God's Plan for Aging

(Received this in an email the other day and I thought it was good enough to share here).

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In his wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.

 And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. 

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.  

God looked down and saw that it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember, it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.  

Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older:

#9  Death is the #1 killer in the world.

 #8  Life is sexually transmitted.

 #7  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6   Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2  In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1  Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow. 

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.

Apparently, I Was Wrong

My last post received some great reaction.  Virtually all of it telling me I was wrong!  I am tempted to tell you not to read it, and I'm tempted to actually take it down off the blog.

But I won't do that.  Oddly enough, my being so wrong may helped make it one of the most popular posts I've ever done!  Seriously.  It got more page views in a day than 95% of my posts do.  

Besides, I'm going to try to explain/apologize for it, so you need to read it if you haven't already done so.  You can find it here.  And be sure to read all the comments ripping me apart for it too.  That's the fun part.  

My friend Grange was the most prolific, giving an item-by-item destruction of my position.

What can I say?  I can't be right if everyone tells me I'm wrong, can I?  So yeah, the old guy who was too busy eating his food got what he deserved.  I apologize not only to my readers but to dealers everywhere who were tarred with my unfair title.  Apparently, there was not an irresponsible dealer to be found.

In my defense.  I don't think I made it clear enough how the dealer was, to my mind, denying info to the player.  I probably didn't use enough words.  I'm used to using more, that's for sure.

I won't defend my position again, I will just try to explain it a little better.  When the card flipped over, and the dealer grabbed it as soon as he could,  he made no effort to show anyone at the table the card, which I believe is standard practice.  He stuck that card on top of the deck as fast as he could. Other people could have missed it as well, I just know for sure that most of us saw it and a few commented on it.  

Now, he didn't have to say, "Hey (Seat 2), the Ace of spades is exposed," but he could have (should have?) said, loud enough for the old guy to hear it, "Exposed card," and if the guy didn't want to turn around to see, then for sure, tough on him.  But he seemed to want to keep it a secret.

My feeling at the time, based on body language, the look he gave me, even the way he held the deck before he put the card down as the burn card, was that he was making every effort possible to keep the guy from seeing exposed card.  Also, there was his comment, when someone asked about it, "Let it go."  I took that to mean in no uncertain circumstances was anyone to say anything about the exposed card.

It just felt to me that he was going out of his way to punish the guy.  I didn't make that clear, and I apologize for that, and even if I'm right (and it's just a feeling), I certainly understand the position you all have taken..."you snooze, you lose."  I did mention that myself in the original post.

Anyway, that's it.  I guess I'm saying that the previous post is void.  But I hope you enjoyed it and my humiliation anyway.

EDITED TO ADD....STOP THE PRESSES!!!  Apparently I was premature in throwing in the towel.  Almost immediately after posting this and tweeting out the link, I heard (via Twitter) from two damn good sources that I was right in the first place.

First, Sean McCormack, The Director of Poker Operations at the Aria, tweeted back to me,  "As an industry person that runs a room I will say-You were 100% correct in your OP. 'You snooze you lose' is invalid."

Then Chad Harberts, long time poker dealer, floor person, and blogger,  tweeted this to me:  ."you are not wrong in any way.  When I deal an exposed card I announce the card at the table and put it face up on deck."  I will point out though that the dealer did have the card face up on the deck, but based on positioning, I don't think the player had a reasonable chance to see it.

Thanks to both for chiming in.  I guess I just gave in too easily.  But I'm not going to say much more.....clearly this is open to interpretation and was also based on my open read on what the dealer was trying to do.

Final note:  The pic below is presented entirely for my own amusement.  It is such an inside joke that I am the only who gets it.  But I need to make myself laugh, so there you are.  

Stan Lee, Steven Spielberg & The Truck That Ran Over Me

Yesterday I returned to Player’s Casino in Ventura for my first poker session since returning from Vegas at the beginning of the month.  The way things went, it might be my last for awhile.

I had to wait a bit for a seat.  As the list grew, it was beginning to look like they’d have enough to open a new 2/3 game shortly.  While I was waiting, I noticed the fellow I dubbed “Director” in the post here was also waiting to get in a game.  For the purpose of this post, I’m going to change my mind from that post and let you know that the director this fellow looks like is actually Steven Spielberg.  Keep that in mind.

But there was another guy waiting for a game that caught my attention even more.  He was, ahem, an older gentleman.  And I did a double take when I first saw him, because he really, really, really looked a lot like Marvel Comics guru Stan Lee. You all know who that is, right?  If not, I’m sure that by now, at least 60% of you have figured out how to use Google. “Stan” was waiting for either a 2/3 game or a 3/5 game.  It never occurred to me to tell Stan that he looked like Stan Lee, that’s just something I almost never do. 

