6 Way Chop in Binions Tournament!

Will have to blog more about this when I get home, but yesterday I played 10 hours in the 2PM tournament at Binions and cashed.  The final six of us chopped and I took home nearly $1200.  I was the short stack as we approached the bubble and also when we assembled the final table so it was a great showing for me.  There were 110 players; that's why it took so long (also starting stacks of $20K and 30 minute levels after the first three levels).

Didn't expect my dinner to be a quickly gobbled hot dog during one of the breaks!

Read the whole story of the Binion's tournament success here.

In Vegas Now

Been in town for a few days, so I'm too busy getting stories to post any!  Will have a few when I get back.

I will have to elaborate on this, but two nights ago I saw a guy at my table flop a Royal Flush.  No bonuses at this casino however.  Still, a heckuva hand to say the least.

Perhaps even more amazing, about five hands later, the same dealer sends me pocket Kings, and then flops me quad Kings.  Poor dealer definitely should have been working at a place with bonuses on that night!  Imagine, flopping two monsters like that in the same down.

Losing to a Royal Flush (Ouch!)

I guess this story took place during this past summer.  I was at BSC and one of my pals, Dennis, was dealing.  I had been doing ok, was down a bit but had started to make a comeback.

So I look at my cards and see Ace/Jack of hearts.  I was in late position, and someone else raised, so I just called.  The flop is AA10, 2 clubs.  Someone else bet the flop, I raised, still had two opponents to see the turn.  Trip Ace's is nice but I did have to be concerned about either a straight or a flush. Turn is 8 diamonds, it’s checked to me, so I bet and both call. River is Jack of clubs.  I liked that card.  Now I had a full house, and the fact that there were now three clubs on the board (making a flush possible) didn’t concern me.  First action was on a young kid from Australia.  This time instead of checking, he bet. I thought, “oh, nice, he made his flush, heh heh.”  Next guy actually calls.  Oh wow, how lucky can I be?

So of course I raise.  Aussie re-raises!  Hmm…..He had come to the table very recently and so I didn’t have a good read on him.  I assumed he was just oblivious to the Full House possibility—or even Quads—and was going to give me more of his money.  Next guy called two more bets!  Wow, I was gonna be paid handsomely for my boat!

I re-raised.  It wasn’t until the Aussie raised back at me that I looked at the board more closely.  Let’s see, Ace, Ten, Jack, all clubs.  If he was playing K-Q clubs, he hit a Royal Flush.  But what were the odds of that?  I should have remembered Olivia. Third guy once again calls two more bets.  All I could do is call.  With three players in the betting round, the limit is five bets.  My call is the fifth bet.

If I had had an option of re-raising again, I would have stopped and studied the board, and convinced myself that the Royal was at least a possibility and probably just called anyway.  At least that’s what I tell myself now.  But I think the Royal was so unlikely it wasn’t really a bad play to put five bets in against the long-shot of his having the Royal.  Right? 

Anyway, I could do nothing but call.  Even if I was sure he had the Royal, the pot was too big to lay down for another measly four bucks.  I called and Aussie loudly proclaims, “I have the absolute nuts!” and does indeed show King & Queen of clubs.  The other guy had a low flush, I can’t believe he kept calling our raises, he had to figure one of us had a better flush and one of us had a boat.  But that’s his problem.  My problem was that my Aces full of Jacks was beaten by a friggin’ Royal Flush!  I lost a very big pot, and this was the worst bad beat I’d ever had.  Aces full losing to a Royal Flush!!!! Aussie made me feel even worse by saying that he couldn’t believe I put in five bets.  Thanks, mate. 

And then…..Aussie couldn’t stop talking about his Royal while I was rather unhappy, to say the least.  I guess I can’t say I blame him.  It’s not every day you get a Royal Flush.  Not every day you get paid off by two guys five-betting against you on the river when you have a Royal Flush!  But he did manage to find something to complain about.  He wanted some kind of bonus from the house for the Royal.  He was told by Dennis that no such bonus existed at the BSC.  And that made me think that if they exact same hand had happened at some of the locals casinos, we might have even qualified for a “bad beat” jackpot, although frequently the losing hand must be some kind of quads, not just Aces full.

Of course, I had to get something out of this, so I made sure I told pretty much all of my dealer buddies (and a lot of players) my tale of woe for the rest of the trip.  Brent made me feel a little better when he said, “Well, at least it wasn’t heads up, so you only lost five bets on the river.  You could have lost a lot more.”  So I wasn’t wrong to raise a few times against a possible Royal? Thanks for that confirmation.

Once person I had to tell was George.  He no longer had the honor of dealing the worst bad beat of my life.  But for some reason, for the rest of my visit, he never dealt at a table I was at.  But on my last night in town, I caught him just coming off break, waiting to take his next down.  I told him the story.  He was genuinely upset for me.  And he said that there was no doubt Dennis felt awful about it…because of the bad beat jackpot possibility if it had happened somewhere else. 

It’s possible that someday I’ll have a worse bad beat, either in terms of money lost or odds against it being longer, but for sure I’ll never take a bad beat against a better hand.

Full Service

As a man who frequently visits Vegas solo, I have of course frequently encountered representatives of the world’s oldest profession.  Walking around casinos on (and off) the Strip late in the evening or early in the morning, it is impossible not to notice women who are trying to earn a leaving renting out their bodies for an hour or so.

Many of these hookers have approached me to make their pitch, and I’ve observed many of them approaching other men.  I’ve even watched from afar as a deal seemingly was made and two total strangers went off together in the direction of the room elevators.

Even though I have no interest in partaking in any of the services these girls offer, I have had an occasional conversation with them.  You can read about one such encounter I had with a working girl here.  As an observer of human behavior, a brief conversation with one of them is sometimes interesting.  But I generally prefer to avoid them and just watch them from afar; frankly, since I have no intention of ever “paying for it” I don’t want to waste their time on me.  It would be more profitable for them to go on to the next potential customer.

As it happens, a happily married friend of mine back in L.A. loves stories of any encounters with or sightings of these ladies of the evening.  He has encouraged me to pursue them (the stories, I mean).  He loves hearing about dialog I have with them and what he really wants to know is exactly how much it would cost to obtain the services these girls offer.  It actually frustrated him that I had never had a conversation with any of these women that resulted in me obtaining the answer to the immortal question, “How much?”  Until this story.

