WARNING: This is not a poker post. It is completely off-topic from my usual
content. It is a movie review of the
most popular movie on the planet right now.
Actually, to be more accurate, it is really a rant about what I didn't
like about the film.
WARNING: There is no way I can talk about what I
didn't like without spoiling the movie.
So, consider this a major, serious, no-shit-I-mean-it SPOILER WARNING for the hit movie, AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR. I mean it
folks, if you haven't seen AVENGERS:
INFINITY WAR well, first of all, I kind of envy you but more importantly,
do not read this post unless you are sure you won't be seeing it or don't mind
being spoiled. If you are planning on
seeing it, bookmark this and come back when you do and then you can compare
your thoughts to mine. I personally hate
spoilers so I trust you have all been properly warned.
Ready? Scroll down:
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NO SERIOUSLY, THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD.
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REALLY, I MEAN IT!!!!
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Ok, that should be enough notice. I don't want to hear any complaints that I
"ruined the movie" for you.
Actually, the writers and the producers of the movie did that. Well, I dunno about you, but they sure ruined
it for me.
I just saw the Avengers movie Sunday and I really can't put
into words my reaction when the movie was over.
Oh actually I can, but I vowed not to use those type of words on this
blog.
My reaction alternated between "What the hell was
that?" and "What the hell were they thinking?"
Now for the first approximately five and a half hours of the
film, it was fine. Not great by any
means, but certainly a fun, enjoyable Marvel comics movie. It was more than OK. It certainly wasn't as good as the best
Marvel movie (the original Avengers, which I actually reviewed on this very
blog when it was released, see here).
Not as good as the sequel or as the better films in the series, (the first Iron
Man, the new Spider-Man and the second and third Captain America films come to
mind). But maybe right after those. It was pretty much what I expected.
Until the very end. What
happened in the end? Well…AGAIN,
SPOILER WARNING.
The Avengers lost and everyone died.
Well night quite. The Avengers did lose, but not quite everyone
died. Although we can't be sure. Because the way they died—they just disintegrated
after the big bad guy snapped his fingers—implies that more could die after the
film ends. Who died? Well, if you're a "TLDR" type of
person (and you likely are if you read this blog), then it would be easier to
Google who didn't die than who did die, that's how much of a blood bath it was.
Now before you rip into me, yes, I know that this is
really just part 1 of a two part Avengers story (or is it really like part
19?). I did know that going in. I know that next year we will be treated to the
conclusion, and that somehow, through the magic of Stan Lee, movies, comics,
super-heroes and bad writing, all the dead will someone return to life and save
the world. And it will be thrilling. And
they'll all make jokes about not being dead anymore. Ha ha.
After all, most of the dead characters already have additional
Marvel movies announced (which I suppose could take place before they all died,
but probably won't).
But for now, for a whole year, this is where we stand. A shitload of dead Avengers.
I'm sorry, this is just not what I expect from a Marvel movie,
from a comic book movie. I was just
stunned. It was so dark. So (seemingly) final. So depressing. So somber. So dismal.
I sat there thinking, "that's it?" while the credits
rolled. I sat glued to my seat hoping
that the inevitable mid or post credits tag would give me some hope for
future. Like Tony Stark popping up on
the screen saying, "Joke time's over, sucker!" But no. The post credits scene just double
downs on what we saw and is even more depressing.
Seriously, Marvel?
Seriously? I go to a Super Hero
movie to be entertained. It's supposed
to be a fun experience. I should leave
the theater with a smile on my face knowing I had a good time for two plus
hours. All the good will in that regard
the movie had earned with me for the first 95% went out the window after the
last 10 minutes. That was anything but
fun. I felt cheated. I felt that all the time I had spent with the
previous movies in the series had been wasted.
I just sat there thinking, "what the hell was
that?" A cliff hanger where
everyone is in imminent danger is one thing.
But this is past the point of danger.
If they're dead they no longer in danger. I suppose that's the "glass is half
full" way to look at it.
Honestly, I see the ending as just a giant F.U. to all the fans
who have supported the films all these years. "We know you came here for a
good time, but we don't give a shit.
We're going to send you home with a really dark, disturbing ending to
ruin your day. Thanks for your support,
and be sure to come back next year when we'll come up with some really hokey
way to bring all the characters you love back to life."
A giant F.U.
The thing is, after this experience, I'm not too keen on giving
these guys any more of money. I have
zero enthusiasm for seeing the resolution.
Not after this. I'd sooner write
to Marvel and demand my money back for all their movies I've paid for up to
now. I sure don't want to give them any more money.
I want to make it clear I don't expect every movie I see to
leave me smiling. I've seen some great
movies that do not have happy endings. Schlinder's List wasn't exactly a laugh
riot (although it did have an uplifting aspect to it). But as I said, comic
book movies are supposed to be fun. If
you leave a comic book movie in stunned silence (and as far as I could tell at
the theater I saw, everyone was very quiet), I think you're doing it wrong.
And by killing so many people, I think it's going to make it
really hokey when they bring them all back.
I mean the odd return to the living of some not-quite-dead character
here or there is always a bit of a stretch, but if you don't abuse it, it can
be forgivable (especially for a really great character). But a mass resurrection? That's not respecting your audience. I guess
we will see Dr. Strange reverse time, or reveal that the last 10 minutes of
this flick is all an elaborate illusion that is part of some great master
plan. That won't make me forget the bad
feeling I had as I walked out of the theater yesterday.
The thing that shocks me even more than the ending is the fact
that I haven't seen even one other person complaining about this. Not one.
True that until now I have been avoiding reading much about the film to
avoid spoilers, but still, all I've seen is praise (mild and/or strong). Maybe that's because you can't really rant
about this without spoiling the film. Nevertheless, I seem to be alone on this,
at least so far. Just as I was writing
this I saw a few people I respect on Twitter all talking about how much they
liked the movie, no one said anything about the ending.
Maybe I'm just out there all alone. Maybe I'm crazy? And I know the movie is setting all sorts of
box office records. Maybe that will convince
Marvel to end all their future movies with 3/4's of the cast dead—not to
mention half the population of the world, I guess I left that detail out, that
half of all the normal people on the planet also die! Maybe that makes the ending more upbeat,
somehow?
I dunno….I just don't get it.
Instead of driving home rehashing all the fun bits in the film that I
liked, all I could think of was how dark and depressing the ending was.
Just ruined the whole experience for me. (Edited to add: My long time pal "Norm", with whom I have seen a ton of super hero movies over the years--but not this one--just emailed me his response to this post: "My two-word comment on the movie: Avengers Disassembled.")