Saturday, March 17, 2012

"Your Testicles are Huge, Sir" (The Return of Prudence, Part 3)

This is the final installment of the “Return of Prudence” saga, picking up where I left off here.  Part 1 is here, the introduction to Prudence is here and the story of how she discovered my blog is here.  And the latest with Prudence can now be found here.
This story actually takes place over two nights, the Monday and the Thursday of my recent visit to Vegas.  On Monday, when I arrived at BSC fairly late, around 9:30 I saw Prudence at a 1/2 game that had a couple of empty seats.  I walked past it to go tell them at the front that I wanted a seat and in particular, I wanted that game.  No problem.  When I got there I was surprised to see that the dealer there, who I had already said hello to when I also said hi to Prudence, had put a “reserved” button in one of the seats to hold for me!  Nice.
Prudence was much more low-key than she was the previous night.  One reason may have been because, although Ginger, her “partner in crime” the previous night, was playing instead of dealing, she had moved up to the 2/5 game.  Thus Prudence had no one to play off of.  Still we chatted a bit as the play unfolded. 
There was a somewhat attractive blonde girl at the table a seat away from me, and I was sitting across from Prudence, who was sitting next to the dealer.  The somewhat attractive blonde girl was soon joined by her friend, who was a very attractive, girl, not quite as blonde as her friend, but a lot better looking.  She was also wearing a fairly low cut top, I wasn’t the only one who noticed the hot girl joining the table.  Prudence took one look at her and said to me, “Oh, Robert…that’s for you.”
If only it was so.
Actually, I’ve already described this gal on grrouchie’s blog, in a comment I made the night after he and I and Prudence all played together.  Might as well quote myself instead of trying to come up with a new description of her.  “Oh, and by the way, Monday nite, when you did not join me at BSC, there was this gal at my table with incredible ta-ta's that may actually have been real. She was wearing a low-cut, cleavage revealing top that was also super tight to further emphasize the boobage. Also, the top was somewhat see-through so it was really eye catching. Yes, she was wearing a bra, or perhaps it was built in, but because of the transparency a lot more cleavage was revealed than otherwise would have been.”
Actually, when she first sat down she was wearing a covering on top that somewhat reduced the cleavage, but watching her remove the covering and also stretch backwards was a rather pleasant sight.
But nothing I’ve written so far should give you the impression that I’m “obsessed with bosoms.”