This tale took place some time ago.  I happened to be parked in the parking structure at New York New York, which is very convenient as there are so many casinos within walking distance, and you can enter and exit it without driving on the Strip, something that is always my goal whenever I’m in town.

Ready to retire for the night, it was very late, probably around 2:30 AM.  Entering NYNY from the Strip, I took the escalator that takes you right to the Nathan's that was now long closed for the nite, the one next to the Arcade and the Roller Coaster.   I walked past the arcade, and was now in the long walkway that takes you to the parking structure. Because of the hour, the walkway was completely empty, save for one lone female walking at a normal pace about 20-30 feet ahead of me.

There was nothing particularly hookerish about her, but my Spidey sense immediately went ballistic.  She was quite skinny and was wearing very tight jeans.  But a million non-hookers in Vegas wear those.  There was just something about her.  Maybe it was the fact that she was all by herself.  You don't see a lot of unescorted gals at that hour.  They are usually with a gaggle of girlfriends or a guy.  So it was probably that.

I had been walking at a brisk pace but when I saw her and guessed she was a hooker, I immediately slowed my walk.  There would be no place to "escape" to if I was right and she started soliciting me.  I might have turned around if it was so damn late and I wasn't so tired and anxious to crawl into bed....alone.  I had just started adjusting my pace when she sensed me and turned around to look at me.  I thought maybe she was just concerned with her safety, but it soon became clear that she was exactly what I suspected.  

She slowed her walk to a crawl so I would catch up with her.  As I got closer I noticed that she was cute, not bad looking at all.  She was wearing a jacket (it was quite chilly and extremely windy) covering up whatever she had going on top.

"Are you just getting off work?" was the first thing she said to me.  I said no.  I have no idea why she thought I worked in the casino and was not a tourist. “Where am I going,” she asked.  I said to my hotel.  “Where am I staying?”  I told her the truth (probably a dumb thing to do).  She asked where the Gold Coast was, apparently not knowing (must be new in town....not surprising.  I’m sure the lure of Vegas brings new hookers into town by the bushel full)  I told her it was on Flamingo.

There was a long pause.  We were now walking side by side, she was keeping up exactly with my pace. But to her credit she didn't get that close to me.  Then after the pause she asked, "You wanna party?"

I wasn't surprised and I don't think I acted like I was, but she must of thought I was.  "You didn't know that was coming?"

I said no thanks.  Remembering a line I had in my head ready for the next time a gal approached me, I told her I had just lost all my money playing poker. (Fortunately, that was not true).

She was sympathetic.  "Oh that's too bad."

But she wasn't ready to give up.  "So, how long you staying in town for?"

What the hell.  I told her a few more days.

"Why don't you give me your phone number?"

I replied, "I don't think so.....I don't have that kind of money."

This made her chuckle but I was hoping it might get her to introduce the discussion of exactly how much, but she didn't bite.  She didn't say anything but kept walking right along side of me.

So after a couple of seconds, I decided this was as good a time as any to find out the answer that had my friend back in L.A. and I had pondered for so long. "So.....hypothetically speaking, how much would I need for something like that?"

"It's five hundred."

I was a bit stunned.  "$500?"  She could hear the shock in my voice.

"Five hundred for full service.  If, you know, for just oral, it'd be three."

I assumed by full service she didn't mean an oil change, lube and tune-up.  

I said, “Well, that's interesting, but like I said, I'm out of money.  I can't afford that.”

"Well, maybe you're luck will change.  Why don't you take my number in case it does."

"Thank you, but sorry, no."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

A long pause as she kept walking with me.....then finally she said, "Well, have a good night" and stopped walking and started looking at her cell phone.  And that was that.

Five hundred huh?  I suspect that figure was negotiable, but since I wasn’t interested in what she was selling at any price, I’ll just have to assume that as the going rate.  Interesting.

Two Great "Woman Said" Stories I Read on The Web

Here’s a couple of stories I found at the poker forum of Two Plus Two Publishing.  I don’t plan on telling “other people’s stories” here and certainly not copy from other websites, but these two stories are just too good not to share.  And they fit into one of this blog’s favorite category, the “woman said” story.  Also, another favorite topic of mine….”the Jennifer Tilly Effect.”  That’s where a female poker player takes advantage of the gifts Mother Nature—or a plastic surgeon—gave her to display significant cleavage at the poker table in order to distract her male opponents and thus have an edge at the table. 

The forum I got these tales from publishes books on poker.  A lady poker player who had only played online wanted other women to tell her what it might be like if she played live poker and was one of the only—if not the only—female at the table.  The entire thread is worth reading, you can see it here:  http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/189/thats-what-she-said/live-poker-experiences-1037446/

Both of these stories were posted by female poker players.

The first story can be found at:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showpost.php?p=26672584&postcount=9

Most of the people at the lower stakes tables are not pro's but your average joe just looking for some fun. If you can get them thinking about your tits instead of thinking about your cards, that's a HUGE advantage. Once you move up you will find this works less and less, but still - Guys (and some girls!) are gonna stare and the more they do, the less information they are getting.

Perhaps relevant - Below is a convo I had with my bro Dave a few years ago after a long session in Reno

Dave - "You should have seen this table!"

Me - "Loose as hell? You make - "

Dave - "Naw man, this one girl...her tits were AMAZING dude!!"

Me - "Tits?" (Pause) "How much are you down?"

Dave - "About 1k"

Me - "You've lost half your roll to a girl and we just got here?"

Dave - "Yeah but dude...HER TITS!!! They were.....*gets a PRICELESS blank look on his face*....oh ****. I just got played, didn't I?"

Me (Laughing) - "Yes, yes you did. Hope it was worth it!"

Dave (After a moments pause) - "....no. But man.....those TITS!"

I still enjoy needling him every now and then with "THOSE TITS". So much fun. :-D

Here’s the other story, originally located here: 

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showpost.php?p=27175312&postcount=22

Him: Young gun walks up to table.

Me: Sitting behind big stack of chips.

Him: Sits down across from me and says nervously "Nice Stack".

Me: Grab Tits in both hands and push together while saying "Thanks Man!"

Him: Turns red and says "Uuuuhhhhh..."

Me: "Oh STACK?  , I thought you said RACK  . My Bad  .

The rest of the table gets really quiet and nervous. I proceed to stack more chips.

Tampon Girl

This story dates back to when World Cup was going on most recently, whenever the heck that was.

