Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Blogger Who Grabbed My Ass

Continuing with my intention of spewing out tales of poker and debauchery from my current Vegas trip in drips and drabs, this post concerns the social aspect of the All Vegas Poker Meet & Greet Tournament that took place this past Saturday night.  But there will be no poker content in this post; that will have to wait for another time.  The main point of this post is that there were more than a few bloggers present, you know, the bloggers that are part of this little blogging community we seem to have going.  And one very famous blogger grabbed, fondled, rubbed and squeezed my ass. 

Which one?  Well, it sure as hell wasn’t grrouchie, despite the fact that he very recently blogged about having spent 8 to 10 years of his life wearing skirts and fishnets and claims to have gone to his senior prom in a dress.  And it wasn’t Lightning, even though one of the first stories he told me when we met a few days earlier was how when he first met Waffles in Vegas, they had sex together the very first nite.  And it wasn’t even Carmel, even though doing that would seem rather tame compared to some of the antics she’s admitted to on her blog. 
Nope….it was Josie that grabbed my ass.  Yes, sweet, innocent Josie, who always seems to have men harassing her, fondling her, giving her unwanted attention, begging for affection from her.  The very same Josie who just complained about the Sylvester Stallone look-alike who inappropriately felt her up right on Freemont Street the other day.
That Josie.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.  Before the tournament started, I got to the Mirage early and ran into both Stump and grrouchie.  I almost didn’t recognize grrouchie because he wasn’t wearing his traditional Pittsburgh Steelers baseball cap and he was playing 2/5 instead of 1/2—so clearly he was in over his head.   But he was wearing a totally cool craps shirt. I decided just to chill out and relax before the tournament (and the free pizza), rather than try to get in a cash game. 
Once it got close to pizza-serving time, name tags were handed out.  Someone who noticed mine introduce himself as a fan of my blog.  We’ll call him “Kingsmen” because that’s his screen name on AVP (I was actually thinking of calling him “Queensman” here but I thought he might not be thrilled with that).  Anyway, he is much younger than I am (but then, who isn’t) and after telling me he likes the blog, he told me he was expecting me to be much younger.  I chuckled.  I said something like, “Yeah, well, I guess that’s because of my juvenile sense of humor.”  He laughed, and said, “Well, it’s a great subject.”  I believe he illustrated his point by extending his hands out in front of his chest.  I’m pretty sure that was a reference to women’s breasts although I honestly have no idea how he would associate them with my blog.
By the way, Kingsmen was one of the players the next night I had fun with in the HORSE game I described here. A good guy to be sure.
Another fan of some blogs from AVP who I met was Lindy99.  Lindy was particularly excited to say hello to grrouchie, Lightning and Josie and tell them how much he loved their blogs.  About my blog, he said nothing.  But that’s ok.  Apparently my blog is just classy for his tastes. 
Another person I met before the tournament began is Koala. Koala is the extremely nice guy from Australia who comes to Vegas every year for six weeks, and is the one who organized the TBC tournament that was taking place the next nite.
Then I noticed a tall woman talking to grrouchie.  Even from the back, I recognized Carmel.  Now earlier, I had tweeted that I was waiting at the Mirage.  Carmel tweeted to me that she would see me soon, and asked what I was wearing.  So of course I sent the following tweet back to her, “Nothing. I’m stark naked.”
Carmel responded, “Easy, Just like I like my men.”  To which I replied, “Yeah I figured.”
Anyway, I recognized her and tapped her on the shoulder.  I just said hi and waited for her to figure out who I was.  It took her awhile. Grrouchie had to tell her, in fact.  We hugged and had some time to chat before the poker started.
Let me describe Carmel just a bit.  She is tall.  I mean really, really tall.  An Amazon, really.  Pretty sure she’s at least 7 feet tall.  And there’s something else big about her that I really didn’t notice.  I mean, I never usually notice a woman’s bust, but because Carmel talks about her chest so much on her blog, I did force myself to sneak a peak.  All I will say is that she has been very generously blessed in that area by Mother Nature.
But there’s something even bigger about Carmel.  Much bigger. It is her smile.  Her smile is humongous.  It almost literally lit up the room.  She is also extremely friendly and gregarious.  We had a nice chat, and she expressed her surprise at meeting me.  She told me I wasn’t at all what she expected.  She thought I would look older than I do (Carmel, meet Kingsmen).
We had a nice chat.  Lightning showed up at some point and joined the fun.  Lightning would eventual entertain Carmel once the poker started, having decided that he had had his fill of poker tournaments.  Lightning however, was Josie-less.  Apparently, the blogger everyone wanted to meet was running late.  I suspect that she just wanted to make an “entrance.”  I briefly said hi to PokerGrump who of course was also playing, although as with the next nite at Tony’s tournament, he was one of the first to bust out.  I assume he just wasn’t dealt the mighty deuce-four enough times in either event.
