Lookin' To Get Out

I hope I remember how to do this!

First off, let me say that if you’re glad to see a new post from me, you have Allen Kessler and Ann-Margret to thank (now there’s a pair I never thought I’d put together in the same sentence!).

I could explain that right now, but if you remember my blog from the glory days you know I almost never get to the point right away.  I take my time.  And since this is my first blog post in over half a year, I will likely get even more sidetracked than usual, if that’s possible.  Sorry.  You have the option now of not reading this at all, or scanning it until you come to the part where I actually get to the main point of this post.

You see, this post is actually a movie review.  The movie is the 1982 “classic,” Lookin’ to Get Out.

Here’s the first fork in the road I’m taking.  It is actually quite appropriate that I return to this blog after being missing in action for over six months with a movie review because watching movies is now my main leisure time activity, replacing poker thanks to the various lockdowns that started back in March, 2020.  Suddenly, I couldn’t go out and play poker every week (and for awhile, I couldn’t go out and do anything—for that matter, I couldn’t go out at all).  Remember that?  If you lived in California you do.  And since I couldn’t play poker, I had nothing to blog about.  So I got completely out of the rhythm of writing blog posts every night.  What took up my time, you ask?

An old hobby I never really abandoned but suddenly had a lot more time for—watching old movies.  I mean old.  Mostly from the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.  Oh sure there were movies from the 60’s forward that I watched and enjoyed, and even movies that were practically new.  But old films got most of my attention.  Fortunately I had access to Turner Classic Movies, which may have saved my life.  And when I switched to YouTubeTV,  I suddenly had a virtual DVR that was able to hold an unlimited number of movies (TV shows too).  I have nearly 2,500 movies on that DVR at this moment, most of them from TCM.  Plus there’s Netflix, Amazon Prime and Disney +.  I’m not likely to run out of movies to watch anytime in my next three lifetimes. Of course, not all of those movies on the DVR will ever be watched and a lot of them I’ve already watched, but there’s no way to delete them, you just have to let them “expire” automatically after nine months.

If you’re interested, my favorite genres are film noirs, pre-code films and screwball comedies.  But I’ve watched films from virtually every conceivable genre over the past three years.  I’ve even watched Bette Davis melodramas.

As a kid I always loved old films, and while attending UCLA in the ‘70’s I took two film courses that introduced me to some great movies I hadn’t seen or even heard of before.  I wish I still had the lists I made of the films I saw then, but whenever I come across one of them now, I usually remember if I saw them in a class. Great films I do remember from those classes include High Noon (my all-time favorite western), Ninotchka, Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, Holiday, and You Can’t Take it With You.  And so many more.

I was on Twitter a lot and suddenly no one was tweeting about poker (because no one was playing it), which was the main reason I joined it in the first place.  But I found Twitter accounts that talked about movies, and some specialized in the old movies I was most interested in. I get recommendations from them all the time. You may see me interact with some of these accounts from time to time, commenting on the movies they recommend (especially when they recommend good ones).

So it isn’t unusual for me to watch a movie based on a Twitter recommendation, but I never expected to get a movie recommendation from Allen Kessler (come on, you knew I’d get back to him eventually).  Does anyone reading this not know who Allen Kessler is?  Since I can’t hear you answering, I’ll tell you that Allen, nicknamed “Chainsaw,” is a professional poker player and gambler. He is known for being extremely picky about tournament structures and rake, for never paying for a meal (he gets comped a whole lot) and for his generosity in sharing his comps with his friends.  He was probably one of my first follows on Twitter and he follows me as well.  We’ve interacted on Twitter any number of times.

But I never met him in person until this past October.  I was playing in a tournament at Orleans and on the break I recognized him sitting at a tournament table that I walked by on the way to the restroom.  He was playing a different tournament than I was (no doubt a “mixed game” tourney which he prefers to NLH).  I couldn’t help recognizing him from all the pics of him I’ve seen on Twitter and elsewhere.  I’m not sure I even intended to say this out loud, but as I was about to pass him, the word “Chainsaw” audibly escaped my lips.  He looked up and I said hi and told him I was “robvegaspoker” and of course he knew me from Twitter.  He was in the middle of the hand and I didn’t want to be late back from break so that was the extent of our interaction.

That incident has nothing to do with why he’s responsible for this blog post buy you know how I am.  Just the other day, on Twitter, Allen posted a link to a movie that was available free on YouTube (it’s amazing how many good movies are available on YouTube for free—high quality prints in many cases, too). That movie was Lookin’ to Get Out (see, I got back there, eventually).  Allen said about the film, “This is my favorite gambling movie of all time.  Enjoy!”

