Thursday, March 1, 2012

A Very Personable Hooker

Ok, since readers seemed to enjoy my last hooker story here, and since I just now had an face to face encounter with a woman whose vagina is for rent, I thought I'd blog the story right away while it's still fresh in my mind.

After a profitable session of poker (about which I hope to blog about later) at BCS just now, I walked toward the parking area and came to the slot area where I have seen literally hundreds of hookers (not at all once) over the past few years.

Getting close to the main areas where hookers patrol, I saw a young man talking to a blonde woman in the aisle.  My Spidey-sense immediately went off.  Having observed many hookers over the years, I can usually tell by the look of the couple (or more than a couple) and also by body language if I am looking at an established couple or a possible business discussion.  Of course when I see the woman approach the guy, it's easier, but these two had been talking before I arrived on the scene.

The gal was fairly attractive, long blonde hair, good figure, very high heels.  But she was wearing pants, tight pants to be sure, but not the mini-skirt that most (but no all) hookers wear.  From a distance I couldn't tell much about the top she was wearing other than that it too was tight.  As an aside, it has been my observation over the years that the actual Vegas hookers do not dress any near as sluttily as the regular young girls who come to Vegas to go clubbing and party, i.e, the non-professional girls.  Really, the gals who dress up for a night of clubbing, who are students or who have real jobs generally show an absurd amount of exposed flesh, almost too much to be allowed on the street.  A straight guy looking for eye candy could do a lot worse than just walk by the line of club-goers waiting to get admitted to a hot club in Vegas.  I swear if their fathers saw these gals dressed as they do in Vegas, they'd all have heart attacks.

Anyway, if a gal is dressed too sluttily, you can be sure she is not a hooker.  Hookers dress provocatively but they do show some restraint, unlike the club-goers.  The blonde I was looking at was dressed too modestly by Vegas club-going standards to be out for a night on the town.  But she was dressed just barely sexily enough to be a hooker.

I like to watch the interaction between hooker and would-be john and I only wish I could hear the conversation as well.  I tried to find a place to hide while still seeing the two talk without drawing the attention of either.  But I was sure the blonde had seen me.  After a few minutes, the guy headed one way and the blonde came into the slot area where on some nights, it is hot and cold running hookers. Apparently the blonde couldn't close the deal.

I tried to walk out of her sight and direction as I wasn't really looking to be approached by her.  But my efforts failed.  She came over towards me, then actually went past for me for a second, silently, which surprised me.  But then after a second or two, I sensed she stopped walking and sure enough I heard her say, "Hello.' 

I wasn't looking at her but there was no one else around so I knew she was talking to me.  I guess the possibility of getting blogging material was on my mind, because of instead of ignoring her and moving on, as I usually do, I turned to her and said Hi.

OK, I was involved in a conversation with a hooker.  Not the first time, but the first time recently.

She asked what I was doing.  I said I was just wondering around (actually pretty much the truth, tho I didn't add, "well, I'm looking for hookers so I can blog about them.")

She asked where I was from.  I said L.A., for some reason telling her the truth.
She then started chatting up a storm, becoming the chattiest and most personable hooker that I can recall.  She told me she was from Honolulu.  That was surprising....she looked about as Hawaiian as I do.  So I said, "Oh really, you don't look Hawaiian."

"Oh I'm not."  By now I had noticed a couple of things, and I don't mean her tits. Well, actually I am referring to her tits as one of the two things I noticed.  They were really quite large, and the top was cut to reveale a whole lot of cleavage.  The cleavage wasn't that noticable from a distance but up close, standing right next to her and looking down, wow, I got quite an eyeful.  They most definitely looked paid for, I would say there is a 99% chance this lady had paid some plastic surgeon for her breasts some time back.  The way they looked, plus her relatively trim waist revealed by the tight top made it pretty apparent she was not working strictly with original factory-installed equipment.

The other thing I noticed was that this non-Hawaiian blonde had a very non-Hawaiian accent, a totally unidentifiable one, at least to me. So she neither looked nor sounded Hawaiian.  She said she was of Sicilian heritage and told me how she ended up being born in Hawaii.  I didn't really follow this, but then she mentioned moving to Vegas with a (I think) 4 year old child.  But I have to say, her weird accent didn't seem at all Italian to me, either.  She blathered on for a few minutes but I didn't catch a lot of what she was saying as I was too focused on her fake tits trying to figure out a way to extricate myself from this conversation.

Finally she stopped talking about herself long enough to get to the point.  'So, are you here alone?"

Instantly I realized I had a way of bringing this conversation to a close--or to see if she would take the discussion to a whole 'nother level that would make for a really  interesting post.

I lied and said, "No, my wife is upstairs waiting for me."

She paused for a second or two.  Then she said, "Oh.  Well, I guess that means we can't have fun tonight."

There was an awkward pause as I said nothing.  I was wondering if she would suggest a way around this seeming problem.  But after a few seconds of silence, she just said, 'Well, too bad we can't have any fun together.  Have a good night."  And with that, she turned away from me started looking for her next potential client.

