Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Halloween Slut Parade

If you ever hear that I’m not in Vegas on Halloween, you’ll know I’m dead. 

If you ever hear I’m not at the MGM on Halloween, you’ll know that some other casino has opened an even more popular nightclub than Hakkasan. 

Now I’ve heard people say that, “In Vegas, every night is Halloween.”  There’s an element of truth in that, but the fact is, Halloween in Vegas is not like every other night in Vegas.

It’s better.

Much, much better.

So let me define what I mean by “better.”

There are more extremely hot girls, showing more skin, than on a regular night—even a busy Saturday night.

As I revealed in my Slut Parade post (see here) men—heterosexual men, anyway—actually enjoy seeing hot girls exposing most—if not all—of their bodies.  I personally did extensive scientific research to discover this fact, which was not previously known.  I expect to be awarded the Pulitzer Prize or the Nobel Prize or some other important prize for revealing this surprising, yet irrefutable, discovery.

It was only after I had done this extensive research that I realized that I too, being a heterosexual man, actually did enjoy glimpsing at hot girls wearing not a lot of clothing.  Until then, I just found girls walking around in short, tight, low-cut dresses annoying.

On Halloween night, Hakkasan had a “Sexiest Costume Contest.”  This is somewhat akin to a Strip Club having a “Most Naked Lady” contest.

I of course never entered Hakkasan, but I didn’t have to.  I saw many of the contestants on their way to the club.  Or lining up for the club.  Or coming in from the parking lot.  Or just milling around the MGM.

There were other costumes too, costumes that were not trying to compete for the title of sexiest.  But for some strange reason, the ones I mostly noticed all seemed to be designed to compete for the title of “sexiest.”

I did play poker this evening, but fear not, this is not a poker post.  The only big pairs I’ll be discussing will be ones that were only partially covered by some semblance of a costume.  I’ll discuss the actual poker from that night some other time.

As I arrived at the MGM early evening, I was just past the lobby, in route to the poker room, when I saw my first young lady wearing a costume.  There was a very attractive blonde girl in what can only be described as a Santa Claus bikini.  It was red with the white fringe and it was quite revealing.  The cute thing about it was, jutting out from her breasts were two little Santa Claus hats, like tassles.  This was way before the club was going to open and she was actually walking to the parking lot.  Maybe she had to go Trick or Treating.

I got to the poker room and got lucky in that they sent me to the table that is the closest to the aisle where most of the club patrons walk by.  If you get the right seat, you can see most of the club goers coming from and going to the club.  This is prime viewing area, to be sure.

Unfortunately, the open seat was seat 7, which would have my back to the pedestrian traffic.  But as I was starting to get settled in that seat, the player in seat 9 got up and left, so I asked the dealer if I could take that seat instead.  Seats 1 & 9 at this table have the absolute best view in the room for viewing the Slut Parade.  Not such a great seat for looking at your cards and concentrating on the game, of course. 

I remained at the seat for the next four hours, theoretically playing poker but spending most of my time watching the costumes go by.  Many of the dealers who came to the table (this is the favorite table of all the male dealers, to be sure), commented on how I had the best seat in the house.  Some of the male players did as well.

One of the regulars even asked how I had managed to get such a prime seat.  I told him I had reserved it at noon.

There’s a Facebook album on the Hakkasan page that has a bunch of photos from that night, taken inside the club.  You can find that here.  Frankly, that album does not do justice to the show I saw outside the club, either walking by the poker room when I was playing, or that I saw wondering around the casino when I took a break from poker.  There was just a whole lot of female flesh on display, in various and sundry ways.

Not all of the interesting costumes I saw were sexy.  One of the cleverest, but extremely simple, costumes was a guy wearing a business suit, a white dress shirt, and glasses.  The shirt was unbuttoned halfway down, and under the shirt was a Superman T-shirt.  So the costume was, Clark Kent in the middle of turning into Superman.  I really liked that.

I saw this guy on the way from the poker to the Men’s Room. Then, oddly enough, I saw a cute blonde girl using almost the same idea actually playing poker at a nearby table. She had the white shirt (either no jacket, or it was on her chair) and a man’s tie, completely undone, hanging from either side of the shirt.  She too had a Superman T-shirt underneath.  But was she supposed to be Superman or Supergirl?  The t-shirt was v-necked, showing a bit of cleavage (not much), so that would make you think she was Supergirl.  But it was a man’s shirt and a man’s tie, so maybe she was Superman?  A girl could dress up as a guy for Halloween, surely (or even if her name was Shirley).  I was a little confused, but maybe she was really Clark Kent/Superman and was just showing a little cleavage anyway, for the hell of it.  Why am I complaining about this?