Well, now, if a famous (and infamous?) and prolific gambler like Allen Kessler claims a movie is his all time favorite gambling movie, well, I just have to take note.  I gotta figure Kessler knows what he’s talking about, or at least there’s a good chance he does.  Since he hasn’t discussed movies much on Twitter (to my recollection anyway), I didn’t know how well his tastes in film align with mine, but I just had to give him some respect based on the subject being gambling movies and he being a pro at that very occupation.

Then I did what I always do these days when someone mentions I movie I might want to watch.  I checked the IMDB rating.  It was 5.1.  I won’t go into the intricacies of the IMDB rating system, (at last a tangent I won’t go on!) but when I’m looking over the movie listings I check IMDB and generally use “7” as the minimum for a movie I’ll watch (this is a consensus rating “voted” on by the users of IMDB).  I’ll definitely consider lower rated movies depending on the cast, the director, the subject matter and personal recommendations I get (from Twitter or otherwise).  For sure, movies that rate a 6.4, for example, have been known to surprise me and have been found vastly underrated by no less an expert than yours truly.  But man, that 5.1 is really, really, really low!

I had to reconsider.  What do I know about Allen Kessler?  I know he gambles for a living.  I knew he loves Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.  But do I know if he likes Citizen Kane?  Do I know if likes Casablanca?  Does he agree with me that Vertigo is the best ever Hitchcock movie?  Does he even like Hitchcock?  If he doesn’t, he can be dismissed as not having anything meaningful to say about film.  Well, it seemed like a bad idea to present him with a movie quiz just to follow one of his movie recommendations.  It would probably take longer than just watching the damn movie and deciding for myself whether or not I liked it.

I looked at the cast.  Jon Voight was the star.  Ok, a good actor for sure.  Good actors have been known to make some terrible movies though. Burt Young.  Wasn’t he in the Rocky movies?  Those were good, that was a plus. 

And then….then, I saw the name Ann-Margret.

Ann-Margret!

Does it surprise anyone who’s familiar with my blog that I really like Ann-Margret?  I think not.

Let me just say that as an owner of a y-chromosome who came of age in the ‘60’s, I believe it is in my DNA to love Ann-Margret.  For my money, she is the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen. 

So if you have Ann-Margret in your movie you have my attention.  And that tipped the scales in favor of giving this 5.1 film a try.

No doubt some of you are recalling that Ms. Margret was in another gambling movie earlier in her career.  In fact, she was in one of the all-time great poker movies, The Cincinnati Kid (1965), which has a 7.2 rating on IMDB (should be much higher).  She doesn’t have a big role, but it is important and she looks incredibly good (not a difficult feat for her in those days).  I’m sure at least 99% of you have seen it, right?  If not, drop everything and watch it ASAP.  Just a terrific poker movie that stars the great Steve McQueen and the legendary Edward G. Robinson.  I’ve seen a boatload of Robinson films these past three years and even if the movie is less than stellar you can count on him to give a riveting performance (same with James Cagney and of course, Humphrey Bogart).

But I digress (that’s so unlike me). The movie in question is Lookin’ to Get Out. And to be honest, it is not a great movie.  In fact, it might not even be a good movie.  It is a Jon Voight vanity project. In addition to starring, he co-wrote the script, and his production company produced it. His (then) 7-year old daughter has one scene in it (her movie debut).  You know her now as Angelina Jolie (speaking of sexy women—but definitely not in this movie).  His soon-to-be ex-wife (and Angelina’s mother) also has a brief scene in the film.

It’s a comedy I guess.  I suppose there’s a bit of seriousness about gambling addiction and also about male friendship.  It’s a buddy-movie (Voight and Young).  It has a familiar plot: Gamblers Voight and Young lose a lot of money to bad people you really shouldn’t be losing money to if you value your knee-caps and other body parts, or your life for that matter.  To try to raise the money to pay the debt, the only thing they can think of is to gamble more, only this time, win.  Of course!  Because that’s what compulsive gamblers do.

Ann-Margret plays a woman from Voight’s past.  If you have ever seen a movie before, you know when they meet again they both start having those old feelings for each other. Surprise!  This causes complications on top of the gambling debt

A lot of totally outrageous things happen, many are quite unrealistic. There are more than the movie’s share of “Oh, come on” moments (as in, no one would ever do that).  When the movie turns to outright comedy, it tends to go overboard.  There’s a long chase scene that goes on way too long.  But it’s very funny for most of it.  Similarly, there is an outrageous fight scene inside a casino that they didn’t know when to end (hint: sooner than they did).  But did I laugh and enjoy it?  You bet (so to speak).

