Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Acquaintance

This will be the “interesting” something that I alluded to at the end of the post here.  When I fled that table that was both hot (the cards) and cold (the temperature), I took seat 8, right next to Milt, in seat 9..

Milt is a regular, plays there a lot.  I see him most evenings I play.  He’s in his early 60’s, recently divorced.  Moved to Vegas after the divorce.  Nice guy, real friendly with all the dealers and a lot of the other regs.  We always say hi to each other.  He’s one of the guys who is always there earning hours for the freeroll. 

Quick story about Milt.  Seems like a pretty smart guy but I saw him do one of the oddest things I’d ever seen a few months prior.  Maybe it ties in with this story.  He was sitting at the game and started talking on his celphone (he wasn’t in the hand).  I didn’t pay attention to anything he said, and then all of sudden, he pulled out his wallet and started reading a credit card number into the phone, right there at the table, for anyone to overhear.  A couple of the folks at the table even joked about it.  “Let me write that down.”  “Can you repeat that?”  Seemed like a pretty dumb thing to do.

Anyway, Milt was on my immediate left and it was a little crowded because, sitting behind him—between us, really—was a young woman.  I would guess early 20’s, maybe mid-20’s.  Maybe a touch older if she looks young for her age.  This was a Friday night, and although the right age, she was not dressed for the club.  In fact, she was very nicely dressed, but more for business.  She could have gone to any office job wearing the outfit she was wearing.  White pants, not tight, conservative, modest top.  I dare say she was so conservatively dressed that, for a woman of her age on a weekend night, she actually kind of stood out.  She was attractive, very cute, but not at all trying to be sexy.

My first thought was that this was Milt’s daughter, or, more likely perhaps, his granddaughter.  Maybe his niece.  What else could she be?  She was too young to be his girlfriend.

Milt didn’t introduce us, in fact, he was so preoccupied with the girl he pretty much ignored me.  He was constantly talking to the girl whenever he was out of a hand.  He would frequently show her his cards.  She was leaning forward, listening, and seemed to be paying attention.

It soon became clear that he was trying to teach her the fundamentals of poker.  He was explaining the basic rules and etiquette and procedures in a normal speaking voice, which of course I could hear.  But often he would lean back to whisper something to her.  So apparently the whispering part concerned strategy.  He would do this even when he didn’t have cards, perhaps guessing as to what the players still alive had or were doing.  He was basically giving her poker lessons right at the table.

How sweet, I thought.  Milt taking out his daughter (or other relative) and showing her the ropes of his favorite hobby.  I figured she was probably visiting Vegas for the weekend, visiting her old man. 

Milt asked her a few times if she was getting the grasp of it.  At one point, he started talking a little bit about the math involved, you know, odds of hitting a set or hitting your draw, that sort of thing.  And then I heard him say, “Are you getting this?  You did say you went to college, right?  So you should be able to pick this up.”

Ahem.  He wasn’t sure if she had gone to college?  Well, I’m pretty sure that if she was his daughter, or granddaughter, or even his niece, he’d know for sure if she went to college.  I guess there was something else going on.

But boy, she sure didn’t look like a hooker, and she sure wasn’t dressed like one. 

The other thing he kept talking to her about was how long they were gonna stay in the poker room.  He kept asking her if it was ok if he played a little longer.  She always unhesitantly said it was fine, stay as long as he wanted.  But he kept asking.  “We’ll just stay two more orbits,” and then he would remind her what an “orbit” was.  As it was getting later, he asked if it was ok to stay another half hour for the midnight drawing, as he had a couple of tickets in the hopper.  She was always fine with it.

I must admit that part had me confused.  If this lady was hired for umm, services, why would he have to ask her if it was alright if he played poker a little longer?  My understanding is that these women are hired by the hour (or the day, or weekend, whatever).  If he wants to pay her to watch him play poker—and pretend to be learning how to play—why would she object to that?  I assumed the meter had already started, and all of this was on his nickel.

Of course, I was only speculating.  That he kept asking if it was ok to stay made my question the exact professional status of this relationship.  At one point, one of the other regs came by to say hello.  He introduced the young woman to the reg.  I think the reg asked if she was his daughter, and he said no, she was his “acquaintance.”  Note: I think this might have been when she was out her earshot.

I wasn’t 100% convinced of anything when she went to the Ladies Room.  She had to be directed to it so obviously wasn’t familiar with the casino.  One of Milt’s dealer buddies was dealing and as soon as she left the room Milt told the dealer that he was driving to LA. Sunday afternoon, and taking her with him.  The dealer asked, “Why don’t you just pick someone up in L.A.?”  And Milt said, “Why, I’ve got her.  Take what you can get.  At my age, I gotta take it when I can get it.”  The dealer laughed and agreed.  “I mean, how else am I gonna get it?  And she’s nice, right?”

