Tuesday, July 3, 2012

“The Buxom Bandit”—Or, the “Jennifer Tilly Effect” Goes Criminal

There’s a story all over the internet about the “Buxom Bandit.”  Perhaps you’ve heard about it.  I’ve put some links below, some with video, but you really can’t miss it.

This took place in Australia, and a rather well-endowed woman, wearing a very low cut top, robbed a convenience store. 
Shockingly, this story caught my attention.
Although the blonde woman wore a wool cap, she did not cover her face, as most robbers tend to do.  The cap maybe had nothing to do to with trying to protect her identity; its winter down under and she was most likely just trying to keep warm.  Although, based on her outfit, she is in serious danger of getting one helluva a massive chest cold.
Most of the stories talk about the mistakes she made, include only have one hand gloved and touching the counter with her bare hand, thus leaving fingerprints.
The other mistake of course is that she failed to cover her face.  The theory is that her exposed cleavage would be so distracting no one would look at her face.  Come on, are you trying to tell me that some people would find a little bit of exposed cleavage—ok, a lot of exposed cleavage—distracting?
Heh heh.  Ok, she may be on to something there.  When I read the story, I immediately thought of the “Jennifer Tilly Effect”, as has been documented many times on this very blog.  As a reminder, that’s when a female poker player, usually one with large breasts, wears a top that liberally reveals said large breasts at the poker table for the purpose of distracting the attention and concentration of the male players at her table.  Personally, I have never understood why some guys find that distracting, but apparently, some guys do. Anyway, just click on the link embedded earlier in this paragraph and you’ll see an example and also why I call it the Jennifer Tilly effect.
I have a few blogposts tagged with the label “Jennifer Tilly Effect” here.  Actually, I could have used that tag in my previous post (see here), because I did mention a female poker player with rather abundant cleavage.  However, I didn’t give the post that label because the opponent of that lady trying to pull off the “Jennifer Tilly Effect” was Prudence, who, for biological reasons, is immune to the effect.
I have no idea whether the as-of-yet-unapprehended woman is in fact a poker player. Or whether she’s even heard of the Jennifer Tilly Effect per se.  But my guess is that she has once or twice noticed a man staring at a space below her neck and not at her eyes.  Just a guess on my part, really.  And thus, whether she knew she was actually adopting the JE effect for criminal activities or just came up with it on her own, she badly overestimated the power of said effect.
You see, the young buxom bandit believed no one would ever look at her face because they would be too busy staring at her tits.  What she failed to realize is that her plan could easily foiled by the store’s surveillance tape, which would preserve her face so that eventually a female police office, or perhaps a gay male police officer, i.e., someone would be able to actual look up from her chest long enough to see her face, would be able to notice her face and help identify her.  Furthermore, they could take the tape and use it to produce a picture of just her face, cutting out her ample bosom, so that even the world’s biggest tit-man would have nothing to focus on but her face.
I suspect that she will soon learn that crime doesn’t pay, that the Jennifer Tilly Effect cannot be used in criminal activities, and what exactly the inside of a jail cell looks like.  Yes, I suspect, the young blonde woman with the big bust will soon be, ahem, busted.

((update:  The buxom bandit has indeed been busted, actually she turned herself in!  See here.))
video

4 comments:

  1. If you lived in Australia, you'd have her identified and behind bars in less than ten minutes Rob...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, Coach....I HAVE been able to identify women just by their breasts.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. No doubt when they catch up with this ne'er do well, some newspaper or website somewhere will call it, "The Biggest Bust of the Year."

      Delete