Josie's Tale of "Woman Said" and "Pocket Kings"

This is from Very Josie's awesome poker blog, but when I read it, I really thought this part of her story belongs on my blog.  Check out these paragraphs:

I was settling in next to a very very young looking dealer.  I'm guessing he was 21-22 only because you must have to be that old to work in a casino.  As I'm settling my shiat down he says to me "Why don't you get me a back rub while you're there?"

And for some strange reason I reply with "Why don't you give me pocket kings and I'll give you a front rub." (!) I still don't know how or why it came out of my mouth but it did.  The table erupts and starts laughing.  I sit down and he deals me a hand.  A guy 2 away to my right jams all in.  Action is to me and I look at the first card; it's a king.  I chuckle to myself that that kid dealer did half his job.  The other card is a king too.  omfg.  I go all in over the top of the previous all in.  It gets folded all around and my fishponent says "No way you got pocket kings" but looks a little glum as he turns over Q-J off suit.  I smile and show my cowboys.  And then I take that kid out and get another bounty.  Unbelievable.

I say to the dealer who's smiling BIG at me "Erm...I was kidding you know....and I'm way too old for you...like double your age."  He replies "That's okay - age doesn't matter."  Omfg....well maybe a backrub.  He gets moved and I go on dinner break thank goodness.

Note: 1) "woman said" story.  2) "Dreaded Pocket Kings" story.

How is this story not on my blog?  Oh wait. the Hero won with Pocket Kings, now I see.

Anyway, her whole adventure is worth your time and can be found here, go there and enjoy!

The Bride Shot Craps

Seeing and hearing all the commercials for Valentine’s Day coming up, I was reminded that quite a few times the past few years I’ve found myself in Vegas for Valentine’s Day.  This has been more do to coincidence than any specific reason.  This year I will not be there on V-Day.

One observation I made while there on this day is that you see an awful lot of couples who pick this day to get married.  At least in Vegas.  Now, it is not unusual to see a bride, a groom, bridesmaids and allegedly best men walking through a Vegas casino any evening, particular on a weekend night, but you just see a whole lot more of this on Valentine’s Day.  I would say on average I’ve seen at least half a dozen brides traipsing thru casinos every V-Day I’ve been there.

It’s actually a good deal for the guy.  It makes one less date he has to keep track of.  He might forget his anniversary.  He might forget Valentine’s Day.  But forgetting both?  Much less likely.

Sweet.

Thinking about brides walking through casinos reminds me of a story that is probably now almost 30 years old.  Yeah, I’ve been going to Vegas that long.  It was so long ago that the first time I saw a bride in a wedding dress walking through the casino, I did a double take.  Eventually, I got a bit used to it, but then one night I saw something that really caught my eye.

This night, I saw a lovely young couple at what appeared to be a hot craps table.  The young woman was throwing the dice, and there was a lot of screaming and cheering going on.  Apparently the young woman was having a nice roll.

She was dressed rather unusually for shooting craps.  She was wearing a tight, very low cut, strapless white wedding dress (including train).  Next to her was a good looking young man in a very nice tuxedo, with the bow tie undone, hanging from his neck.  It was pretty obvious that within the past hour or so these two had said their “I do’s” to each other. 

And now they were at the craps table?  Clearly a quintessential “Only in Vegas” story.  I stopped and watched, and if I had a camera and it wasn’t forbidden to take pictures in a casino, I definitely would have snapped a photo.  The scene really tickled me.

I watched a few roles.  The bride was quite the looker and the dress was designed to show off her considerable assets.  I was thinking what an unusual way to spend a wedding night!  And it certainly occurred to me that, well, I truly wondered if this was the best use of their time.  This was long before I started playing poker, and I played craps a lot and enjoyed it.  I enjoyed shooting craps as much as the next guy.

Still, looking at the bride in her tight, sexy wedding dress, I had to wonder what was wrong with the groom.  He had just been given a license by the state of Nevada to, ahem, consummate his relationship with this lovely young bride.  Indeed, he was legally obligated to do it.  I’m pretty sure pretty much every man in the vicinity—myself included—could think of a better way for a man in his shoes to spend this evening than gambling.  And remember, right there on the craps table, there is that big space that has the word “come” right on it, in case he needed a hint.

The stickman had the same thought, apparently.  While withholding the dice from the bride as the dealers were paying off bets, he turned to the couple and said, “Considering the way you’re dressed, isn’t there something else you two should be doing right now?”