I was at BSC, playing the usual 2/4 limit game.  Two women, late 20’s, maybe a bit older, joined the table, one at a time.  They were together.  They were both rather unattractive and both considerably overweight.  One was blonde; the other brunette.  The brunette was rather quiet, didn’t say much, except occasionally talked to her friend.  The blonde was something else, though.

She was beyond chatty.  She was a non-stop talker, making comments about anything and everything; poker, Vegas, food, current events, you name it.  For a long time she didn’t say anything that was of remotely of interest to me, so I tuned her out.  She was fairly obnoxious, to be sure.  And did I mention unattractive?

But I was paying attention when one of my favorite dealers, Brent, came to deal.  Brent deals fast, probably the second fastest dealer in the room.  The blonde girl took note of this.  After watching him deal a few hands, she said to him, "So Brent, aside from dealing poker, what else can you do with those fast hands?"

Brent laughed, hesitated for a few seconds and finally said, "I wish my girlfriend appreciated fast."

Blonde girl replied, "No, I was just interested in the fast hands and what you can do with them.....I'm not interested in a jackrabbit."

Brent wisely decided to not pursue the conversation any further and thus keep his job.

Not long after that, I pulled a pill case out of my pocket to get some aspirin.  I can’t say the blonde girl was the cause of my headache, but she probably didn’t help.  She hadn’t said anything specific to me up until that point, her wonderful chatter was for everybody to “enjoy”, but she was suddenly interested in my medications.  “Say, what’s that in your pill case over there?”  I told her it was aspirin.  She replied, “Aspirin?  Really?  You sure it’s not Viagra?”

I didn’t miss a beat.  I said what any man would say in that situation.  “No, it’s aspirin.  I don’t need Viagra, thank you.”  Of course, I had to bite my tongue, because I so wanted to add, “Unless I had to schtup you, that is. But in that case, I’m not sure there’s enough Viagra in the world!”  I wanted to say that, but being a gentlemen, I did not. Despite the fact that she certainly deserved it.  I just shook my head in disbelief. 

Anyway, she blathered on.  It so happens, everyone else at the table was male, and there were a bunch of World Cup fans playing.  Something controversial had happened recently in a World Cup game, and the soccer fans there ranted on and on about it.  I have no idea what they were saying—as with the blonde girl’s talk, I was tuning out, having zero interest in soccer. 

The soccer talk got so intense, the blonde girl had no choice but to shut up for awhile, she actually couldn’t get a word in edgewise.  Finally, there was a slight pause in the soccer talk.  I’m not sure if the soccer talk was over or they were thinking of more to add on the discussion, but suddenly the obnoxious blonde blurted out, quite loudly so everyone at the table could hear, “So…..what do we all think of the new tampons?”

Reaction was mixed.  Some laughs, some stunned silence, some head-shaking.  In all my years of playing poker, this was I was sure the first time I’d ever heard the word “tampon” used at poker table.  But then, I had just had my manhood questioned for the first time at a poker table too.  After the stunned silence, one of the guys at the table said meekly, “Well, I hear they’re really absorbent.”

“Tampon Girl” kept blabbing on and on until she finally ran out of chips.  Didn’t see her or her friend again the rest of my trip, which I was not at all unhappy about, even if she did give me a rather unusual tale to tell.

Further Adventures in No Limit

Attempting to gain more experience in No Limit Hold Em, I returned to The Bike today and once again played in their 1/3 No Limit game.  Bought in for $80 as last time. 

Scored big time with the third hand I was dealt.  UTG first hand, folded.  Big Blind second hand, no one bet, we chopped.  Now Small Blind, I am dealt 8-4 offsuit.  Ugh.  Before it was my turn to act, there were two limpers, no raise.  Now I'm thinking, I get a 33% discount to call, why not risk two bucks to try and win an early pot.  So I called.  Plan was foiled when the Big Blind raised to $9.  Both limpers called.  Now I knew I should fold here, but remembering the wild action at this room from last time, I figured I might have pretty good implied odds even if I didn't have good actual odds.  In otherwords, if I got lucky on the flop, I might get lots of action and have one or two players put a lot of chips in for me.  No one could put me on 8-4, especially since it was the first hand I'd played at that table.  So what the heck, I'll risk $6 more dollars.  Unless the flop hits me big, I'm out nine bucks but that won't kill me.

The flop indeed hit me big.  It was 8-4-3, rainbow.  I flopped two pair.  I was about to bet when I realized a check-raise was a much better idea.  I checked.  The pre-flop raiser bet $25.  Wow, that's a big bet, I thought.  Next guy folds but the other player called.  Now we are looking at a big pot where I'm pretty sure I've got the best hand.  There's no reason to call here, the play is to raise.  But as the pre-flop raiser bet $25, if I raise the minimum I can raise to is $50.  I only have $71 left.  As I learned two weeks ago, it makes no sense to raise more than half your stack.  You're pot committed, so you have to go all in.  Which I did.

The big blind who had bet out the $25 folded.  But the other guy called. I had him covered, so he only put in around $55-$60 more. The turn was a blank and just because I'm a great guy (or actually, because I was extremely lucky) the river was another 8, giving me a full house.  Even before I flipped my cards, the other player said, "You win."  Obviously he must have been on a draw or had high cards that never hit, I didn't need to fill up on the river.  But I took down a very nice pot. 

Played a few hours and was pretty much card dead.  My stack shrunk, and I only added to it minimally when I got no action on my bets and raises.  I guess I had around $110 or a bit more when this next hand came up.  I was again the small blind.  Big Blind was a new player who had only played a few hands and had most of his $100 buy-in left.  I was dealt pocket 6's, only the second time at this game I had a pocket pair.  The first was pocket 10's which only cost me money when someone with pocket Jacks flopped a boat.  Only one limper before the action was to me.  In low limit, that's an automatic fold, you're not getting the right pot odds to call.  But again, with two players able to put in a lot of chips if they make a hand and I make a better one, I thought it was easily worth two extra bucks to see the flop. 

Again, the Big Blind foiled my plan by raising, this time to $12.  The limper called.  It was an iffy call for me but I figured I could make a big score if I hit my set (ie, a 6 on the flop for trip 6's).  So I called.

Flop is K-8-6--I hit my set!  Again I check, planning to check raise.  Big Blind bets $12 again.  Other player folds.  Now I considered the possibility that he had raised pre-flopped with pocket Kings, and I had no read on this player, but I really thought that was unlikely.  And almost any other hand he would have raised with would put him behind me.  I thought about my raise and decided $25 wasn't enough.  I made it $40. 