I don’t know if it was the dealer or someone at the table who overheard this, but someone made a reference to Julia Roberts, and it was obviously a reference to her breakout film, Pretty Woman.  Similar arrangement, I guess.

Milt went on, “I want to die in the saddle.  I don’t want to die at the poker table, I want to die in bed.”  Hmm….now it was sounding like he hoped this gal would schtupp him to death.  My only question: In that case, why are you still playing poker, why not let the schtupping commence?

Alright, suspicions confirm.  It was obvious this was strictly a business arrangement.  But certainly this wasn’t the same kind of working girl that I see out there in casino asking me if I want some company.  Those girls aren’t hiring out for the weekend.  He apparently used an “escort service.”  That’s when I remembered him reading his credit card into his phone.  And I wondered if that was a previous case of his hiring a rent-a-vagina. 

As soon as the drawing was held, he went to cash out, and I overheard a bit of his conversation with the cashier, as our table was right next to the podium.  Just as he reached the front, his “date” decided to go to the Ladies Room again.  The female cashier had seen her and apparently inquired as to who she was after she had left the area.  I didn’t hear exactly what he said, but he apparently made no bones about what the relationship was.  And so the cashier said to him, “Oh, a little f*cky-f*ck, huh?”  Milt just laughed and said, “Yeah.”

Now, I have to admit, I was quite surprised by this whole scene.  No, I wasn’t surprised that a man had hired a prostitute—albeit a high class one (higher class than the ones that accost me near the lobby, anyway).  I get that.  It isn’t the world’s oldest profession for nothing. 

What surprised me was that he was so open about it, so unashamed.  He was almost boastful.  He certainly wasn’t embarrassed, that’s for sure.  As far as I could tell, the only reason he didn’t make it clear what this arrangement was when she was around was that he didn’t want to embarrass her.  He sure didn’t mind telling folks when she wasn’t there.  And keep in mind, these weren’t strangers he was telling, these were folks he knew, that he sees on a daily basis, who know him pretty well.  People he is going to see again when he returns from L.A. after his “f*cky-f*ck.”

I found it surprising.  Even if a guy isn’t married, even if he doesn’t have a significant other, aren’t most guys kind of quiet about hiring out a sex partner?  I mean, unless they’re Charlie Sheen?

The other thing I thought was weird was, why have her sit behind him while he’s playing poker?  What was the point of that? I get that he can’t be having sex with her nonstop (especially at his age), but why not have her show up after he’s done with the poker?  What thrill does he get going through the motions of teaching her how to play poker?  Is he hoping that, in a addition to having a sex partner, he can turn her into a poker buddy?  Like, he wants to play poker with her, than poke her?

Anyway, that’s the story.  They went off into the night and I can only assume Milt got his money's worth.   I just found his openness about it rather unusual.


  1. Replies
    1. I guess we have different perspectives, Tony.

  2. I play MGM a lot and I never get any hookers bothering me, not even low class ones. Frankly its a little insulting.

    1. Wow, it really is odd. I dunno what to say. You must either look like you have no money or at all, or look so satiated you don't need their services.

    2. I guess its the former... the reason I see a look of shock on people's face when I get stacked and rebuy for $300... I guess they assume I was playing my life savings.

  3. Well, only in Vegas, I guess. The weirdest thing to happen to me this trip ... well, not to ME technically, but ... my wife got CARDED when trying to buy wine at Von's! I think it made her feel pretty good ... she's in her 40's. The funny part was, she didn't have any I.D. on her at the time. She somehow talked her way into buying the wine, though.

    1. I'm sure that must have made her day, despite the inconvenience. I recall a story once from a 2/4 game years ago. There were a bunch of 21 year old guys playing, up there for one of their birthdays. They all got carded at the game, but at the same table was a 35-year old woman--not part of their group. She was carded too, and it totally thrilled her. She asked for a pic with the guys for her Facebook page.

  4. I imagine that he wanted the GFE -- girlfriend experience. And as I am sure you are aware, it seems like many of us, as we get older, care less and less about what other people think of us.

    1. Hmmm, definitely right about the GFE. I hadn't thought about the other thing but I suppose that's more true than not.

  5. I want the GFE! I have the MNS (married, no sex) experience. WTF?!?!?!?

    1. Ha ha....pretty sure the Mrs would not approve of you getting the GFE. But you could ask her.....

  6. Replies
    1. Not a Julia Roberts fan, huh? Me neither, but the pic fit.