The Chairman of the Board

This goes back to early May, one of my last sessions in the MGM poker room before they moved away from the new nightclub (and thus, farther away from The Slut Parade).

There was one of those really, ultra-friendly guys at the table.  Wouldn’t shut up.  This can go either way.  Sometimes that can be annoying as hell, other times, it can be quite entertaining.  This guy was very entertaining.  I guess I should give him a name, and in fact he did tell everyone at the table his full name (first and last) and I remember it.  But instead of using his it, I’ll call him “Jake.”

Jake was kind of telling us his life story and it seems he had just retired to Las Vegas and was planning to spend his retirement drinking and gambling—at least for a year.  Then he’d see how much money he had left.  He told the story of a 30 hour poker session he had just had a few days earlier.  Unlike now, when he was playing 1/2, he was playing 2/5 and he met a couple of “professional” poker players.  I guess these guys were somewhere between the guys you see on televised poker and the local grinders that I often run into.  But to hear him tell it, they were quite successful, even somewhat well known.

They took a liking to Jake, and apparently one of the reasons was that Jake lost a lot of money to them.  He said he lost around $15k playing poker to these two guys.  He also said that this was the only losing session he had had since he moved to Vegas.  And apparently, that $15k loss didn’t hurt his bankroll “too much.”

The story Jake told was that they took him home with him (or one of them, I guess) and he crashed at their place to sleep off all the booze he had consumed during this 30 hour session.  They offered to take him under their wing and help him become a better poker player.  One bit of instruction they gave him:  Never drink while playing poker, especially when playing 2/5.  Of course they also told him to stick with 1/2 instead of 2/5.

They also bought him $1,000 worth of furniture for his Vegas apartment that he had just moved into.  Jake said they were using his own money since he had lost way more than that to them, but as a poker player myself, I don’t think that’s how it works.  Once you lose your money to me, that money is mine, all mine.

Jake told us that he retired from being a sales rep at a company that was a subsidiary of a major Fortune 500 company.  It’s a well known company and only because I don’t want to make it easy for some random reader to identify Jake, I won’t give its real name.  So how about I refer to this real company by the fake name “Boobies & Boobies” (fake boobies—get it?) because I have a reputation as an “ass man” I’m trying to live down.

The mention of the firm Boobies & Boobies prompted a person at the other side of the table to tell a story that one of his buddies told him.  Supposedly, the Chairman of the Board of Boobies & Boobies was playing poker right in this very poker room a few days earlier.  He was having a bad session and ran out of cash.  So he left with his body guard or his driver and went to Wells Fargo bank to get more money.  He came back with a brick of $100 bill and proceeded to lose all that money too. 

This story interested Jake because he knew the Chairman of the Board of Boobies & Boobies and knew that he had started out as a sales rep for one of their subsidiaries and worked his way up.  Well, to make a long story short (wait—when have I ever done that?), he got enough details out of the guy to realize that the losing poker player was not in fact the Chairman of Boobies & Boobies but was in fact….Jake!  Yes indeed.  In the telling of the story, a few details had gotten scrambled so that Jake, the retired sales rep formerly of Boobies & Boobies, was actually the head of Boobies & Boobies.  And the body guard was actually just one of the new friends that Jake had made losing $15k.  But yes, he did have to take a break at one point and go to Wells Fargo get $10K in cash in order for him to continue his poker lesson with his new found buddies. 

“That was me!” Jake exclaimed, several times.  Everyone at the table got a good laugh over that, the guy telling a story on a guy having no idea the guy he was telling the story on was right there hearing it.  As Jake said to all of us, “Well, now you’ve all got a good story.”  Yeah.  But who can I tell that story too?  Hmmmm…..

All the dealers seemed to know Jake, apparently that 30 hour session had made an impression on them.  And he knew the dealers by name.  When Mike came to deal, he said hello by name and said something like, “Hey, good looking.”  Mike turned red and said, “Why are you saying that to me when there’s all these beautiful girls around?”

