Thursday, July 17, 2014

Implants, Selfies, Hugs, Sluts....and Kim Shannon

This post is just going to be a bunch of short (seriously), random little bits and pieces that really don’t have anything to do with each other.  The one thing they have in common is that I can write them up from memory without having to do any research—that is, I don’t have to listen to my voice notes, which is time consuming.

You see, I want to finish this post tonight (Tuesday) for publication on Thursday.  On Wednesday I will need to get started on my next column for Ante Up.  And if I start writing one of my “regular” posts—you know, “Rob-sized,” I might not finish it tonight, and then I’d be in trouble with my Ante Up deadline.

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The first time I played at the Binion’s 2PM Deepstack last month, it was soon after I ran the post here, where I talked about dental implants.  So when Audrey (who I know reads the blog) came to deal at my table, she said, loud enough for everyone to hear, “So, you got implants, huh?”

I said, “Well, one implant.” 

She said, “Oh, then we can’t really talk about implants, huh?”  I laughed.  She said that the whole discussion of dental implants freaked her out, as it does many people.  Then she said, “They make it sound so easy on TV, one trip and it’s done.”

“No, it’s a long, drawn out process.”  In fact, tomorrow (as I type this) I go back to the dentist for the next step in the procedure, and I really don’t know what to expect.  Hopefully I won’t be in too much agony to post this on Thursday.

Anyway, I finally said to Audrey, “Why would you think I’d be interested in implants, anyway?

And she just replied, “Yeah, why would I think that?”

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The next week at Binion’s I ran into the lady that I called Alexandra in the post here.  And just like in the prior post, she insisted on giving me a hug because “you’re a boobs man.”  Then she added, “you know, because we hug with our boobs.”

Then, whilst we were hugging, she seemed to take extra effort to rub against me from side to side to make sure I got, um, my moneysworth.  Geez, if I had known having a reputation as a tit-man would pay off like this, I would have started advertising it back in my teens.

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While the WPT 500 was going on at the Aria, I went over to check in on it and recognized Kim Shannon, sitting at the media desk, typing her heart out.  And yes, that’s her real name.  At least, as far as I know.  Considering all the things she’s bragged about doing in you voluminous tweets, I can’t dismiss the possibility that she’s changed her name to protect her reputation.  Or define it.

It would take several of my longest posts to adequately describe and introduce you to Kim Shannon, so let’s just say that she writes about poker for PartyPoker (among other places) and has the most wicked, deviant sense-of-humor you can imagine. Nothing is too shocking for her to tweet. She is both hysterically funny and more than a bit nasty, a wonderful combination.

I actually mentioned that I was looking forward to meeting her face-to-face last year, when she came out for the WSOP.  And in fact I did meet her.  I quickly introduced myself to her while she was playing in one of the Deepstacks and she added me to her Twitter list of “poker in the flesh,” ie, poker people she’s met in person.  It was an all too short visit, but we discussed getting together for a meal before she left town.  Sadly, that never happened.  My experience with Kim was so brief (like so many of my encounters with women) that I never even mentioned it on the blog—until now.

Anyway, I re-introduced myself to Kim as she was working for the WPT 500 at the Aria.  She immediately jumped up to hug me, and then insisted that she take a selfie of us together.  Which she did, and then tweeted out.  Her tweet read:  “Sitting here minding my own business, and @Robvegaspoker comes over to say hi. We fucking heart his face.”  Here’s the accompanying selfie:


It was another all-too-brief visit, but she had to get back to work, and I had plans as well.  As I said goodbye and she jumped up and gave me a big smack on the lips.

I swear, I have more meaningful relationships with women I know mostly through Twitter and the blog than with woman I’ve known in person for years.

Later, I noticed that our mutual friend, Poker Grump, had seen the selfie and tweeted this to Kim:  “You boned him, I assume?”

And Kim replied, “Yeah, duh.”

I can assure you that Kim was just kidding.  Her Twitter persona is that of a woman who has pretty much never met a man she didn’t schtup, and I have to believe that this is an exaggeration for comedic effect.

Damn.

Oh and by the way, before saying hi to Kim, I noticed Phil Hellmuth being interviewed in front of a camera, probably for the WPT or the PartyPoker sites. He is tall. I had no idea that he was that tall.  I didn't talk to him, I didn't overhear anything he said.  So that's my only impression of him.  He's really tall.

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The same night I checked out the new Caesars Palace poker room (see here), I checked out the new Cromwell hotel/casino for the first time.  Before it closed for the remodel, it was Bill’s.  Before that, it was the Barbary Coast, one of my all time favorite places in Vegas back in the days before I played poker.

