Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Did She Just Tell Us She Was Wearing Red Underwear? (A Valentine's Day Story)

This post is in honor of today being Valentine’s Day.  As I mentioned here, I am not in Vegas today, but I was in Vegas last year for this most romantic of all holidays.  This story took place exactly one year ago today, Valentine’s Day, 2011.
On this day, I found myself at LC2.  In honor of the day, some of the dealers had managed to add some kind of red to their wardrobe.  Apparently, you are supposed to wear red on Valentine’s Day, just as you are supposed to wear green on St. Patrick’s Day.
The uniforms the poker dealers wear at LC2 are the typical drab, boring mono-colored shirt and black pants.  Some of the ladies had added a red ribbon, or had red earrings, or perhaps had red nail polish.  Even one of the male dealers got in the spirit.  He wore a red flashing heart on his shirt.  Or it was supposed to be flashing.  Apparently the battery died and it stopped flashing while he was dealing at my table.  Someone pointed that out to him and he said, “Yeah, the battery died.  But at least I have a heart on.”
I giggled.  And in fact, I was the only one who got his joke, which he acknowledged.  “At least Rob got it.”  I actually remember that about a zillion years ago, Doc Severinsen used that line with Johnny back when Johnny Carson was The Tonight Show.  At the time, it was rather a risqué joke for network television.
Anyway, one of the female dealers at LC2 is Jessica, a young, very attractive blonde.  She has a very pretty face and a killer smile.  She appeared to have a really good figure, but it was harder to tell about that since poker dealer uniforms are not designed to show off a lady’s physical assets—nor should they be (did I just write that?).
But I did discover that her figure was even better than I could possibly imagine (and I have a very, very good imagination) when I saw her out of uniform one day—no not that way, dammit).  One time, I was at LC2 waiting for my name to be called and I saw an off-duty Jessica swing by to say hello to her colleagues.  On this day, Jessica was apparently all dressed up for a night on the town.  Wow. And I do mean Wow.
Now when I say dressed up, I mean dressed up.  She was dressed to the nines, as they say.  She was wearing a short, tight black dress.  It was low-cut too off course, but not as extremely low-cut as the most extreme you see in Vegas.  It was classily low-cut.  The dress answered every question I had about Jessica’s figure….it was awesome. She had curves everywhere a woman is supposed to have curves, and then some. Additionally, she had her long blonde hair running down to her shoulder all on one side, and it was absolutely stunning look for her.
It looked to me that when she was getting ready for the evening, she put her whole look together with only one thought in mind….that she was going to snap the necks of every man she passed by trying to get a second look at her. 
Sitting there, watching her chat with her co-workers, I was actually kind of mesmerized. Then at one point she was standing there by herself, as all her colleagues were busy helping patrons.  I found myself walking over to talk to her.  I couldn’t help myself.
I thought Jessica would recognize me even though I knew she wouldn’t know my name.  You see, LC2 is a locals casino where most of the poker players are there almost on a daily basis.  The dealers go to a poker table and they probably know the first and last names of at least 9 of the ten players there.  They also know the names of the spouses, their children, their grandchildren, and their pets. I did say grandchildren.  The reason most of these folks can play poker so much is that they are retired.  Some have been retired for a long time. I stand out because while I am there often for an out-of-towner, I am a virtual stranger as compared to the 95% of their clientele. 
But she had dealt to me enough times that even if she didn’t know me as well as the regular regulars, I still would look familiar to Jessica, I thought  But just to make certain she didn’t think I was just some strange, dirty old-man trying to hit on her, I made sure I addressed her by name.
When I got over to her, I said, “Jessica, I just felt compelled to come over here and tell you how sensational you look.  You look great, just awesome.”  Now, I had no idea how she would take that.  A woman capable of looking this good is surely used to guys telling how great she looks, right? Would she care what some old guy she’s dealt a few hands of poker to thought about how she looked?  She certainly wasn't dressing for me.  Or would she fear I was trying to hit on her?  I was somewhat concerned about how she’d react.
No worries.  She gave me a huge smile (did I mention she has a great smile?) and thanked me. I returned to my seat quickly to wait for a game.  I didn’t want there to be any doubt in her mind I had no other purpose than to pay her that much deserved compliment.  But I can say this.  The next several times she saw me at LC2, whether to come to my table to deal or just as we she was passing by and spotted me, she said hi and flashed that million dollar smile at me.
Sorry about the digression, but I was trying to paint a picture.  Imagine that Jessica coming to the table on Valentine’s Day in her drab poker dealers uniform, wearing no red whatsoever.  She says hello to everyone and they do likewise.  As I recall, I am probably the youngest person at the table (except for Jessica) and likely the only non-regular (meaning someone who comes to the room at least 3 times a week, every week). It was all men.  There are plenty of women who are regulars in the room, but this particular table was all male, save for Jessica.
There was some chit-chat and then Jessica took a look at this motley crew and said, “Where is all your Valentine’s Day spirit, guys?  How come no one is wearing red?”  One or two of the guys pointed out that they were wearing red, but then she spoke directly to one of the most regular regulars at that table.  “How about you, John?  Where’s your red?”
John, or whatever his name was because I honestly don’t remember, said, “I’m wearing red socks.  You just can’t see it.”
Jessica replied, “All right then.”
But John had noticed that Jessica was showing no red either. “What about you?  You’re not wearing red!”
Jessica replied, “I am too. You just can’t see it.”
Every one of the old farts at the table, myself included, snickered like a bunch of high school boys.  You know what we were thinking.
Jessica seemed embarrassed, but you know, not really that embarrassed.  She said, “No, I’m wearing red socks.  I have red socks on. That’s what I meant.  Come on.”
None of us were buying.  There were comments like “sure” and “right” and “yeah, I’ll bet”, but she just smiled.  Finally John said to her, “You know what we’re thinking about now, right?  You got us all thinking about it.”  She just shook her head as if she was surprised by the dirty minds she was in the presence of.
I have no idea if Jessica was wearing red underwear that day.  But I would bet plenty that Jessica was intentionally being provocative with her statement, the way she phrased it.  Since the guy had just said that you couldn’t see his red, because it was his socks, the most natural comeback to his question would have been, “I’m wearing red socks too.”  Would have been short and simple and it would have come naturally to her.  Instead, she phrased it in such a way that all the guys there were indeed thinking about her undies.  And that was very intentional, I’m sure.
One more reason I’ll always think of Jessica as “sensational.”
Happy Valentine’s Day.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Huge Score! Taking 2nd in the First Very Josie!