I think he was actually speaking to the guy but the bride answered (get used to it, fella).  She laughed and said, “We’ve been living together for three years.  Believe me, it’s no big deal.”

Getting Berated by a Professional Poker Player

This took place on a Sunday during my most recent Vegas trip.  I love the structure of the Binion’s 2:00 PM tournament and they get big crowds (80-120 runners) on the weekends.  And as I've blogged, I’ve had some success there before. 

On this Sunday I got there early and saw a lot of familiar faces.  This tournament, being downtown, attracts a lot of regulars and locals.  I’m getting used to seeing the same faces every time I play even though I’m not there every weekend like a lot of folks are.  We start to recognize each other and nod hello as we spot each other.

One player, a middle aged, rather non descript looking fellow, definitely seemed familiar to me but I couldn’t remember why.  I just knew instantly that I didn’t want to start out at the same table as this guy.  I wasn’t sure why.  Maybe it was because he was a really good player, and of course, you’d prefer not be at the same table with a really good player.  Ideally, you’d like to start at a table with the nine worst players in the history of poker.  Maybe I remembered him taking down a pot from me with really good play or a really outrageous bluff (which of course, is indeed really good play).  I wasn’t sure why, I just knew I didn’t want him at my table.  Something triggered in my mind but I can’t grasp the exact memory.

As everyone took their seats as the tournament was about to start, of course this guy sits at my table.  And he starts talking non-stop with the guy next to me (I was in Seat 6, he was in Seat 3).  He starts bragging about winning the 7PM tournament at Stratosphere the night before.  And then goes on bragging about a bunch of other tournament cashes.  Well, now I know one thing about him—he talks non-stop and he thinks he’s god’s gift to poker!  So if nothing else, he’s a annoying big-mouth.

As the cards are being dealt, I remember something else.  This guy likes to give a running commentary on the cards, talking about the hands and what people have.  Now, I don’t mean he gave anything away, that’s strictly forbidden.  It was more like after the hand he would speculate on hands we hadn’t seen or offer hints as to what he had, what he won with or what he threw away when he was sure he was beaten. He was sorta giving poker lessons during the time between hands, if you know what I mean.

I was pretty sure now that I remembered this guy being a really good player who wasn’t the least bit shy letting you know that he was a really good player.  And an annoying non-stop talker.

Well, things got very interesting for me very early.  Before we had even completed one orbit, I look down at pocket Aces (not pocket Kings, thank goodness!) in late position.  We need to give this character a name.  I actually know his real name (details forthcoming) but in keeping with the spirit of this blog, we’ll have to call him something else.  So let’s just call him Poker Genius, shall we?  Poker Genius had already limped into this pot, as had one or two others.  This was early in the first level (blinds 25/50) so I made the more-or-less standard raise to three big blinds ($150).  Only Poker Genius called my raise.

The flop came 2-4-6, two hearts.  Neither of my Aces was a heart.  That flop couldn’t have hit Mr. Genius could it?  Not if he called my raise, right?  He checked.  I bet $250.  He made it $750.  I supposed I should have mucked there but I was sure this guy was capable of making a play for the pot with nothing.  His check-raise smelled to me of a steal attempt.  Maybe he had a flush draw?

I went ahead and called.  The next card was a heart, which I didn’t like, so I checked.  But he didn’t seem to like it he either, he checked behind me.  At that point, if he had bet, I likely would have folded. 

The river was a high heart.  There were now four hearts on the board, plus the straight draw from the flop.  I didn’t really like my aces since, as I said, neither was a heart.  I checked.  Poker Genius thought for a bit and then bet out $1,000.00.

My head was ordering me to fold.  But my gut was speaking louder.  Let me remind you of the structure of this tournament.  You actually start out with $20,000 in chips. For only $105.  I know of no other tournament at anything like that entry fee where you get so many chips.  The Aria tournament I also like gives you $10,000 in chips for $125.  That’s a huge starting stack Binion's give you.  Also, after the first three levels, the levels move from 20 minutes to 30 minutes each.  So you really get some time to actually play some poker for quite awhile before you have to start playing desperately.