It didn’t take long for the new game to be called, and both “Stan” and “Spielberg” as he will now be referred to were there at the start.  Most of the players and all of the dealers knew Stan and called him by his real name.  I assumed the reason I didn’t recognize him was that he is usually playing the bigger game. I took seat 9 right next to the dealer.  Stan was in seat 5, across from me.  Spielberg took seat 7. The guy in seat 8 didn’t look familiar to me either, but it was obvious he was at least a semi-regular in the room.  He probably wasn’t familiar with Stan though, for the same reason as me.  Anyway, I’m not sure there had been a hand dealt when seat 8 said to Stan, “Have you ever been told how much you look like Stan Lee?”

I cracked up, and immediately said, “Yeah, I thought the exact same thing.  Totally.”  But Stan denied knowing who Stan Lee was.  Seat 8 gave him a brief primer, and said how glad he was that they were finally making movies out of the comic books.  I added, “Yeah, and most of them are good.  In the old days, the ones they made sucked.” 

And then seat 8 turned to the guy next to him, Spielberg, and said, “And this guy looks like Steven Spielberg!”  Spielberg just kind of groaned and nodded.  “Yeah, I get that all the time.  I just wish I had his money.”  I said, “Just 1/10^th of his money would be more than enough.”

I whispered to seat 8, “I’ve thought that since the first second I laid eyes on him.”  He responded, “I guess we’re both revealing our nerd side.”  Note:  I was reading comics long before it was cool to do so.  And now that it is cool, I no longer read them.  I was about to ask him if I looked like anyone famous (like Gabe Kaplan, or Costanza), but we got sidetracked.  He would have said something if he had noticed though, for sure.

The dynamic of the game was impacted almost immediately by a couple of incredible luck boxes at the table.  One was Stan, the other I’ll get to shortly.

Stan opened the first two pots with huge raises, and at least one shove on the flop.  But he started showing his hands when he wasn’t called, and he always hit something.  If he only had top pair, it was a poor result for him.  He’d hit two pair with two crappy cards time and time again.  If there was any way he could make a straight, he’d do it.  At least once he played two really crappy suited cards (not even close to be connected) and turned a flush.  Once he hit two pair with Jack-4 (he had limped in) and said, “Doesn’t everyone play Jack-4?”  We were all in agreement that he should play any two cards, they were all like Aces to him.

He would raise big preflop.  At first he wasn’t called very often, but then players had to start calling.  Frequently then, he’d shove on the flop, always an overshove.  Sometimes he would get called by a smaller stack; other times he wouldn’t, but he’d show a good hand.  He was kind of surprised himself, saying he couldn’t remember having a run like this.

The shoves were interesting.  I think most of the time, he was actually shoving so that players wouldn’t call and loss their chips.  Seriously.  Although there were other times when he was shoving to prevent a draw from hitting.  One of the oddest times I recalled was when there were a bunch of limpers (he did limp quite a bit after all, but very rarely didn’t enter a pot at all).  The flop came 9-8-7, rainbow.  It checked to him and he said “all-in.”  It was an $18 pot and he had by this time around $600 in front of him.  No one called and he said, “I had to shove, I had to prevent any draws, I had the bottom end,” and he showed 6-5.  So it was an interesting playing style to say the least.

After about 20 minutes, he was called to the 3/5 game.  To no one’s surprise, he turned it down, preferring to stay put, where he was catching cards like nobody’s business.

I’d only played a few hands, one was a pocket pair that missed, and I think I raised with Ace-King and whiffed. There were many callers and I folded to a donk bet.

So it was still early in the session when I was dealt two Aces in early position. I had around $260 when the hand started.  I opened to $15.  That’s actually more than my standard open here ($12) but bigger raises were being called.  I probably should have made it $20 or $25.  Only 4 players called me. The flop was 10-8-2, two spades (no spade in my hand).  I led out for $50.  It folded to the button in seat 6.  I was very relieved Stan had folded, I would have bet that he had at least two pair or a set or the flush draw.  Now set 6 was yet another look-alike.  It took me awhile to figure it out but I eventually realized he looked like Prudence’s ex, Tom, if Tom had a beard.  So let’s call him Bearded Tom.  Bearded Tom took a long time to decide, and then finally called.  His stack was pretty close to mine, probably just a few bucks more.

A red 9 hit the turn, and I really wasn’t concerned about filling in a gut-shot.  I led out with $100, with maybe $95 left behind.  Bearded Tom immediately announced all-in. 

Ugh.  Well, I knew I might be behind and possibly even drawing dead.  But based on the size of the pot and the amount I had left, I couldn’t see folding.  I had made that bet of half my stack prepared to get the rest in anyway.  With stack-to-pot ratio of just a bit over 3 on the flop, that’s what should happen, right?  I called.

