I Played Live Poker....Seriously! (Part 2)

The Dreaded Pocket Whats? (Part 2 of 2)

Part 1 is here and we pick up right as I enter the Morongo poker room. I asked about the games.  The electronic waitlist was on display in the casino right above the sign that said "poker room." There were long lists for all the games.  Most of the games had lists longer than the board allowed for names.  There were like 25-35 names for each game.  I did notice that names at the top of each list that had the phrase "called in" after them.  Good to know that they accepted call ins.  I did forget to ask how long they keep the names on the list if you call in.

They had one table each of 1/2 ($40-$100), 1/3 ($100-$300), 5/10 ($500-$3K) and 3/6 limit with a kill ($30 min).  There were two tables of 2/5 ($200-$500).  There was also an interest list for 4/8 limit.  Why they kept that, I dunno.  With those long lists and their obviously inability to open a new table, there was no chance any of the existing games would break so that they could start that 4/8 game.  There might also have been some kind of Omaha game running, at this point, I can't quite recall.  The guy at the podium told me they were limited to 8 tables at this point.  I think maybe I saw a semi-private room that might have had a bigger game going, not sure.  All I knew for sure was that they were not able to open any more tables despite the long lists.

I was pretty much prepared for this.  I knew I'd have a long wait, and I knew that in order to increase my chances of playing any poker this day I had to get my name on as many lists as possible.  The guy told me I could put my name on multiple lists, and if I was in one game, I could stay on the list of the other games and move if called there.

So I put my name on the lists for 1/2, 1/3, 2/5 and the 3/6 limit game.  The 3/6 game was somewhat pointless.  Although that list was only like 20-25 names I think, with only one table I didn't think there was any chance I'd get called any time within three hours.  Limit players tend to last longer than no-limit players.

The two longest lists were the 1/2 and the 1/3, both were like 30+.  I didn't think there was any chance of me getting into either one.  Maybe the 1/3 (the one I wanted) because it was actually shorter. Yes, more people wanted to play 1/2 at $40-$100 than 1/3 at $100-$300.  This is Southern CA.  I don't get it either.  By the way, I asked and they have absolutely no promos or bonuses during the weekend (weekdays only).  Also there are no comps!  So no need for me to even bother getting a player's card. 

I have been told that the reason players at Bike and Commerce play those $40 buy-in no-limit games is that they are just playing for the bad beat jackpot and trying to hit it for cheap.  But in this room, on the weekend, there was no point in that, you were playing $40-$100 NLH for some other reason.  Most likely, stupidity (or maybe, to be fair, you have a really good short stack game). Also it means I was getting ripped off, since they did take a jackpot rake of a buck a pot while I played, and I had exactly zero chance of getting any of that money back (just slightly less chance than I normally have). For this I blame, of course, Emperor Newsom.

My best shot at getting into any game was the 2/5 game.  Not only was it the only game with two tables running, but the list was the shortest one (other than the 5/10 game). I think it had about 17 players in front of me, and the top three were listed as "called in" so they might not even show up.

When I had decided to head over there, I knew there was a possibility that my best shot at poker would be the 2/5 game, which as you know I really don't play.  I have played 2/5 a couple of times in Vegas. And of course, I was out of practice, not having played poker of any kind in nearly six months. I had a plan for this.  I was going to buy in for the $200 minimum and play three times as tight as I normally play. In other words, I would wait for pocket Aces and otherwise fold every hand I was dealt.

In fact, I texted my buddy Lightning that I was at Morongo and would likely have to play 2/5 or leave without playing a hand of poker. He told me that 2/5 is a very different game than 1/2 or 1/3.  I said, "I'll buy in for the minimum and only play Aces.  Definitely not Kings."

So I got on the four lists, gave him my cel number, and took off.  I was told I had to leave the poker room.  There was no waiting in the poker room—again, social distancing—I had to wait outside the room.  When my table was ready, I'd get a text, and I'd have 10 minutes to get back to the room to claim my seat.  OK.

I checked out the casino.  I noticed there was a little casual eatery near the poker room, it was packed.  But imagine, a place where you could eat at a restaurant indoors in CA. Native Americans 1, Emperor Newsom 0.  There was also a food court as well.  They had a Fatburger, a Panda Express and a bunch of no-name places (at least, I didn't recognize the names). There was an Italian place that advertized both pizza and pasta.  Between that and the Fatburger, I'd be set if I wanted to eat there.  Again, indoors!  Take that, Emperor!

They didn't really have a lot of table game action. Maybe that's because the cheapest blackjack I saw was $25.  The only thing cheaper was some of the other table games, 3-Card poker and what-not, some of which was $15 minimum. I had no interest in any of that.

Nor did I have any interest in the slots.  Funny, as much as I love Vegas, as often as I've been there, I never really enjoyed playing slots and hardly ever do. I've always found it quite boring.  And also bankroll draining.  Even video poker has no appeal to me.

So I didn't play anything.  I just walked around and then found a seat at an unused slot machine near the poker room and sat and waited for a chance to play poker.  I watched the board and went over close to it every so often to see how I was progressing.  Initially my name didn't even make it on the board for the 1/2 or 1/3 games, but eventually I was at the very bottom.  But I could see I was getting close on the 2/5 board.

And eventually, after about an hour, I got texted to come to the room….it was for the 2/5 game of course.  OK, time to test that short stack strategy.  To be honest, I felt so rusty I wasn't sure I had any strategy for any game.

