was only the second level (50/100) and I was down to about 8K or so from the 10K starting stack.  I had pocket 6’s.  I limped in; no one raised.  Again I caught my set, but this time there were two spades.  The guy to CK’s left led out for $500. I made it $1,500.  CK, sitting between the two of us, called, and the initial bettor called.

The turn was a damn spade.  The guy who bet the flop checked.  I checked.  CK bet out $3,500.  The guy next to her shoved for around $4,500-$4,800.  I had that covered, and I knew that shove wasn’t big enough for CK to re-raise if I just called.  Even on a three-spade board, I just couldn’t bring myself to fold a set.  I guess I should have, but I figured if I called I’d still have chips left and I’d see the river and maybe catch my boat.  Besides, I couldn’t be sure either one of them had the flush, right?  And I sometimes take chances like that in tournaments to catch a really big pot early.

I called.  CK actually tried to raise but the dealer informed her all she could do was call.  I got to see the river card which was worthless to me.  When CK went all in on the river (she had me covered), I knew I was beat, so I folded.  In fact, they both had flushes.  CK had Ace-2 of spades and the other guy had King-Queen of spaces.  He was gone and I was on life support.  I didn’t show but I did tell CK that I had a set.

So I started level 3 (100/200) with about 2K and thus was in desperation mode.

Thus, when with only one limper, who happened to be Grange, I shoved with Ace-6 suited.  It folded back to Grange. He was reluctant to call, he didn’t want to show his hand, but he had a big stack so he had to call my short-shove.  He showed 7-2.  Note: At these blogger tournaments, there is always a big deal made whenever anyone wins with 7-2, ie, “the hammer,” and in fact, PokerVixen had little prizes she was giving out for anyone who won a pot with that hand.

The flop was all blanks.  The turn was a deuce, which seemingly ended my tournament.  But no, a second later, the dealer put an Ace on the board to save me.  Grange of course laughingly protested that I had sucked out on him.  I pointed out that he was ahead for all of five seconds. Grange protested that it would have been a much better hand for me to write about if I hadn’t sucked out on him.  Do you agree?

My $3k+ stack didn’t last much longer.  UTG, I had King-9 of hearts, and desperate as I was, I shoved.  It was my first opportunity in many hands to open the pot, it had almost always be raised before it got to me. CK, right behind me with a nice big stack, called.  No one else did. She had Ace-Jack off.  The flop was 10-high, but the turn was a King, giving me hope.  Then a Queen on the river gave her the straight and my tournament was over.

CK not only hugged me goodbye but gave me a little peck on the cheek.  Now, I believe that, by the commutative law of kissing, this means I’ve kissed JacqMinx as well.

After busting, I was in serious need of food.  I took the brief stroll through the walkway between Aria and Monte Carlo and ate at one of the pricier Subways on the planet (because it’s located on the Strip).  So it cost me nearly $11 for a foot long tuna sub (no drink, no chips).

Then I returned to the Aria to see how my last-long partner was doing.  Sadly, not too well, but he was still alive.  I railed for him for a bit.. I have to say, my timing was beyond incredible.

You see, while I was standing behind Lightning, JacqMinx busted out (sorry).  By this time they were down to two tables and Lightning and CK were at the same table, more or less across from each other.  JacqMinx came by to say goodbye to her sister-wife, CK.  And that goodbye consisted of another kiss on the lips between the two of them.  But that wasn’t all.  CK was sitting and JacqMinx, who isn’t the tallest woman I’ve ever seen, was standing right next to her.

So CK leaned up and buried her face in JacqMinx’s chest and essentially motorboated her through her top.  Now, being a gentleman, I never, ever notice a woman’s chest, as all of you readers know.  But I have a strong feeling that if I somehow had noticed JackqMinx’s chest, I might possible have noticed that it was completely covered and not at all unnoticeable.  After the motorboating, CK just rested he head gently on JacqMinx’s chest for a few seconds (it seemed like a half hour to me, but I’m pretty sure it was just a few seconds).

At this point, I leaned into Lightning and said, “I do have good timing, don’t I?”  I think I may have also said to him, “And I was here to see that.”  To be honest, I’m not sure if Lightning even heard me—or even saw what was going on—because, silly boy, he was actually paying attention to the poker.

I decided to head over to MGM after that, and Lightning agreed that he would join me there in the unfortunate event that he busted from the tournament. 

The story of the rest of the day will have to wait for another time (unless you have read Lightning’s short version of it).  (Edited to add:  That time is now!  See the foolishness of the rest of the day right here!)

These experience with the WPBT was the quickest ever for me, but I certainly couldn’t complain about the blogging material I scored.  Looking forward to next year!


  1. Rob, great to see you again. Even if you did suck out on me. Never bring A-Queen to a Hammer fight.

    1. Thanks Grange, always great to see you.

      Next year I hope we can meet at the final table.

  2. Great post, Rob. Puts me in the mood for some pokerz - I'm in Hong Kong all week (not traveling this week ... rare) - might have to jet over to Macau again this w/e. I can pick you up another Vercace outfit if you like.

    1. Thanks. If you get back to Macau, please send us another trip report!

      But this post put you in the mood for poker? Really?

      Cuz it put me in the mood for lesbian porn. But then, what doesn't?

  3. Okay, not as huge of a fan as I was in the last post after reading the set of 6's hand. If you have pot odds and want to gamble on filling up, that's fine, but facing a big bet on the turn that gets raised all-in, you're very likely behind a flush (or two)...

    1. Yeah...that was a tough one, and I came pretty close to folding. I guess I should have had. But....I think in my mind I was not only thinking that I'd still be alive if I whiffed (and then folded on the river) but also remembering my last tournament at the Aria--when I played over 7 hours for the min cash. I think at that moment I more valued rolling the dice to try to get a (near) triple up and put myself in better position to make a big tournament score than I was just plodding a long.

      Sorry if I made you go back to thinking I'm a fish!

    2. Nah, never thought you were a fish, but you can see the change in your thought process, how you play hands, etc.. from when I picked up on your blog...

    3. Well, make sure you read my thought process in the follow up post....against the fish who actually played the EVIL HAND against me.

  4. Awesome pic Rob! I love the motorboat motion gif!

    1. Thank you sir! Yeah, I was just real lucky to find that one.