I thought a call was likely, a fold was possible, but I wasn't expecting him to go all-in.  But that's exactly what he did.  I insta-called.  If I lost, I would have less than $20 left (I had him covered).  As I called he said, "You've got a set?" in horror.  Indeed I did.  Nothing mattered on the next two cards.  He didn't show, I assume he had a King, very possibly with an Ace.  It was a huge pot.

Never played another hand after this, but I left the table having won $205.  And no one called me asshole this time.  Very nice.

"I Wish Mine Were Bigger!"

This story took place a few months back, during one of the summer three-day holiday weekends. 

I arrived at BSC fairly late this particular evening due to playing in a tournament at LC2.  I had my choice of tables and choice of seats.  At one of the tables, I noticed a blonde woman with an extremely low cut top.  And that low cut top revealed plenty, because she indeed had plenty to reveal.  She was middle-aged I guess, nice face but it was hard to look up that high.  She was showing (almost) an obscene amount of cleavage.  You don’t see this kind of boobage at a poker table every day.  It was like Jennifer Tilly was there!   I’d had a rough few days both at the tables and in my personal life so I felt I deserved to be able to ogle a three-quarters exposed bosom for awhile.

So I of course I picked her table.  This was a good decision but I followed that up with a horrible one......”Cleavage gal” was sitting at seat 2, and I had a choice between seat 1, right next to her, and seat 10, on the other side of the dealer from her.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I guess I thought that being farther from her would give me a better view of that cleavage from more of a straight on perspective.  So I foolishly took a seat away from her.

You see, at the time, I didn't know that what a fun couple they were.  And by "fun couple" I am talking about this gal and her husband, not her tits.  Although her ta-ta’s were also a fun couple, to be sure.  Had I sat down next to the gal, I would have had even a better story to tell, But it was the stupidest decision I've made in the BSC poker room perhaps ever.  What the heck was I thinking???  Like I said, I didn't realize how wild and fun this couple were, so I have some excuse, just not much.  

So I settled into my seat and began giving quick glances at cleavage girl.  I soon learned that her name was Shirley and her husband was Brad.  I learned this first from seeing their names in front of the dealer, as they had players cards and were checked in.  Then I saw them introduce themselves to the guy young guys on Brad's left.  It soon became clear to me that Brad and Shirley had been chatting with these guys for some time and although they had just met at the table sometime before I had gotten there, they were becoming fast friends.  The guys were from Portland.  Between all the talk between the four of them, and all the laughter from all of them, I realized what a mistake I had made not sitting next to Shirley.  Oh, and I probably would have gotten even a better view of the cleavage too, although from a different angle. Really, what the hell was I thinking?

Actually, I was thinking of moving next to her...but it was so soon after I had sat down that it would have been a highly suspicious move.  And while debating this, the seat was taken by someone else anyway.

Early in my session, I nearly choked on my diet coke when Shirley flipped over the winning hand and announced loudly, "I have a set!" (after the other players had each revealed only two pair) A "set" in Texas Hold Em parlance is when you have a pocket pair and a third card of that pair appears on the board.  It's three of a kind, but to be a "set"—to use that slang term, two of the cards must be in your hand.  If there are two of your cards on the board and you have only one of that card in your hand, it's still three of a kind but it's called "trips", not a "set."  A lot of novice players refer to it as a set even if they have only one of the three cards in the hand....It doesn't change the value of your hand, it just shows you are not up on total Hold Em lingo if you refer to it as a "set" if you only have one of the three cards in your hand.

So you see novice players refer to just trips as a set a lot.  It's no big deal, like I said, doesn't change the value of the hand.  As it turns out, Shirley did not in fact have a set. One of her two hole cards was a Jack, and there were two jacks on the board.  She won the pot with three jacks but she didn't have a “set.” Of course, I was looking at her chest and thinking that's one of the biggest "sets" I've ever seen at a poker table, which is why I choked on my drink.  Now....at the time, I thought she was just a novice and made the mistake so many Hold Em newbies make.  But as the evening wore on and I heard some of the other things she was saying, and her husband was saying, I started thinking back to this moment and thinking that it was no newbie mistake, it was a very intentional double-entendre.  It turned out that she was not at all a novice player.  She wasn't a great player, but she was an experienced player.  In fact, it turns out that Shirley and Brad are BSC regulars, they began saying hello to some of the dealers they recognized and I'm pretty sure I've seen them before.   By them I mean Brad & Shirley.....in fact I remembered Brad more than Shirley.  That's pretty weird.  Maybe last time I saw them, I failed to notice Shirley's face!

So I started chuckling over Shirley's "set" and then I heard the two Portland guys and Brad and Shirley laughing.  I didn't hear what had been said subsequently but I think they might have made a comment like what I was thinking, about Shirley having a big set.  I was so pissed I was missing these kind of comments, if they were being made.  .

About a half hour later, I moved my seat to seat 5, across from her, next to the two Portland guys.  It was mostly to be able to hear the silly talk between Brad & Shirley and the Portland guys.   Also to get a better view.

Now closer to the interesting conversation, I can report that the four of the them, Shirley, Brad, the 2 Portland guys, were all drinking and having a great time.  There was some obviously raunchy talk going on that I couldn't quite hear, dammit.  Once or twice I heard one of them say "f***" rather softly, softly enough so that the dealer either didn't hear it or could pretend he or she didn't hear it so they never got warned.  Within minutes after Mike, one of my “buddies”, came to deal one of the Portland guys said "f***" rather loudly.  Mike warned them and they were shocked because they claimed they were saying it all nite and this was the first warning.  Mike said he was just enforcing the rules and they should have been warned by any dealer.  I said that some dealers might not have good hearing!  They acknowledged that. They wanted Mike to provide a list of words they couldn't say.  Mike said there wasn't one....but he asked if they remembered George Carlin's 7 words you can't say on TV bit and said that was a good base. He said they actually had a list that they had given the dealers years ago but he didn't have it. When the floorperson came by, Mike told him the players wanted a list of words they couldn't say.  He said made the same reference to the famous Carlin it.  Interestingly, although the floorperson was certainly old enough to know the Carlin bit, Mike is much younger than me and I was a little surprised he knew the bit.  I guess it is a classic that has lasted forever, even though many of the original words you can now say on TV (but still not the “f-word”)

For the rest of the time they were there, they kept accidentally saying “f***” and going back to the list of words they can't say with all the subsequent dealers.  One of the Portland guys wanted to know if you could say the "c-word."  Shirley seemed shocked and said she was sure you couldn't say that...then pointed out that there were actually TWO four letter c-words and wasn't sure you could say either one.  “Bitch' was discussed.  It was agreed that you could "bitch" about bad cards or say the cards were a "bitch" but you couldn't call someone a bitch.  There was just all kinds of raunchy talk going on too, a lot of it I couldn't hear, but at one point Shirley said something quite nasty about what she was going to do with (to?) Brad when they got back to their room.  It must have been nasty based on the way the Portland boys laughed but I didn't quite catch it.