As planned, I bought in for $200 and took my seat.  It was seven-handed with the plexiglass dividers as advertised.  The dividers didn't bother me at all, perhaps because I was right next to the dealer.  But between the dividers and the masks, there wasn't much chatter at the table.  But who knows, it might have been that I didn't have a particularly talkative table.

Now the trouble with 7-handed isn't that 7-handed per se is bad, it's that if there is a player or two missing you are really very, very short.  And for long periods there was at least one player gone, sometimes two.  I heard one guy ask and he was told you could be away from the table for 45-minutes and still keep your seat.  I've complained about that at full-ring 9-handed games, but for 7-handed that's just absurd.  But it is what it is.  At least I can say that while I was playing, no one person was away from the table very long.

I wanted to get total trash hands for at least a few orbits so I could fold and try to learn the table.  So of course I got pocket 9's in one of the first hands I was dealt. I was in early position.  I just limped to see what would happen. Someone made it $25.  I shrugged and called.  It was heads up, The flop was Queen-high.  We both checked. We both checked a blank turn, and a blank river.  He showed pocket 10's to take it.  I suppose in my normal 2/3 game I might have bet the turn and taken it.  Or maybe he would have called and I've lost more money.

I folded a few more times and then, in the small blind, the last hand I wanted to see showed up.  Of course I mean the dreaded pocket Kings.  Yep, I suppose the fates demanded it.  Trying to play three times tighter than normal, I was destined to get pocket Kings, and so early yet.  I'd played 10 minutes of poker in the past six months, and there they were.  And here I was playing with the big boys, in a 2/5 game that I never play.

Well I promised Lightning I'd muck them, but of course I did not. A late position player raised to $15 and the button called.  As much as I am spooked with this hand, of course even I would automatically three-bet there.  But….but…..it was pocket Kings.  I was in a bigger game.  I was out of practice (do I need to be in practice to mess up pocket Kings?).  So I played chicken-shit.  No, I didn't muck them (sorry Lightning).  I just meekly called.

The flop was Q-4-4 and I checked. The preflop raiser checked but the button bet $20 and I called, the other guy called.        The turn was a 3, I checked, the next guy checked and the button bet $50.  I figured he likely just had a Queen.  I called.  The other guy folded. The river was a blank.  I checked, the other guy thought about betting but finally checked and showed a Queen.  I flipped my Kings to take the pot, leaving the other guy to wonder if I was perhaps the biggest nit in Riverside county. But it was a nice pot and I was up about $75 for the moment.

Of course I should have three-bet pre.  But based on the post flop action, I think it's a safe bet if I had, I would have taken the pot down right there and made less money.  That's not to say I played it right, just that my absurd meekness paid off that one time.

Editorial comment: As I was proofing this post, it occurred to me that I should refer to Gavin Newsom as "King Newsom" rather than "Emperor Newsom." (Wait for it) After all, I've seen many detractors of his refer to him as King on Twitter. My thought tho was that I wanted to be a bit original and Emperor sounds more self-important than King.  However, if I had called him King Newsom, I could from now on refer to Pocket Kings as "Pocket Newsoms."  And that would give me one more reason to hate them. The dreaded pocket Newsoms?  What do you think?

Much later, I got pocket Jacks in early position and made it $25.  There was one call.  The flop was Ace-Queen-x.  Ugh.  Hoping he had a smaller pocket pair and missed, I decided to c-bet $20, but he called.  The turn was blank and I checked, as did he.  The river was another blank and after my check, he bet $85.  I folded.  Did I let him steal it?  Perhaps.  I wondered if a turn bet would have ended things.  I'll never know.

I got pocket 9's on the button.  It folded to me so I bet $15 and took it down.

I got pocket 9's again (third time this day!) and called $20.  It was three-way.  Ace-high flop, there was no betting. The turn was a 10 and I folded to a big bet.

I got deuce-4 in the big blind and there was no raise, one limper so three of us saw the flop.  No one bet the flop, which did have a deuce on it.  The turn was a Jack so I bet $5 on my deuce.  One call.  No bet on a blank river.  I showed my deuce, and the guy didn't show.  I think he was hoping to win with Ace-high.

That's all the hands I noted.  Now I should mention that after playing at this game about an hour or so, I got texted that my 1/3 seat was ready.  I decided to stay where I was.  I was getting tired from the long ride out there, and figured I wouldn't be staying much longer. But I did note that even with that ridiculously long list and just one table, I could have gotten into the 1/3 game after about two hours of waiting.

Plus, I had noticed something about this table.  I don't think it was at all a typical 2/5 game.  As nitty as I was playing, nobody else was all that aggro.  I actually wondered if most of the players were really 1/3 players who were all, like me, playing the bigger game because there was less of a wait for it.  Or maybe, like me, playing more cautiously because they were out of practice. Seriously there was not a lot of three-betting, no really aggro moves, and very few all-ins.  I was holding my own, honestly.

When I was ready to call it quits, I was down $15 for the session. I was actually pretty happy about that.

Let me some a few words (ha!) about the safety protocols that were in effect. I already mentioned the temperature checks at the door.  Anytime anyone left a game, someone came by and sanitized the area he had left.  New decks were replaced every dealer change.  One thing I noticed—and I have no idea if this new or standard for Morongo—there were no automatic shufflers.  I had wondered if all the hand sanitizer would get on the cards and muck up the shufflers but they were hand shuffling so no issue (there was no space for a auto shuffler at least on the table I was at, so maybe they never used them). And the dealer also sanitized their whole area every time a new one pushed in.

