Thursday, October 2, 2014

Titty City & The Fresh Princess of Bel-Air

For me, what’s worse than a bad session of poker is a one that starts off really good, where you’re up a couple of bills, and then goes all to hell.  I think I’d rather have a bad session from start to finish than one that one that starts off with a promise of booking a nice win only to run into the a buzz saw.  Or the dreaded pocket Kings.

This was the Saturday night of Labor Day weekend, at MGM.  Very first hand, I limped in with King-3 of diamonds.  I figured I could risk two bucks to see if I could limp in and get lucky with a flush and win a drawing ticket.  The next drawing was less than an hour away and there were a couple of big cash prizes left, making the odds of catching something big better than normal.

The guy behind me made it $5 and a whole bunch of people called. When it got back to me, there was no way I could fold for just $3, so I called.  The flop was King high.  I led out for $15 and only the preflop raiser called.   The turn was a 3.  I bet $40 and he shoved.  He had somewhere around $100. I didn’t ask for a count, I snap called.  The river blanked and he showed King-Queen—just the one pair.  Two pair was good and I won over $130 with my first hand of the night. 

Just a hand or two later, I added another $100 when I called a small raise with Jack-10 and flopped top pair (10’s).  The turn gave me a gutshot and the river gave me trip 10’s.  That was good.

Then a guy open raised to $25 and another guy called.  I had pocket 9’s.  With all that money in front of me, I decided to call.  Then someone made it $57.  The original raiser folded but the next guy called.  I thought and thought, but couldn’t convince myself that 9’s were worth another $37.  I folded. I wasn’t sure if that was the right play or not. I probably should have just folded to the original bet. 

Anyway, the flop was Queen-high (no 9) and there was some betting.  The turn paired 7’s.  The original preflop three-bettor bet, the other guy shoved, the first guy called.  The river was a blank.  The guy who three-bet had pocket Kings, which I’m sure he dreaded when he saw the other guy turn over pocket Queens.  The guy who flopped a set of Queens had called the $25 and the $37 more, never raising (until the turn, when he had a boat).

If you think the guy with the Queens was lucky, wait for this one.  I had Queen-10 of spades and limped in, so did most of North America.  Eight of us saw the flop, which was Jack-Jack-9.  Four of us called $10.  The turn was an 8, completing my straight.  I bet $40, only the guy with the Queens from the previous hand called.  The river was the third Jack.  We both checked.  I turned my cards over and said, “I’ve just got the straight.”  The other guy said, “You’re good, you’re good,” as he showed his cards…10-8.  No, I wasn’t good.  His pair of 8’s—along with the third Jack on the river— gave him the full house. I think he didn’t realize he had the boat!  As the dealer pushed him the pot, I jokingly said, “He said I was good….isn’t verbal binding?”

I called a small raise with 5-4 hearts.  The flop was 9-6-3.  The last two of those cards were hearts, giving me an open-ended straight flush draw. I hit just the flush on the river and didn’t bet it, worried my baby flush was no good, but I took down a smallish pot for it (and got a drawing ticket).

The nightmare hand came immediately after that one. By this time I had about $340 in front of me ($200 buy-in). I opened raised to $10 with the dreaded pocket Kings.  Two players called. The flop was all hearts, no Ace. The red King in my hand was indeed the heart.  I bet $20.

A guy with a big stack, and an aggro bordering on maniac, made it $60, the other guy folded.

What to do, what to do?  Seriously, what would you do?  I called.  Should I have let it go there? My Kings were an overpair.  And I had the draw to the second nut flush.  I called.  The turn was the Queen of diamonds.  I checked, he bet another $60.  Sigh.  Again, I called.  Mistake?

The river was the friggin’ King of diamonds, giving me a set of Kings.  Too little, too late?  It sure wasn’t the Ace of hearts I was praying for.

I checked and he put out $100.  Gulp.  I think I wouldn’t have had any problem folding if I hadn’t hit the set.  I thought about it long and hard, and ended up calling.  How could I fold a set of Kings?  Well I couldn’t.  I should have, but I couldn’t.  Tell me……do you call there or fold?

He flipped over 9-8 of hearts.  Yes, 9-8.  It’s not like he had the nuts.  In fact, I was drawing very much alive.  Just needed one more heart.  It never came.

And that pretty much killed the night.  I was no longer up for the night.  In fact, twice I added $100 to my stack.  No other hands, good or bad, were particularly noteworthy.