As such, the bet I had to call was only 5% of my starting stack, which I had all of at the start of this hand.  If I called and lost, I’d still have way over $18,000 in chips, more than I’d start with at any tournament I’m likely to play.  And close to the original starting stack too.  The point being if the same action had taken place at any other tournament I’m likely to play, that’s an immediate fold if I had even gotten to the river.

But in this tournament, with the stacks and structure I described, I started thinking it might worth a call.  I couldn’t shake the feeling that Poker Genius was pulling a bluff.  I mean, there must have been some other reason (other than his non-stop chatter) that I was remembering this guy, right? 

So I decided this one time I’d call.  I was curious to see what he called my raise with.  I was thinking there was at least a 1 in 3 chance he was totally bluffing, or had maybe a medium pocket pair that the flop missed.  When I called, Poker Genius flipped over his hand saying, “If you have a flush it’s good.  I flopped a straight.”  Sure enough, he played 3-5 clubs and hit a straight on the flop.

I said “nice hand” and mucked my cards, not showing.  I paid dearly for the information I got, why should I give him any information on me when he’s taking my chips?  That should have been the end of it, but not with Mr. Poker Genius. 

Instead of just stacking his chips and accepting his win, he couldn’t help commenting.  He was actually shocked that I didn’t have him beat!  Incredulously, he said to me, “What did you call me with, sir?  There were four hearts on the board!”  I should have said nothing, but I couldn’t stop myself from saying, “I wanted to see it.”

“You wanted to see it?  You wanted to see it?”  The tone was one of disbelief.  He then said to the player to his right whose ear he had been talking off for the past 15 minutes, “They always want to see.  No one ever believes me, even though I always have it.”  Then he turned back to me, and rather unpleasantly said, “Keep wanting to see it, sir.  I would appreciate it.”

I said nothing more.  I was pissed but kept it to myself.  I knew in hindsight I’d played the hand badly but at least I had reasons in my mind anyway for what I had done.  I didn’t appreciate Mr. Poker Genius criticizing my play.  But hey that’s poker.  In a cash game, I would have asked for another table so I could get away from this clown.  But that was not an option at a tournament.

I was prepared to sit there silently and not say anything more and hope I would have an opportunity to take some chips back from this guy.  But a guy in the 9 seat suddenly spoke up.  As I had said, there are a lot of regulars in this tournament, a lot of people who have played each other before. So Seat 9 says to the guy, “Why don’t you shut up?  You always berate the other players.  That’s your style, I’ve seen it many times before.  I don’t want to hear it.  Keep your mouth shut.”

Poker Genius seemed genuinely surprised. And a little bit hurt (aw, too bad).  “I didn’t berate him, sir.  I don’t think I berated him.”  I piped in, “Well, you did insult my play.”  He replied, “I don’t think I did, sir.”  I said nothing.  The other guy was back at it, “Yes, that’s your thing, you berate the other players, you insult them.  And I’m sick of it.”

At that point, the dealer stepped in.  He warned everyone to calm down and called the floor over.  He explained what happened to the floor (accurately).  The floor gave everyone at the table a warning that if there was any more unpleasantness, there would be penalties, he has no tolerance for this.  I said nothing, I had no plans to continue this.  The third guy repeated that it was a pattern with Poker Genius.  Poker Genius said not to worry, there’d be nothing further.

So we went back to poker.  Now, if I am going to have long term success playing poker, this is something I’m really going to have to improve on.  Because, internally, I could not let this go.  For the next hour or so I was just sitting there seething, explaining to myself why the call was justified. I’m not sure if I was more upset with the jerk or myself, but I was not paying full attention to the game.  I was definitely letting it affect me. 

Meanwhile, Poker Genius kept right on chatting, but he did seem, at least for awhile, to cut out any derogatory or insulting comments.  And he avoided saying anything at all to me (or the guy who spoke up for me).  But one thing is clear.  This guy is not capable of playing poker silently.  If you taped this guy’s mouth shut, he wouldn’t be able to function at a poker table.

I did lousy at the game for the next hour because I was distracted by this.  Something I have to improve on.  Anyway, as I watched and listened to this guy blather, I came to think that this guy isn’t really a bad guy, he just really has no idea how he comes off when he says these things.  I think he really doesn’t have a clue how unpleasant he can be.

So I decided that it would be really nice, and it would really show me something, if during the first break the guy came over to me and said something to me.  You know, “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean anything, I didn’t think I was insulting you, I’m sorry you took it the wrong way.”  That would really show me something and make me respect the guy.  I would have of course responded with something “No hard feelings, no problem” or whatever.