It was quite impressive.  Of course, I became super paranoid and made the mistake of ordering a bottle of water instead of a diet coke. The thing is, I had to pull down my mask every time I took a sip, and also had to use two hands to open the water, and I realized that I didn't want to do any of that without sanitizing my hands every time first.  There was a bottle of hand sanitizer behind my table on some kind of bar that was otherwise unused that I kept getting up to use. Of course, you were not allowed to eat at the table.

Even before I sat down to play, I realized there was absolutely no reason at all that Bike, or Commerce, or my Ventura room, couldn't reopen this very day using the very same safety protocols. Of course someone could get the virus there, but they had greatly minimized the chances. It is ridiculous that those card rooms are still closed, and also ridiculous that you can't eat indoors in a restaurant anywhere in CA outside of an Indian casino.  You go, you Native Americans!

I left feeling quite happy about finally getting out, getting to a public place and getting to play some poker again, even if it wasn't my preferred game. It was the best I've felt mentally in a long, long time.

Also, I rather enjoyed saying, "F*** you, Gavin Newsom."

How to Lose $80 Without Really Trying

This is from a session I had in the early part of my Vegas trip last month. It took place at Planet Hollywood.  We were starting a new table and while the dealer was selling chips, I was looking at my phone and a guy came over to me and said, "Are you checking PokerAtlas?"  I looked up and he sort of looked vaguely familiar.  Then he gave me his name and mentioned where I knew him from.  It turned out he had been my contact (for PokerAtlas) for a now defunct poker room, and before that, I knew him as a dealer in another room where he had dealt to me a lot.  He had left the poker room before it closed down and I hadn't heard from him since.  We caught up and it seems he moved to another state, still works in a casino.  He ended up joining our game—he took seat 9, and I was in seat 1.  This is likely the only time I'll ever talk about him so let's make it simple and refer to him as "M."

This table was not filled with the usual aggros and maniacs you often see at PH.  In fact, the closest thing to an aggro was M.  But he wasn't really aggro by PH standards. However, I definitely took note of the first time he three-bet.  He three-bet the original raiser, the original raiser called and it was heads up to the flop (I was not involved).  On a rather routine flop, M made a c-bet and the other guy folded.  But M flipped over his cards.  Pretty sure this was the first and only time all evening he showed his hand when he didn't have to.  What did he show?  Deuce-four of diamonds.  And of course, he had caught nothing on the flop.

I wanted to say, "Hey, do you know that's the Grump?" but I didn't.  I said nothing.  My assumption at the time was that he just wanted to advertise that he was three-betting light so that he could get paid off on his value bets down the road.  Did I say "three-betting light"?  Of course we all know that deuce-four is the most powerful hand in poker, but could I expect M to know that?  Most people don't.  But afterwards, I wondered if he showed his deuce-four for my benefit.  Was it possible that M knew all about the deuce-four from my blog and wanted to show off for me?  Sure, it was possible.  I'm often surprised to find that many of the people I am in contact with professionally know about and read my blog (my PokerAtlas name, which is also "robvegaspoker", is on my auto-signature of all my business emails).  Just because he never mentioned it doesn't mean he's never seen my blog.

Furthermore, I realized that at the room where I first encountered M, one of his colleagues had a very popular poker blog himself (now-defunct) which had made multiple references to Poker Grump.  So it was very possible he was familiar with the legend that is deuce-four.

Anyway, I opened to $8 with Ace-Queen and had four callers.  The flop was Queen-Queen-5.  I bet $20 and M was the only caller.  The turn was a 10 and this time M donked out $30.  Hmm....I didn't know what to make of that so I just called.  The river was a Jack and he donked out $35.  Again, I just called.  He had King-Queen and I took the pot.

The very next hand I opened to $8 with King-Jack of clubs.  A guy raised it to $20 and it folded back to me.  I called and we were heads up.  The flop was King-high and had a single club on it.  I called $15.  He checked the turn, which was a Jack.  I bet $20 and he called.  The river was a blank, he checked.  I bet $35 and he folded two Queens face up.

Since those hands happened back-to-back I hadn't stacked up my chips up properly for the second hand.  I just had two really high stacks of chips.  It was later (after I had made notes and perhaps played a few other hands) that I finally got to stack my chips correctly (I thought) into stacks of 20. 

M opened to $6 on the button and I called from the small blind with Queen-Jack of hearts, it was heads up.  The flop was 9-8-x, two diamonds.  We both checked.  The turn was a 10, giving me the straight.  I bet $10 and he called.  The river was the King of diamonds, a card I didn't want to see inasmuch as it completed the flush.  After I checked, he bet $20 and I played it safe by just calling.  He had Ace-Jack (not diamonds) and I took the pot.

With pocket Queens in the big blind, I made it $16 after a bunch of limpers.  It was four-way.  The flop came King-10-x, two hearts.  My Queens were both black.  I checked but no one bet.  The turn was the five of clubs, this time I bet $25 and didn't get a call.  I was surprised no one had a King.

Now I had only been playing for two hours, but I had worked all day and from the moment I'd started playing I realized I was really tired.  I had been having trouble concentrating on the game.  I looked down at my chips, which by now I had sorted properly.  There were four full stacks, plus five additional redbirds on top of the four stacks.  I also had a bunch of dollar chips.  I thought a $230 or so profit—a double-up and then some— for the session sounded pretty good. 

So I grabbed a rack and started putting my chips into it.  When I put the first $100 stack in, I got a huge shock—it didn't fill up the slot.  It was way short.  So were the other three stacks.  When I filled up the slots, it turned out I had totally miscounted my stacks and that each one was only $80, not $100.  Four stacks that were each short $20—or at least twenty bucks shorter than I had thought.  So without losing a hand, I had somehow managed to "lose" $80!  Damn.