Davey, an older dealer who had mentioned to me he was near retiring came to push out Mike. Mike said, "here's Davey, he's three days from retirement."  (Not sure if he was serious or just kidding).  But Davey must not have been too worried about getting in trouble because...well, you see, as Davey was waiting to finish his last hand, Shirley asked him, "Can we say the f-bomb" while you're dealing?  And Davey replied to Shirley, "You can if you do a lap dance on the table."  I was shocked because if Shirley had reported that to management Davey would really have gotten into trouble!  But she was fine with it....she laughed and just repeated, "I have to do a lap dance on the table to say the f-bomb?"  Davey then said he was just kidding and Brad said good, because nobody wanted to see him do a lapdance at the table.  

Now, some gal came to join the two Portland guys.  She pulled up a chair to sit behind them/between them.  She was a fairly attractive blonde.  I couldn't get a good look at her cuz she was blocked by one of the guys but after a few glimpses that I did get, I noticed she had even larger breasts than Shirley—no mean feat.  She was also showing cleavage, a ton of cleavage, really, and she almost made Shirley look flat chested.  

Shirley and this gal, presumably the wife or girlfriend of one of the Portland guys, got into an interesting discussion about their breasts.  I kid you not.  Unfortunately, I missed the beginning of this discussion, because I was too involved in the hand I was in the process of losing.  Some pinhead re-raised my preflop raise when he only had pocket 8's.  I had AK.  He called my flop bet when I got my Ace paired and raised me on the turn when an 8 hit!  When an Ace hit on the river, giving me three Ace's, it gave him a full house, 8's full of Aces.  He made a terrible raise, a terrible call, stayed in the hand when only had 2 outs to beat me and didn't have anywhere close to the right pot odds to call me....and hit one of the only two cards that he needed to win.  I was so freaking pissed!

Anyway, as the dealer was pushing the pot to the a-hole who just beat me, I started hearing what Shirley and the Portland girl were saying.  They were discussing their tits.  I missed the beginning of this discussion, as I said.  I don't know how it started.  But the first thing I heard was Shirley saying, "I wish mine were bigger' and then she grabbed her tits with both hands and squeezed them and pushed them up! Right there at the poker table.  Then she said, "If I was younger, I'd get them bigger."  I couldn't hear exactly what Portland Girl said in response, but she complained about something about her breasts. Shirley asked if they were "saline" and the girl said they were.  Shirley said yeah, she hears that's a problem with saline.

So what was going on was that Portland Girl had implants (not surprising considering their size....but you couldn't tell for sure with the way her cleavage showed) and was complaining about something about them to Shirley. What she was complaining about, I have no idea. Shirley knew that was a issue with the kind of implants she had gotten.  This begs the question.....is Shirley fake also?  I had been debating that all night as I was observing, and couldn't convince myself either way.  Just not quite enough information to be certain.  Now this....when I first heard it, I thought they might have been comparing implants.  And Shirley may have been indicating that she when she had gotten the boob job, she wished she had gotten bigger ones.  Or she may have just been saying that wanted her own natural bosom enhanced, she may have known about this problem with saline implants due to her researching the possibility of getting a boob job.  The joke is that Shirley wants her huge breasts bigger! Jesus, she already is overqualified to pull off the Jennifer Tilly effect, what more does she want?

At this point, Brad leaned over to one of the Portland guys and, for reasons I'm unclear on, said, "If your brother were here, I'd let him feel them"...clearly meaning Shirley's breasts.  The other Portland guy quickly said, "I'm his brother, so it's ok if I feel them."  Everyone had a good laugh about that.  But no breasts were felt at this table, other than Shirley feeling her own.  

No idea whether or not I won on this particular session, but I left the game sometime after Shirley and Brad did, having gotten both a eyeful and an earful.

(Edited to add:  A follow up to this story--another poker session with Shirley and Brad--appears here.)

Kissing in the Boys Room

Months ago, I was playing poker at the BSC and needed to use the Men’s Room.  It was a little after midnight on a Saturday night.  I wanted to wait until the dealer button was in the best position to give me enough time to go and come back without missing my blinds.  Unlike a lot of inconsiderate players, I try to do my best to not miss the blinds.  Just at the best opportunity, the waitress came around and I ordered a drink.   Ordinarily I don’t leave the table after ordering because I don’t want the waitress to drop off the drink without me there to tip her.  But I figured the waitresses were so busy this night that I had enough time to hit the Men's Room and make it back to the game before the waitress brought my diet coke. 

So I made a beeline for the Men’s Room.  As I was about to enter it, I notice an attractive girl waiting right next to it, actually leaning on the entrance to it.  Her back was to the Women’s Room, and she was facing the entrance to the Men’s Room so that every man going in there would see her.  My assumption being that she was waiting for some guy to come out of there.  That’s a little unusual because it’s a lot more common to see a guy waiting outside the Women’s Room for a gal than vice versa.  But anyway, the girl was standing there and I noticed her left breast was flashing red.  I also noticed she was exposing a rather good bit of cleavage.

The cleavage is hardly unusual for Vegas (in fact, it’s pretty much required by law), but you don’t usually see tits flashing red.  (I’ve seen girls flashing their tits before, but not their tits flashing red)  Upon further inspection, I noticed that pinned over her left breast was some kind of pin or broach that was doing the flashing.  I couldn’t make out exactly what it was, but it was kind of vertical, like it might have been a representation of a building or something like that. Anyway, this was interesting to say the least, and if I hadn’t been in a hurry I might have slowed down to get a better look and a better reading on what was flashing on her chest.  But since I was in a hurry to get back to the game, I made a mental note to try to exit slowly to check her out some more when I left the Men’s room if she was still there when I was done.