So enough about her tits.  You’re not interested in them, I know.  You want to read about poker right?  Well, she was good player actually.  So good so that she didn’t really need to use her breasts to try to work the “Jennifer Tilly” effect that she was so obviously employing.  And she and I got into it in several hands.  Unfortunately, by the time I got around to writing notes about this night, the specifics of the hands were forgotten.  My recollection though is that we battled in three significant pots, and that I won two of them.  Once, she was staring me down to see if she could read how good my hand was.  She finally folded.  That time I had a semi-decent hand, but I was thinking if she called she probably had me beat, so it was probably a good lay-down on her part.  Or not.  Anyway, despite her attempt to distract me with her cleavage, I took more of her money than vice-versa.  Unfortunately, she didn’t play long, choosing to pick up her chips, as her friend had earlier, and just watch her boyfriend play at another table.  But before she left, the guys on either side of her had noted that, as she was facing out into the main casino area, guys kept stopping to look into the poker room, ostensibly to check out the action but in actuality they were checking her out!  Yeah, they actually told her that and she just nodded in agreement.
Meanwhile, Prudence was not having a lot of success at this game so she decided to move to another game.  Since I was doing well, I stayed there and didn’t see her again, at least during the actual poker-playing part of this evening, for the rest of the night.
There were two memorable hands from this session, and they came back to back.  In a limped pot, my pocket fours saw a flop of 9-9-4.  Always nice to flop a boat.  I led out a small bet, hoping someone would bite (because the pot was limped, with that flop, I feared no one would bet).  A guy tried to raise, but he screwed up and put the call out first and then tried to add more chips to it…a forbidden string raise.  The dealer insisted that was only a call.  But this was valuable information for me.  I knew he wanted to raise, he must have liked that flop too.  Awesome.
Since I knew he wanted to raise on the flop, I checked the turn, which was an Ace.  He bet $25 and I just called, setting the trap.  The river was a blank, I check, he bets $50.  I’m sure I have him but I didn’t think he’d call a shove.  If I was wrong, then he might shove against my minimum raise to $100.  Nope, he just called.  He had K-9 and I took down a very nice pot.
Next hand, I have pocket 3’s, another limped pot, and a 3 hits on the flop.  Wow, two sets in a row, one a full house!  This time nobody called the small bet I made on the flop.  The same guy I’d just beat was thinking about calling but decided he didn’t want any part of me.
I played for several hours and walked away up over $250.  Not bad.  After cashing out, I noticed a couple of my dealer buddies loitering near the cashier and they ask me how I did, and I told them I had a good night.  Among the dealers there were Jack and Tom, which meant Prudence was hanging with them too.  Tom pointed to Jack and said to me, “Here’s a guy who can help you with your blog, he’s a computer whiz.”  News to me.  But that reminded Jack that he still hadn’t checked out the blog so he took this opportunity to finally nail down the URL and promised to check it out, which he in fact, did.  But now that I am remembering that and realizing Jack is a computer whiz and he reads my blog, Hey Jack, is there anything you could do to help the blog?  Perhaps Jack is web-designer in his spare time?
We talked briefly about the blog and I was careful to point out that I change the names, and even the name of room, to protect them.  But one of the dealers who I’m just too lazy to create a fake name for until I have a better story about him to blog about said, “Well, I bet we can figure it out anyway.”  So I asked him if he had seen my blog and he had not.  Perhaps by now he has?  Anyway, I know the guilty parties can figure out who they are, I just don’t want everybody to be able to figure it.
Suddenly I was in the middle of a nice conversation with a bunch of BSC employees where I was the only one there who wasn’t a BSC dealer or at least sleeping with one.  It was a fun conversation, many topics covered, one of which was how to play 1/2 No Limit and whether Prudence should be doing it.  Tom offered the opinion that you can’t get away with bluffing in a 1/2 game and thus you shouldn’t even try.  Apparently this has been a problem with Prudence’s game. 
Prudence mentioned that her friends and (I think) family back home are surprised—I assume pleasantly so—that she has pretty much lived the straight and narrow since moving to Vegas (other than her amusing table talk at the poker table), and not turned into a degenerate party girl.
Suddenly Ginger joined us, fresh off what I believe was a successful run at the 2/5 game.  To my pleasant surprise, she could not wait to have Prudence tell the story again of her most outrageous comment from the night before. And about how I had missed it the first time and she had gotten Prudence to repeat it. Prudence was only too eager to comply.  “Well he missed it the first time and wanted to know why some guy turned so red.  So I told him how Tom is very supportive of me, but he really doesn’t like it when I talk about my vagina at the poker table.”
At least a couple of the dealers in this group hadn’t heard her say this before, at least to my knowledge.  This caused a good laugh and then I said, “You know, I was about to make a comment that I hadn’t heard the ‘v-word’ spoken all night.  Whew.”  Then I said, “I can’t imagine why Tom doesn’t like that” and Tom, who was pretending to be looking at his cell phone at the time, muttered, “Yeah, who could imagine that.”
Prudence brought up the two hot girls that had joined the table she was first at,  I believe she did this to remind everyone of my alleged “obsession with bosoms.” I pointed out that only one of them was really hot.  She agreed, and then pointed out that that is very typical of the two girl dynamic….one’s hot, the other not so much, and it really sucks for the one that isn’t hot.