There’s also a pretty awesome extended blackjack scene.  That’s the game the boys play to try to get their gambling loses back.  That is really a great scene, thoroughly enjoyed that.

This was filmed in 1980 and Ann-Margret looked like, well, Ann-Margret.  She was gorgeous and sexy.  She had big hair.  And she is and was a very underrated actress.

One thing I have to mention is the setting of the film.  After starting out in New York, the boys hit Vegas to strike it rich.  Most of the movie takes place in Vegas, and it was filmed at the MGM Grand.  However, it wasn’t the MGM you know today.  This was filmed when the MGM was located where Bally’s is today.  No wait, I mean, where the Horseshoe is.  Yeah, that property started out at the MGM, then it was Bally’s for like forever and is now the Horseshoe.  The MGM sold it and then bought the property they now own on Tropicana.  Got that straight?  From the exterior, you actually see the Barbary Coast (ah, the good old days) more than the MGM.

More important, this is my Vegas. This is the Vegas I first knew and fell in love with.  It was a real treat to see this Vegas right there in front of me. As I said, it was shot in 1980.  That is the first year I ever went to Vegas.  I know this Vegas!  One of the things I loved about the movie is that it took me back there.  Also, 1980 was the year of the famous MGM fire.  Coincidentally, the last day of filming was when the fire hit. Amazing.

So despite this not be a great film, I loved it.  It was just a lot of fun, faults and all.  This is definitely not The Cincinnati Kid, or Rounders (except for a very early scene, there’s no poker in it).  It’s more about friendship and discipline (or lack thereof) than gambling.  But there is a great payoff to the gambling story I won’t spoil.

Because of the flaws, I am hesitant to unconditionally recommend it, although I suspect readers of this blog will have a head start in liking it.

But I can say I had a lot of fun watching it.  A lot.

Thanks, Allen.

(Note:  I supposed I should have put a pic of Allen with this post instead of Ann-Margret.  But then I would have felt obligated to ask Allen for a picture or at least for his permission to use one, so I decided that even Allen would prefer looking at a picture of Ann-Margret rather than one of himself.)

Movie Review: A Big Hand for the Little Lady

Like most of you, I imagine, I'm watching a lot of movies lately on the ol' boob tube (I guess that's an outdated expression, but for some reason I rather like it).  Sure I have Netflix and Amazon Prime, but honestly, I really tend to like older films so I watch more things on Turner Classic Movies than those two combined.

So every morning I check the TCM listings to see what I can save to DVR for viewing at my convenience.  Recently I noticed a movie titled, A Big Hand for the Little Lady, from 1966. It kinda/sorta sounded familiar, but not really.  I was somehow thinking maybe it was a poker movie I wasn't familiar with,  I mean the title was sort of a hint, but you know, I did consider the possibility that the "big hand" was a reference to applause.  For all I knew, the little lady of the title had done something worthy of a standing ovation, perhaps she was an actress or a singer?  When I saw the cast, Henry Fonda, Joanne Woodward, Jason Robards, Kevin McCarthy and Burgess Meredith, among others, I knew I had to get more info on it.

Turns out it was a western set around the biggest poker game in the West, an annual event.  With that subject and that cast, it was a no brainer to record it.  Hungry for some poker action after all this time cooped up, I watched it as soon as I could.

Boy was I glad I did.  What a fun movie.  It is really a comedy western and it is just a hoot.  It's virtually impossible not to smile while watching this film. Not only is it funny, but the story really grabs your interest, and the acting is excellent, as you would expect from that great cast. 

First we see the degens gather for the annual game.  And if you think you're a degen or know any, you ain't seen anything like these characters. They all drop whatever they are doing when the driver comes around to pick them up for the game, which takes place in the back room of a hotel/salon in Laredo, TX, probably in the late 1800's.  Wait until you hear what Robards and McCarthy each were doing when they just took off for the game without a second thought—especially McCarthy! Yikes.

If you know movies you probably figured out that Henry Fonda wasn't one of the five regulars in this game.  No, he, his wife (Woodward) and young son just happened to be driving through Laredo when their wagon broke down on the way to San Antonio, where they intended to buy some land and do so farming.  They take a room in the hotel just as the game gets underway.  Fonda gets a whiff of the game and is surprisingly interested.  Against his wife's wishes, he begs to watch the game for a few minutes while she goes to get the wagon repaired.

We eventually learn that Fonda has a gambling problem. You might say he's addicted to poker.  But he had promised his wife that he would never play cards again.  Of course, if he had kept that promise, there wouldn't be a movie so you know what happens next.

Naturally, he ends up using the money they were going to use to buy the farm to buy into the game, just like you knew he would. And it is pretty obvious that Fonda is in way over his head with these sharks. Thus, we get to see this movie's take on a wild west poker game.