I'm ready for the main event now!  Tonight was the inagural Very Josie Tournament on Black Chip Poker.

A special invitation only poker tournament for followers of the terrific Very Josie blog.  Most of the players were fellow poker bloggers, most of their blogs are on my blogroll, and if they aren't they should be, and soon will be.

Unfortunately, our lovely, hostess (who has really big boobs, btw), got knocked out early and was never at the table with me.  Even more unfortunately, once you got knocked out, you weren't able to chat, so the main reason I played--so I could take abuse from Josie--was negated. 

But a good time was had by all anyway.

It probably helped that I took 2nd place.  Yeah, against all those savy pro's, this rank amateur managed to take 2nd place.  Lightning was the big winner, knocking me out.  And TBC took home third.  He was the big chip leader for most of the tournament but ran into a bad streak to finish in the last cash position.  Tough luck Tony, but at least you cashed.

This was a bounty tournament and I took two bounties.  I knocked out Gary and Poker Grump.and scored two bucks each for that.  Now the Grump is actual a professional poker player and his blog is basically a course on how to play smart poker, so I am especially proud of that.  I could see what a tough player he is even tho I suspect that considering the stakes involved and the fact that all of us were paying as much attention to making smart-ass comments on chat as we were the poker, he was hardly playing his best.

Yeah, I'm pretending to be bragging but I know I just got lucky.

And amazingly enough, I won not once but twice with Pocket Kings.  However, in both cases, I raised preflop with them and got no callers. 

It was a fun time and winning a few bucks (and I really mean it, it was a few bucks) was just icing on the cake. 

Thanks Josie!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

All the Fun of a 2/4 Game But With Big, Beautiful Stacks!