But as I said, it was the sexy costumes that caught most of my attention. Surprise.  On another bathroom break, I saw a nearly topless girl.  I have no idea what the costume was supposed to be, but the girl was naked from the waste up, covered only by a small amount of something silver covering her nipples.  It might have been tape (as mentioned in this post), but it looked more like paint or make-up. 
 
So in essence, this was similar to the woman I saw a few nights later on Fremont St (see here).  But no, no, no, this was really not like that at all.

Unlike the woman on Fremont St, whose ginormous breasts looked awful so exposed, this particularly gal had absolutely the perfect breasts to display in such a fashion.  They were just the right size—and shape—to pull off this look successfully.  And they were definitely real. Unlike the Fremont woman, this gal was not going to accidentally knock someone to the side of her over as she walked around.  I believe the covering was star-shaped.  I have no idea what the costume was.  I can’t remember what she was wearing on the bottom.  But it worked for me.

I’ve included a couple of pictures I found on the internet below, similar to the girl I saw.  However, I think the closest example is the picture I included in the entry I actually posted on Halloween (see here).  The girl I saw in person had slightly larger boobs and was “wearing” slightly less paint on them.





Actually, a lot of the costumes were of characters I couldn’t identify.  I think in some cases, they were just made up characters, but I’m sure many were based on pop culture characters I’m just old to know about.  And I think a lot of folks just put some make-up on and some kind of cape or other costume-like bit of apparel and make stuff up.

One of the weird things was that I saw two girls at different times basically wearing nothing but a bra and panties.  I swear they were not bikinis, it really looked like bra and panties to me.  Although, if they were bikinis, I’m not sure what the costume was—“Girl looking for pool”?  But then, I’m not sure “Girl in bra and panties” is much of a costume either.  “Girl asking, ‘Where did I put my dress?’” Not that I’m complaining.

One of the gals was just walking in from the parking lot towards the club, with some guy not in costume.  She had some bracelet on (maybe that was the key to the costume) and as I was passing her, she had yanked the bracelet off and just threw it to the ground in disgust.  No idea what that was all about.  Maybe she realized she was overdressed—the bra and panties didn’t really need a bracelet.

The other bra-and-panties clad girl was near the club, trying, unsuccessfully it seemed, to get in it.  She was wearing a totally see-through, flesh-colored, knit cover-up over, well, basically her underwear.  Just a bra and panties, nothing else.

She was with another girl.  That girl was also wearing just a bra on top, as best I could tell.  It was an extremely low-cut push-up bra that pushed her already ample bosom up and out to an extreme.  And they way her tits were bouncing as she walked, I had to assume they were original factory equipment.  But she was not wearing panties on the bottom.  Oh, maybe she was, but I couldn’t see them, she was wearing a skirt (and not a particular short one—I guess she figured the push up bra was all she needed to get all the attention she could handle).  I have no idea what her costume was supposed to be.

Actually, although nothing like this was visible at MGM, I did hear about a couple of ladies who attended college Halloween parties stark naked.  You can read about it here.  One of them said her costume was “Naked Human.”

Oh come on.  If you’re going to go to a Halloween party in your birthday suit, be at least a little creative with the name of the costume. please.  I mean, why not call yourself Lady Godiva?  OK, you’d probably need a horse.  So call yourself  “Lady Godiva looking for her horse.”

There were lots of girls dressed as angels, with wings and halos.  One girl I saw with the wings was also basically just wearing bra and panties (and the wings, and the halo).  Everything was white.  Except she was wearing two pairs of panties.  Underneath the white, very lacy, very see-through panties was a pair of black panties.  If not for the black panties, she definitely could have been arrested.  Honestly, she really was no angel.

Anyway, there was a shitload of boobage on display, and from all sides and all angles.  But that wasn’t all.  A lot of the gals wore costumes that showed a lot of bare midriff.  I have to say, I find a girl showing off a flat stomach every bit as attention getting and as sexy as a girl showing a lot of cleavage.  Yeah, I said that.  Unfortunately, there were a lot of girls showing bare midriff that didn’t have the stomachs for it (so-to-speak).   Still, there was a lot more good than bad.