I briefly considered sticking around since I no longer had the double up I had been counting on!  How could I have made such a mistake?  One thing is for sure, if I was playing online, at a site such as 888poker, that could never have happened, the computer would have accurately reported my stack.

With less than the double up I thought I had, I briefly considered unracking my chips and playing a little longer.  But then I recalled how tired I was.  I decided a $155 profit for two hours play was good enough.  The "double-up" was only an arbitrary marker anyway, right?  I was so tired I figured I had an excellent chance of losing my profit by continuing. In fact, I guess I can blame my tiredness on the counting error, so that was more proof that it was time to call it a night.

I cashed out $355 and felt like I lost $80 on the last hand, even though I didn't play it—and I didn't lose that $80 to anyone!

The One-Outer

This is the first of two parts.  Part 2 will be published Sunday evening.

I’m sure all of my readers have been dying to know how I spent Christmas Day in Vegas.  So at long last, I’m gonna tell you.

Actually it was closer to Christmas night by the time I got started.  I slept late and got a late start for everything I did that day.  I had decided that I would poker at MGM and give that NFL promo another try.  You remember that one, right?  I back-doored my way to $500 the first time I was there for it on my second night in town (see here).

To briefly explain, there’s this game called “football” and…..hmm, maybe that’s a bit more detail than you need.  This took place during the waning days of the NFL season and it was a Sunday so MGM had their football promo.  They have these “Poker Parlay Cards” and they start giving them out two hours before the Sunday Night Football game starts (same for Monday and Thursday night games).  There are five poker hands on it, which are: two pair, three-of-a-kind, straight, flush and a full house.  Every time you make one of those hands, you get that hand stamped.  If you fill out the card with all five stamps before the football game ends, you win $300.  If you fill out the card after the game ends but before midnight, you win $200.  At midnight, they take all the cards that have at least one stamp on them and put them in a drum and pull out two “last chance” winners.  First one gets $500 and second one gets $300.  That’s how I lucked into a $500 win my second night in town.

In order to get the stamp for a hand, there must be $40 in the pot, both of your hole cards must play, and you actually have to win the pot.

I was running so late I didn’t get to the poker room until the football game started.  I hadn’t left my room until then.  I knew at one point I would have to take a dinner break.  I would have to see how I was doing in my quest to fill out the parlay card to figure out when it was best for me to take that dinner break.

I didn’t have to wait too long for a table, I was seated soon after the game started.  And I quite literally was sent to the worst table in the room.  I state that not based on the quality of the game, but based on the weather.  It is in the back corner of the room, closest to the utility/maintenance door which the janitors and the maids open about every 10 minutes to empty the trash or get supplies.  That area is outside the casino and thus in winter, every time they go out there, a huge blast of freezing cold air enters the back of the poker room and hits the back tables, particular the one I was assigned to.  During the summer, when the blast of air is obscenely hot, it’s not nearly as annoying.  Actually, it usually feels good, because the A/C in the casino is set at a comfy 43° year ‘round.  Also, this particular table is sitting directly under one of the A/C vents, so it would be uncomfortably cold even without the door to the outside being opened constantly.

Almost immediately after taking my seat, I wanted to request a table change.  Then I thought I would try to wait it out a bit.  I figured I might take a dinner break early and just cash out, and come back and hopefully get assigned to a new table.  And there didn’t seem to be any point to changing tables if I was just gonna cash out soon.

So I toughed it out, at least for awhile.  But I had to put my heavy jacket on while playing, which is totally ridiculous.  It’s actually a ski jacket and I can assure you I have never taken it skiing.  That kept my upper body almost warm enough but my legs were freezing.  I guess I need to shop for ski pants!

 I had only been at the table a few minutes when I was dealt Queen-Jack of diamonds.  I made it $10 after one limper.  There were only five callers.  The flop came Queen-Jack-X, two clubs.  I bet $35 and no one called.  And I almost forgot to show my hand so I could get a stamp for two pair.  Fortunately, just as I was about to shove my cards face down to the dealer, I remembered and flipped them over.  Stamp #1 in less than 10 minutes.  Cool.

Not long after a new dealer pushed in, one I was mostly unfamiliar with.  She was new.  I may have seen her a time or two this past summer, but not before then.  She comes from a Eurasian country.

Early in her down she dealt me the mighty deuce-four, aka the most powerful hand in poker.  It was even suited (diamonds).  And I was on the button.  I called a $10 raise from the most active player at the table and it was three-way.  The flop was Jack-10-9, two diamonds.  The preflop raiser bet $20, I called and we were heads up.  The turn was the 8 of diamonds, completing my baby flush.  Now I said this guy was the most active player at the table.  He played virtually every hand.   At this stage of the game, I don’t think I’d ever seen him fold preflop.  But he didn’t always raise so he probably had a real hand, at least to start.  The third diamond didn’t bother him, and he bet $50.  Of course, in a situation like that, I’m always worried about a bigger flush. I didn’t think he had the flush but obviously he could have.  I just called.

