There Actually is a Bad Time to Flop Quads

Ok, before we get to today's regularly scheduled post, which was prepared for you reading pleasure when I was still in L.A., before this current Vegas trip began, I need to propose an important rule change for the  poker tournaments.

I believe this new rule should be immediately adapted by the TDA.

The rule is simple:

A player not in the hand may not verbally predict, request, or suggest a card to come when there is an all-in situation.  A player involved who needs a card can of course request a card, that's fine. But a player not in the hand needs to mind his/her own f-ing business and keep his or her big freaking mouth shut or face severe penalities.

If the card the non-participating player suggests hits, the player who uttered that card should be assessed the following penalty:

He/She is immediately eliminated from the tournament, and all his or her chips shall be turned over to the player who just got sucked out on, which only happened because this asshole uttered the deadly card that hit.

In addition, he/she should be banned from all poker rooms on Earth on the spot.  Further, if he/she has a hot wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, or significant other, the person on the receiving of the suckout may have his/her way with him/her after the tournament, or if not the preferred gender, may offer him/her for sale to the highest bidder.

I think this will definitely improve poker tournament etiquette.  

Of course, you'll have to stay tuned to this space for an eventual explanation of why I decided to suggest this rule.

And now, your regularly scheduled blog post.

For this post, I’m reaching back to November of 2013.

Back at this time, MGM was running three promos.  One was the cash drawings I’ve discussed a lot.  Another was the Sunday/Monday night football promos (pick a random winner for every score).  And then they had one I don’t think I’ve mentioned before.  It was something like Progressive Hourly High Hands.

To win, you not only had to hit a high hand (quads or better), but you had to hit the right hand at the right time.  Each hour had its own hand or hands that would win the prize. Example: between 6 and 7, both AM & PM, you needed either quad 6’s or a 6-high straight flush to win. Between 10 and 11 (AM & PM), it was either quad 10’s or a 10-high straight flush.  If you had a Jack-high straight flush, you got nothing (except, presumably, the pot).  Between 1 & 2, quad Aces, quad Kings or straight flushes to either would win.  For 2, 3, & 4 only quads would win, since you can’t have a 4-high straight flush.

It was progressive.  I’m not sure what they started at (either $50 or $200) but they would add $50 every day it wasn’t hit.  By the time I got to the poker room on this night (which was also a Monday night, so they had the football promo going too), the biggest prize was the 9-10 hour.  It was $2,650 if you got quad 9’s or a 9-high straight flush.  Note: if you did have the 9-high straight flush on the turn (or the flop), this is one time you would want to shove and make sure there was no river card, on the slight chance the river was the 10 of the same suit and thus disqualified you from the bonus, as your hand would be a 10-high straight flush instead of a 9-high straight flush.

The night before, the biggest prize was given away when quad 6’s were hit for the first time since they started the promo.  That winner got $3,500 and the dealer told me that he was given a whopping $20 tip from the guy who hit it.  Twenty bucks for $3,500 in found money?  Yeah.

Anyway, there’s a reason I’m telling you this.  And there’s also a reason I haven’t told you this story before.  You see, at about 8:25PM, with my pal Brent dealing, I had pocket 9’s and limped in.  Five of us saw the flop, which had the other two 9’s.  I checked and called a $10 bet, everyone else folded.  We both checked the turn.  First to act on the river, I bet $15, not sure he would even call that.  He tanked and eventually did call. 

I flipped over my cards and said, “You’re a little early, Brent.”  Brent was disappointed too.  As it happens, the shift manager was right next to us and he asked him, “Hey, we can say it’s 9 0”clock, can’t we?”  Unfortunately they couldn’t. 

I would have had a real nice bonus there, but for a few minutes.  And this was the problem with the promo—people felt ripped off if they hit a high hand at the wrong time.  I was told there was one time when they actually had to go to the surveillance tape to see if a high hand qualified or not, to check the time stamp.  I think that’s why this particular promo didn’t last too much longer.

At my table was a regular who I’m going to call Curtis.  Curtis is a big guy, and a big aggro.  He likes to bully the table and he plays a lot of hands, raises with a lot of hands, and to me, has always been a bit of luckbox.  He always seems to have a lot of chips in front of him, and a lot of it is because he’s a good player, but I swear, I’ve seen him show some incredibly crappy hands that hit just right.