Whenever I see poker in a movie, I always notice how different it is from real life, at least as we play poker in 2020 in a brick and mortar casino (or did, before the world shut down).  One thing I noticed from the first poker book I ever read was that string raises, which are no-no's in our games, were no problem in the movies.  You always hear the players say things like, "I see your $50 and add another $100," which would just be a call in a live poker room.  I think it's why you see so many newbies attempt to make string raises in Vegas.

Then Fonda is told the game (which is clearly no-limit) is "table stakes."  But it wasn't table stakes as I know it. Correct me if I'm wrong but table stakes today means two things.  First, you can't add money to the table after the hand has started (or take money off the table at any time), and second, if you don't have enough money to call, you can call with what you have and if there are other players left, there'd be a side pot.

However, as soon as they tell Fonda it's table stakes, they further explain to him that they use "Western Rules."  That means if you don't have enough money to call a bet, you tap out.  You are out of the hand (and the game) and you are out all the money you've bet.  In other words, you can literally be "bet out of a hand" by someone who has more money than you do and there's nothing you can do about.  So there's no side pots….and if you are short and you're heads up, all the other player has to do is bet $1 more than you have and even if he just has 8-high, you lose and are busted.

Doesn't sound like table stakes to me.  Did the definition change over time or do movie writers like to use the term even though they don't know what it means?  I seem to recall they also used the term "table stakes" in the big game in The Cincinnati Kid (a great poker movie, btw) and I thought it was misapplied there too.

And if table stakes means you can only play with the money you have on the table—well forget that too, as you will see.  I don't want to say anything more, but you kind of knew that when they explain what Western Rules are, it would come into play later in the story.  I can't remember who said it, but someone said that when you see a gun on the table in Act 1, you know it's going to be fired in Act 3.  Same thing when you hear about Western Rules.

Now of course there are some big twists and turns along the way and I don't want to spoil it. Yes, it's an old movie but you may be like me and have never seen it and you should be totally unspoiled for it.  I've seen some reviews of the movie that give away what I consider way too much.  Fortunately I didn't read them until after I saw the movie, which I'm very happy about it.

I will say this:  The resolution of the "big hand" is unlike anything you've likely seen before, either in fiction or definitely in real life, and it's so much fun you won't mind that it could never possibly happen in a real game. 

I should mention that you won't see a whole lot of poker hands, almost none really.  This is not Rounders or even The Cincinnati Kid. The game by the way is five-card draw, although they do also mention five-card stud (it's presumably dealer's choice). It's more about the players, the personalities, and the relationships than the actual cards.  Except for that one "big hand" of course.

The other thing that is so good about the film is you get to see a bunch of terrific actors at the absolute top of their games. A real treat.

I highly recommend this film for poker players and non-poker players alike.  I'm sure it'll come on TCM again soon, but if you can rent it at Amazon, et al, for just a few bucks.

If you've seen it, leave a comment and let me know what you thought of it.

Movie Review: 7 Days to Vegas

7 Days to Vegas is the very amusing new gambling film starring Vince Van Patten, known to all of you as the host of the World Poker Tour on television.  It's available in select theaters but can also be seen on V.O.D. (Amazon, iTunes, etc).  I watched it from the comfort of my home this past weekend and I have to say, the movie is a total delight. 

Vince is no stranger to acting, being the son of actor Dick Van Patten (of Eight is Enough fame) and having been a child star himself.  After he grew up, he became a professional tennis player and played (and beat) the great John McEnroe, among many others.  Since I have been a lifelong tennis fan, I do remember Vince from his tennis days.  Of course we all know him now for his poker commentary on the WPT.

Vince co-wrote the film and it is based on a true story.  I'm going to guess that the word "loosely" belongs in there before the word "based" but I have no direct knowledge of that.

Anyway, Vince plays Duke, who bears a remarkable resemblance to one Vince Van Patten.  Duke was a child actor, then a pro tennis player before he turned to hosting (and crushing) private poker games for his friends, including a lot of Hollywood types.  That's how he makes a living.  In fact he's so good at poker (and recruiting bad players with money to play in his game), he has to bury his winnings in the backyard.  The first part of the film lays all this out, and introduces us to all the colorful characters who populate his games.  Of course, they are all incurable degens, and that sets up the main story of the film.

These degens like to make prop bets, as degens do.  And we see a few of these ridiculous bets, which leads to the most ridiculous bet of all.  Duke manages to get swindled out of all his hard earned poker winnings and ends up broke and in debt.  He lucks into a $1MM inheritance and decides to risk it all to try to make a bigger killing.  So he bets the villain of the piece, an obnoxious big-time movie director named Sebastian, the $1MM against Sebastian's $5MM that he can walk to Las Vegas from Los Angeles in 7 days.