The river was a black 3 and this time he led out for $75.  Hmm….maybe he did have the bigger flush?  But from playing with him for just a brief time, I knew he was more than capable of making that bet with a lot of hands lesser than the flush—like a straight, for example.  I had pegged him as a recreational player who hadn’t really studied the game much.  Probably plays in a home game back home.  I couldn’t see myself folding.  I called and he turned over Ace-Queen, neither of which was a diamond.  He did have the straight of course.  I took down a really nice pot.  And of course I got the second stamp on my card for the flush.  I dunno why, but for some reason I said to the guy, “I couldn’t convince myself you had a bigger flush there.”  He said, “Yeah, I’m pretty easy to read.”  No, he wasn’t given off any tells.  I just didn’t smell a flush there.

Now I may have gotten some of the details on that hand a little wrong, because I hadn’t started writing notes on it when the next hand started and it was every bit as noteworthy, and then some.

I had pocket 9’s in the cut-off.  The guy from the last hand limped in and then the guy next to him, a fellow who appeared to be from India, made it $10.  I called and so did the limper.  The flop was Queen-9-2, rainbow I think.  But it was checked to me.  The Indian hadn’t been a particular active player up until now, which was a bit of a surprise.  My default stereotype for Indians is that they are pretty aggro.  Clearly not this guy.  So when he checked the flop, I figured he had something like Ace-King, or maybe an under pair to the Queen.  I had to hope the limper would give me some action.  I bet $20 but the limper folded.  However, the Indian called.  Hmm…

The turn was another deuce, filling me up.  Again the Indian checked. He sure didn’t strike me as the type of player who would take a stab at the pot on the river if I checked behind him.  I figured I had to try to squeeze something out of him if I could.  So I bet $25 or $30.  And I was happy to see him call that.

But not as happy as I was to see the river card, which was the case 9.  Sweet.  Even better, instead of checking, he reached for chips to bet with.  Wow.  But he only bet $25, a totally baffling bet.

What to do?  I’ve heard from one dealer pal that if you have the stone-cold nuts, you should always shove.  Sure, you won’t always get called.  But you’ll get called enough in the long run to make it a profitable move.  I’ve never subscribed to that theory, however.  Maybe I should?  I usually just try to figure out the most I can bet and still get a call.

I decided to make a small raise.  Not quite the min-raise, but a little more.  I made it $60.  And I had no idea what he would do.  I figured a fold, a call or a re-raise were all equally likely.  He went for my second choice, a call.

I showed my quads and he turned over—can you guess—pocket Queens!  Holy shit, I was stunned.  I had no idea, none at all, that he was so strong.  Or that I was behind the whole way until the river.  Or….that I had extremely improbably hit my freaking one-outer!

Yeah, I hit a damn one-outer.  Not sure I can remember ever doing that before.  Pretty sure it was a first.

I sorta apologized to him.  I think I said, “I’m not really sorry about it, but that’s a terrible beat.” He said, “That’s ok.”  He was surprisingly good-natured about it.

Then I thought about the hand, the way he played it and all.  We should have gotten it all in on the turn, for sure. I mean, if this was the old west, I would have put my horse, the deed to my ranch and my grandfather’s gold watch in the pot if I could have.  All the while having no clue I was drawing to a one-outer.  But then, on the river, how the hell does he not come over the top when I raise?  Seriously?  He’s got the third nuts but the other two better hands are both quads.  I honestly think I hit my one-outer against the only player on the planet that wouldn’t have shoved on the river (if not before).

I had to ask him…I had to.  “Why didn’t you shove?  Why didn’t you re-raise me?”  I wasn’t asking because I was upset I didn’t get more of his money for my monster.  I was just genuinely curious. 

He replied, “No, no no…I don’t do that.  I don’t go all-in.”

Huh?  I wanted to say to him, “Really? You’re playing the wrong game.”  But of course I didn’t say that.  I didn’t really respond.  I suppose I should have asked him if he would have called my shove or a bigger re-raise (I had him covered by quite a bit, I think he started with ~$200).  I have to think he would have called, but maybe not.  Maybe if I had made it $100 or enough to put him all-in he would have found the fold button?

The thing is, as I kept playing with him during the evening, I realized—and I may have even heard him say—he was new to the game.  I think he was mostly interested in having his one buy-in last as long as possible.  Maybe he wouldn’t have called off all of his chips there if I had forced him to.  I’ll never know.

Now, quads isn’t (aren’t?) on the poker parlay card (neither is a straight flush).  But if you get quads or a straight flush, you are entitled to get stamp for any hand on your card that you need, your choice.  Of course what makes the most sense is to get the highest hand remaining that you still need stamped.  I already had two pair and a flush.  It only made sense to take the stamp for a full house and get that out of the way.  But I have to tell you, the thought crossed my mind to use it for the straight instead.  I swear I make a lot fewer straights than flushes, though it’s not supposed to be that way.  I may even get fewer straights than boats.  I guess it has to do with my starting hand selection.  I really don’t play a lot of connected cards unless they are suited—or really big.  And whenever they’ve run similar promos, it always seems like the straight is the toughest for me to hit.  Nevertheless, I did the “sensible” thing and took the stamp for the full house.

I had been at the table for about a half an hour and had 3/5’s of a card filled out.  I was starting to get optimistic that I could complete the card and win the promo money.

And that’s where part 1 ends. Part 2 is now here and be sure to check it out to see if I hit the promo.

"Have You Ever Seen a Butt That Great on a Real Woman?"

During my May trip to Vegas, I played in three tournaments.  You already read about the biggest disaster (see here).  The other two were more-or-less the regular Binion’s Saturday deepstacks that I like to play. Since the “Binion’s Classic” series had started, both of these were part of that—the only difference was that during the classic, they added a 30-minute dinner break.  The jury is still out as to whether I’ll do a post on the first one I played.  This post discusses the second Saturday I played.