But at least there was an interesting distraction.  Sometime after Abe arrived at the table, a young couple joined us.  They were youngish, the woman was a somewhat attractive blonde.  She was on the slim side, wearing a somewhat low cut top that didn’t really reveal anything. That’s because, ahem, she didn’t really have that much to reveal. Now ordinarily, I would never comment on the size of a woman’s breasts (or frankly, even notice them), but based on a comment she later made, it seems her lack of a big bust is relevant. 

I’m going to refer to this woman as “Serena” (and definitely not because she reminded me of tennis star Serena Williams) and her boyfriend as “Mel.”  It didn’t appeared they were married inasmuch was there was no wedding ring on Serena’s left hand.  Mel didn’t say much, but Serena was one of those people who couldn’t go longer than 10 seconds without words flowing out of her mouth.

The dealer at the time was a guy who fancied himself as a ladies’ man, at least before he got married. Hopefully he doesn’t still fancy himself that way.  Serena got the dealer’s attention, to be sure, and he asked the couple how they met.  Mel explained that he had met this hot woman (Serena) at a poker table.

The dealer asked him what his line to her was.  Serena explained that she actually came on to him.  “I gave him my number.”  She seemed a little embarrassed to admit it.

The dealer and Serena then got in a discussion of other women, with Mel contributing very little.   This may have started because, behind her, but in front of the dealer (and me), the Slut Parade was in full flow.  She must have noticed said dealer noticing (and perhaps commenting on) some of the ladies passing by.  She turned to look herself.

She seemed to enjoy looking at them too.  Someone expressed surprise at that, and she said, “I like hot girls!”  It wasn’t clear to me if she meant she liked them to look at or if perhaps she was interested in doing more than just look at them.  But in response to her comment about liking hot girls, the dealer said, “Yeah, as long as they’re not hotter than you.”

Serena objected.  “No, I don’t care if they’re hotter than me.  I like them.  I’ll point them out.  I’ll see a woman with really large breasts and I’ll go, ‘Hey look….titty city over there.’”

Can you imagine?  I was there to hear that.  Of course I laughed.  And Abe asked her, “Exactly where is titty city?”  Good question, Abe.  Sounds like a place I might want to visit.  Hell, sounds like a place I’d want to be mayor of.  But Serena assumed it was a rhetorical question and didn’t respond.

Serena had a skin condition which was briefly discussed.  And then Mel said, “Actually, there’s an interesting nipple story….”  But Serena quickly cut him off. “No, no, that’s not appropriate.”

As frequently happens when I run into this type of woman, she turned out to be a total luckbox.  Soon she had had a huge pile of chips in front of her. There was one hand where, in the blind, she had 8-6.  There was an 8 on the flop.  I can’t remember if she bet or called a bet.  But a 6 hit the turn and she put out a big bet, and was called.  When another 8 hit the river, she Hollywooded it up.  She let out a huge gasp of breath as if that was the worst card in the world.  This time she checked.  Her opponent put out a big bet.  Serena was all too happy to announce all in.  Her acting job had worked perfectly.  The guy called and she won a huge pot when she flipped over her hand that had gone runner-runner boat.

She was clearly an experienced player, but she kept making hands like crazy. At one point she made a bet that no one called.  “No one wants to play with me?”  I said, “They way you’ve been running?  Can you blame us?”

She was entertaining and this is the kind of woman I love to run into at the poker table—for blogging material.  So finally, I had to ask her where she was from.  She mentioned a town in the Midwest as her original hometown, then said that they now live in Los Angeles.

Now, in Vegas, just for simplicity sake, people will say they live in Los Angeles if they live anywhere between Santa Barbara and San Diego.  So I asked, as I always do, “What part of L.A.?”

She said, “Bel Air.”

I wish that Abe had had his cell phone camera recording me at that moment.  According to him, I had the greatest reaction he’d ever seen.  I was beyond shocked.  I know my mouth was totally agape.  Per Abe, the look on my face was priceless.    

I stammered, “Bel Air?”  Yes, yes, Serena assured me they live in Bel Air.

I said, “Well, what are you doing playing 1/2 No Limit if you live in Bel Air?”  She didn’t answer.

You see, Bel Air is the wealthiest part of Southern California.  Forget Beverly Hills.  Forget Malibu.  People who live in Bel Air look down at residents of Beverly Hills, as if they were living in a slum.  You can’t just be a millionaire to live in Bel Air.  You have to be a billionaire to live there. Well, I suppose you could be a live-in maid or a nanny and live there. 