Yeah.  It's totally insane.  It sounds even more insane to me than some of you because I am so familiar with the trip from L.A. to Vegas, having done it dozens of times.  Of course I never walked it….because I'm not totally nuts. Also, because I have a bad back.  But mostly because of the not being totally nuts thing. Nevertheless, recognizing some of the landmarks and towns they travelled through (on foot) made it even a little bit more fun for me.

Well, they establish the ground rules and Duke starts to walk to Vegas—280 miles through the desert in seven days.  Apparently it is summer when he does this since they mention temperatures of 110-120 degrees.  Oh, and he has to wear a suit!  I do wish they had established what kind of footwear Duke was wearing.  Was he able to wear tennis shoes or did he have to wear the dress shoes that would be more appropriate for his suit?

All the degens from the poker game of course have action on whether Duke can make it.  So they all follow him in an RV, which Duke can use for regularly scheduled bathroom visits.  But Duke must sleep outside, not inside the RV.

Of course the journey takes all sorts of surprising—and very funny—twists and turns.  All the characters are funny and crazy, just the sort of folks you might encounter at a big poker game like this, or perhaps even in a more normal poker game in a casino.  Well, maybe not.  But if you follow the poker world (and of course you do if you read my blog), you know all about these kinds of degens and these type of crazy prop bets.  Hell I read about crazy prop bets (almost) like this one nearly every week.  Don't you?

The crazy, funny degens are what keep the movie so entertaining.  Vince and his co-writer have    created some great characters to keep the viewer fascinated.  Sebastian, the villain, is a wonderfully smarmy, vile creature.  Another character thinks he's a ventriloquist. Angry Jim is always, well, angry.  The role of Vince's bother is played by Vince's real-life brother, James.  For that matter, his real wife, actress Eileen Davidson, plays Duke's wife, though she has a relatively minor role.

Among the degens that show up during Duke's walk, all playing themselves, are Vince's poker pals Antonio Esfandiari, Phil Laak and of course Jennifer Tilly,  Great casting, as the two guys are two of the most notorious prop bettors around, and of course, how could you cast real poker players playing themselves in a movie and not ask Jennifer Tilly to join the fun, since she is an extremely talented actress as well as a bracelet-owning poker player.  I do wish the delightful Ms. Tilly had been given a little more to do because you can never get enough Jennifer Tilly.

I should warn you that although the first half of the movie introduces us to this big private poker game Duke runs, this is not a poker movie, per se.  There is not a single bit of poker strategy discussed, there are no hand histories depicted.  But you will definitely recognize bits and pieces of most of the players as poker playing types.  The setting of the underground poker game reminded me of the recent film, Molly's Game, but this movie has a much, much lighter touch than that.  It doesn't take itself anywhere near as seriously as Molly's Game did.

Which is great, because the movie is funny, entertaining, and mostly just plain fun.  I had a smile on my face pretty much the whole time I was watching.  I really think that anyone who likes this blog would enjoy it similarly.  It's just a really good time for 90 minutes.  I heartily recommend to all my blog readers.

One final note.  I said at the outset that this is a gambling movie.  Well it is, but as it turns out, there's really another genre that this movie belongs to even more.  However, if I told what that genre is, it would spoil it for you, so I won't tell you.  You can find out for yourself.  Enjoy!

Congrats to Vince Van Patten for a fun, fine movie.  So, Vince….do you think you could still beat McEnroe?  How about Antonio?

My "Avengers Endgame" Project

Heads up:  There is absolutely no poker discussed in this post.  Nothing about Vegas either.  This is off topic and is (sort of) a movie review but it's actually more than just a movie review.  The last part of this post I will discuss a "project" I was tasked with by my friends—how to see, enjoy and understand AVENGERS: ENDGAME without having (initially at least) seen any of the previous MCU films.

And there will be spoilers, but don't worry, I'll give you plenty of warning before I get to the spoilers.  I'm not gonna just blurt out that there's no truth to the rumor that Rosebud is the name of Thanos's sled, so don't worry. I will give my spoiler-free thoughts first, then, there will be break for some pics, and then I will discuss the film in more detail and with plenty of spoilers. You'll get a warning.

Although, honestly, I'm wondering if it is even necessary to give the warning at this point.  The movie has been out for a month, and pretty much everyone who wants to see it already has, right?  And those of you who haven't seen it yet probably have no interest in doing so, right?  For that matter, those of who haven't seen it by now have already given up reading this post and are now Googling for the latest soccer results.  Either way, if you haven't seen it by now, you probably don't care about the possibility of this post ruining it for you.