The river was a meaningless deuce or something.  He showed pocket 9’s for a turned set.

Pocket-freaking-9’s?  I said nothing.  I rebrought, and just simmered.  As soon as I got my chips, I took a break and walked outside.  Ugh.

He called $50 on the flop and then hit is god-damned two outer.  Yeesh.

So I’ve been trying to figure out if I made any mistakes on the hand  Would welcome feedback.  The problem is that the pot was so big preflop that I almost had to bet enough to commit me if the turn wasn’t scary. At first, I thought he just made a bad play and got lucky.  Well the lucky part is true, but calling me on the flop maybe not so much.  I could have just been making a c-bet with an Ace-King type hand. Although with four players, including luckbox Stan in the hand, that seems unlikely.

I know, for this table, I should have raised more pre.  But even if I had opened $25, I’m sure that Stan would have called it with any hand that he’d call $15.  Bearded Tom almost certainly would have called with 9’s if Stan had called. So even if it was just the three of them, the pot would have been the same, and could have been more.

I think my flop bet is ok….2/3’s the pot?  In hindsight, a few bucks more may have gotten a fold, but I think that was a good size bet, no?  Maybe a pot-size bet would have discouraged his float there?

I really wasn’t worried about the gut-shot.  But should I have checked the turn just to avoid getting it all in?  I thought I wanted to get it all in.  And if he was on the flush draw, I wanted to charge him.

So any thoughts would be appreciated.

As a result of this hand, Bearded Tom became luckbox number two.  He also started catching cards, just like Stan. He rivered a straight flush against Stan, but Stan didn’t call his bet.  He flopped a boat.  I mean, for awhile there, they were just taking turns hitting flops.  The rest of us were basically spectators to the show.

What do you do in a situation where two people are getting hit by the deck like that?  I mean, if there are obviously better players than you at the table, you should ask for a table change. But if they’re just lucky, the luck should even out eventually, right?

I figured I’d wait for that to happen.  In less than 10-minutes after returning from my cooling off break, I found myself looking at the dreaded pocket Kings in the big blind. OK...An early position player made it $10, and then Stan bumped it to $45.  I made it $100, which was too little.  It made absolutely no difference as it turned out, but I should have made it more.  I guess I was just thinking about how lucky Stan had been, and how it was so likely he’d smash the flop if he didn’t already have pocket Aces.  The first guy thought for some time before folding, and then Stan called.  I had decided that I would shove over a raise from him and call his shove if he had shoved.

Do I have to tell you that the flop was Ace-high?  I don’t remember the other two cards, but neither of them was a King.  Before I even had a chance to act, Stan, totally acting out of turn, announced all-in.  Well that made it easy for me.  There was no way he didn’t have at least an Ace.  I checked and folded to his shove.  He showed his hand…Ace-King.  So I’m rather certain there was no four-bet I could have made that would have gotten him to fold, though I suppose he might have thought twice if I had shoved initially.  But that wouldn’t have been the right play.

I guess I got off lucky. My too-small four-bet ended up saving me some money.

I got Kings again not too long after.  Stan limped in from early position and it folded back to me.  I made it $25.  This time, everyone folded including Stan.

I might have won another small pot when I raised with Ace-King after a few limpers and no one called.

My stack had dwindled down to about $120, and I was about finish, time to leave. Actually, a bunch of players, including Stan, announced they were about to leave so the table was likely to break. I called a $6 straddle with pocket 7’s. It was like 6-7 of us seeing the flop, including Stan.  The flop was all hearts, something like 10-7-3.  Stan led out for $40.  It folded to me.  Well, if I lose the rest of my chips on a flopped set, so be it.  I shoved, sure that Stan would call and hoping he didn’t already have the flush.  It folded back to Stan, who had announced that this would be his last hand and had already racked his chips.  I was sure he’d call, it wouldn’t have been all that much more and he had had a great day.  But he said, “OK, I’ll let you have it.”  He showed a 10.  So I got some money there, just not that much.

Actually, it was a very friendly table, a lot of laughing (mostly in awe of Bearded Tom and especially Stan) and tons of politically incorrect jokes (so extreme I can’t relate them here). At one point, Stan asked a dealer if he had seen the Asian lady he was playing with the day before.  He had not.  He said, “She had tits that wouldn’t quit.”  Who wants tits that quit?  He claimed that he told her that he couldn’t play at her table, she was too distracting.  I think there was more to the story, but he got distracted by another flop he had just smashed and never finished.

And that was it.  I cashed out down over $400.  I think I would have been better off playing with the real Stan Lee and the real Steven Spielberg.  The tits wouldn’t quit, but I did.