When I got into the Men’s room I was surprised to see there was a line of guys waiting to use the urinals.  Now, the restrooms near the poker room are the smallest restrooms in the BSC by far.  It has just five urinals and three stalls.  I dunno how small the girls room is but it’s not at all unusual to see a line of chicks waiting to get in there backed out into the casino.  And I’ve seen a line at the urinals before, but usually only when the place is really busy.  This night it was not.  The place had been dead all weekend.  I was surprised to see I had to wait, and now I was concerned about taking so long that I would either miss my blinds, miss the cocktail waitress, or both.  I started to consider leaving right away and waiting to go later…..the need to go wasn’t that urgent that I couldn’t wait.  So I was debating that in my mind, and still thinking about the girl with the flashing tit, and thus was not able to totally focus on what else was going on the tiny restroom. 

But as I was deciding to wait it out, I did notice that the last stall in the room, the one farthest from the door, was actually open, in fact it was being held open by some guy.  The guy was wearing a official looking shirt which made me think he was an employee of the BSC and probably some maintenance guy.  He was looking in towards the toilet and he might have been talking to someone in there, I’m not sure.  My initial thought was that he was observing that the toilet either needed to be cleaned or had a plumbing problem that needed to be addressed, like it was stopped up or overflowing.  But I wasn’t really paying that much attention because I only needed to use a urinal, not a toilet.

It was then that I started to hear some comments from the guys in line to urinate.  Again, I wasn’t paying that much attention to them.  But the gist of the comments were, “There’s a woman in the Men’s Room.”  “There’s a drunk women in the Men’s Room.”  “She’s drunk, she didn’t know where she was, that’s why she’s in the Men’s Room.”  Since I wasn’t really focusing on this at all, I kind of thought the guy saying this might have been telling his buddies some story that already had happened, not observing what was happening right before my eyes.  That was my initial feeling anyway.  I also wasn’t paying enough attention to realize that the comment about her not knowing where she was because she was drunk, and that was the reason she was in the Men’s room, was said in a very sarcastic manner.  Only when I recreated this in my mind did I take note of the sarcasm. At the time, I saw no woman and had no reason to think he was talking about this particular restroom at this particular time.

That is, until I saw a girl emerge from the open stall.  The maintenance guy then escorted her through the room to the exit.  The girl was very attractive, late 20’s/early 30’s, and well dressed….a little sexy but not nearly slutty enough to be a hooker or even one of the club-going hotties that you see so frequently.  So, she looked attractive but not at all slutty.  Now I started focusing on all this, ran back the guy’s comments about there being a woman in there in my mind, and tried to make some sense of this.  But I was still too distracted to notice one very important thing.  I’m afraid I cannot tell you with any certainty whether or not a guy came out of the stall with this girl or not.  That’s a key element and I just can’t be sure, I just had too many other things going on in my mind to notice, and I didn’t realize until later that this was something I should have focused on.  I apologize for this hole in the story.

But if I had to guess, I would say there was no guy with her.  Because as she walked past  the line of guys waiting to take a piss, and also walked past five guys with their backs to her and their dicks in their hands, whizzing, she went over to the first guy in the line and said to him, “I love you!” and kissed him right smack on the lips!  And my first thought about this was that the guy she kissed must have been her boyfriend/husband who escorted her into the Men’s room because she was in desperate need to use it and the line in the Women’s room was too damn long and she just couldn’t wait.  That was the thought I had for one second.  That thought left my mind when the girl skipped passed the second person in line and approached the third person in line.  That third person in line was me!  She walked right up to me and said, “I love you!” and moved into to kiss me.  It happened too fast for me to do much of anything about it.  I was too stunned and had no time to react or to stop it or anything.  Fortunately, unlike the previous guy, she missed my lips and got me on the cheek, right next to the lips but just missing them.  The girl was obviously drunk, but not so falling down drunk that she need help walking,  But the maintenance guy did take her arm and kind of dragged her out of the Men’s room.  I was the second, and the last, guy she kissed. 

Now, as I was trying to focus on this and put everything together in my mind, I heard the other guy who had been kissed shouting something….it was  “Yuck….I was kissed on the mouth by a girl who had just sucked a cock!  Yuck.”  He repeated this a couple of times. It wasn’t at all clear to me if he was making a joke or he was genuinely upset, and if he really knew whether the girl had just given someone a blowjob or not. 

As for me, I was glad the girl had missed my lips for another reason…..the thought occurred to me that she might have been using that stall not for the purposes of performing oral sex, and not to go number one or number two, but to toss her cookies.  Drunk as she was, it was entirely possible to me that she might have had to urgently use the toilet for that reason and went to the Men’s room because the Women’s room was too crowded. However, I detected no scent from her at all…no perfume, no semen, no vomit. But for a host of reasons I was still glad she missed my lips. 

So finally it was my turn to use the urinal and I was recreating the whole incident in my mind, and I wondered now what had really been going on in that stall.  I finished up, exited the restroom and noticed the girl with the flashing tit was gone.  I wondered if maybe she was waiting for her girlfriend, the girl in the Men’s room?  I have no idea.  I have no real way of connecting these two chicks, other than that they were both gone by the time I left the bathroom.

But as I made my way back to the poker room (and was in a hurry because I had taken so long), I overheard the guy from the restroom repeating several times, loudly in the casino, that he had been kissed by a girl who had just sucked a cock.  And how disgusted by it he was.  It was only then that I noticed something very weird about this guy and the two buddies he was saying this to.  They were all wearing skirts.  Now, I’ve seen (in Vegas) men wearing kilts.  But these really didn’t look like kilts, they looked like skirts.  And I saw that they all had the same black t-shirts on which a lot of text on the backs of the shirts.  I suspect that if I had taken the time to read the shirts I might have gotten a clue as to why these guys were wearing skirts.  But I was in too much of a rush to get back to the game to do so.  So, I’ll never know.  Just as I’ll never know what really took place in that Men’s room stall.

But to answer your most pressing question, I did make it back to the poker table in time for both the cocktail waitress and the blinds.  I also immediately realized that this was an unusual enough story that it had to be documented.  And even more bizarre, this was the first of a string of “women in the bathroom” stories I’ve picked up since.  In fact, for awhile, it seemed like at least once a trip, I would run into a woman in a Men’s Room somewhere in town.  None of the subsequent ones have been as interesting as this one, sadly.  Or perhaps, fortunately.

The Midwest Housewife and the Nude Male Dancer

About two weeks ago I got involved in one of the most unusual conversations I’ve ever had at poker table or in Vegas generally.  It started at my normal 2/4 game at BSC.  Sitting immediately to my right was Cindy, a forty-ish Midwest housewife and mother of two grown kids (that’s how I figured her to be forty-ish; she looked younger). 

