Sunday, December 27, 2015

Even The Hookers Are in Reruns This Time of Year

So this is my mid-Vegas Christmas season update.

Things didn't start too well. I have a bad, long tournament experience to report—it literally stunk.  Already told you about the bad suckout I had last week (see here).  A couple of nights later I had a real good nite—so good that I posted a pic of my stack under the title "chip porn" on Twitter.  That was basically the result of two big hands that I probably played badly.  I owe you guys that report too.

Yesterday I had a better—but still frustrating—tournament to write up for you.  Yes, I cashed, and no, it wasn't the dreaded min-cash.  But still, it will give me a chance to once again vent about how much I hate current tournament payout structures.  Honestly, they suck.  I think I may have to use my vast influence in the poker world to lobby tournament directors to make their payouts more fish friendly.  But that's a rant for another time.

But I need to be brief for this post.  Shouldn't be a problem for me, right?  So I'll just tell you about my brief hooker encounter from last nite.  Because everyone loves a hooker story, right?

It was approaching midnite and I was just wandering around a certain Big Strip Casino, enjoying the atmosphere (yeah, that's a good word for it) when, walking towards the lobby I noticed an attractive black woman just sitting in front of a slot machine, looking at the passersby.  Before I even got near her my spidey-sense alerted me to her probable occupation.  This was confirmed when I heard her say, "Hey baby, whatcha doing?" to me as I passed by her.  I didn't turn towards her at all, just kept walking.  I wasn't really in the mood to chat with a working girl.

But then, about 20 minutes later, I was walking up in the opposite direction.  I was actually walking away from the area where ladies-of-the-evening are known (by me, at least) to congregate.  Earlier, I had seen a woman who I recognized as a professional.  I turned away to avoid her. I recalled that I had already talked to this woman on a previous Vegas visit.  It was many months ago, possibly even a few years ago.  But I was sure she had tried to solicit me some time ago, even if the details were fuzzy.  In fact, I recalled seeing her either earlier this trip or on a previous recent trip (like maybe the Halloween trip). I was actually sure I had seen her multiple times since the time we chatted.

She kinds of stands out, that's why I recall her.  She has light red hair, and is a tad older than most of the girls who you see working this casino.  She was wearing tight, ripped jeans and high heels (kind of a weird combination).  She was not exceptional flashy looking, that's for sure.  Top was rather plain, showing just a little bit of cleavage.

Anyway, as I was making my way away from the lobby, we passed each other and I purposely looked away.  I actually think we had passed earlier and she didn't say anything, and I wondered if she remembered me and knew I was a waste of her time.

But this time, a few seconds after we had passed each other, I felt a pat on my back and turned around; it was her.  "Hi, where are going?"  I kind of shrugged and she said, "We've talked before, haven't we?  I remember you."

Well that was true, but of course, that line could be said to anyone just as way of starting a conversation.  But since I was sure we had talked, I believe she did indeed recognize me.

I confirmed that I remembered her as well.  So she said, "Why don't we have a drink together?"
I said no, I wasn't interested.

"Oh come on.  It's really cold outside, isn't it?"  That was certainly true  I said no.  "Actually, I have no money.  I lost tonight."  That was a lie, I'm happy to report.

"Oh, stop lying."  How did she know?

She asked where I was from.  I dunno why I told her the truth, but I did.  "L.A."

"Oh yes, I should have remembered that."  Now, I couldn't recall all the details of our previous conversation, but after talking to her I was sure that she was one of the ladies I'd had more than a two-word conversation with and I probably did tell her that I was from L.A.  Seems rather harmless info to reveal.  In fact, talking to her last nite, I was sure that we had a very similar conversation the last time and I was trying to remember if I ever blogged about our encounter.

In the meantime, I noticed the bit of cleavage she was showing and came to a snap decision that it was very possible she still had her original factory installed equipment, which would be rather unusual for her profession.

She reiterated her suggestion that we have a drink. I said, "No, sorry, I really just want to get to bed."  Then, realizing what I had said, I added, "Alone."

She wasn't giving up, and asked if I came to L.A. alone or with friends.  I kind of fumbled around with my response. "Alone….but I come to see friends.  I have friends here…….I actually have a girlfriend here." OK, that was a fib.

She said, "Oh that's nice.  So tonight you could have two girlfriends."

Hmm…..wasn't sure if she meant a three-way or that she would just be filling in for the night.  I suppose it might depend on how big my sockroll was.

I said no thanks.  I told her I had to get going and she said ok, and patted me on the chest.  She actually patted me on the chest or shoulder a few times during the conversation.  Hmm…I supposed I could have returned the favor and patted her on the chest too—for a price.

I took off and so did she.  This encounter left me scratching my head to recall if I had actually written here about our previous encounter.  I knew we had had an extended conversation, like the one we'd just had, so I would have bet it was blog worthy material.  I couldn't recall writing about it though.

So today I tried to scan through all my hooker posts to find it.  Initially, I remembered a post I entitled "A Very Personable Hooker", and figured that had to be it.  She was very personable.  But I reread that post and the lady in question was blonde.  I give fake names to people, but not fake hair color.  I suppose the gal last night may have dyed her hair since, but I have to say, it was very natural looking.  I suppose I might have found out if it was indeed her natural color had I accepted her proposal.  But let's face it, these days, it's unlikely the evidence would be there. And besides, one of the reasons that I remembered this lady was because of her red hair, I recognized the red hair.

After a quick review of all my hooker posts, I was unable to locate a report on our previous encounter.  Damn, it would have been so much better if I could link back to it.  So you'll just have to trust me on this:  Last night's hooker was a Christmas season rerun.


  1. Sounds pushy and won't take no for an andwer. That's consistent with my experiences.


  2. sooooooooo an attractive black lady wantsto alk and u say no BUT a white chick says hi and u talk forever . not only r u at war with christmas but u r a bigot too did either lady have big ole tittays C+++++++++ on this post

    1. The white chick was extremely pushy and tracked me down, after I tried hard to avoid her. The black woman was polite and respectful. I didn't want to talk to either.

      Breasts were average as far as I could tell on both ladies, although I don't usually notice that at all, as you know.

      C+....what you don't realize is that I not only found a redhead with cleavage but her hair color was almost the same as the hooker. I should get extra credit for that. Most of the big titted redheads I found on the web had more reddish hair which didn't look like the gal I spoke to.

    2. shld go with big ole tittays over correct tint of red hair .imo

    3. You have a fetish, anger. Those tittays are plenty big enough for me.

  3. Rob, I think it is time that you give something back to the community of hookers in Las Vegas. Please consider hosting a topless tennis tournament or something like that...

    1. Hmm, that idea has possibilities. I do worry that it would unhealthy for most of the ladies to play a sport such as tennis without wearing a sports bra.

      I also worry about the spectators incurring neck injuries.

    2. I am all about the compromise... if a participant chooses not to wear a sports bra she can used the doubles lines in her opponents side of the court.

      As for spectator injuries it is better than catching a broken bat that pokes your eye out!

    3. Or a fly ball on the head.