"Heck....Rob Would Let Me Sleep On His Couch"

Well, I have one more tournament experience to talk about from my most recent Vegas trip, so here we go.

This took place a mere two days after the Aria WPT 500 tournament that I wrote about here.  It was the fourth of July, as it happens.  You would think that after all the bad things I’ve said about tournaments here, and after that last horrific bad beat that killed me in said Aria tournament, I wouldn’t be ready to get back on the horse so soon.  But as I said, tournaments make me crazy.  It was my last Saturday in town for the trip, and the end of another big Vegas summer tournament season.  I had to take one last shot.

The tournament of choice was Binion’s $160 affair, one of the last days of the Binion’s Classic.  It was now or never.  And once again, I vowed to really go for it, be aggressive early and try to get a big stack—and if I busted early, so be it.  But you know, I always say that to myself and then when I write up these tournament summaries, I wonder if I ever was really doing that—at least on a consistent basis.  If I go deep in a tournament, it always seems to be with a short stack anyway.

The starting stack is $20K and the blinds for the first level are 50/100.  First hand I got involved in was Ace-2 off from the big blind.  It had been min-raised to $200 so I called.  It was heads up.  The flop was King-Jack-2, I checked/called $250.  There was no betting on a blank turn.  Ace on the river so I bet $600 and took it down.

From the small blind I complete with Ace-9, six-ways.  King-10-9 flop, no betting action.  I bet $600 on the turn, an Ace, no call.

I open raised to $275 with King-Jack and no one called.  I tried raising with the same cards a few hands later and was called.  I had to fold to a donk bet on an Ace-high board. 

I raised to $325 with Ace-10 off and had two callers.  The flop was King-Jack-x, I made a c-bet of $700 and had one call.  I checked a blank turn and the other player bet $1,200, I folded and she showed a Jack.

Level 2 (100/200), $19,625.  I opened to $350 with Queen-Jack offsuit, four players called.  The flop was Jack-9-2.  A guy donked out $1,125 and I called, as did one other player.  This guy had already convinced me he was a bad player when I saw that he had called a preflop raise with Queen-5 off (although he ended up winning that pot).  The turn was a 10 and there was no betting.  The river was a 4 and he bet $2,200.  I tanked and then called.  Good call, he had a 9, that was it.

I called $1k, then a raise to $2,200 (cuz I was already in for the $1K) with pocket 3’s.  Didn’t hit and had to fold.

I limped in with Ace-10 offsuit and six of us saw a flop of King-Jack-x.  I called $700 but then there was a re-raise to $2,100.  The original bettor folded, as did I.

Level 3 (150/300), $22,725.  I raised to $1,100 with King-Queen offsuit on the button.  The flop was 9-8-3, two spades.  I had no spades.  It had been just heads up, and the guy donked out $!,800 and I folded.

Last hand of the level, I raised to $800 with pocket Queens.  There was a caller and then a shove for $5,500.  I called and the other player folded.  The short stack flipped over Ace-King off.  The flop was Jack-high.  The turn was a Queen.  The river was another Queen.  At least the guy could say that it took quads to bust him.

But note the hand….runner-runner quads.  This tournament took place the day after the story I told here, where I was playing cash and had runner-runner Queens for quads.  So, in less than a 24-hour period, I went runner-runner for quads twice.  And even more amazing, it was the same quads—Queens both times.  Very freakish.

Level 4 (200/400) $27K.  But I basically sat that level out and went to level 5 (300/600) with $25,500.  I lost a bunch of chips calling a raise with 8-7 of spades and then chasing a straight draw that never hit.  Then I raised to $1,600 with Ace-Jack off.  One caller.  I flopped a gut shot and c-bet $2,500.  My opponent made it $5K.  I decided to call to see one more card.  It wasn’t one that helped me and I folded to her shove.

That took me down to $13,200.  I raised to $1,600 with King-8 of hearts.  There was one caller.  There was an 8 on the flop (middle pair) and my $2,500 c-bet wasn’t called.

I limped in with Ace-7 of spades and it was 7-handed.  The flop was 2-2-7.and it folded to me, so I bet $3k, one caller.  Ace on the turn and my $5K bet wasn’t called.

Level 6 (400/800), $21K.  I get the dreaded pocket Kings  in the big blind.  There were some limpers then a guy made it $2,800.  I made it $6K.  Folded back to the raiser and he went into the tank.  Finally he folded pocket 9’s face up. 

Level 7 (500/1000) $24K.  With Ace-Jack offsuit I made it $2,700, one caller.  Ace-high flop, I bet $5K and he called.  The turn was a blank and I shoved, he folded.