This was the weekend of the Millionaire Maker event at the WSOP, but sadly, I didn’t have a spare $1,500 lying around to enter that.  Apparently a lot of people didn’t, because the turnout for the Binion’s tourney was huge. A total of 228 bought in, the total prize pool was more than double the $10K guarantee.  Twenty-seven would get paid, the min cash was $275 (the buy-in was $140) and first place was over $6K. 

The turnout was so big that they ran out of both tables and dealers.  In fact, the wonderful Audrey was at our table for three consecutive downs (they just didn’t have enough dealers to do a push).  Readers who have memorized all my posts (and I know that’s most of you) will recall that Audrey discovered my blog because she was a reader of Poker Grump’s blog.

I had said hello to her before the tournament but we hadn’t had any particular conversation while she was dealing to us.  And then, a player in the small blind hit a big hand playing the mighty deuce-four. He had a straight that his opponent couldn’t put him on because he wasn’t expecting him to play deuce-four (obviously a fish).  As he swept in the pot, the loser said, “You played deuce-four!?”   The winner said, “I was the big blind!  Nobody raised!”

Of course, I already had made a mental note of deuce-four winning, and then Audrey looked straight at me and said, “Deuce-four!  The most powerful hand in poker!”  I laughed and said, “Yes, the Grump.”  No one else paid attention to our private conversation.

My first table was fairly close to the restrooms.  As the first break approached, with every table in the tournament area full, someone commented on how jammed the Men’s Room was going to be.  Audrey said, “Yes….it’s going to be standing room only in there.”

One of the total shocks of this tournament was seeing the lady I dubbed “The Bubble Bitch.”  Oh, I’ve seen her play since she earned that moniker (see here), but this time she was actually dealing the tournament. 

Yes indeed.  She was one of the rent-a-dealers that they use at Binion’s.  They use a dealers service for the Saturday tournament and of course for the Classic.  You can tell who is an employee and who is a rental by the different colored shirts they wear.  I heard Bubble Bitch’s name called out and was shocked to look over and see her dealing the tournament.  Recall that after she created a scene that one time, the T.D. had told us that she was actually a poker dealer, but not at Binion’s. No way.

Heh heh.  And here she was dealing right at this very tournament.  As it happened, she never came over to any table I was playing, and she left long before the tournament was over. And also before that very T.D. started his shift.  But later, I couldn’t wait to take a minute during the break and ask him about her.  He was very professional in indicating that it wasn’t his idea.  Then he mentioned that she’s very professional when dealing, but he would like it if she’d show more enthusiasm.  I suggested she might not have the best possible reaction if she was dealing a cash game and didn’t get tipped. He kind of chuckled like he wanted to tell me a story about that, but thought better of it.

Of course, this time of year, there is a very heavy demand for dealers due to the WSOP and all the other poker series going on around town.  I immediately thought of a line from one of my all-time favorite movies, Mister Roberts.  Roberts, played by the legendary Henry Fonda, finally tells off the Captain, played by the equally legendary James Cagney.  The film takes place during the waning days of World War II.  Mr. Roberts tells the Captain, “I realize that in wartime they have to scrape the bottom of the barrel, but where did they ever scrape you of off?”  For some reason that line has really stuck with me, even though it’s been a zillion years since I last saw it.  If you never seen the movie, I can’t recommend it enough, a really terrific film.  I tried to find a clip of that scene to embed, but couldn’t.

I couldn’t help thinking that they were scraping the bottom of the barrel using the Bubble Bitch to deal.  Audrey was still around and I also commented to her about it.  Recall that the first time I saw her after posting the Bubble Bitch post, she came over to me and told me that she had correctly guessed BB’s identity from my description. Anyway, she just looked at me with a “WTF” expression on her face, rolling her eyes in disbelief that BB was one of her co-workers, if only for a day.

Right near the tournament area is a store that sells really cheap hats, t-shirts and jackets.  And right by our first table there was a female mannequin modeling a tee-shirt.  It wasn’t a full mannequin, just a torso.  No head, no legs, no arms.  But it did have a butt, with tight shorts on.  And since it was made to order, it had a really nice butt. Seriously, the mannequin designer clearly intended to design the greatest ass of all time.

After Audrey was finally relieved, a young guy came to deal.  He was directly facing the mannequin.  All the players at the table were guys.  Suddenly he said, “Honestly now, have you ever seen anything close to a butt that great on a real woman?”  We all looked at it and laughed.  Then another guy said, “You know, when you think about it, that’s really the perfect woman.”

We all laughed, although I did think it was a pretty demeaning thing to say about the fairer sex.  And not at all accurate.  I can think of a few things women can do with their mouths that come in real handy.  Oh yes, plus, they need them to talk.

Anyway, the dealer then mentioned that he had been to the Mirage for the first time in years the night before.  He said that in the past, he’d usually see a few hookers.  But this time, he couldn’t believe how many there were….he said they were tons of them, all lined up.  Then he finally realized that they weren’t hookers, they were just girls lined up to get into the nightclub.

Duh.  Of course I had to explain it to him.  “The hookers dress a lot more conservatively than the club girls.  That’s how you can tell.  If you see a girl dressed really slutty, she’s going to the club, she’s not a hooker.”  Do I still have to explain this to people---especially people who live in Vegas?  I felt like giving him a link to my Slut Parade post right there at the table.

As for the poker, I played a long time—10 hours.  And I was fairly short-stacked the entire time.  I never really had a decent stack after the early levels.  But I kept hanging on.

