Sunday, July 24, 2016

Buck Naked's Excellent Vegas Adventure (Guest Post)

Recently, I received an email from one of my readers.  It was a brief recap on his two visits to Vegas during the WSOP.  Unfortunately, the timing was such that we weren’t able to get together while he was in Vegas, his report will have to do.  He told me it was ok to publish his report as long as I didn’t identify him.

So this post is his report.  Now, it occurred to me if I just posted this and attributed it to “Anonymous,” people might think that it is my report, and due to the salacious nature of it, I was merely claiming that it happened to someone else because I didn’t want to own up to it.

But I assure you, this really was submitted by one of my readers.  You have to trust me, it’s not me.  This particular reader is someone I’ve met in Vegas in the past, and he is a really good guy, and he is very real—and definitely not me.  I think you’ll believe me because, if nothing else, you’ll see the writing style doesn’t resemble mine at all.  If I was capable of writing in a different style, I’d write in Raymond Chandler’s style, because man, he was a helluva writer.


But I still don’t want to credit this to “Anonymous.”  I have to give my reader a fake blog name.  Since the story is bit salacious, I was thinking of a salacious pseudonym.  And I remembered that on Seinfeld, George Costanza once (at least) said that he thought the perfect name for a porn star would be “Buck Naked.”  The name seems perfect for the story from my reader, so we are going to call him “Buck Naked.” However, I am pretty sure my guest blogger is not a porn star.  Here’s his story.

Sorry I missed you during both my trips to Vegas this summer.  Wanted to let you know I managed to cash in two deepstacks this year at the Rio.  First was a min cash, nothing interesting to relay about, but my second was a little more interesting.

My second trip was 6/19-6/23.  Had a direct flight on Spirit airlines XXX-LAS, and as you may know my hobbies are poker, cars, and beer.  So after one brewsky at the airport prior to boarding, and two on the plane, we landed @ 6:50 pm.

Picked up rental car and drove straight to Rio, no, I was not driving, left that to my buds. Got to Rio about 7:30 and jumped in the 7PM deepstack, a little late.

I tipped a red bird on my first beer at the table and the cocktail lady kept them coming.  I really hate to admit this, but about 14 beers and 7 hours later I made the final table and busted 8th, for a decent score.

So I was free-rolling the rest of my trip, which is always nice.  Sad part was, I felt so bad the next day, couldn't play any, and just recovered in my room, drinking plenty of non-alcoholic beverages, with my buds telling me what a pussy I was..  They are all at least 20 years younger than me, and time will sneak up on them as well.

The next day, we went to the Rhino—in the "daylight"—which usually means you have a problem with titty bars, but we had other plans for later, and had a 2-hour gap for lap dances.  We soon discovered that going during happy hour was + EV, we got there around 4pm.

As soon as we entered, we were attacked by a bevy of hot ladies, and we couldn’t see for shit, took a while for eyes to adjust from the bright daylight, to very dim light in the club.  So the 3 of us had 2 girls each with table lap dances @ $20 each. Due to my superior negotiation skills, I had 2 for $20.  Beer was regularly priced @  $12 each, but $4 during happy hour, so we downed a few, while the girls kept trying to lure us to the VIP rooms for big $$ dances and more a touchy/feely experience; which consisted of them dry humping us while they were wearing g-strings only.


The girls were mostly unsuccessful, but one of our group did give in and dropped $300 only to be teased to the max.  I'm too old/frugal/cheap to make a purchase of "fantasy booty", so when our bud re-appeared from the VIP room, we made a hasty exit and headed to Pahrump for the "real deal".


Buck ended his tale with “more later” but he never got back to me with details of their visit to Pahrump.  In case anyone doesn’t know, Pahrump is a city about an hour outside of Vegas where prostitution is legal.  Actually, I’m not sure if the report from that part of Buck’s trip would be suitable for my blog’s family values.

Anyway, thanks for the report, Buck.  I trust you had a fine time in Pahrump.  

(EDITED TO ADD:  WE NOW HAVE BUCK'S STORY FROM PAHRUMP!!!  SEE HERE!)

10 comments:

  1. 14 beer, $300 strip joint sessions and trips to Pahrump are both quite foreign to me. Are these things now on a future trip agenda?

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    1. Well....I think you need PPP-type money to attempt it.

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  2. Interesting, Buck must be a poker/T&A degen... only in Vegas.

    GL Sir,

    Big L

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  3. Pahrump also sells really awesome fireworks (illegal in MANY places) and parts to somewhat illegal firearms...is it not possible that he and his compatriots just got a bunch of mortars?

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    Replies
    1. That is SO not the way I'd bet.

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  4. Replies
    1. Kind of thought this might have pricked your interest.

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  5. Been busy af, but details from Pahrump adventure coming soon.


    Buck

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    Replies
    1. Now that is some good news, Buck! Can't wait.

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