Then came a key hand.  I had pocket Kings again, in late position.  There was a normal raise, then a guy in front of me made it $6,500.  He had just come from a broken table so I had no read on him.  He had me covered. I actually considered just calling, something I never ever do despite my headaches with KK. But no, I decided to shove so he wouldn’t call me with a mediocre Ace and then hit.  If he had pocket Aces I’m probably dead no matter what. It folded back to him and he tanked forever before finally calling.  He showed pocket Queens.  The window was a low card but the other two cards were more interesting.  One was a King, and one was a Queen.  So I had just called we would have both gotten it all in on the flop anyway.  Interestingly, I saw the King first but the lady next to me (not in the hand) said she saw the Queen first and kind of gasped.  The guy didn’t hit his one outer and I took in a really nice pot.

I offered him some insincere sympathy as I stacked my chips. I even said, “Yeah it was tough for you because you had just gotten to the table and had no read.”  So he said, “Well, at this point in the tournament, I’m never folding Queens.”  Really?  Then why did it take him so long to call?  It sure took him plenty of time to never fold Queens.

That brought me up to around $66K.  Sweet.

Note:  The guy seemed to take it take it pretty well at the time.  Here’s a question though.  Since we were face up before the flop, do you think it’s worse for him that we both hit our sets?  Or would it have been just as bad if we had both missed and my pair of Kings held?  Anyway, later in the tournament he showed maybe he hadn’t taken it as well as I thought.  He and I were separated at one point and then I moved to his table, immediately on his left.  I even said to him, “Oh, sorry, I guess you don’t want to see me.”  He just grunted. 

But a bit later, a player who had been at the same table with us when the KK vs. QQ happened shoved a short stack over his initial raise.  The guy thought for a bit and then called with pocket Jacks.  The short stack had Ace-King. Pretty standard, right?  Also standard?  The short stack caught an Ace and doubled up. 

Here’s the weird thing.  The guy who lost started complaining that the guy had called with Ace-King.  “You’re never gonna cash in this tournament, risking your tournament life with Ace-King. Really?”  He went on for a bit.  I didn’t say anything but when he busted out I said to the guy with Ace-King, “What a jerk.  You made the most normal move in tournament poker.  He must have seen that play 1,000 times. Every other player here would have done the same thing.”  The guy wasn’t fazed.  He just shrugged, “Yeah, whatever, let him bitch.” And he laughed.  Then I said, “I guess he never got over that hand Kings vs. Queens hand from the other table.”

Now who was playing at this new table they’d sent me to? The beautiful and sassy Denise, the Binion’s dealer. It’s been a while since she’s appeared in a blog post.  You can learn most of what you need to know about her in the post here.  Cliff note’s version: we have a quite a history, dating back to the time I first wrote about her and described her physical assets in less than gentlemanly terms.  Turns out that not only was she not offended, she was flattered.  She has subsequently mentioned my blog to other players right in front of me.  She is very funny, always entertaining, extremely extraverted and sometimes risqué.  In other words, she is a great source for “woman saids”—my favorite kind of blog post.

She changed her shift awhile back so that I have to last long into the tournament to see her deal, and for the same reason, I haven’t seen her play in the tournament since then.  But I had noticed on the first break that she was indeed present and playing on this day.  I didn’t get a chance to say hello to her, but I did notice what table she was at.  And so, when they broke our table, I was delighted to see that my new assignment was at the very table where she was playing.

But this was not the usual Denise.  She had her face buried in her phone the entire time I settled into my seat, and never looked up.  We were on opposite sides of the table.  She didn’t say a word for a long time.  Usually, she won’t go 5 seconds without speaking.  Plus, she was folding.  A lot.  Usually her game is much more aggressive than this.  And she pretty much never looked up from her phone except to look at her cards and fold. When she did play a hand, she’d look at the pot and the players involved and then when she folded (or won), her face would go back to the phone

So for at least 20 minutes, she didn’t even notice me.  I opted not to just shout hello over to her, I figured sooner or later she’d have to look over my way and I would say hi.  Finally, I did notice her look over at my end of the table and I just waived to her.  She said, “Oh, hi Rob!  How are you?”  I said I was fine and then I said, “Who are you?  I haven’t heard you say a word in 20 minutes since I’ve been here. Are you possessed?”  “No, I’m just being quiet today.”  OK…she wasn’t playing or acting in her usual fashion, that’s for sure.

Now, she was sitting next to an older gentleman—oh hell, let’s call him what he is: a geezer.  And at one point Denise took some time to finally fold her cards and then made a comment to the geezer about how she was playing so tight for a change.  I think she said something about playing with “scared money.”  I didn’t hear exactly what she said next, but it was something to the effect that, if she didn’t cash in the tournament, she’d be out on the street.

Then she added, “Oh I’m just kidding, I’d never be out on the street…….Heck, I know Rob would let me sleep on his couch.”