The early levels were not good, and by the time we got to level 6 (400/800), my stack was down to $12,600 (from a $20K start).  I was getting the feeling this wasn’t going to be my day, and I really didn’t feel like playing hours and hours more without cashing.  Here’s when I decided to be a little more aggressive, and if I bust, I bust; I haven’t taken up the whole day and evening with nothing to show for it.   But if I can catch a double up or two, I can maybe make a long run after all.

So when it folded to me on the button with Ace-Jack off, I shoved.  But I had some additional information.  The small blind to my left hadn’t noticed I still had cards, and I could see he was grabbing chips to just complete his bet.  Knowing he wasn’t going to raise helped make it easier for me to play that aggressive, I figured he didn’t like his hand all that much if he was only going to call.  So I only had one hand to worry about, the big blind.

Wrong.  The small blind, faced with my all-in bet, announced a call.  He had about $9K left.  The big blind got out of the way.  The small blind flipped over Ace-Queen.  Ugh.  I was sure he was only planning to limp in if I had folded (or limped).  Weird, in his situation that’s an automatic shove, I would think.

Anyway, he was looking pretty good until a Jack showed up on the turn.  That actually gave him a gut shot, but he missed, he was gone, and I had a near double up.

I lost some chips raising with 8-8 and folding to a three bet.  Then I raised with King-Jack from the small blind (it was just the two of us) and didn’t get called.  Very next hand, in the big blind with King-4 off, it folded to the small blind, who had a pretty big stack, and surprisingly, just limped in.  I checked.

The flop was King-5-4, two clubs.  Nice.  The small blind bet $550 and I made it $2,400.  He re-raised (didn’t note the amount) and I just shoved.  He had 8-5 of clubs.  Lucky for me, he missed, and I had a nice double up.  This had been a good level for me.

On level 7 I picked up some chips when someone raised in front of me while I was holding pocket Aces.  He didn’t call my three-bet.

I started level 8 with $41K but lost a bunch of chips raising with K-Q and pocket 5’s and c-betting both.  Neither hit (and on the 5’s hand there were overcards like crazy).

So by level 9 (200/800/1600) I was down to $15,900.  In other words, desperate.  And honestly, I would have been ok with busting out before the next break, after level 12.  That’s when they had the dinner break.  If I was still alive, I would have to have a very rushed, not very pleasant dinner at the nearby deli—most likely a couple of mediocre hot dogs.  If I busted before then, I could move on, have a better dinner, and play some cash back at BSC.  My prospects for a big cash—or any cash—seemed extremely remote.

I shoved with Ace-7, first in.  No call.  I shoved with pocket Kings, first in.  No call.  I shoved with Ace-4 and was called by King-Jack (shorter stack than mine).  Ace on the flop, Jack on the turn, blank on the river.

(And……this is really a close call, but I’m going to do this as a two-parter.  It’s not really that long (by my standards) but I’m short on content as I head back to Vegas for my longest trip of the year, and spreading this tournament recap over two posts will help keep fresh material on the blog while I’m in Vegas getting more stories.  Part 2 can now be found here)

Sunday Night With MOJO

Sunday night I was planning to write a blog post about my adventures at The Bike the day before, a long session of poker trying to satellite into the WSOP Main Event.

But a wonderful distraction prevented me from doing that.  I had been following on Twitter the adventures of Dave Smith, aka Memphis MOJO.  Dave was playing in the Seniors Event at the WSOP.  I believe he plays in that every year.

I only wished I was still in Vegas so I could rail for him in person.  Hell, I could have been in the audience for the final table.

Anyway, as you must know, MOJO is a long time poker blogger.  I’m pretty sure he was one of the first bloggers to comment on this here blog, and he comments regularly.  Also, he was one of the first to put my blog on his blogroll. So we’ve been blogger pals since the early days of my blogging career. 

I’ve only met MOJO once, very briefly, back during the 2012 WSOP, when we were both playing in a Deepstack tourney there.  The story of that brief meeting is covered here.

Despite the fact that my only meeting with him was over in less time than it takes to read even my briefest blog post, with all the contact we’ve had on our blogs (and our other blogs) through the magic of the internet, I consider Dave a friend.

Anyway, they were webcasting the final table on the WSOP site.  And Dave made it to the final table!  I had to check in on him.

And once I did, it was riveting.  I couldn’t stop watching.  The odd thing is, despite the fact I work in the poker biz, I don’t watch a lot of poker on TV. In fact, I almost never watch it. I don’t actually find it that entertaining, and any time I spend watching it would reduce the amount of time I have to write. 

But this…this….I just couldn’t take my eyes off it.  The fact that I knew one of the players, and that I really, really, really had someone to root for, made all the difference.

Besides, clearly MOJO was representing all of us poker bloggers.  I kind of felt that, if he won, we all did.  All those bloggers in my blogroll were basically on the stage with Dave, playing along with him.  That’s what it felt like to me.

When I started watching, the table was 9-handed, a full final table.  Even before it was mentioned on the live feed (actually, it’s on a 20-minute delay since they reveal the hole cards), I noticed that all but one of players had a first name that started with a “D.”

The host of the feed was Dave Tuchman and for most of the time his “color commentator” was Matt Salsberg.  And there were quite entertaining.  They of course tried to provide background info on all the players at the table.  They apparently knew at least a little about most of the players.

But MOJO seemed to be the player they knew the least about, and that sort of made him the underdog.  The longshot.  The one fact they knew about Dave that they repeated constantly, much to his delight, I’m sure, was that Dave was the oldest player at the final table. 

