Tuesday, July 15, 2014

EDC 2014: Buttocks & Belly Buttons

Once again, it seems, I have been called upon to provide a needed service for my loyal readers at great personal sacrifice.

It’s not like I wanted to report on the Slut Parade, but readers demanded it, so I I sucked it up and studied the phenomenon and reported back to you here.  And of course, whenever I’m in Vegas, I am obligated to keep studying further to report on any significant changes, should they occur.

And then of course, I was forced to hold my nose and experience Halloween in Vegas for all of you, and report it here.

A few months later, I was forced against my will to experience New Year’s Eve in Vegas, which turned into three agonizing reports that begin here. 

I really deserve combat pay for having to deal with all that.  But hey, I have to serve my readers.

There was one thing left to report on.  In all my time in Vegas, I had never been there during EDC.

Until last month. 

EDC is short for “Electric Daisy Carnival.”  It is a giant, three-day music festival that hits Vegas in late June.  I had never even heard of it before last year.  I think it first got my attention when I saw some forum members on PokerAtlas and other places complain about it last year.  They were complaining because the room rates were jacked up like nobody’s business for the weekend it took place.

I hadn’t planned on being there then anyway, so I didn’t pay much attention.  But as the date approached for this year’s event, a few of my buddies told me it was something that I might want to be in town for.

No, it wasn’t to enjoy the music.  It was to enjoy the festival’s attendees.

I was promised that a lot of the people flooding Vegas for this thing would be young, attractive girls wearing weird outfits.  And that a lot of those outfits would leave little to the imagination.

Of course, personally, I’m not interested in that type of thing, but I know my readers are.  I knew I had to be in town to report back.  It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it.

So it was no coincidence that I arrived back in Vegas on the day that EDC 2014 was to begin.  Of course, I had no intention of going to the music festival itself.  But I knew the attendees would be flooding all the hotels, and there would be shuttle busses from all the big properties transporting the music lovers to and from the venue, which was the Vegas Speedway far out on the north end of town. 

Apparently, attendees are more-or-less required to wear some sort of bizarre costume.  It really is like Halloween in June, although there weren’t a lot of scary costumes.  There did seem to be a lot of similarities in dress among the ladies.

Many of the girls wore tutus.  Don’t ask me why, I have no idea.  But the tutus didn’t cover that much.  In the fact, the first girl I saw that was obviously there for EDC was right in the MGM parking lot, before I even got into the hotel.  She was wearing a ballerina outfit, complete with tutu.  Unfortunately, she was at least 50 pounds overweight, and I pity the poor male ballet dancer who had to lift her.  Thus, my first impression of EDC was thus not particularly good, but that changed fast.

I started seeing a lot of girls in either B&D type outfits or lingerie.  Right in the casino, of course.  I guess these girls were more or less the same age as those that make up the Slut Parade, but some of them were younger; I didn’t think you had to be 21 to attend the music festival.  As with the SP, there were all kinds of figures, though I would say that in general, the EDC girls were probably a little skinnier than the SP girls.  And I don’t think there was really any crossover between the two crowds since EDC was going full blast whenever the nightclubs would be open.  Attendance to the club didn’t seem down, so basically, there were at least twice as many scantily clad women in Vegas on this weekend than on the average weekend.

The hell I had to go through, I tell you.

A bunch of the Tweeter peeps I follow—Vegas locals—were starting to warn and/or complain about the onslaught of the EDC types a few days before it started, while I was still in L.A.  One of the things I kept reading about was that all the girls would be wearing something called “High waisted jean shorts” and how awful that was.  Not being a fashion expert (you’re shocked, I know), I actually had no idea what that was (other than what it sounded like).  OK, so it turns out its exactly what it sounds like.  I was assured that this was the main piece of clothing these girls wore, and that this was a bad thing.

Umm….not so much.

I saw a lot of girls in shorts.  But not high-waisted.  In fact, rather low-waisted.  Some really, really, really low waisted.  I mean there was an awful lot of space between the belly button and where the short started.  Now, there was a part of these shorts that was high—but that was in the back.  The back of the shorts were cut high, very high.  Extremely high.

Seriously, the average girl wearing shorts was exposing a minimum of 1/3 of her ass.  Some closer to half.  Some more than half.  Some were almost in thong territory.

And they were short in the front too, real short.  Oh, and tight.  Very tight. I suppose that might be why so many of the girls were wearing tutus.  Otherwise, from the front, with how tight those shorts were, you might just be forced see the outline of….well, you know, the phrase “camel-toe” comes to mind.  I guess the tutus were for modesty.

On top, the girls were generally not wearing much more than a bra or a bikini top.  Some of those tops had fur or feathers on them.

And for footwear—most of the girls had furry boots.  Which of course come in handy in Las Vegas in summer.