So I replied, “Yes, of course, I’d let you sleep on my couch……or, you could sleep in my bed.”

She didn’t react to that, and I feared that my comment didn’t come out the way I meant it, so I went on.

“You could sleep in my bed…and I’d sleep on the couch,”

“Oh, right, yeah….” She said.

And I continued, “After all, I am a gentleman!” 

She smiled and nodded.  “Yes you are.  You are a gentleman.”

At this point, the geezer spoke up. “Well I’m not a gentleman.  I’d sleep on top of you.”

We all kind of went “whoa” and Denise kind of groaned.  In her normal state, I would have expected her to have a good comeback to that tacky line, but she didn’t really respond, other than perhaps shake her head.  Someone else said, “That wouldn’t be very comfortable.”

As if we need any more proof, the geezer repeated, “I ain’t no gentleman, I’ll tell you that.”

A little while later, someone said something about their hand which was most likely a lie (yes, people do lie about their hands at the poker table).  She said, “Yeah….and I’m the Pope’s wife.”

I shouted over to her, “Yeah, how’s that working out?”

Now, I’m not 100% sure what she said in response.  But I think it’s entirely possible that she said, “Not good….he f***s terribly.”  Then she seemed embarrassed and tried to take it back, and I knew not to ask her to repeat it….but based on her reaction, I do kind of think that’s what she said.

And….that’s where I’ll leave it for now.  Haven’t finished writing the rest but I’m fairly sure I can finish this up next time. Y’all come back now, hear?--AND IN FACT, THE FOLLOW UP POST IS READY FOR YOUR REVIEW....SEE HERE.

Trying a New Venue--Player's Casino

Last weekend I played in a Southern California poker room I’d never played in before.

The weekend before I played at the Bike, as usual (see here).  As I reported, they no longer offer free food for the game I play (or any game, as far as I can tell).  Now, I don’t want to say that the only reason I tried a different venue was that they no longer feed me for free at the Bike, but….I suppose with all the other issues I have with the Bike, that may just have been the final bit of encouragement I needed to try something new.

For awhile now, I was aware of another poker room in a totally different area, a little bit farther away from where I live (as the crow flies) but in a totally different direction from where the Bike is.

The name is Player’s Casino.  It’s in Ventura.  It’s about 15-20 miles farther by car than the Bike.  But I felt it might be faster to get to in most situations than the Bike.  You see to get to the Bike, I have to drive through the heart of downtown Los Angeles.  That’s one of the reasons I avoid the Bike during the week and prefer going there on Saturday or Sunday afternoons.  Even in the middle of the day, traffic thru downtown L.A. figures to be nightmarish about 98.6% of the time.

Weekends, during the day, are better, but never really great.  I almost always encounter some kind of traffic jam going thru downtown.  According to Google maps, it should take me 45 minutes to get there with no traffic—assuming I keep pretty close to the speed limit.  Typically, it takes me close to an hour.  On particularly bad days, it takes more than an hour.

But heading out to Ventura, I figured that the traffic would normally be fairly light (on a weekend afternoon), and more than make up for the extra distance.  I figured I could make to Player’s Casino in 55-60 minutes most of the time.  So basically, the same commute time as the Bike even if I’d be driving a few extra miles. 

Just that conjecturing would have made me try the place in Ventura a long time ago.  But I knew that Player’s Casino was a much, much smaller venue than the Bike, and I was concerned that they might not have enough action.  I’d hate to drive all that way out there and find out they only have one (if that) short-handed 1/2 NL game (or whatever game they spread that I would play).  Once I went out there, I’d be stuck.  There’s no other poker room anywhere nearby.  The day would be shot.  In fact, it is the only poker room in all of Ventura County.  Doubling back to the Bike at that point would be out of the question (and I’d be out of gas). 

Unfortunately, the room isn’t on the Bravo app, and they don’t use the even better Table Captain software marketed by my employer, PokerAtlas (see here).  But I did a little more research and discovered they show their actual waitlist live on their website.  I think most poker rooms would be doing that now if it hadn’t been for the Bravo app.  Anyway, I started checking it out and they always seem to have a decent number of games going.  The main game seemed to be 1/2 NL but they also spread 2/3 NL, which is what I play at the Bike.  Checking online, they always seemed to have several 1/2 games going and a couple of 2/3 games.

And of course I checked out PokerAtlas and learned that the buy-in for the 1/2 game is $50-$100 and the buy-in for the 2/3 game is $100-$300 (same as at the Bike).  The 1/2 game was different though.  At the Bike, and at Commerce, the max buy-ins for 1/2 are like $40 or $60.  They are a joke.  I tried it once and hated it.  They play smaller than a 2/4 limit game—and then every now and then somebody shoves.  It’s the worst poker playing experience I’ve ever had.  I would never play that again.  $100 buy-in for a 1/2 game isn’t ideal, it’s half what it should be, but it’s better than $40!  At least you can play a little bit of poker before you get to all fold-or-shove mode.