And that was that.  I walked around a bit more, saw two Black hookers talking to one guy, and the one that was not actively talking to the guy saw me and said "How are you" to me and gave me a big smile.  I ignored her so she could give her full attention to the prospect in front of me.  I left the area soon there after, noticing the blonde walking around busy sniffing out her next unattached guy.

29 comments:

  1. Well, I've learned something new today.
    They are not fake, they are not falsies, they aren't paid for or bought or even surgically altered, they are just not "factory installed."

    As fair warning I loved that line and will be stealing it and using it somewhere/somehow in the future.

    Also, I'm going to have to make this long walk with you at some point and we can have a father/son discussion and you can show me what it is you look for in a hooker because I'm probably the most oblivious guy in the world when it comes that way.
    I notice a hooker the moment she approaches me and starts the small talk (because this would never happen if she didn't want money out of me). But other than that - I never seem to notice. Maybe I'm not paying enough attention or trying to find a good story. Keep up the good investigative reporting sir.

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    1. Yes, that is a great description. I was going to mention the term "after-market" as a description for fake ones but I see my pal Norm has beaten me to it. Fair enough since as far as I know, he is the originator of both phrases. Norm is also the pal who was with me long ago when that NY hooker with the awful voice offered us the most unappealing offer of a blowjob in the history of mankind.

      That is an AWESOME idea, the two of us going to "hooker central" and waiting for girls to approach us. We MUST do that the next time we get together. We would have girls approaching us by the dozens because, let's be honest, we both look like guys who haven't had any bush since, well, the Bush Administration. And I don't mean "W".

      We can compose a story that we can use for when they approach us and wait for the fun as they try to bag the both of us. We'd both have enough material to fill our blogs for months.

      My only issue is that since I am not interested in buying what they are selling, I do feel guilty taking up these ladies' time with me when they could be talking to more willing buyers. But hey, its an occupational hazard for them.

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    2. Oh, and I guess maybe I should do a blog post, "How to spot a Vegas Hooker" but you know, it's hard to put into words. It's sort of like porn, you know it when you see it, or at least I do. But when we go out "hooker-spotting" I will tell you why or why not I think any specific gal we come across is a pro.

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    3. You know Rob, I would not feel guilty at all because everyone was put on this earth for my entertainment - or something.

      If someone approaches me and wastes a few moments trying to get me in the sack because I look like I'm in desperate need of a good time, then she is choosing to waste her time.
      Think of it this way - She is a salesperson - do different than someone trying to sell you a fridge or a car. They are not going to strike gold every single time they approach a customer, but they more they approach the more likely they are to at least get something out of it eventually.
      Do you feel guilty letting a salesperson show you the advantages of one appliance over another and then not buy? It's the same principal - He's trying to earn commission and she's trying to get a fat tip left on the dresser.

      We both are just looking for good blog stories to propel us into fame and misfortune :)

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    4. Good points, but the difference is that most of the time, if a salesperson comes up to me and says, "Can I help you?"--if I say "yes" and ask him a question, there's at least a chance he or she could make a sale. With the hooker there's no chance she could make the sale.

      I suppose I could ask, "Well, what services do you offer, what is the price of each service and most importantly, is there a money back guarantee if I'm not completely satisfied?" but I don't thank would work. Would make for a great blog post, tho.

      Hmm....now that I'm into this blogging thing I guess I should re-think how fast I want to get away from these ladies of negotiable virtue. The longer I chat with them, the longer and better the subsequent blog post. This very post is already the 4th most popular on the blog, and it's only been up (so-to-speak) for less than 2 days! I guess my readers love hookers!

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  2. I always preferred the term "after-market"

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    1. Actually both terms are valid, "after-market" for the fakes, "original factory-installed equipment" for the real ones, or OFE for short. They're both yours, right? Or did you steal them from someone else?

      You see Prudence--yes, I know you're reading this--Norm here is really the guy who is obsessed with bosoms...and proud of it.

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    2. Norm, you're my type of guy.
      I'd buy you a beer for sharing such a wonderful phrase.

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    3. Yes, both of those phrases are mine.

      Although I don't know why Prudence would think I was tit-obsessed; I always said I was easily titillated: I see tits, I'm elated! Or, you could just say I am a sucker for a nice set of tits.

      Thanks for the offer grrouchie, but I am not sure when the next time I will be in Vegas (not having been back in almost five years; partially due to having moved fairly far away so that Reno is closer; partially due to the fact that I am a low-roller at the games I play [which does not include Poker], and Vegas has gotten too expensive for my tastes).

      But if I ever go back, I'll have Rob link us up (though not for a beer; I'm a diet soda guy).

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  3. As usual, now I want another "hooker story" please. In the future please gather details including price and services offered.

    Please realize that probably 99%+ of the population NEVER has a conversation with a hooker, let alone a "romp". I think if you "took this gal upstairs", you'd have the blog of the century. I'd REALLY want details at that point.