But the guy did no such thing.  Oh well.

Soon after the AA incident happened, a new player sat down in seat 10.  He recognized Mr. Genius. They started chatting up a storm about different tournaments in town. Genius bragged about his win at Stratosphere.  And the new player asked his name. He gave his first name.  He asked for his last name, and got that too. I memorized it and made a note to Google him after the tournament was over.

The tournament continued and I was doing poorly but due to the structure I was hanging on.  Eventually, I finally got past this whole thing and finally started playing better, and started chipping up. Then a wonderful thing happened.  As tables broke, Mr. Poker Genius was moved to a different table!  Nirvana!  As PG gathered his chips to move to his new table, he said, “Well, this table’s gonna get a lot more quiet.”  He was right about that.

Anyway, my head cleared and freed of Poker Genius, I started making a nice come back.  Then my table broke and I was moved to a new table.  Of course….it was right next to Mr. Poker Genius!  He said, “Did you miss me, sir?”  I said, “Yes, and I wasn’t even aiming at you.”  He said he knew.

At this new table, it appeared PG had already made a new “friend.”  When he didn’t make a bet on the river and took down a pot, the player he beat said, “Nice bet for value there.”  Apparently he thought PG cost himself a bet by not betting the river.  PG gave a long explanation on how there was no way the other guy would have called a bet unless he had him (PG) beat.  But the other guy explained that if had only bet “X” he would have called.  So Poker Genius said to him, “Wow, you would have called a bet of X?  I’m sorry.  I thought you were a better player than that.  I apologize for overestimating your poker skills, sir.”  There he goes, winning friends again!

I finally got my chance to get a small bit of revenge with Mr. Genius.  In the big blind I was dealt pocket 6’s.  A bunch of limpers entered the pot.  Mr. Genius on the button made a modest raise (there was no small blind this hand).  With all the limper money in there I thought it was ok to call the raise since I had the Big Blind discount.  It was 3 or 4 of us seeing the flop. 

I hit my set on the flop and checked.  Folded to PG who made a modest bet which I smooth called.  No one else stayed in.  On the turn I hit my fourth 6^th!  Of course I checked my quads, but this time PG checked behind me.

The river put three to a flush on the board, so I checked again, praying Mr. PG would bet.  He did, a fairly large bet (sorry, I don’t have the details in my notes).  So what do I do?  Part of what I did was actually “Hollywooding” and part was just counting my chips because what I wanted to do was bet the minimum re-raise and induce a call or better, a re-raise.  But in counting my chips, I realized that if I bet the minimum I could bet, I wouldn’t have a lot of chips left.  And I figured that would be a real donkey move, re-raising the min and leaving such a small stack behind, I’d look like I didn’t know anything about poker and this guy already thought I was a fish.  So after counting I just shrugged my shoulders and shoved all in. 

Unfortunately, Mr. Poker Genius didn’t take the bait and folded.  Since you so rarely get quads, I had to show them off.  And he said, “I knew you had one 6, I didn’t know you had two. A little bit much with the 'Hollywooding' sir.”  So he didn’t have the flush.  He probably didn’t have anything and just bet to represent the flush on a bluff.

Afterwards, I realized that I should have taken advantage of this guy thinking I was clueless.  I should have made the minimum raise anyway.  He might have thought that I was stupid enough to not know that I was pot committed there and maybe I thus either didn’t have a hand he couldn’t beat or would fold to his putting me all in.  But inasmuch as he didn’t even have a flush, I doubt it would have made any difference.

A great punch line to this story would be that this hand made all the difference and was a factor in my cashing in the tournament.  But alas, this was not to be.  I lasted another hour but not long enough to cash.

When I got back to my computer, I googled Poker Genius.  I found it he's famous or rather infamous for borrowing money for buy-in's and not paying them back. He is well known, and not necesarily in a positive away, around town.

But I do have to admit, for all his faults, and there are many, he is a pretty good poker player.  And he certainly isn’t afraid to let you know this.

EDITED TO ADD (JANUARY, 2013)  ALTHOUGH THERE HAVE BEEN A NUMBER OF SUBSEQUENT REFERENCES TO "POKER GENIUS", A DETAILED SEQUEL WITH AN INTERESTING PAY OFF CAN BE FOUND HERE.