During the first break (and the only break for me, sadly), I noticed Josie had finally shown up.  She actually left her table early, before the break started, because she had so many chips she didn’t need to try to win any more. Or something like that.  She gave me a warm greeting, and then all the bloggers congregated in the middle of the poker room during the break.  Josie met grrouchie for the first time, but they didn’t really have much time to chat.  Cameras were taken out and pictures were taken.  One from this event is already posted on Josie’ blog (linked above).  After some photos of the bigger group, Josie insisted that a picture be taken of her with me, just the two of us.
So we got close to each other for the photo.  We of course put our hands around each other’s shoulders. Of course, I was a perfect gentleman the entire time.
Josie?  Not so much.  Soon, as we were waiting for the pictures to be snapped, she started giving me a shoulders and upper back rub.  Then her hand went lower, rubbing the middle of my back.  Then even lower, rubbing my lower back.
Then….her hand was all over my ass.
Yeah, my ass. 
She rubbed it, she patted it. She squeezed it.  Before I knew it, she had given me a more thorough ass examination than I got the last time I visited a proctologist.  And it goes without saying, if I had done that to her, I could have easily gotten arrested.  Talk about your double-standards!
Anyway, in addition to fondling my butt, Josie felt the need to adjust her top for the picture.  She felt that she just wasn’t exposing enough cleavage initially, so she pulled down her top a bit. As the first picture was being taken, someone (I think it was Lightning but am not sure) yelled out that I should be looking down Josie’s top.  Of course, I would never have done that, being such a gentleman.  Besides, as I stated previously, I’m not really much of an aficionado of the bosom.
But Josie liked that idea, so again, being a gentleman, I complied.  Before the next picture was taken, she practically lowered her top all the way.  To go all along with the request, I had no choice but to look down at what she was now revealing. It would have been rude—and insulting—to have done anything else.  So a picture was taken with me looking down her top in a very exaggerated way.  She pretended to be surprised that I had taken advantage of the opportunity. “You looked!”  Well duh.  Again, I couldn’t insult Josie by not looking.  Besides, it was very impressive, what she was showing. Even a guy like me, with no particular interest in that part of the female anatomy, could appreciate it.  I can’t wait to see the picture on her blog.  I asked her to send it to me, but she hasn’t yet.  But I guess it will be on her blog soon. ((Edited to add: Josie has now posted the picture I'm referring to in her latest post, which you can find here.))
One thing I missed, because Josie showed up so late, was the titanic meeting of Carmel and Josie.  They are such a mismatch height-wise that their hug must have been quite a scene.  They had already joked about it on their blogs—Josie would essentially be “motorboating” Carmel.  And unfortunately, I didn’t get to see that.
The break was soon over and unfortunately, I didn’t last in the tournament very long after it resumed.  I ended up in a cash game.  Meanwhile, I had sent a text to Prudence updating my tournament status.  I had told her about the tournament and the fact that all the bloggers were gonna be there—she knows all of them and frequently reads their blogs—and asked her to join us.  Unfortunately she had something job-related to do.  But it turned out that by now her responsibilities were over and she found herself playing poker at the BSC. In the text I mentioned that Josie had been literally all over my ass. She responded, “Whoa!!! Getting action huh?”
When I noticed that Josie had also busted out, I suggested that we go to BSC she could meet Prudence.  The entire time she was here, Josie kept questioning whether there really was a “Prudence”, or if she was in fact just a figment of my imagination.  This was her chance to meet her face to face.  But she declined.  Poker Grump had already agreed to take her downtown so she could meet Tony, who would just be arriving back in town right about then.  Grump was willing to join Prudence and I at BSC, but was fine with going downtown too. Josie made the call.  Tony over Prudence.  Hope you appreciate that, Tony!  BTW, Grump tried to convince Josie that Prudence existed, having played poker with her before (see here), but Josie remained skeptical.
So they went downtown and I headed to BSC (grrouchie and Lightning were long gone).  It took awhile but I managed to get into the same game as Prudence.  Prudence was indeed on her game, even though she was not drinking this night.  We were initially sitting a few seats away from each other, so we couldn’t converse privately.  That only bothered me, not her.
“So I want to hear all about tonite!  You got your ass grabbed, huh?”  This was said loudly enough for everyone at the table (and probably a few neighboring ones) to hear.  It got everyone’s attention.
“Not that it hasn’t happened many times before.  I’m just saying that it happened tonite.  He got his ass grabbed by a girl with big juggs.”  At least two of the guys at the table (and it was all guys, save Prudence) said, almost in unison, “Yeah, that’s a good thing.”  Someone added, “A very good thing.”
There was a bit more fun from that night at BSC, but I can save it for another time.  I’ve already gotten ass and tits in this post, I’ll save the vagina for another time.
Right now the poker room is calling me.  See ya later.