I explained this to Abe, and the new dealer said that there are some less expensive areas of Beverly Hills.  But I said, no, Bel Air is not like Beverly Hills.  There are no less expensive areas to live in.

I don’t know exactly why I found it so unbelievable that Serena and Mel lived in Bel Air, but I did.  I guess they just didn’t seem the Bel Air type.

Soon after this revelation, Serena and Mel left.  On their way back to Bel Air, no doubt.  I had had a frustrating nite of poker, having a $400 swing (going from up over $200 to losing around $200).  But at least I met the Fresh Princess of Bel Air.  And learned of that magical land, Titty City.

36 comments:

  1. You quite a few hand reports there in multiple posts. Run them through a hand calculator and compare the pot/bet offered to the odds. That's a pretty good way to answer any should or not questions. The easy way at the tables is the simple 4-2 rule as I'm sure you know Outs x 4 on turn card -- outs x 2 on river. That's rough but it tells you a lot..

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    1. Thanks for the tip, Ken. I do do that. Sometimes tho there's more to it. For example, in the KK hand, I might have been ahead on the flop, and also, I might have been drawing dead.

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  2. id never been put in the situation of what to do on the turn or river. id shoved the KK on the flop.

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    1. Before or after the check-raise? With an overpair on a monotone board,I wasn't prepared to stack off there. As it was, I lost a good part of my stack.....thanks to getting the set on the river.

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  3. Rob, thanks to you every time I see a group of attractive young ladies walking to/from the club I think "slut parade". Sometimes I think I may even say it out loud without realizing it, though hopefully not too loud. The KK overpair with a flush draw is an interesting hand. Of course after the hand it's easy to beat yourself up and say you should have folded. That may be the case, but I can remember a very similar situation where I had AA with the nut flush draw and did the same thing, and sure enough I was up against a flopped flush. I beat myself up a little after the fact, though if the flush came, or if the overpair turned out to be good I would probably have congratulated myself on a hand well played.

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    1. Heh heh....One of my regrets is not trademarking the phrase "Slut Parade" (also, "the dreaded pocket Kings").

      I think the AA you describe is more defensible cuz you had the draw to the nut flush. I could have hit my flush and still lost to the Ace-high flush.

      The bad thing about my hand there is that, if even if I hit my flush,on the river, I probably don't get any value for it there.....I probably don't bet a smaller heart and he might not call me if I bet the Ace of hearts.

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  5. Revised - I deleted original comment
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The 99 hand. I'm not calling the $25. I fold.

    The KK hand with one heart and a flop of all hearts is a real tough one.

    I would have to think about all the hands I saw him play and try to figure out what his $60 dollar raise on the flop means.

    If I think it means he flopped a flush then I fold.

    If I don't think he has a flush and I think my KK is good right now. Then when he bets $60, I would just go all in.

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    1. Thanks, Nappy, Yes.....I know I should have folded the 99 right away

      I certainly thought there was a reasonable chance my KK was good when he checked raise...but I was convinced enough that I was prepared to stack off with the hand.

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    2. I meant WASN'T convinced enough, not was.

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    3. Rob:

      You don't mention the stack sizes on the 9/9 hand. If they were deep enough, it would be a good call. You were sitting on about $400 then, so if he had you covered, it would be worth the call for $25. Of course, the raise after that kind of screws you...

      s.i.

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    4. I should have noted the stack sizes, sorry. I played back my voice notes and I didn't note the stacks of the other players. But I'm reasonably certain I had the biggest stack of any player in the hand. I don't think I anyone else had more than $200. So I don't think it was a good call on my part. I think I felt like I might have been on a heater there so I got a
      Iittle crazy.

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  6. the only city i would leave the GREAT STATE OF COLORADO to live in

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    1. Which....Bel Air or Titty City?

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    2. LOL Titty city obviously. florida has WAY better beaches plus plastic bags too

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  7. My, how those promo drawings makes your play deviate from your usual rockishness.

    I can just see a future blog post: "Titty City Trip Report (this is a long one - even for me!)"

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    1. It's true, I do make some plays because of the drawings I might not make....but what a lot of the regulars have found is that a lot of the other players make a LOT of non-standard plays because of them, calling hands when they have a weak flush draw, playing ANY two suited cards....I think a lot of the grinders that play there actually like the promo because of it.