Cindy and her husband came to Vegas for one of their regular visits to, among other things, play poker, both of them.  And Cindy didn’t come to play poker to sit quietly at the table, no sir.  She was one of the chattiest people I’ve ever encountered at a poker table.  So I learned about her kids and how she can drive around 45 minutes from her hometown and go to a poker room and that she also plays a lot of home games with friends.  She talked pretty much non-stop. It got close to being too much talk, but she was such a pleasant, nice lady it was ok.  Despite all these facts I learned about her, what she mostly talked about was poker....she commented on every hand, every hand she had, the play of every hand of the table.  She was real friendly and talked with everyone nearby, and basically spoke a book about poker during the evening.  

After an hour or so, a young, athletic-looking fellow came to the table that I vaguely recognized.  I saw the name “Freddy” as first on the list when he took his seat.  I started to remember Freddy….played with him a few times before at BSC.  My memory was that he is now a local, came to live in Vegas a while ago, perhaps a year back to train for his athletic career.  I’m pretty sure he I remember him saying he had gotten a job shining shoes at the Airport to make ends meet while he trained and waited for his athletic career to blossom.

After Freddy had been at the table for some time—and hadn’t been doing well, pokerwise—I started notice something unusual.  Twice I noticed the dealer asking a chip-runner for more chips and then counting out a boatload of singles to buy them with.  At one point I even commented, 'What, did someone break into their piggy bank?"  Not long later, Freddy ran out of chips once again (he was having as bad a night as I was) and this time I noticed he was buying $40 in chips in forty one dollar bills.  Yeah, he gave the dealer forty singles and was clearly the source of all the singles the dealers kept getting rid of.

This helped me remember Freddy.  I assumed he had all those one dollar bills from getting tips at the airport, shining shoes. Made sense to me.

Boy was I wrong.  The next time he bought more chips (like I said, he was having a tough nite of poker), the dealer—who clearly knew Freddy—said to him, "I guess you worked last night."  I was still thinking shoe-shine so I didn't pay much attention but I guess he said yes.  Cindy heard this, noticed the one dollar bills and said to Freddy, who she had been chatting with like all of us on this side of the table, "Oh, are you a stripper?"  I actually didn't hear her say this, I wasn't paying attention. Cindy told me this a few days later when we were laughing over this incident. She was just joking, or so she thought.  But Freddy looked kind of sheepish, kind of uncomfortable, and then reluctantly said, "Well.....as a matter of fact.......yes, I am."  Freddy started filling in a few details before I started tuning in.  I think I first noticed when I heard the words "Palomino Club."  So Cindy got some details I hadn't heard.  But all of a sudden I noticed Cindy was pumping Freddy (so-to-speak) for info on his nude dancing career.  Once I figured out what Freddy was talking about, I knew I was gonna have a story worth re-telling and got involved in the conversation.

I asked Freddy directly....."You're a nude dancer?"  Yes.  "At Palomino Club?" Yes. It's in North Las Vegas.  "I know, I've heard of it.  But I didn't know they had male dancers there."  They do. They have males dancing Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.  The rest of the time is just girls, but on those nights it's both.

I was shocked to say the least.  Of course, it had been well over 20 years since the last time I was there. And I can assure you the only people taking off their clothes at that time were women.  So I said, "What is it, like a Chippendale's show?"  Freddy laughed, said, "not exactly" and then Cindy said, "Oh no, this is a lot more than Chippendales.  There's full male nudity." Now I have to assume that Cindy had already gotten this info from Freddy before I tuned in, although I suppose it is possible that Cindy had more firsthand knowledge of this show! But I doubt that.  I said, "full male nudity....you get totally nude?"  Freddy said yes, there's full frontal male nudity on these shows, and yes, he get's completely naked on stage.  He went to explain that the Palomino Club was the only place in town that had both alcohol and full frontal nudity.  I said I knew that but I thought that was only women, I didn't know they had guys dancing naked. He repeated that they have the shows on the weekend for women to enjoy the nude male dancers. 

Wow. I don't remember if it was Cindy or me who asked if he does lap dances.  But the answer is yes, he does.  They have private booths for that. Cindy knew what that could possibly lead to, so she asked him if any actual "sex" was ever involved. He explained that there are rules and that of course it is not allowed, but if "some of the dancers want to break the rules and they get away with it....."  He was totally third person discussing this but if I had to guess, he's schtuped his share of gals in the private booths.  He said they have to be careful because you can see the booths’ motion and figure out what is going on.

Cindy asked, "If you're totally naked, where do they put the tips?"  He laughed.  Most of the tips come when they are dancing before they get totally naked.  But.....when they dance they sweat and the dollar bills stick to their sweaty skin.  Also there are girls who are basically "tip runners" who pick up the tips for them.  She asked if the dancers are on as a group or individually.  He said some of the guys work in two man teams but he always is a solo act.

I asked if only women were allowed into the show or if guys were allowed to watch them too.  I suppose in retrospect that may have sounded like I was interested in seeing the male nude show, but fortunately no one accused me of this and Cindy agreed that it was an excellent question.  The answer is that guys are allowed only as part of a couple (and the other member of the couple has to be female, it can't be two guys).  And then sometimes the couple will want a private or lap dance.  He says a lot of the guys who come in are turned on watching their girlfriend or wife interact with the nude male dancer in the booth.  And if the dancer wants to interact with the guy too....well that's up to him.  Freddy indicated that he wouldn't do that.

I had to ask....what is the age group of the women who come to see this show?  He said it is mostly women in their 30's, but it is really all ages, some gals in their twenties, middle-aged women and some are grandmothers or older......Of course he said there were a lot of bachelorette parties, divorce parties, things like that.  He also said something that really surprised me....a lot of the female strippers who work there come in to see the guys.  They are the best tippers!  Then I asked if these women customers were usually attractive or usually not so attractive.  He said there are all types but there are plenty of good looking women who enjoy the show.  

If Freddy seemed sheepish at first, by this time he was totally uninhibited talking about this. Cindy was saying that she felt there was nothing wrong with what Freddy was doing.  "You're young, you’re athletic, You're good looking.  Why not?"  Then she went to say, "You know, would a parent approve of this for their child?  I guess not but there are worse things you could be doing.  I mean, my daughter is gorgeous.  She could easily be a stripper.  Would that be my first choice?  I guess not....but it wouldn't be so terrible.  It’s honest work."