It was at this point that I decided to get a clarification and confirm whether or not Prudence had actually encouraged Ginger to show her boobs to a guy during the hand.  I reminded Ginger of the incident and she said no, Prudence said, “Show him your nuts”.  Ginger pointed out that being a woman, she didn’t have any nuts to show.  It was then that one of the other dealers, male, I’m not sure which one, did a little snipping motion with his fingers to indicate what needed to be done if it indeed turned out that Ginger had nuts.
Some of the dealers had tables to get to, some had to leave for the night, and the group broke up.  I wasn’t sure if I’d see Prudence again on this trip but it turns out she returned to BSC on Thursday, my last night in town.  I didn’t see her at first and got a table where I won a few very small pots to start off.  Jack—by now a big fan of my blog—asked me why I wasn’t playing at Prudence’s table and I said I didn’t realize she was there.  Yes, he referred to her as “Prudence” even though he knows her real name.  He also likes to call himself “Jack” now! Jack pointed out her table and I eventually I moved to her game and we sat next to each other for quite some time.  I told her about my “fan” being in the room and how he had flown all the way from the Midwest just to meet me and she was impressed, as explained here We chatted a bit, but with Ginger nowhere to be seen (I think this was her day off), Prudence was again low key and spent most of time when not in a hand playing games on her phone. 
Meanwhile, after being up well over $100, I started a bad run and suddenly was getting close to needing to buy more chips. This was when Michelle came to deal, a scary sign.  Michelle is a terrific woman but we have a running gag that I never win a pot when she deals.  There was a period where it seemed like I went about 20 or so of her downs with winning anything.  So now I keep a count in my mind of how may pots she “owes” me.  It started at 100 (that was her number) and has now gotten into the 80’s.  Anyway, her appearance didn’t bode well for my dwindling stack.  Worse, she had walked past me a while back when I had a much bigger stack, so when she came to the table, she said, “What happened to your chips?”
Prudence accused her of rubbing it in but I didn’t think that was the case.  I told her it was starting to go bad for me and would like get worse now that she was here!  But with Michelle dealing came the hand of the night.
It was limped pot and I had pocket 9’s.  There were two King’s on the flop and a low card.  A guy with a shorter stack than me put out $10, about the size of the pot.  Folded to me.  I should have folded, surely he had a King, right?  But it would be heads up and this was, in my opinion, a weak player and he didn’t have a lot of chips.  I thought what the heck and decided to make a move, I wouldn’t lose that much since he didn’t have many chips and I was ready to re-load anyway.  So I made an overbet to $40.  I thought if he had a weak king or maybe any pocket pair (other than Kings), he’d fold. Otherwise, I’m ready for the re-load.
He thought about it but called.  Then on the turn, a miracle 9 shows up, giving me a full house!  Wow.  How lucky can I be?  And with Michelle dealing yet?  The other guy checked and I pretty much figured he was pot committed with his small stack (about $40 or $50 left) so I just shoved, pretty sure he’d call.  He did.  The river was a blank, I showed my boat and the guy stared at it for a bit and then mucked, and walked away, shaking his head. 
It was a nice pot that made rebuying unnecessary. As Michelle pushed me the pot, I told her, “That’s 83 now!” meaning her debt of pots to me is down to 83.  Now, my rather bizarre play had not gone unnoticed by Prudence.  “I’m impressed!  What cojones you have!  That’s a retard move like I would make!”
I of course started to crack up.  My play had really surprised her, to say the least.  Actually it kind of surprised me too.  Anyway, as I was laughing, she said, “Your testicles are huge, sir!”
I really wish Doug, my fan had dropped by soon after that, I would have loved to have her repeat that line to him.  But I never saw him that night, except through texts.
I was back on my way but Prudence was soon busted out and she left.  She said she would reload at another table but I never saw her again.  Oh well, she and I will be both be back at the BSC, you can be sure of that.
Anyway, one more hand from this night.  I had AK suited and raised pre-flop, one or two callers.  Flop is QJ-x, only one in my suit.  Someone bet $30, I called. But a 10 hit the turn, giving me the nut straight.  The guy who bet $30, who had taken over Prudence’s seat to my left, shoved.  Wow.  He either had AK for a chop or I was gonna win a nice pot.  I of course called, I had him covered (he had around $150 or so left when he shoved).  River was a blank.  He had the bad fortune to have the bottom end, 8/9 suited.  So that was a nice pot to send me on the way, and I won a couple of hundred that night.  And had my testicles praised in the process.  Not a bad final night in town.


  1. Nice to see you actually had some profitable poker sessions on your trip.

    And I love that Tilly lady - oh, she has my favorite pair!

    1. I thought you loved her because your favorite film is "Bride of Chucky"--at least that's what you told Prudence.

  2. I thought I was your favorite pair!

    1. Anybody else wanna see Carmel and Tilly fight it out over grrouchie? I mean, aside from grroucie?

  3. Did someone say 'huge testicles "?

    1. All of a sudden your reall excited to meet me, huh? :)

  4. I had a boyfriend once who was on steroids for his asthma.They cause male testicles to shrink! Good thing there was no effect on the penis.

    1. Interesting because I've heard they shrink that too.

    2. I meant to add in there "Speaking of testicles."

  5. Last time I had a huge testicle a trip to the hospital was involved. Unpleasant memories there. Thanks Rob.

    1. Sorry, Neo....some guys can handle having big balls, some guys can't.

  6. Are you the kind of guy that would have taken Ginger over Mary Ann?