You see, this was, in fact, a “Slut Parade” night, and as the evening wore on, we could see club goers walking through the room and starting to line up.  And Jake was definitely interested in checking out the young ladies.  He said that his wife has no objection to his looking, as long as there’s no touching.  His wife will even point out attractive girls to him.  Mike claimed his wife has the same attitude. 

We actually did play some poker that night and I had a good night.  I caught a set of 6’s in a limped pot.  I bet the pot, and the aggro at the table raised a little more than twice my bet.  The board had both straight draws and flush draws, so I didn’t think it wise to just call.  Besides, I thought the aggro would call, if not re-raise.  But no, my bet, about 2 ½ times his bet, didn’t get called.

Then I had pocket Jacks in middle position.  Jake had made it $6 in front of me.  Jake being more of a calling station than an aggro, I decided to just call.  If it had been the aggro I would have three bet there.  The aggro and one other called.  The flop was all low, and it was checked to me, so I bet $15 with my overpair.  Only the aggro called.  The turn put two diamonds on the board (in addition to the two hearts that were on the board on the flop) but my Jacks were still an overpair.  The aggro had been the big blind, and this time he moved all in for $55.

I thought about folding, but then I remembered who the villain was.  The more I thought about it, the more I thought about calling.  I realized there was too good a chance my overpair was good.  So I called and when I did he said, “I got a lot of outs.”  He probably had a straight draw in addition to a flush draw.  But when a black 3 hit the board, which was too low to make a straight, he just mucked and said, “I missed.”  Fortunately, he rebought.

I raised with pocket 10’s and the flop came J-9-8.  With both the pair and the open-ender, I bet out and got only one caller.  I played it conservatively after that, we both checked it down.  Turns out he had a Queen and was going for the gut-shot and my 10’s were good.

I was dealt pocket 6’s back to back.  The first time I caught a set and won a very small pot—no one called my flop bet.  Two sets of 6’s in one night.  Could I go for the hat trick?  No, I had to call a raise to see the flop the next time and missed.  I think I lost money in total on those two hands.

Then was dealt pocket 9’s in the small blind.  The aggro was UTG and had straddled, as he had done every time he was UTG.  I limped in for $3 and he made it $12.  I called.  We were the only two to see the flop.  I guess you could say I liked the flop.  It was Jack-9-9.

Of course I checked and the aggro bet out $21.  I took some time to call.  I was definitely Hollywooding, and perhaps I overdid it.  I looked at my cards and tried to make it look like I was thinking about folding.  But of course I called.

The turn card appeared to be a blank and again I checked.  The aggro had money in his hand and appeared like he was gonna bet.  But he looked at me and then checked.  I hope I wasn’t giving off a tell.

So on the river, another blank looking card, I had to bet.  I put out $50, hoping that was small enough to get him to call (or raise, even better).  But he folded.  Damn.  I showed the quads because they’re just to pretty to keep to myself.  Someone said to the aggro, “You weren’t getting him to lay those down.”  Ya think?

I called a small raise with King-Queen soooted.  There were a bunch of callers. The flop was 10-10-4, everyone checked, including the aggro who had been the preflop raiser.  Another 10 hit the turn.  Again, everyone checked.  The river was a 4, putting a full house on the board.  I reflexively checked, then realized that I probably should have bet.  This time the aggro bet $20 and the other two players folded.  I thought about it.  I figured there was a good chance the aggro was going to be playing the board.  So I called.   “You got a bigger pocket pair than mine?” he asked.

I showed my cards and said I was playing the board.  Well, so was he.  He had like Jack-7.  He said, “Well, at least I got two players to fold.”  I said, “I’m actually kind of mad at myself for not trying your move there first.”  And the two players who folded?  They were both pissed.

That was about it for the poker, I left up over $200.  I expected to see Jake again; I was sure he would be a regular.  But I haven’t seen him since.  He either ran out of money or found another venue to play.

Actually, I’d really like to run into that aggro again, I made most of my money off him.