Cindy went on to mention some Showtime reality show I'd never heard of, "Gigolos" which supposedly features real Las Vegas gigolos and has full frontal male nudity (Cindy was quite adamant to point that out....I guess she is a fan of the show).  She said it shows the guys and the “agents” who are really pimps who set up their "dates" and such.  She said most of the guys were not very good looking and that was surprising to her.  Now at that point I wanted to say something like, "Well if the show has full frontal nudity they must show you what the women are really paying for...." but I had already made enough comments that might make me seem gay so I held my tongue!  Freddy said that some guys do make "dates" with the gals (and the couples) and he was very clear to only talk in third person.....as to what they charge for in-call service, well they have to be careful because at Palomino Club it is a lot of locals.  If the guy accepts a low rate, word gets around (that they can be rented “cheap”) and it ruins their reputation.  The guys who work some of the clubs closer to the strip, which he has also worked in the past, have an easier time accepting a low rate from some tourist gal because the word won't get around.  He mentioned Treasures and Sapphire Club as places he's worked as a male nude dancer.   

This discussion of the show “Gigolos” led to a brief detour about “swingers.”  Cindy said, almost disappointedly, that you never really know anything about your neighbor’s sex lives.  She said, "I mean you never really know who's having sex.  I don't think anybody in my Midwest neighborhood is having sex, but who knows, maybe they are!"  By “having sex” she clearly meant outside of marriage (wife-swapping, hookers, gigolo's, illicit affairs).  I had to bite my tongue to avoid saying something like, "You mean, you're not having sex with your husband in back home?" but I thought better of it. I knew what she meant.

During this discussion a regular dealer was replaced by a fill-in I’d never seen before. He was mum during all this but at one point Cindy said to him, "Quite a conversation you are listening to, isn't it?"  He just smiled.  "How are you able to keep up on the game with all this unusual discussion going on?"  He said he has the ability to multi-task.

By the time the next dealer had come in, the topic had been pretty much exhausted. One of the regular female dealers took over and she had heard none of this discussion. But then Freddy need to buy in for more chips, which meant he counted out more single dollar bills.  As the attractive female dealer picked them up off the table to count them, I leaned over to Cindy and said, "She doesn't know where those dollar bills have been."  Cindy laughed and said she was thinking the exact same thing.

Shouldn't She Have Bought Me Dinner First?

A couple of weeks ago I was playing in a poker tournament at Binion's, downtown.  A woman took the seat next to me who was escorted by a guy who announced that the lady was blind and that he would help her with the cards, whispering in her ear what she was dealt and describing the action to her and telling her when it was her turn.  He promised that she would play the hand, he was just going to give her info. So the guy sat behind her but also sort of next to her and somewhat next to me.  He was actually next to me and crowding me a bit but it was ok.  The woman was sharp and a good player and they had this down to a science and it didn't really slow up the game.

From their talk, I wasn't sure if this guy was her husband or her father.  He looked my age and the woman, whose name was Leslie, looked a lot younger (and was cute).  But the guy could have been prematurely gray and also he had a gray beard that may have made him looked older than he was.

At one point though I think I got my answer.  Leslie won a big pot and was excited about it.  Suddenly I felt something on my leg.  At first I thought it might be a purse strap but the thing started rubbing me.  It was my upper thigh.  I looked down and saw it was Leslie's hand rubbing my leg.  Obviously she thought she was rubbing her companion's leg, not mine.  So now I am pretty sure the guy is her husband and not her father, the way she was rubbing my leg.  At least I sure as hell hope so.

I didn't know what to do.  It was an awkward situation for me to say the least.  But within a couple of seconds Leslie’s husband caught this and said to her, "Leslie, that's not my leg you're rubbing, it's the gentlemen next to you."  She laughed and apologized and immediately took her hand off my leg.  Then she said, "Well, you notice, he didn't seem to mind it."  I just laughed and said it was fine.

Later I told the story to a female player at the BSC, a regular there, a pal of mine, someone I’ve played poker with many times.  When I got to the part of the story where I said, “I didn't know what to do" she said to me, "Yeah, before she started rubbing something else."

Indeed.

The next night I told Jack, the dealer at BSC.  He had an even better line.  Everyone at the table heard my story and laughed, and when the chuckling stopped, Jack asked me, “So is that your idea of a blind date?”

I Paid for These!!!

This story dates back to the time I was staying at Excalibur.  It was middle of summer and about 184 degrees outside.  The Excalibur has these two moving walkways for people coming and going from the casino to the Strip.  It was late afternoon and I got on the walkway to exit the Excalibur for the Strip.

From a distance, on the other walkway coming towards me, I saw two young girls, probably just barely old enough to be allowed in a casino.  One was wearing some kind of swimsuit coverup but the other girl was wearing nothing but a bikini—a very skimpy bikini.  Since she was coming in from the Strip, the implication was that she had been walking on the Strip—nowhere near a pool—in just the skimpy bikini.  And possibly had walked in other casinos dressed like that.  And now definitely was about to walk through the Excalibur casino like that.  But hey, it's Vegas.

As the I got closer to the girl I noticed she was very attractive.  And she had a terrific figure.  She also had rather large breasts, which were generously displayed by the aforementioned skimpy bikini.  I jumped to a fairly quick conclusion that her breasts were not entirely god-given.  The rest of her body was way too trim for those big ones.

Still, I was enjoying the view when I noticed that about 10 feet in front of me on the same walkway I was on were three young guys, about the same age as the girls, yelling and whooping it up.  I couldn't make out anything they said, they just seemed to be enjoying being in Vegas.  I'm sure they noticed the girls, especially the one in the skimpy bikini, but I could not tell if they were saying anything to the girls or not.

Thus, when the girl in the skimpy bikini did what she then did, I don't know if it was in response to anything the guys said to her, or merely the result of her noticing they were checking her out.  How do I know they were checking her out?  Because it would be impossible to find a single man on the planet who would not be checking her out given her skimpy bikini, that's why.

Anyway, what prompted this I'll never know, but as the girls and the guys were about even on the two opposing walkways, the girl in the skimpy bikini suddenly extended her arms straight out on either side of her body and began shaking her ta-ta's like a Vegas stripper.  And then she loudly exclaimed, "I paid for these!!!  Woo Hoo!  I paid for these!!!"

Well, I was right about something.