It was my understanding that the Bike was the only L.A.-area room that had a game as small as 2/3 where you could buy in for 100 big blinds, which always made me reluctant to play somewhere else. So if that 2/3 game was running at Player’s Casino, I’d be able to start with a full stack.  And if I had to play 1/2, I’d still be able to start with a bigger stack than any other 1/2 game I could find in L.A.

So what the heck?  I decided to give it a shot.  If nothing else, I’d get a blog post out of it, describing a different venue.  So I headed out to Ventura on Saturday. Now, my first assumption proved wrong when I ran into some heavy traffic in route.  I never encountered any accidents but traffic became slow-and-go for about a 10 mile stretch.  Might have been weather related.  It was gloomy, windy and it even started drizzling as I was driving. The drizzling shouldn’t have affected traffic, but as I was driving I could tell from the wet roads that I was entering an area where it had gotten some significant rain. Whatever, even with that slowdown, it didn’t really take me more than an hour to get there.  So hopefully the traffic was just a fluke and I can make it there next time in less time than it usually takes to get to the Bike.

I had checked their site before leaving to see that they were busy.  They had a bunch of 1/2 games going and I think one 2/3 gaming, and both games had waitlists.  They were spreading other games as well.  So I was confident I’d be able to play.  I was a bit disappointed with the parking lot, it was pretty full, and I had difficulty finding a place to park, not something I’m used to—for a casino, that is.  In L.A., having trouble parking at most shopping centers or businesses is a common as finding a would-be actress with fake boobs.  But park I did and I proceeded to head around to the entrance.

It is a rather unusually looking poker room, at least to me.  It appears that the room took over the location of a defunct car dealership—it’s surrounded by car dealers and the address is on “Auto Center Drive.”  The front “wall” is glass and you can look out and see outside—not something you can do from a Vegas poker room (or an L.A. one, for that matter) unless it’s near an open door.  The room you enter is all poker tables, about 16, and although it’s pretty crowded, there is room to walk around.  It really is a vibe I’ve never experienced before in a poker room, I dunno if I can adequately convey this.  But it’s sort of like something you’d see in a old movie, just a relatively small room filled with absolutely nothing but poker tables. 

What I’m getting at is, the front room is just really small to be a big poker room, if that makes sense.  It’s small to be all poker.  The Bike and Commerce have areas that are all poker, but they are huge, really big, with poker tables galore.  In Vegas, there are small poker rooms to be sure, but when you’re in one, it’s a totally different feeling.  I played at the Linq when they had a five-table room.  But the feeling is totally different because even if you were in that small poker room, you were also in this huge casino, you couldn’t escape that.  And there’d be the noise from the rest of the casino and all the people from the rest of the casino all around you.  Here, it’s nothing but poker and it’s just different.

Behind the main room is a smaller room that has a bar and a few table games.  I didn’t even notice what they were—blackjack I assume and a few others maybe.  Since it’s not an Indian casino, there are no slot machines.  Beyond that is a restaurant.  You can eat there, or you can order food to be delivered to the table. 

And the place was packed!  This was about 1:30PM on Saturday. There were at least five or six 1/2 games going and two 2/3 games going.  They also had 3/5 and 5/10, at least one each.  There was a 1/3 PLO game and to my total surprise, a 3/6 Big O game.  All the games had lists, some of them very long. The lists for both the 1/2 and 2/3 were both so long I couldn’t see the bottom of them.  So I certainly didn’t have to worry about there not being enough action. No, I had to worry about how long it would take to get into a game.

My original thought was that I would try the 1/2 game first.  I figured it was a brand new venue for me, get a feel for the action and the players and all the little idiosyncrasies of the room at the lowest possible risk.  I anticipated moving up to the 2/3 after I got comfortable with everything.  But the long lists gave me pause.  I decided to get on the lists for both games and if I had to start with the bigger game, so be it. 

I found a seat at an empty poker table and waited.  There were only two tables not in use, and I think within an hour of my arrival they were using them all.  My name moved up pretty fast on that 1/2 list with all the tables of it they were spreading.  But then they called a new game of 2/3, and I was the first person on that list not called to it.  So a few minutes later I got called to a different 2/3 table and I bought some chips ($300) and took my seat. 