Regardless, I'll warn you.

I do have to start off with big confession.  I was wrong.  Totally and completely wrong.  I goofed, and I'm admitting it.  Those of you with good memories will recall that a year ago I did a post after seeing AVENGERS; INFINITY WAR criticizing the ending of that film, really blasting it.  I am so embarrassed by that post now that I shouldn't link to it, in fact I should have deleted it.  But no, I'll let you all have a good laugh if you so chose, so you can find that post here.

Let me just say that in the year since I wrote that foolishness, I've had plenty of time to rethink my position and I was just wrong.  Oh, that was my reaction at the time, and it was a startling way to end a super-hero movie, but I was able to get over it.  And forgive the Marvel folks for taking that creative path.  By the time ENDGAME came out, I had totally forgiven them and was more than ready to see how they were going to get of that corner they'd painted themselves in.

Noticing that INFINITY WAR  was on Netlix, I rewatched it a week or two before the sequel came out. Being totally prepared for the ending really helped my enjoyment of it.  And of course this time I was watching it just a short time before I'd be able to see the resolution and the presumably happy ending.

And there was all the hype for ENDGAME. which I got all caught up in.  Suddenly I was looking forward to seeing the finale as much as anyone. And thus, I did indeed see it on the first weekend (even tho tickets were hard to come by).  Fortunately, everyone I follow on Twitter was good and no one spoiled it.

But I had done a bit of prep work for myself.  There were all kinds of articles on the internet talking about the movie—promising no spoilers—that gave you tips for what earlier movies in the MCU series were especially important for ENDGAME.  So I made sure I brushed up on those movies. The trouble was that every article I read recommending the 6 or 7 "must see" movies listed different films!  At a certain point I just had to go with my best instincts.

Well, the bottom line was, the movie wasn't just good….it wasn't just great.  It was freaking awesome.  I absolutely loved almost everything about it.  Really I thought all the decisions they made in telling the story were just wonderful, and all were easily justified.  Could they have done a few things differently?  Of course.  But I was totally satisfied with the way it turned out.  It is, in my opinion, the best Marvel movie ever, the best super-hero movie ever, and really one of the best film experiences I've ever had.  I left the theater humming a certain song, feeling extremely happy even though my eyes got a little watery a few times.

I spent the rest of the day and evening playing that certain song and scouring the internet for more info.  I wanted explanations/theories for stuff I didn't quite get (or stuff I had to guess about).  And I wanted to find out about all the Easter Eggs I saw and those that I may have missed, which I'd be looking for on my second viewing.  Yeah, I knew instantly I'd be back to see it again.  Hell, if it would have been possible, I would have just sat in my seat and watched it again right then and there (after a quick trip to the Mens Room).

I loved the movie.

And I was back again the very next weekend for a second viewing.

OK, so after a few pics, I'll give the uncensored review of the movie, you know, the one with spoilers.

WARNING: From here on, this post will definitely contain spoilers for AVENGERS: ENDGAME. Proceed at your own peril.

I already said I loved everything.  What did I especially love?  Well I love time travel stories so I loved that aspect of it, and the spin they put on it.  We've seen so many time travel stories with pretty much standard rules, it was nice they had completely different rules, and took full advantage of that. I loved the fact that they mentioned so many other time travel movies and explained how they all got the rules wrong!  I loved the fact that they said (something like) BACK TO THE FUTURE was bullshit (regarding its rules).  And by the way, BACK TO THE FUTURE is one of my all time favorite movies, definitely in the top 3 or 4. That was so damn funny. And I loved the fact that they revisited so many of the earlier movies (and did great spins on them) to complete the "time heist."  Those revisits were so cool (and reminded me of BACK TO THE FUTURE 2).

Captain America fighting his past self was incredible.  Stark's 1970 encounter with his father was incredibly satisfying.  Black Widow's sacrifice was….well somewhat mystifying and of course tragic.  It shocked me because I had heard that she was going to star in a stand-alone Black Widow movie.  We'll have to see how that plays out. 

And then there is fat Thor.  OMG.  I know this is controversial. There are a lot of people who didn't like it, or even hated it.  Of course, women tended to especially hate what they did to Thor, for obvious reasons.  But I loved it and thought it totally worked in the context of the story.  I mean, when I first saw him, fat and shirtless, I think I laughed non-stop for five minutes.  Really, I could not stop giggling.  As I said to one prominent female Twitterer who said fat Thor ruined the movie for her: "That was seriously one of the very best things in the movie...both for the story's sake and for meta reasons. I mean just thinking of Hemsworth's female fan base reacting as you did had me chuckling for the rest of the film."