And of course there was a whole lot of leg and a whole lot of butts.  You see, many of the girls wore super-heroine costumes, or super-heroine-like outfits, and most of these were not very good at covering the buttocks (thank you!).  Some of the girls were showing at least a third of their buttocks and some as much as half.  I didn’t see any pure thongs (wonder if that would be allowed) but some were pretty darn close.

One costume I did recognize was a girl dressed up as Lady Gaga.  She was wearing something on her head that she was having trouble balancing.  A guy (dressed “normal”) was accompanying her and she was holding his hand as she walked gingerly to the club, as that headpiece was resting quite precariously on her head.  I know this will shock you but the outfit that this pseudo Lady Gaga wore was quite revealing in pretty much every area that a guy might be interested in.

There were a lot of girls dressed as Playboy Bunnies.  These were actually some of the least sexy costumes.  Shows you have times have changed.  Considered sexy in the 1960’s when they were introduced, they are rather tame by today’s standards.  Same thing—even more so—for a lot of girls who were dressed as Flappers (from the 1920’s).

Another popular category was jungle girls (this is where a lot of those bare midriffs came from).  Also, sexy nurses.  Who knew nurses could show so much cleavage?  And leopards.  A lot of girls dressed as leopards.  Some of those leopard suits were extremely skin tight.  I noticed.

There were even some jungle guys—Tarzan types I guess—showing off their bare (or painted) chests but I didn’t really pay much attention to them.

One of the “easy” ways out for the girls was to put on little cat ears in the hair, maybe pencil in some whiskers on their upper lip, and put a tale on their asses and go as a cat.  Many of these girls were just wearing their normal “Slut Parade” uniform except for the ears and the added tale.

There was one girl I saw in a “real” cat suit—skin tight, cut all the way down to her buttocks in the back, and showing a lot of side boob.  It was so tight in the front I could tell the poor girl was quite cold.  Or maybe she was just happy to see me.

I should mention that a lot of the girls didn’t dress up at all, and just wore their normal club-going clothes.  Which, as I’ve previously reported, is pretty attention-getting as it is.

In that category, there was a girl with perhaps the most risqué outfit of the night.  It was ridiculously low cut—down well past her belly button.  And wide open at top.  The “exposed” area was “covered” with a see through mesh.  That was presumably for modesty’s sake, but in reality, it was actually more to keep the entire dress from just coming totally apart.  As it was, the cut was so low in the front that you knew the young lady had had a very recent visit to the waxing salon.  If she had not, she would have been revealing her true hair color (although I think this gal was a brunette anyway—although I’m not sure my eyes ever got high enough to notice).

That’s about it for my Halloween Slut Parade report.  There actually were some very well-done, very elaborate, non-sexy costumes that were worth looking at—from both guys and girls.  It’s just that, the next day, the ones I described here are the ones I remember.

Odd, isn’t it?

15 comments:

  1. i think i am going to have to start a new tradition and go to vegas on halloween. LMAO

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    1. Well, only go if you're not offended by women wearing almost no clothing.

      You've been warned.

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    2. that is the only reason to go.that and the deep fried oreos and twinkies

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    3. Deep fried Oreos and twinkies? Never seen that in Vegas. Do you have Vegas confused with a state fair?

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    4. Hah! I guess Vegas is known for them. Who knew? Just found this link:

      http://www.vegaschatter.com/story/2011/12/5/1433/73899/vegas-travel/Who+Does+Deep-Fried+Decadence+Better%3F+The+Strip+or+Downtown%3F

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  2. You have never had the deep fried oreos! Fremont street my friend.

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    1. Hmm, thanks, Daniel. Not really recommended for me by my doctor. OTOH, they would seem to be an excellent choice as a method of suicide, should I ever decide to go that route.

      Where, specifically, on Fremont, does one go for these?

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    2. i think it is the casino (small one) no table games next to the glitter glutch

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    3. What the heck would you know about the Glitter Gulch, anger?

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    4. Mermaids casino. I think they just have slots and fried food. You are right, one of the worse things for your heart but it's one of those once a decade type foods.

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    5. Thanks again, Daniel. I know the place, they usually have a couple of "Mermaids" outside handing out fliers and coupons. One day maybe I'll give it a try.

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  3. This reminds me of Halloween in the movie Mean Girls. Essentially all of the girls just wear lingerie and some kind of animal ears. At their party one girl asks the other what she is supposed to be and she points to the ears on her head and says, "I'm a mouse...duh."

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    1. Yeah. Maybe that's where they got the idea (?)

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  4. Most disgusting post you have ever written. Disgusting in that I wasn't there.

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    1. There's always next year, my friend.

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