Ah, the chips, the chips.  A couple of things.  I had noticed that the 1/2 game used $1 chips, not $5 chips.  I guess that’s not surprising since that’s what they do at Bike and Commerce (Bike actually uses $1 chips even in its 1/3 game!).  But I thought that maybe they’d use the $5 chips there since the buy-in is bigger.  Nope.  Now, for the 2/3 game they used $5 chips but boy, I think someone made a blunder with those $5 chips. The $1 chips are not white, they are pale/medium blue (not unlike the $1 chips they use at the MGM (or the Bike).  But the $5 chips are not red, like in any Vegas poker room, nor are they the ugly puke yellow they use at the Bike.  They are green. Yes, green.  Not quite the shade of green you see on the Vegas $25 chips, more of a lime-green.  The problem is that they look incredibly similar to the $1 chips.  Honestly, you really have to look closely to tell them apart.  And when you put them both on the blue-green felt, they really, really look alike.

I couldn’t believe it.  When someone from across the table bet, it was nearly impossible for me to tell the difference.  Very bad design.  I realize that I had to make sure I asked whenever somebody made a bet exactly what it was, with no exceptions.  And when I bet myself, I was always extra careful to make sure I had the correct chips.

I tried to take a picture of the two chips together to give you an idea, but I couldn’t really capture it without standing up and hovering over them, something I didn’t want anyone to see me do.  I grabbed pics of the web of them, but I don’t think the separate pics I found really illustrate how similar they look.

That was really the only issue I had with the room.  It was at least as comfortable as the Bike, similar chairs, tables were fine (9-handed).  They had auto-shufflers, tho the one at my game was broken.  Chairs about the same as Bike.  No cup-holders, just plenty of portable carts for both food and beverages. No “hot” cocktail waitresses.  The food servers also brought drinks, alcoholic or otherwise.

Ah yes, beverages.  I’m sure my readers are all eagerly waiting for my report on how difficult it was to get a drink, and if they took it away before I was done with it.  Well, I did indeed order a diet Pepsi.  When the server brought it in one of those large paper Pepsi cups, she told me it was $1.50. She added that it was free refills all day.  OK, but now someone really had better not take my cup away before I was done with it!  I assume I could have gotten a glass of water for free, and I didn’t even notice if they were offering bottled water.  Fortunately my Pepsi cup remained untouched by the staff the entire day, and I even got my free refill once (note, it was the large size cup, so I got a lot more soda than I usual get, not really a bad deal).  

I was curious about the rake and the jackpot drop, was it similar to the Bike?  Actually, no, not at all.  There was no slot for a jackpot drop!  I vaguely remembered hearing or reading that they have a house funded bad beat jackpot, and don’t take a jackpot drop. 

As for the rake, that was weird.  I noticed that they always took exactly $5—when they took a rake.  There were a lot of pots, especially at the beginning, when they didn’t take anything.  Those were small pots of course.  I really couldn’t figure out what the deciding factor was, but finally, when I won a $21 pot, I saw the dealer count it before shoving it to me (and she took a $5 chip).  So I asked.  The break point is $18.  If the pot is less than $18, no rake.  At $19, they take $5, and it’s always $5, never more, never less.

Interesting.  If you’re used to the rake in Vegas, that sounds terrible, right?  My $21 pot was raked $5, in Vegas that would have been $3.  Worse, if it had been $19, Vegas would have taken out $2 and here it would still be $5.

But compared to the Bike, and the other L.A. rooms, it’s a bargain.  First of all, no jackpot drop.  Second, the Bike takes the rake right off the top.  Say there are three limpers who see a flop.  I bet $5 on the flop and no one calls.  I get my $3 back.  Six bucks is dropped ($5 for the rake, one for the jackpot).  So this is a lot better than the other L.A. rooms. Before $19 it’s better than the Bike, after, it’s the same (except for two things—no jackpot drop and no extra dollar that the Bike now takes when the hand goes to the river).

I was also curious to see if they allowed chopping of the blinds and if so, how they do it.  Recall that at the Bike, in the 2/3 game, if the blinds chop they still take $1 from the small blind for the rake.  So there’s no pure chop.  But here’s the funny thing.  In the the 3+ hours I played, it never came up. That’s right, there was never a situation where it folded to the small blind and there was a possibility of a chop.

I guess that should tell you something about the game itself, but not really.  I never could get a real feel for the game.  There were times when it came close to a Bike-style game, lots of loose action.  Other times, it played very tight.  There were quite a few hands that weren’t raked because they never got to $19.  I didn’t see any players who I thought were especially good—or especially tricky.  A few players seemed less than mediocre, but I couldn’t smell any outright fish.

And…..I’m going to stop here for now.  My usual succinctness has deserted me and I find myself with too much to say about this day.  So come back in a couple of days for the rest of the report, which will include the results of my poker session there. (EDITED TO ADD, THE WAIT IS OVER, SEE THE FOLLOW-UP POST HERE!)