It was an odd look but to summarize, a large percentage of the girls in Vegas for EDC were walking around the casinos basically in bikinis.  The front of the “bikini bottom” might have been a little more modest, but the back of it was more revealing than the average bikini bottom (except in the case of thong). 

I mentioned belly buttons, right?  Many were pierced, many had tattoos in the general vicinity, but regardless, I’d estimate that at least 97.5% of the female attendees to EDC were exposing their belly buttons.  That may be a slight exaggeration, but I probably saw more female navels in those three days than I have in my entire life up until that point. 

Let’s put it this way, for that weekend, I literally did a helluva lot of navel-gazing.

And as I said, it was rare to see a girl whose buttocks were fully covered.  Hence the title of this post, “Buttocks & Belly Buttons.”  That’s what I saw tons of.

What about cleavage, I hear you ask?  Well, as I said, a lot of the girls were wearing little more than bikini tops.  So there was plenty of cleavage, but honestly, it really took a back-seat (so-to-speak) to the buttocks and the belly buttons.  Fortunately, after that first girl in the ballerina costume I saw, most of the girls had the figures to be able to get away with showing so much flesh.

And yeah, I eventually did see some girls in those supposedly dreaded high waisted jean shorts I’d been warned about.  But not that many.  Or maybe it was just that there so many girls around with their pupiks exposed, I didn’t notice the ones who were covered up. There was usually a bare midriff in the immediate vicinity to focus on instead. Or a pair of liberally exposed buttocks.

Some of the girls had messages on their asses.  I mean on their shorts or bikini bottoms.  One gal had the word “Texas” across her butt.  Although it was spelled “Texass.”  I believe the “ass” was emphasized.  I think we knew we were looking at an ass without the help.

Another girl had the word “sexy” cut out of the back of shorts.  She wasn’t wearing anything underneath, and so there was quite a bit of bare ass exposed.

I saw a girl wearing a t-shirt with the words, “Beauty is a short-lived tyranny.”  I suspect that this is supposed to be a feminist message decrying society’s obsession with beauty.  It might have had more impact if the t-shirt wasn’t extremely low-cut, the girl wearing it wasn’t extremely well-endowed, and the shorts she was almost wearing didn’t expose about 2/3’s of her buttocks. 

Another woman I noticed had a tattoo of a pair of ruby-red lips on one of her breasts, the upper part that you could see since she was wearing a low-cut top.  That had me a little confused.  Is she hoping some gal wearing lipstick would kiss her there?  Perhaps she wants a guy using lipstick to kiss her there?  Huh?  I suppose she could have been a lesbian but she was with a guy, for whatever that’s worth.

A weird sight I saw late into one of these evenings: There were two girls and a guy off in the corner, over by Beecher’s Madhouse (the “little people’s” burlesque show).  One of the girls was on the floor doing push-ups.  The guy was counting and apparently there was a bet involved, and she had to do many push-ups in order to win.  It looked like she made it. These folks weren’t there for EDC, they were dressed in nightclub apparel.  You don’t see a girl in a super-short, super-tight cocktail dress doing push-ups very often.

Another evening I saw a couple walking past me, also wearing nightclub clothing.  The girl was super hot, seemed way out of the league of the schlub she was with. I wondered if he she might have been hired for the evening. I guess the girl noticed my reaction and she turned to me and said, “You wouldn’t believe it, but this guy is amazing in bed.”

I didn’t take any pictures, but I was able to find some pics on the internet of how some girls dressed up for it, which I present to give you some idea of the kind of things I was seeing for three straight days.

The poker during this period wasn’t that good.  The tables weren’t that busy, as it was too expensive for many poker players to come into town for the weekend.

But the scenery for those three days was certainly more than pleasant.


  1. Rob is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON YOUR A GAME with this post.girls kissing too. A+++++++++++++++++

    1. Thanks, anger....and, I'll have you know I finished writing this post after watching the season finale of 24 last nite.

    2. WOW. u r a trooper,sir.dont tell me what happen .iwill wait 2 years till it comes on AMazon Prime or netflix. also, only flush the toilet if u take a sheeeeeeeeit. conserve water

    3. Actually that's what happens....Jack takes a dump and flushes, which blows up the world. Last episode ever.

    4. dammmmmmmmmmit. he ran out of time. well, at least ,that ending is better than the last episode of the Sopranos. that episode was just a DUMP.

  2. DIDN'T TAKE ANY PHOTOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

    1. Well, norm, I didn't take any photos myself but I did provide some nice pics? No credit for that?

      Tell you what, when the blog becomes so successful that I am making tons of money off it, I'll hire a full-time photographer to tag along with me on my Vegas adventures and take pics of all the things I talk about.

    2. i am cheap tooooooooo. mountian dew,taco bell,.22 caliber bullets,and i will even smoke some lo grade kush. LOL