    Keep up th good work Rob

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    1. Thanks for the encouragement, Woody.

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  4. I call bullshit on this story. You said:

    "Then she said, 'Oh. Well, I guess that means we can't have fun tonight.' There was an awkward pause as I said nothing."

    Yeah -- tell us what REALLY happened:

    "Then she said,'Oh. Well, I guess that means we can't have fun tonight.' There was an awkward pause as I said 'I just killed it at the poker table. How much we talkin', baby? Whatcha got to offer? I am da man tonight.'"

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    1. Heh heh, you made me laugh, lightning. I was sure someone would suggest that I wasn't being total forthcoming in my telling of the tale. But no, he story as told is true.

      NOW....if I was inclined to take these ladies up on their offers of vagina-rental, I would probably start a separate blog, under a totally different name, to post those tales.

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    2. I can understand not wanting people who read this blog and know you to know that you actually pay for sex.

      I'm not as discriminating - If I pay for sex I will proudly talk about it in my blog. You are reading that right - read about how grrouchie got his noodle wet for a small fee - I'll even compare it to the various "free-be's" I've had lol

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    3. grrouchie, with your attitude, you may want to pay for it just to get a great blog post. Readers seem to love hooker stories, imagine how popular one with a happy ending would be! For sure Anonymous (see comment above) would read it with great interest. No doubt it would become your most read post in no time.

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  5. I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on the criteria a working girl uses to choose her potential John.

    I posed this question to Grrouchie this morning. He had some interesting ideas. He also told me about his the times he was propositioned. Glad he didn't tell me when they happened because I probably would have punched him in the bald spot.

    I also think these ladies are sexist. Living my entire life in this stink pot I have never been asked on a "date". What gives?!

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Carmel. I will likely blog more about this topic in the future (due to popular demand) but I have to say, the criteria is pretty simple. If they see a guy, or two guys, or even a group of guys and there is no female with them....that's the target demo. I suppose if they have a choice of a younger guy or and older guy, they go to the older guy because they figure the younger guy would have an easier time picking up the ultra slutty looking club-goers I described in my post without actually paying them for their services.

      As for never being approached by a prostitute, I'm sure the explanation is that they take one look at you and know that you would never, ever have to actually pay someone for sex, you could easily get it for free any time you wanted.

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  6. where do u find women in laughlin who are affectionate and need money? and when is carmen ever gonna start up her blog again if shes out and living at the salvation army?

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    1. The few times I've been in Laughlin, I saw exactly zero hookers, sorry. And I know a lot less about Carmen than you do...again sorry.

      But I do want to thank you for adding me to your blogroll, Tony. I really appreciate it.

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    2. the main casino bar at river palms has $150 full service

      carmen is ignoring u for a reason bro

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    3. Wow, just guessing that's a lot cheaper than Vegas, Anony!

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  7. So little for sex, really?

    Last two people I was with bought me houses. I got a car out of one of them to.

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    1. Wow, Carmel...that's impressive. You must be GOOD! I guess you really know your way around a schlong.

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  8. you want a funny hooker story. This happened to me a couple years ago at the Sahara. Well i had just gotten off work and had some free play there. It was about 8am. I wasdressed in a suit with a briefcase. Now at the time i was doing security at a small offstrip hotel. I had my suit coat on with tie and everything. On the small of my back was a handcuff case with cuffs inside. Of course this was not in plain view. Now I am sitting at a bar all alone playing video BJ just trying to do my free play. This Skinny Black hooker walks up and starts chatting with me. I am not interested, but she is not taking no for an answer. I then don't know what got into me, when she asked if i wanted to go upstairs for like the 5th time, I reached into the small of my back .....pulled out the handcuffs and held them up and dangled them in front of her, it was at this point she saw on my hip was also a security badge. She didn't say another word she just ran out the doors.

    Now I got a good laugh out of this at the time. Now fast forward 3 weeks later, i am at same bar dressed in same suit, but without the briefcase. Same Hooker comes up and tries hitting on me again. I chuckle, and tell her.... "You must not remember me." She says she doesnt remember me. At this point i pull out the handcuffs and dangle them in front of her again. At this point she says "OH SHIT. Now I remember you." and she in turn runs out the doors again.

    Now the whole time Sahara's security is watching all this happen. The Security Supervisor, comes up to me and asks who I am, and when i tell her the whole story, she laughs and says.... "I like how you handled that situation, but next time leave the cuffs at home." I laugh, and finish my free play.

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    1. I'm shocked that she didn't say, "Oh, if you wanna use the cuffs, that's a couple of hundred extra!

      Great story, tho, MiB, thanks.

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    2. i was expecting her to say something along that effect, but she didnt. Of course if she did it woulda made for a better story

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    3. She might have if you hadn't scared the crap out of her! Hmm....perhaps I'll carry around a pair of FURR lined hand cuffs with me for the next time I anticipate running into a hooker. If she knows for sure they aren't department-issue, maybe she'll go along with the gag.

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