It must have been a hard decision, risking alienating viewers like that. But I think it totally worked for the purpose of the story.  This was the best Thor we've seen in all the Marvel movies, the richest, most complex character.  And may I just say, Chris Hemsworth is a helluva actor for pulling it off—for pulling off all the versions of the Thor character since the beginning.  He's more than just a pretty face (and chiseled physique).  Perhaps it is evil of me, but thinking of how the ladies in the audience would react somehow made it even better for me.

And of course it led to some great jokes, including his mom saying to him, "Eat a salad."  And Rhodey responding to Thor's question, "Do you know what's going through my veins?" with the answer "Cheese Whiz?"

Certainly the end of the Iron Man story was very sad, very emotional but very satisfying.  Robert Downey, Jr deserves an Oscar nomination for his work here (so does Hemsworth, if you ask me).  A great character and a great performance.  Just amazing. Was I sad to see Tony Stark die?  Of course.  But if Downey is through playing the character, what a send off he got.

But my absolute most favorite thing about the movie was the resolution they gave Captain America.  Wow.  I know this is controversial too.  I read some complaints.  Cap would never do that.  Why not Bucky instead of Sam as the new Cap?  And of course, all the time travel/time line issues it creates. 

But to me, it was perfect.  Cap finally going back and having that dance with Peggy.  As soon as I heard the first notes of "It's Been a Long, Long Time," my eyes got watery (call me a sentimental old fool).  That was the song I couldn't stop playing after seeing the film.  And it was foreshadowed in every movie Cap was in, and even in Endgame it was foreshadowed in the 1970 scene, when he saw her in her office.  Perhaps that's the moment when he decided to return to her at the end?

Anyway, it made an already epic film even better.

The three hours just whizzed by.  It was totally captivating.  Bravo.

Now here is the epilog to my review, and it is probably more important than review itself.  I was tasked by my good friends Woody and LM with "prepping" them so they could enjoy ENDGAME even though they had not seen a single one of the MCU movies previously.

Seriously.

When they realized that everyone on the planet was digging this movie, they asked me if they should see it.  I told them no.  I said you can't just watch ENDGAME if you haven't seen any of the movies that led up to it.  It wouldn't make any sense at all.

Now I should mention that LM read a lot of comics as a kid.  She was a fan, and knew a lot of the original Marvel heroes.  Her brother is a major comic book nerd with a huge comics collection. In fact, her brother and I were both members of the same comic book club when we were teen-agers (although I never knew or met LM at the time, just one of those weird coincidences).  She always preferred DC Comics to Marvel, but knew Marvel. And she had seen some movies based on comics (we saw the Toby McGuire Spider-Man together).  Just not any of the MCU movies.  But she knew who Thor, Iron-Man, Captain America and a few others were, at least from their comic book versions.

Woody was a tougher case.  He had never read comics and had maybe only seen a couple of comic book movies—a few Superman movies.

But they are determined people.  They insisted that this was too big of a cultural phenomenon for them to miss.  And did they really have to see all the previous 21 films???

I think LM said they would start watching a few of the previous ones at random to give them some idea.  I said that wouldn't work.  I thought about it.  I came up with an idea, that was actually kind of dumb—at least the first part of it.  I said that they should first watch INFINITY WAR which was available on Netflix.  One of three things would happen, I predicted.  One, they would be so lost they'd give up after 15 minutes and forget the idea.  Two, they would be extremely confused but somehow enjoy and be intrigued enough to be wanna see a few more films to get some key background information before seeing ENDGAME.  Or three (and this was the least likely scenario), they would like it so much they would be ready to jump in and either see all the previous films or just run out and see ENDGAME right away.

My prediction was the first one.  But what happened was a lot closer to the second possibility.  While they were watching it, LM was texting me all sorts of questions about who the characters were and what their relationships were and whether this character or that character was a good guy or a bad guy. I tried to respond as best I could (they even took pics off their screen and sent them to me, asking "Who is this?")

Although they admitted they were confused and more than a bit lost, somehow, someway they got enough out of the experience to want to see ENDGAME.  Could I help some more?

When I suggested watching INFINITY WAR, I said in the unlikely event they still wanted to see ENDGAME, I would put together a list of a few of the movies they absolutely needed to see before seeing ENDGAME

Now they were calling my bluff.  By this time I had seen ENDGAME so I pretty much knew what I felt were the most important films leading up to it.