I haven’t seen Curtis very much lately, he must have found another place to bully people around.  Also at this table was the maniac I’ve named “Amos.”  Curtis and Amos are buddies.  I think they met in the poker room and became friends because they both play like assholes aggressively. They admire each other’s game.

Aside:  When this session occurred, I’d only run into Amos once or twice before and didn’t know his name.  So when I recorded my voice notes for this nite, I couldn’t name him, I just described him.  Long after this session, I learned Amos’ (real) name and got to know him better.  So when I just recently listened to my old voice note for this post, I was quite amused when I realized this guy I was trying to describe was actually Amos.  My description of him from this early meeting was quite vivid, to say the least.

Curtis and I get along fine but he can rub people the wrong way. Usually he takes losing with a smile but not on this night. On this one hand, he had some crappy two pair that he shouldn’t have even been playing, and a guy with one pair shoved into him.  Curtis was only too happy to call.  But a 10 on the river gave the guy a better two pair than Curtis had.  I don’t recall Curtis’s two pair—I’m not sure he showed—but the guy who sucked out on him had King-10.  So shoving with top pair/mediocre kicker was indeed a questionable play.

Curtis did not like this, tho I’ll bet I’ve seen him on the other end of a situation like this a lot more often.  He bitched and moaned about the guy hitting his three-outer. He made it perfectly clear he thought the guy played the hand terribly (which he had).  Curtis had tons of chips and after doubling up the guy, he still had a lot of chips, but he was muttering and whining and complaining about this for some time.

There was another hand where a very similar thing happened. I didn’t note the details but again a guy sucked out on him.  And he bitched and moaned some more.  He started giving Amos descriptions of all the players. “This guy’s a nit, this guy’s a calling station.”  He said it loudly enough for the players to have heard. He was saying it in a nasty way. I was actually right next to Curtis.  He didn’t say anything about me.  As I said, we get along fine.

So there was this older guy at the other end of the table, and he had had enough of Curtis’s bitching.  “You’re such an asshole.  Why are such an asshole?  You don’t win with grace.  You don’t lose with grace.  Why are you like that?”

Curtis replied, “I guess I just don’t have as much experience losing as you do.”

I had to admit, that was a damn good response.  Now, the dealer at this time was Ginger, and she didn’t say anything, although she gave me a look like “Whoa.”  I think she should have warned the old guy that he can’t call players assholes.  However, she knows Curtis and knew that he could take care of himself, and was probably the last person in the room who would ever complain to management about another player’s personal insults to him.

Curtis obviously started playing differently, and was concentrating on taking the old guy down.  At one point he made a huge bet against him, and accidentally-on-purpose knocked over the big stack of chips he had put out, so that some of the chips splashed the pot.  Later, he apologized, “I didn’t mean to do that….I did and I didn’t.  I know it was kind of a dick move, but it made my point.”

Anyway, the old guy soon asked for a table change.  It took awhile but he finally was called to a new game.  At this point—and I have no idea what possessed me to say this—I said to Curtis, “You should ask for a table change to his table.”  I’m not usually that kind of a trouble-maker.  I guess I had an ulterior motive…..I wanted Curtis to move to another game so he wouldn’t raise me out of so many pots.  Anyway Curtis said, “You know, I was just thinking of doing that.”  And so he did.  A few minutes later he got called to the same table that the old guy had just moved to. 

And what happened?  Curtis played one hand there and the old guy immediately picked up his chips and left the room.

I know this because Curtis soon changed back to my table and even got his old seat right next to me.  He actually enjoyed that, chasing the guy away.  Then he told some other stories of how people avoid him at the poker table.  His favorite was one time when he went to take his seat at a game right next to a guy who he recognized who had just won a huge pot.  He hadn’t finished stacking his chips when he looked up at Curtis taking the seat right next to him and said, “No.” And with that he racked up and left.

The other story he told was about playing with this absolute fish who was spewing chips like crazy, had busted out like six times, and had lost at least half of his money to Curtis.  The guy asked, “Where’s the ATM?”  And Curtis said to him. “Oh, please sir, let me take you there.”  And he escorted the guy to the ATM.  On their way back into the room, the fish saw the shift manager and he told him, “You have the nicest players in this poker room.  This gentleman was kind enough to take me to the ATM.”

For me, the poker was totally uneventful.  Just the bad timing on the quad 9’s.  No other memorable hands. My one drawing ticket for the quads didn’t get picked.  I missed out on the football promo. I made it an early night and more or less broke even.

As in life, timing in poker promos is everything.