Since my last two poker posts (see here and here) were downers, it’s high time for a good story.  Ooops, I spoiled the ending.  Sorry.
This took place the same night, and in fact at the same 1/2  table as two previous stories I’ve posted, here and here.  Yes, I was sitting between Ginger and her pal all night.  As I mentioned, this was a real fun table because Ginger and her pal were chatting up a storm, having a good time, and it was totally contagious.
I bought in for $200 and almost immediately started added to my stack.  I started getting chips from a number of folks at the table but definitely not Ginger.  Ginger’s friend, yes.  I took her stack once and won a couple of early pots I was in with her to the point where she was making comments about me being her nemesis. 
My stack was up to about $380 when this hand happened.  A LAG (Loose Aggressive) guy from Germany in early position raised to $10.  He had been raising a lot, and won a lot chips, and also lost some chips.  I’m guessing he was down around $180 from a $200 buy in but had been ahead not long before.  In one hand against me, he took down a pot from me when he raised my flop continuation bet and I folded.  He showed a total bluff.  I wasn’t concerned because I didn’t have the goods either, I wasn’t going to risk a lot of money on Ace High and it was good to know that he was bluffing.  Ginger’s friend immediately to my right called the ten bucks (she called a lot of pre-flop raises).
In late position I looked down at pocket Aces.  Thank goodness it wasn’t Kings!  I re-raised to $30.  It folded to the Big Blind.  Mr. Big Blind hadn’t been at the table all that long, but he had been there awhile and I didn’t have much of a read of his game.  He’d won a few small pots, lost some money in some small pots, hadn’t really gotten involved in a big pot yet.  My gut reaction was that he wasn’t a terrible player, but he wasn’t a great one or a particularly experienced player either.
Without almost any hesitation, he re-raised me to $60!  It was a rather odd bet, it seemed to me.  If he truly had a hand worth four-betting, making the minimum re-raise was not a great play.  Seems to me he should have either called or shoved all in there, depending on what he had.  And since I was looking at the best starting hand in Hold Em, it was hard for me to imagine either a fold or a call there wasn’t the right play for him.
Meanwhile it was the German guy’s turn to act, he looked like he was in great pain.  He gave the Big Blind a glance, but he just stared at me and also the big stack of chips in front of me.  He said aloud, “I really like my hand” and thought some more, eyeing me a lot more than the guy who raised me.  We had been playing together for way more than an hour, and he surely was an observant enough player to know that this was the first time I’d three-bet pre-flop since he’d gotten to the table.  And then there was my stack to consider, which was a lot larger than his (in poker, size does matter!).
After a few seconds he said, “I have a good hand here, I have a really good hand.”  He showed it to a guy standing behind him, who was neither his friend nor in the game.  Finally, almost painfully, he folded. Ginger’s friend took no time at all to muck her hand.
Back to me.  The one thing I knew for sure about Big Blind’s hand was that it couldn’t possibly be better than mine.  The minimum re-raise made me strongly think that he had the other two Aces.  The odds of that are small but I’ve seen it many times.  More likely, in my mind, was that he had pocket Kings (better him than me).  I really couldn’t imagine him making that $60 bet with anything else.
I paused only a few seconds, then softly and emotionlessly (I hope) said “All in.”  The German guy now exclaimed, "I knew it!"  It was the fear of my acting behind him, doing exactly what I did that caused him to fold.
I figured that Big Blind might at least think about it.  I had him way covered.  If he had Kings, well, the rule is that you “never” fold Kings pre-flop in a cash game, but….but he wasn’t pot committed and he certainly must have considered there was a strong possibility that I had what I had.  He hadn’t seen me play a lot of pots since he’d sat down (because I play tight, probably too tight) and he saw all those chips I’d collected in front or me.  He might have thought for a bit if he had Kings and maybe even found a fold there.
But he wasted no time at all.  He insta-called my all-in.  “Ace’s or King’s” I thought to myself, now even more likely Ace’s.
Although it was a cash game and we didn’t have to show, we both did.  I showed my bullets and he flipped over….Ace King offsuit!  It was a lot better than I hoped for.  Pocket Kings is basically a two outer for him.  But AK he needs a lot of help.  Two Kings on the board, or a lucky straight or a miracle flush (his King was the same suit as one of my Ace’s).  I was in very good shape.
No Kings, no Ace’s, no straights or flushes hit, my Ace’s held up, and I won a very nice pot.  But there was a Queen on the flop.  Why is that significant?  Because the German guy groaned when he saw it.  “Oh no…..I had Queens!” He said.  Since there was no further betting action, it was ok for him to say that.  So if he was telling the truth, he made a great lay down but in reality, would have won one heckuva a huge pot if he’d called both the $60 and then my all-in.  But hey, that’s poker. 
Big Blind said nothing, and just left the game, never to be seen again.  But he had done me a huge favor.  If he had merely called my raise, I’m pretty sure German guy would have called my $30 bet.  And then been deliriously happy with the flop, to say the least.  I suppose it’s possible he would have re-raised me himself (in which case I would have shoved) but I doubt it.  It was really a bad play on BB’s part.  AK is a good hand, but it’s not a hand you want to fall in love with pre-flop when it’s already been 3-betted to you.  Or if you have to go all in with it having a big stack,  He made two bad plays, the four-bet and then especially calling my shove.  Calling my shove with AK offsuit there is unforgivable.  And the German guy will in fact never forgive him!  But I will.  Thank you very much, kind sir!

Big Blind's seat was taken by the guy the German had shown his mucked hand to.  He confirmed that he had indeed folded two ladies.
That wasn’t the last of my success on this night, I kept winning, but nothing as big or as memorable as this hand.
By the time Jack came to deal at the table, I had well over $600 in chips in front of me.  Knowing me as a 2/4 player, and not a particularly successful one at that, he asked, “What’d you buy in for, $600?”  Of course he was joking, knowing full well the most you could buy in for was $300.  I told him it was $200 as I laughed and he nodded, impressed.
Some time during the evening, Brent passed by my table while going to deal at another table.  He had been dealing at this table much, much earlier in the night. He stopped for a second to lean into me and say (loud enough for Ginger and her friend to hear), “I commend you sir, for being able to sit between these two for so long.”  I laughed and he was off to his new table before I could respond.
But when I was finally ready to call it a night, and had two racks holding about $700 in red chips in my hands ($500 profit), I saw him at a table, held up the chips and said, “Now do you see why I was willing to sit at that table for so long?”  He nodded and laughed and said, “Yeah, I kind of figured that might have something to do with it.”
A great evening to say the least.  A good time (more like a 2/4 game) and a very successful night, profit-wise, poker-wise.  Couldn’t ask for more than that.