There’s no poker room and the place is very dark.  Dark and depressing.  Aside from noting how some things were in the same place they used to be and some things were not, there was absolutely nothing there of interest.  I can see no reason to ever go back.

And then I finished up the night with a brief session at the Mirage.  Nothing much to say about the poker, very uneventful.  But when I got there, I did notice they had the new issue of Ante Up on display, first time I’d seen it out.

There was a waitlist and it was so long I wasn’t sure I’d stick around long enough to get into a game, but I was actually called after a few minutes, while I was paging through the Ante Up.

About an hour later, I went to cash out.  The person at the front was the same person I’d given my name to earlier to get on the list.  Keep in mind I hardly ever play at the Mirage. There’s no reason for that except that I never seem to win there.  So no one at the Mirage knows me (except for Alaskagal and she was off this night).  As I approached the woman at the desk (which is the same place for signing up for a game and for buying and cashing in chips), she said to me, “I’m reading your column.”  And sure enough, she had the new Ante Up on the desk, open to my column.  She had recognized me from the tiny pic they have of me in the magazine—when she saw the pic, she realized she had just sent that guy to a game.

That was pretty cool.  There’s been at least half a dozen times I’ve been playing at a table and seen people reading Ante Up.  I always wondered if one of them would look up, see me, and say, “Hey, you’re the guy who wrote this article!”  That hasn’t happened yet but this was the next best thing.

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Readers are always complaining that I never post any pictures from The Slut Parade.  Well, you know, I just don’t feel comfortable trying to take pictures in that situation.

But for those of you who have never witnessed it yourself, here’s something that will help give you the flavor of it.

The excellent website, Vegas Chatter, which you should all check out regularly, recently ran a post entitled, “Vegas Nightclub Fashion Looks Like This.”  It has a bunch of pics of girls all dressed up for the Vegas clubs.  So if you click this link here and check it out, you’ll get some idea of what the Slut Parade looks like.

However, these pics were all posed, and the girls all knew that they were going to appear on cyberspace (I assume).  So I would say that this is somewhat more tame than what I see when I’m actually there seeing the girls walk by the poker room.  Maybe quite a bit more tame.  But still, it’s a start.

It would be inappropriate for me to post all the pics here, you can click that link and see them all.  I hope they won’t mind if I steal one of their pics as a sample, below.  The pic I picked actually looks more like the girls were headed out to EDC than a club (see my previous post), but I’m sure my long time readers can figure out why I went with this particular photo.

Enjoy.

25 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, BuzzedSaw. I saw that article on and wondered if I should mention it on the blog or even link to it. Seemed a bit rough. So I think it's perfect that it gets mentioned her in a comment. :)

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    2. Clicked on the links - I want to come to Vegas now!!

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    3. And Vegas wants you, Coach!

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  2. "his post is just going to be a bunch of short (seriously)"

    Short? Bwa hahaha

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    1. Come on, MOJO...each one of my stories here are barely longer than a Tweet.

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  3. Kim seems cool, and now I WANT A KISS!!! :) My thought when I read your blog about Moneymaker is that he is really shorter in real life, and yes, Hellmuth is tall...

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    1. Kim is freaking awesome!

      I didn't get the impression that Moneymaker was short but then, I'm not very tall myself.

      But Hellmuth was a giant. Seriously, if he was younger, I would have been tempted to ask him how his jump shot was and if he wanted to try out for the Lakers.

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  4. I seem to remember reading somewhere that Hellmuth is 6' 4". He's got nothing on the other Phil, Gordon, who I want to say is like 6'10".

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    1. 6'4" is plenty tall to me. Interesting about Gordon, wow.

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  5. r we talking about dudes?????????

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    1. Did you click the link for Vegas Chatter. No dudes there, anger.

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  6. Yeah - Phil Helmuth is tall. When I met him he was nice to me, so he has always been a favorite of mine. btw -- I am guessing that Prudence got jealous reading your post. : o )

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    1. Prudence isn't the jealous type, Lightning.

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    2. They're never the jealous type ............. until they are. Nice short post Rob, now bring on an epic or two.

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    3. Let me see what I can do......

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  7. the 1 in the middle made me forget bout Kate Upton for a second

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    1. Wow. I just got a text from Kate and she's pissed. She was planning on boning you next time she's up your way, but that's off now.

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    2. it is ok her bf justin verlander has fucked me over numerous times this season . LOL

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    3. So you're saying you've had sex with Kate Upton by proxy?

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    4. yes what is a proxy????? also i thought that was the kim shannon from the movie America Pie???????

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    5. I think you're thinking of Shannon Elizabeth, anger.

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    6. SO THAT ISNT HER???????????? is she still revelant in poker

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    7. As Kim herself would say, "Yeah, duh."

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