Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Well, She Looked Like Tina Fey to Me

Another trip back to the summer, a session at Planet Hollywood on a Sunday afternoon.  This turned out to be successful session although I didn’t win (or lose) any big pots, but I left the table wondering if I had somehow inadvertently offended a young woman.

About an hour into the session, a cute young woman took the seat directly to my left.  She had long dark hair and was dressed rather conservatively for Vegas in the summer.  She seemed rather unremarkable until, after a half hour or so, she reached into her purse and took out a pair of black, plastic-framed glasses and put them on.

Suddenly, she looked an awful lot like Tina Fey to me.  And frankly, she looked a lot prettier with the glasses—the glasses just really improved her overall look.

We hadn’t been talking at all until this point, and frankly, it didn’t seem like she was interested in having a conversation with anyone.  But I couldn’t get over how much she was reminding me of Tina Fey.  So finally, I decided to say something to her.  “Do you get told a lot that you look like Tina Fey?”

No, she replied.  She had never heard that before.  Seriously? I repeated, “Wow, I’m surprised, when you put the glasses on, I couldn’t help noticing how much you look like Tina Fey.”

She just shrugged.

I should have taken the hint, I suppose, but I pressed onward.  “Who do you get then?  Who do you get told you look like?”  I’m pretty sure that pretty much everyone has been told they look like somebody famous before, right?  I mean, I’ve even been told I look like Costanza (see here).

She said, “Emma Watson.”  Now, I guess I kinda/sort knew who Emma Watson was, but I’ve never seen a Harry Potter movie and had no real idea what the heck she looked like.  So to be polite, all I could do was nod and say “O.K.”

Our conversation was over and a few minutes later, when another seat opened up at the table, she asked to move there—in other words, away from me.  Was it a coincidence, or was she annoyed with me?  Is being compared to Tina Fey somehow an insult?  I find Tina rather good looking myself.  I certainly meant it as a compliment.  But then I thought, well, this girl was much, much younger than Tina Fey.  She was early-mid 20’s, tops.  Tina Fey is 45 years old.  Did that bother her?  I suppose I should have said, “You look like a much younger version of Tina Fey,” but from where I sit, 45 is still on the young side. 

Or perhaps she thought I was hitting on her, or making a clumsy attempt at flirting with her.  And considering the fact that I am old enough to be her—well, ok, her older brother, let’s go with that—she wasn’t amused.

Or, it could have had nothing to do with anything I said.  Maybe she wanted to get a better view of the cards, or saw a weakness in another player she wanted to exploit. 

Later, I googled “Emma Watson” and you know what?  She definitely looked more like Tina Fey than Emma Watson.  Also, I find Tina Fey more attractive than Ms. Watson.  

As for the poker, I raised to $8 with Ace-King and had three callers.  I missed, no one bet the flop or the turn.  On the river, I caught a straight (it was runner-runner and no one called my $20 bet.  I guess I could have taken that pot down with a flop bet.

Very next hand I got pocket Aces.  I raised to $8 and two called. The flop was Queen high, two diamonds. I bet $20 and it was heads up.  Third diamond on the turn, we both checked.  Another Queen on the river, no betting again.  My bullets were good.

In less than an orbit, I got pocket Aces again. I raised to $8 and four of us saw a Queen high flop with two hearts.  I bet $20 and two players called.  The turn was the Ace of hearts, I bet $35 and no one called.

A while later, I got the dreaded hand. After a limper, I raised to $10 and had three callers.  The flop was Ace high.  Do most players check in my situation?  I think a lot do.  They check and are prepared to fold to a bet, assuming someone has an Ace.  But I don’t do that.  Maybe that’s why I lose so often with pocket Kings?  But anyway, I bet $25 and no one called. 

I called a $5 UTG straddle with 6-5 of diamonds.  Four of us saw the flop of Q-4-3 one diamond.  I called $15 and it was heads up.  The turn was a high diamond, giving me both the straight and the flush draws, so I called $30.  But the river bricked and I folded to a shove.  One of these days I’ll learn to play my good draws more aggressively and successfully. 

I got pocket Aces for the third time in the session.  There were some limpers so I raised to $14 and was called in two spots.  The flop was Queen high and I bet $25, no call.

I limped in with pocket 7’s and call $13.  Four of us saw the flop, which had a 7 and two clubs.  I called $25.  Really not sure why I decided to slow-play it there.  But I regretted it when a third club hit the turn.  It was heads up. This time the villain checked and I checked behind.  The river paired the board, giving me a boat, and when the villain checked, I put out just $35, but he didn’t call.

Somehow, those small pots added up to a $100 profit, and I called it a session.  I just hope the girl who looked like Tina Fey wasn’t insulted.


  1. The young lady prob thought "Grandpa" was attempting a hit and run on her..
    Regardless, i'm sure she was sub standard to the chicks from the "slut parade", therefore, not top shelf material.

    1. Oh come on, she was really cute. I said she was dressed rather conservatively. Put her in appropriate (or rather, INappropriate attire) and I'm sure she'd have been turning heads like crazy.

  2. Always the ladies man, huh Rob? Just think what she told her friends: "George Costanza was hitting on me." Mwahahahaha!

    1. That's actually funny, Lightning. Even better.....some random passerby notices both of us, then goes back and tells all his friends, "You won't believe it, I saw Emma Watson and Jason Alexander playing poker together in Vegas!"

  3. Ms. Watson is very popular among the twenty-somethings that grew up with the Harry Potter franchise. They think she is (how do the young people put it?) the bee's knees. I would probably say she is comparable to say Valerie Bertinelli or Phoebe Cates from my generation.

    1. Thanks Jeff, appreciate the illumination.

      Phoebe Cates huh? She starred in the single greatest movie scene in the history of film, didn't she?

    2. I had a friend that worked in a video rental place back in the ancient VHS days and he said they had to replace the "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" tapes more often than most movies because the tape on that one scene would wear out from being played, paused, and rewound so much.

    3. Yep, I heard that too. In fact, the director, Amy Heckerling,, said something similar on the commentary track for the DVD.

  4. "Doesn't anybody f%cking knock any more?"

    1. Um....ok. I'm guessing that's a reference to something but it's not one I'm familiar with.