      As soon as i find out where exactly Titty City is, I'm booking a month long stay.

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  8. You understand that obese men needing a bra qualify for Titty City, right? Just checking.

    By the way I am no longer the mysterious Alysia Chang. Tony found me at the Venetian playing Omaha h/l. His version of our hand together is altogether more entertaining than I could ever tell it. I'm still LOLing.

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    1. No, Alysia, no.....that would Man-Boob City. Titty City is reserved for female breasts.

      So, you met TBC huh? But where is this version (his version) of the hand? I don't see it on his blog. I want to hear BOTH versions.

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    2. Thank you for explaining. I was unaware that the gender of the individual with the breasts was an important detail. Thank you for clearing that up.

      Okay my take on the whole dang thing? He mentioned it in the comments section of his blog briefly. I had a monster night/morning after a Blood Bowl league thing over at Orleans on Friday (like MONSTER) in the $8/16 Omaha 8/B game and did not feel like dealing with maniacs in the V $8/16 Omaha game. I actually WANTED to play with nits so I sat in the $4/8 Omaha h/l game where I think the average age was 80. I recognized TBC in the 8/16 game but figured he was probably dead- I also recognized some raise happy people in that game. Too much variance for me.

      So I sit down and play a bit. I decide that I really have a strong dislike for the guy in seat 10 (I'm in seat 9) who proceeds to tell me how I'm so lucky I raised him out because he would have beat me nearly every hand that I win a pot in. I have a few hands where I miss my draws or my A3 is trampled by A2 or my low is counterfeited so I'm down a bit but holding steady. I mean it's LIMIT, you know?

      So TBC comes over, looks over at the names on the table roster and proceeds to chat with me. He's between myself and Seat 10 and I notice there is a tiny bit of spittle that goes into Seat 10's food as TBC is talking. This for some odd reason makes me smile inside. I've been trying to set Seat 10 up for some tilting and he's easily irritated so TBC's presence is most welcome.

      TBC tries to show me his teeth and asks me if I think it's bad. I tell him that he definitely needs to get x-rays so he can figure out the condition of his roots because I can't tell. Then he talks about Vince and his phone and how he did at video blackjack. All the while this is going on, I have my eye on Seat 10 who shifts in his seat uncomfortably because TBC is like 6 inches away from him, hovering over his plate of spaghetti, adding his own unique flavor to the pasta. I then notice Seat 2 is empty and suggest the TBC take it. TBC takes the seat and I proceed to apologize to Seat 10 for chatting with TBC so close to him. Am I sincere? Do I sound believable? I don't know. He does however have steam coming out of his ears and tells me that he would have asked TBC to leave if we continued to chat.

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    3. Okay so TBC is on the other side of the table and I'm folding pretty much everything because what are you going to do with 7773 as your starting hand? I chop a couple of pots, I lose some pots and notice that TBC plays a pretty tight game, almost all premium low cards and I stay out of his way.

      Then THE hand that has me scratching my head comes up. I have something like 45KQ double suited on the button and it's limped around in a half kill pot (effectively $6/12 instead of $4/8). Killer who acts last preflop raises, everyone before me calls, including TBC. Flop comes with two low cards and a facecard (I have two pair). It's checked to the raiser who bets, gets called by TBC, another guy and myself. I'm putting the bettor on the come for a low draw. Turn is another facecard that gives me a flush draw in addition to my two pair so bettor bets, TBC and I call. River is a third facecard that gives me two top pair (Kings and Queens). It gets checked to me and I bet.

      Now here is the weird part. Tony KNOWS it's a kill pot. He's been putting in the correct amount the entire time. $6 on the flop, $12 on the turn. Suddenly he blurts out "sixteen" and starts to put 16 chips into the pot. I'm confused and so is the table. The dealer tells him it's just a call because the raise is to $24. He starts to count out $24 but the dealer stops him and calls for a floorman. The floorman asks if he raised and the dealer explains that he said "sixteen" and not "raise". Floor decides to rule it just a call and Tony looks agitated saying that there's no way he can win if he couldn't raise. He tosses in his cards upturned towards the muck and dealer says "ace high". I turn over my two pair and collect the pot. Tony then tries to explain his reasoning for his bluff. Apparently he thinks I'm capable of level 2 thinking.