As I noted, there were lists all over the internet suggesting which movies were the "must-see" ones to prepare for ENDGAME.  I didn't like any of those lists.  Most of them picked movies based on key plot points that were used in ENDGAME.  For me, the character arcs, especially the character arcs of the three most important Avengers, was what was crucial to enjoying ENDGAME, not the details of where what Infinity Stone was found on what planet and taken from what villain (or hero). 

It was a character driven story, to my mind.

Of course, the list I came up with for them was based on my own prejudices, and tastes. No way around that (other than use some stranger's list off the internet, which would be based on that person's biases and tastes).

Since to me the best moment in ENDGAME was Cap's decision, I thought that all three Captain America movies were absolute musts.  Additionally, all of them were very good movies, among the best of the series.

Now there's Iron Man, perhaps the most important character in the series.  It better be emotional when he dies.  So for sure they had to see the first Iron Man movie, also the first MCU movie.  And it is a good movie too.  What about the other two Iron Man movies?  In a perfect world, yes, but no time.  The other two were not especially good movies, and I thought they could get enough Iron Man characterization from the first film and from the other films I had selected.

And of course Thor.  I wanted to limit it to one Thor movie for time sake.  The best of the three was the last one, THOR: RAGNORAK.  And it was even on Netflix.  So it was the obvious choice.  LM remembered Thor from the comics, so I didn't think she'd be lost not having seen the first two.  Another bonus:  Hulk is Thor's co-star in that film so they'd get important information into Hulk's development. BTW, LM was a big fan of the old Hulk TV show with Lou Ferrigno.

Besides, I was also going to put the first two Avengers movies on my list, which would give them more insight into Thor (as well as Iron Man).  And those two movies would give them great insight into the whole group dynamic, as well as many of the other characters.

That was it.  In order to fill in the gaps, I verbally gave them a lot of info on Guardians of the Galaxy (both the characters and the key plot point they revisit in ENDGAME), Dr. Strange (and the time stone), the Ant-man movies (Dr. Pym, Pym particles, the Quantum Realm and the importance of Scott's daughter to him), Black Panther (advanced technology) and Captain Marvel (especially the after-credit scene, which sort of explains how she was able to find Stark's disabled space ship). Since I skipped the first two stand-alone Thor movies, I also gave them background on Thor, and explained how his (ex) girlfriend Jane wound up in Asgard with the reality stone inside of her, how his mother died when she was there. Also I made sure they knew about Thor's hammer's unique properties (one must be worthy to lift it).  I actually made voice recordings on all of these topics.  I knew what was important to clue them in on, but it was a challenge to discuss these things in a way that didn't spoil anything.

For example, even though I had heard before seeing ENDGAME that they used time travel to bring back the people who Thanos had snapped out of existence, I didn't tell them that.  It turned out to be a great surprise for LM, who loves time travel stories.  Another thing I pointed out, without explanation, was that Thor appeared shirtless in Ragnorak.  I knew it was unnecessary to point this out for LM but I wanted to make sure Woody noticed too.  That was to set them up for fat Thor.

To my delight, they enjoyed every one of the Marvel movies I recommended.  Some of them I had recently rewatched myself, and a couple of them I ended up rewatching the same night they were experiencing them for the first time.  It gave me a chance to point out a few things or answer their questions.

As they neared the end of the list, I recommended that they rewatch INFINITY WAR again, now that they had all the background.  They had decided to do that on their own. Now that they had all the background, it was almost a whole new movie for them (and much better).

Finally they were ready to see AVENGERS: ENDGAME.  I was nervous when they went, I felt like I would be responsible if they didn't like it—it would be my fault that I didn't prepare them well. We joked that I was their professor, and I needed my students to be approve of the course I provided. Well, it turned out to be no problem, they loved the movie.  Although I have to say, LM did absolutely hate, hate, hate fat Thor for the obvious reason.  She wanted to enjoy Hemsworth's abs. 

In fact, LM said she wanted to see it again, so a few days later she joined me for another viewing (her second, my third).  She loved it again, and I was able to point out a few more Easter Eggs and explain a few things.  We both agree that we can't wait until she has the Blu-Ray and we can watch it together on her giant 4G screen and we can stop it at will and I can point out more goodies.

I have to say, I actually had a lot of fun thinking about the movies I wanted them to see, making my voice notes for them, hearing their reactions to them, and kind of re-experiencing the whole series with them.  It was a successful project.

I leave you with the list of the movies I had them watch, in order, and a bit of a make-good for those of you who were disappointed with fat Thor. What do you think of my selections?

1. Iron-Man

2. Capt. America: The First Avenger

3. The Avengers

4. Capt. America: The Winter Soldier

5. Avengers: Age of Ultron

6. Capt. America: Civil War

7. Thor: Ragnarok

8. Avengers: Infinity War.