42 comments:

  1. 1. That pic of the woman grabbing is NOT me. Just wanted to clarify that.

    2. You have a very nice ass and you should know that was me being demure, as it was the beginning of the night. If I'd had a few more drinks in me, I might've grabbed my FAVORITE body part, which is not the ass.

    3. Thank you for my own label! I must've earned it because of what I said to the guy at Golden Nugget when talking about favorite hands. Heh.

    4. I really enjoyed meeting you and like you even more in person! If only I lived closer we'd be hanging out a lot. You're a lot of fun and have a great sense of humor and um, nice ass!

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    1. 1. Yes, I thought that was pretty obvious. You are so much hotter than the gal in that pic.

      2. Oh wow. My ass is blushing, thanks. And double wow....your favorite part, huh? I know what that is.....it is not what people think. In your case it is the testicles. So you would have grabbed my balls, huh? I hope you would have been gentle with them. Of course, if you had grabbed my balls, I would have had to return the favor by being all Rocky Balboa over your big juggs (as described by Prudence). Surely you wouldn't have been upset with that!

      3. Honestly, you earned the label by grabbing my ass, I just didn't want you to quit trying.

      4. Likewise and thanks. We didn't get enough time to play poker and footsie together. If you hadn't dropped off the face of the earth that one morning, almost giving Lightning another heart attack, you could have joined us for lunch and it would have been my treat. Your loss!

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    2. I did not drop off the face of the earth. I spent a couple of hours at the frigging pool and was dripping wet, just out of the shower when hotel security called me. Sheesh! Had I known there was a free lunch involved I would've gotten dressed and joined you but Mr. Angry never mentioned lunch.

      Yes, I was referring to testicles and yes I'd be very careful. Trust me!

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    3. Trust you with my testicles? That's a lot of trust. Naked and wet? My favorite kind of woman!

      But you wouldn't have had to have gotten dressed to join us for the free lunch. In fact, it would have been better if you had not.

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    4. That's a relief that you found my card. I was afraid you had lost it in the casino, and some lowlife might have found it. I actually assumed the woman who called me yesterday to offer me "personal services at a price" had gotten my # from finding my card. She must have gotten it some other way. Hmm.....

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  2. One more thing! The photo of you drooling over my tits will be posted on my blog tomorrow. It's quite um, a sight.

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    1. I can't wait. However, you did promise to send me both of the pics of the two us that were taken. I gave you my # just for that purpose (of course now you can just email them to me). So I would like you to do that when you get a chance. Don't wory, I won't publish them on my blog, I will reserve that right for you, of course. But I would like them when you get a chance. Thanks.

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    2. The pics are on my laptop at home. I'll email them to you tonight. OH!!! I found the card you gave me in my purse!

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  3. One more thing!!! You described Carmel's smile perfectly. Her beautiful smile lit up her face and the room. Wow.

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    1. From your angle, I'm surprised you could even see Carmel's smile. Considering your height differential, I believe there would have been two rather large objects blocking your view.

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  4. he is much younger than I am (but then, who isn’t)

    Ahem!

    I had no choice but to look down at what she was now revealing. It would have been rude—and insulting—to have done anything else

    Ah, I see.

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    1. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, old man.

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  5. "As the first picture was being taken, someone (I think it was Lightning but am not sure) yelled out that I should be looking down Josie’s top. Of course, I would never have done that, being such a gentleman."

    Yeah -- like you had to be forced to do that, Mr I Like Breasts. I took the picture and I don't know who suggested that, that was the quickest act of compliance I had ever seen in my life.

    Hey -- is Prudence around today? I still have seven hours before taking off for the airport.

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    1. Sorry, LightNing, Prudence has left town. She won't return until after you leave. And based on how many chances she had to meet you and missed all of them, I don't think that's a coincidence. Sorry. I can only assume that Tom heard of how irrestible you are to women and ordered her to stay away.