      He felt that his check raise would cause me to think that he had a straight and that I would fold. And he kept saying that it would be a good play if it worked and he was allowed to raise. Even as I cashed out to grab some food and get ready for my concert, he wanted confirmation that it was a good play. He wanted me to join the PLO8 game and I had to decline due to time constraints.

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    4. Awesome story, Alysia, thanks for that. Actually, your comment was longer than some of my blog posts! I love it!

      Sounds to me like the pot was much too big for you to have folded there for one bet. Especially since you read Tony's blog and could assume that he might be bluffing.

      I do kind of feel sorry for the guy and his spaghetti, tho.

      And also.....do you have a degree in dentistry? Are you supposed to be able to diagnose bad teeth from a distance? Wow, is there no limit to your talents?

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  9. So you bet the evil hand and got called by someone who lucked their way into a rivered boat that they didn't even see - be CAREFUL... Also, you talk about the luckbox lady (ladies) you sit with (the 8 6), but the hand that got you out of the gate fast was the K3 where you turned a 3-outer against KQ. I understand why you saw the flop, but that might be considered a little lucky too, especially from KQ's perspective... On your kings, I think that you have to ask yourself what he's continuing to bet into you with, and decide if you believe him (you said he was aggro, which definitely clouds things up). As I read Alysia's comments, I thought the SAME THING! She was on a roll, and there's a niche out there for a new blog called 'Tales of the Bag Lady...'

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    1. No no no no Coach.....when I win, it's never luck, it's always skill! :)

      Seriously, I get lucky sure, sometimes I get a good run of luck, but its always short-lived. If someone else witnesses it and has a blog, they are free to call me a luckbox! But I got to calls them as I see them! Maybe that was the Bel Air Princess's only run of luck ever....but considering she lives in Bel Air, I highly doubt it!

      The KK hand was tricky and awful, especially cuz it was Kings.

      Definitely, Alysia need sot do a blog. Her posts would make mike look short!
      I meant to ask her if she had the the Trader Joe's bag on her head when she meant Tony.

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    2. Oh. Meant to add a comment about the college games yesterday, Coach. So many upsets! Hope you survived that hot mess!

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    3. Yeah, I'll be looking for a job tomorrow...

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    4. Oh man....sorry to hear that. But having a job isn't the worst thing in the world.

      Good luck, hope you find something good.

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    5. Utah????????? @coach just get a p/t gig to supplement yr poker

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  10. first id like to say theres a huge chance i might not have seen any of alysias comments (had i read the blog before she posted and NOT checked subscribe to comments). by the way im sure this happens very frequently.

    but since i am seeing them, ill give my take. i was disappointed when she went to eat, she didnt invite me along, i do have $56 in comps. but it was poor timing so i didnt suggest it, seeing my favorite game that never ever goes was just starting a table as she was quitting the $4-8. ($1-2 PLO8 had pokerkat been around and knew about the game going--but no one posted it on twitter--its the kind of game hed wanted to play.

    i sat with $285 and left hours later with $905, getting me back quite a bit of that days loss. i stayed til the game broke and i sure wish that game went a lot more often.

    i felt alysia was playing awfully tight, she was hardly ever in a pot. now i finally understood why she picked a different table, i never knew. the guy in seat 10 at her table looked familiar but isnt someone i know. it was the guy in seat 1 who wondered if i knew her. she is the one who brought up the subjext of my tooth and the phone, not me. first thing was did u get ur tooth fixed and whats the situation with ur phone

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    1. Thanks, Tony.. YES, the issue of having really great content in the comments section is a problem, most people will miss them. You have to subscribe to the comments--or just keep coming back to check--and obviously most people don't do either.

      Congrats on the big score in the game.

      And yes....get that tooth fixed!

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  11. My blog would be horribly dull. "Conjugated irregular verbs today: avere, salire and pensare. They had fresh Brussels sprouts at Trader Joe's so I picked some up along with garlic and sea salt. Will probably barbecue some chicken tonight by the pool."

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    1. No no...I was hanging on every word......

      There's always poker....and run-ins with Tony.

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    2. and birdhouse and the library

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  12. Hey, Alisia, did you know that I write a blog about Trader Joe's food EVERY DAY?! Tis true, I do. exploringtraderjoes.blogspot.com

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    1. Hmm....who;'s this Rakewell character sending me spam? Must delete......

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  13. Did I actually spell her name wrong while looking right at it? Apparently I did. D'oh! Apologies. I hate when that happens.

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