But they asked viewers to tweet them any info they had on any of the players, and they would read the tweets on the air.  That didn’t really register with me at first, until I heard them read a tweet from none other than Lightning36 himself. I believe he tweeted a quote from MOJO’s blog about the event, before it started.  When I heard Lightning’s name, I thought, “Hey, I know who that is!”

Then it hit me that I could tweet to them too.  And I felt that was my duty to get a tweet on the air demonstrating how all of Dave’s fellow bloggers were out there railing for him, and supporting him.  I came up with something real fast, because I knew the feed was on a delay and Dave was one of the shorter stacks so…..I hoped to get it to them before he busted (if he did).

So I tweeted to them: “Dave represents all us poker bloggers. Also a Bridge wiz.”

OK, pretty lame and more than a bit self-serving I guess.  Keeping under 140 characters isn’t my strong suit.

Sure enough, Tuchman read the tweet on the air….or started to.  Right after saying “Robvegaspoker tweets ‘Dave represents….” The current hand got really interesting and he had to interrupt himself to discuss the hand (I believe someone busted out on that hand, but I’m not sure).  I was sure they would never get back to my tweet.  But no, Tuchman was real good about it, and after the hand was over, he read the full tweet.  So now I’ve been mentioned on a WSOP final table telecast!

They had actually mentioned Dave’s bridge prowess a bit earlier, but I think it was after I sent the tweet.

The fun thing about the webcast was the comments they made about Dave’s play.  First off, I have to tell you, that Dave is the tightest tournament player I’ve ever seen.  Really.  He makes me look like an absolute maniac.

I really have no idea how Dave survived so short-stacked for so long playing so few hands.  But the commentators mentioned it often, especially when he folded a hand they felt playable.

Twice within a brief span, Dave folded pocket 8’s, and once pocket 7’s.  I was surprised too, but Tuchman and Salsberg kept referring back to it.  And when it got down to three-handed, they kept pointing out that Dave was basically letting the other two players play at each other while Dave was almost a bystander, just playing the occasional hand.

They speculated that Dave was playing that way because of the payout schedule and his desire to protect his position on the pay scale and move up—and that money was more important to him than the bracelet.

I can’t speak for Dave, but I don’t think that was it at all.  I think that’s Dave’s normal style.  I think he was playing a style that he was comfortable with and he felt had an excellent chance to win the event with that style.

Of course, the two best moments for me were the two times I saw Dave dealt the mighty deuce-four, aka the Grump, aka The Most Powerful Hand in Poker.  Both times he raised with the hand (this was after folding pocket 8’s twice).  The first time, no one called his preflop raise.  The second time, he had a caller, but on a flop that totally missed him, he made a continuation and took it down.

After the first of those hands, I tweeted that MOJO had raised with deuce-4 and won the pot (and of course, copied Grump on the tweet).  MOJO tweeted back that he did that “on purpose, in honor of Grump.”  But seriously, how could you not raise with such a big hand?

I mentioned Dave’s tight play.  Frankly, I was very surprised at the tight play in general.  As the table kept losing players, I would have expected a lot more aggressive play, and an all-in on almost every hand.  But that was not the way it went.  There were “reasonable” raises made most of the time.  Three-handed, no one ever shoved for a long, long time, despite the short stacks.

The commentators definitely noticed, and several times noted that this was the difference between a Seniors Event and an open tournament.  They were saying that if there were younger players at the table, the raises and the all-ins would have been bigger and more frequent.  I was thinking the same thing myself!

Anyway, I believe Dave was the short-stack the entire time they were three handed.  And because of the delay, before I saw it on the webcast, I had read Dave’s tweet that he was out in third place.  Hey Dave….how about a spoiler warning? J

But I watched the event to see Dave’s busto hand.  And it was quite interesting.  Dave had Ace-10 offsuit and shoved from the big blind  Dan Heimiller, the chip leader had completed from the small blind after the button limped.  The limper folded but Heimiller took his sweet time making a decision.  I can’t recall the chip counts but Dave had more than enough to really cripple Heimiller if he called and lost.  And with only a pair of four’s, the obvious move there was to fold.

That’s what the commentators were saying.  No way did it make sense for Heimiller to call.  Way too risky, especially the way Dave was playing.  The best Heimiller could hope for was a flip, with Dave having two overcards.  Why take a risk like that?  If he lost, he’d almost have to just shove in one or two hands with any two cards.  And if Dave had a pocket pair, it would almost have to be better than his 4’s, and he’d be a 20-80 underdog. 

But Heimiller had been making a lot of questionable calls all night long—especially on the river—with weak holdings.  And he had played many, many hands in ways that defied explanation. The commentators couldn’t figure him out.

So Tuchman and Salsberg were sure that he would eventually call, even as they were saying that it would be bad play.

Heimiller called.  The board bricked for Dave.  No Ace.  No 10.  No straight, no flush. 

And Dave was out.

Had he won that flip, he would have been the chip leader and very likely would have taken home the bracelet.

For his three days of poker, Dave took home a tidy $279K.

It was an awesome performance by Memphis MOJO.  He really showed how to work a short stack, and also how to work a tight strategy even as the blinds and antes got huge.  Very impressive.

Congratulations, Dave.  Well deserved.  You did us fellow poker bloggers proud!

Since Dave was making news with his sensational performance, I stole this pic off his blog where he is “reporting” the news!

Good game, sir!  (EDITED TO ADD: MOJO HAS POSTED HIS THOUGHTS ON HIS RUN, YOU CAN FIND IT HERE.)