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    2. Of course Prudence "Left town". That's code for she doesn't frigging exist. And I DON'T care that Grump claims to have met her. You probably paid him 50 cents to make that up.

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    3. You think Grump can be bought for a lousy fifty cents??? What do you think he is, a WHORE!!!???

      Oh wait.

      Grrouchie has also met Prudence, quite a few times in fact. But since grrouchie has been so anti-social lately, and barely managed to say hello to you, you may be thinking I made him up too!

      Actually, that one is possible.

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    4. I am a figment of my own imagination

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    5. That's a neat trick. Is that like being "master of your domain"?

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  6. Oh, and btw, get the freakin story straight -- I just SAID that to Waffles. He would never be my type if I were gay anyway.

    Thanks for your "unintentionally" getting the story wrong. : o P

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    1. Heh heh. Of course I got the story wrong on purpose. I did that for the joke. I do that from time to time. I did it to see who would be more upset with the reference--you or Waffles!

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  7. Rob - I go to Vegas twice a year but for God's sake WTF is BSC????

    Thanks.

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    1. If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

      Seriously, Anony, BSC stands for "Big Strip Casino". It is a phony name for my favorite poker room in Vegas, used to protect the innocent and guilty parties alike who work there.

      By now, most people think they have figured out which one it is, but I can neither confirm or deny that they are right.

      But if you play poker in Vegas, it's a pretty good bet you've played there.

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  8. Rob, that is absolutely your best blog yet. Thanks for the stories. Oh and Josie, would you please take Rob upstairs the next time you are in Vegas!

    This blog post is hot even though obviously nothing really naughty actually happened! Even the comments are hot!! Wow, I think I must be getting old. Cheers. Can't wait to get back to Vegas.

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    1. I did this post with you in mind, Anony. But best yet? Even tho there were no "vagina mentionings"? Wow.

      Josie took Lightning, not me upstairs, or vice versa. I assume future blog postings from one or both of them will have the intimate details of their encounter(s).

      I did hear a rumor that security had to be called at one point due to the unusual sounds being heard.

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    2. I did NOT take Lightning upstairs. I visited him in his room. Twice. :)

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    3. "visited" huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? :)

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    4. No, in fact when I entered his room the first time, I announced "No Blow jobs!" so there!

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    5. Oh, so it was just straight sex, huh?

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    6. Definitely NOT, which is probably why LightNing got so angry at me.

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    7. Lightning always talks about how irrestible he is to women, but I saw no evidence of this. I'm pretty sure the one lady (of the evening) who did express in an interest in him was more interested in ManInBlack.

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    8. I took Lightning to the Green Door. Look it up :)

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  9. Gosh, I feel so flattered and humble. Thank you all for the kind words. Disregard the Anthrax I mailed after all those "tall" comments. I was starting to feel like the jolly green giant.

    It was so enjoyable to meet you. Hopefully in December we all get time to socialize.

    Josie you're a lovely person. Rob you aren't all creepy like I was hoping. You're adorable. Maybe Waffles will live up to my expectations!

    In regards to Ol Grrouchie, if you all time your visits right he won't be on his period.

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    1. "Rob you aren't all creepy like I was hoping."

      Wow, that may be the weirdest compliment I've ever gotten. Do I need to apologize for not being as creepy as you hoped. I bet you won't be saying that to Waffles.

      So grrouchie was on the rag, huh? That explains a lot. Including the fishnets.

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  10. Good story, Rob. Keep 'em comin'

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    1. Thanks Dave. You may be singing a different tune when I finally get a chance to talk about the TBC tournament and how you busted me out of it!

      Seriously, it was great to meet you and thanks for the kind words. I think you talked a couple of folks into checking out the blog!

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  11. It's becoming necessary to sit down with a full meal to read your posts and comments to them...

    Josie, Prudence must exist - she has an extremely attractive twitter photo...

    It's funny that someone else was stumped by BSC - I actually mentioned BSC in my blog post today... ;)

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    1. I'm thinking of suing you for copyright violation, Coach.

      BTW, my blog also makes excellent bathroom reading material.

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  12. Come to think of it, you failed to mention how I squealed with delight when I was informed who you were. Also the repeated times I pressed my impressive-Ness against your chest AND the fact that I had to kneel to do so
    :)

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    1. Well, I didn't want to admit publicly that I basic had to motorboat you to hug you Carmel. But it is a mammary, oops, I mean memory, that will live forever in my mind.

      As for squealing with delight, I'm used to women doing that when the meet me. :)

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    2. I made ROB squeal in delight!

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    3. Actually, Josie, what you heard was the sound I always make during a proctological exam.

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