Last week in Vegas, my buddy Lightning made a last minute decision to
come to Vegas while I was there. And he decided to organize a dinner with some
of his poker pals. The final guest list
was supposed to be Alysia Chang, VegasDWP and of course, yours truly. He had invited a few others but for various
reasons, they couldn't make it. So it
appeared that it would just be dinner for four.
It didn't quite work out that way.
The venue for this feast was Hugo's
Cellar at the Four Queens downtown. You
might remember I told you about a dinner around Christmas time last year with
Alysia & DWP (here). It is a very classy
place, and a bit pricier than the In-N-Out Burger cuisine I'm used to.
I was the first of the party to
arrive, and I waited around for the others to show up. Lightning, who had been
dropped off by AC while she went to locate the parking garage, was next and
immediately informed me that there would be a couple of unexpected guests
joining us for dinner, two people that neither Lightning nor I had met before—or
even knew existed until minutes before.
It seems AC had invited a friend of
hers to join us. Of course I will have
to give him a phony name, as is my wont.
Truth be told, due to the salaciousness of the evening, it would really
be best if I gave everyone in attendance pseudonyms (myself included), but
sadly, that won't work. Anyway, this
friend of Alysia's is purported to be extremely wealthy, so let's call him
"Rich Guy" or RG for short.
And included in Alysia's invitation
was RG's "friend," a young lady.
I put friend in quotes because I'm not quite sure that's the right word,
but I don't know what the right word would be.
Anyway, Alysia referred to the lady that would accompany RG as
"Naked Girl." Well, that
certainly pricked our interest. Of
course Naked Girl isn't her real name (at least I assume it isn't) nor is it a
name she adapted to keep her identity a secret because she is a female
super-hero. Although I have to admit, a female super-hero that goes by the name
"Naked Girl" sounds pretty cool to me. "The adventures of Naked Girl, fighting
for truth, justice and the right to bare arms—and everything else." Naked Girl, to my knowledge, had no idea she
was referred to by the strangers she was about to meet as Naked Girl. I assume
she had no idea that we knew the reason we would be referring to her as Naked
Girl (if she ever found out that we were, that is).
You see, Alysia got a text from you RG
a few days earlier that there was a "hot-ass naked 24 year old woman"
at his place. She wondered if this was a
problem and he said it sort of was.
I could certainly sympathize. What guy would want a hot naked chick running
around his home? It's disgusting.
Well, VegasDWP showed up (he actually
may have arrived before AC, I'm not sure) and we finally got more of the story
of RG and NG. You see, RG and NG hadn't
arrived yet, and AC received a text from him that they were on their way but
running late. So we took the table and
decided to order and let the two late-comers catch up. It's a good thing we did.
Alysia explained that RG had a party
Monday night. And he listed it on his
Facebook page, so that all his FB friends were invited. Well you know how Facebook is, AC explained. Some of your FB friends are friends of
friends of friends. You end up having FB
friends you've never met in your real life.
So, on this Monday night, the night of
RG's party, a very attractive young lady showed up at RG's place and said she's
there for the party, she was invited. So
she joined the party. And met RG for the first time.
Well it turned out the girl was from
The Netherlands! Yes, that's right. She
was a Dutch girl. Now when I first heard
this story, I thought that Naked Girl had flown all the way from The
Netherlands to Vegas just for the party.
But as you'll see, that turned out not to be totally correct.
So she went to the party and guess
what? It turned out she didn't have
anywhere to stay in Vegas. So apparently Rich Guy let her stay with him for
awhile until she could figure out her next move. I guess Naked Girl is a spontaneous kind of
gal.
She's also a naked kind of gal. Because once the two of them were alone in
RG's place after the party, Naked Girl apparently got naked and had stayed that
way for pretty much the entire time she was there. Because what's a Naked Girl to do? Truth be told, I don't know that she waited
for everyone else to leave the party to get naked. I suppose it's possible she got naked while
the party was still going on. But I
didn't hear that and I assume I would have if that was the case. But I do know that later she apparently
refused to put any clothes on, preferring to walk around his house naked the
entire time.
All that was well and good, but it
wasn't like she was going to show up to dinner at Hugo's buck naked, was she? I was running well but I wasn't running that
well.
Have I mentioned yet that we were
shown a couple of pictures of Naked Girl before they arrived? Yeah, that
happened. They were pictures that RG
took of her in his place that he had sent to Alysia. One was a picture of her with some clothes
on. It was a shot from the back with her
wearing a bra and I think shorts. But
the other pic was more interesting. It
was a pic of her stark naked from behind.
When I first saw the pic, I thought she was standing at the refrigerator. But when I saw it again, I realized she was
standing in front of the washer/dryer.
And that made total sense. She
was washing all of her clothes so she didn't have any to wear, right?
And by the way, she looked really,
really good with her clothes off, at least from behind. Really good.
Especially if you like them slim.
This prompted DWP to comment,
"This will be the first time I've seen a woman naked before I meet
her. Usually it's the other way around." I said it sounded like a good trend and that
we should all hope it continues.
Of course separately and then
together, we all thought of the Seinfeld episode that discussed "good
naked" vs. "bad naked."
You remember that, right? If not,
Google "Seinfeld Good Naked Bad Naked." Jerry was dating a gal who spent all the time
in his apartment naked and it turned out that—at least for him—there was indeed
such a thing as "bad naked."
And Alysia got the sense that RG might be getting tired of Naked Girl's
nakedness.
As I said, we started ordering and
eating long before RG and NG showed up.
So at one point, during all this talk about Naked Girl's interesting
wardrobe choices, Lightning asked our waiter, "What's the dress code here? Would it be ok for someone to show up totally
naked?"
The waiter was taken aback by
this. It must have been the first time
he'd heard the question. Which is
surprising, this being Vegas and all. I
wish I had a picture of his expression when he heard the question. But he recovered and said that they don't
really have a dress code but that they would prefer their patrons wear some
clothing. Or something like that.
Of course, we were all a bit curious
as to why AC had invited these folks to the dinner. After all, this was supposed to be a gathering
of poker/twitter/blogging buddies, and three of the four of us had never met
RG—and even Alysia had never met Naked Girl.
So we kind of teased her about it.
I said, "You invited them because Lightning, DWP and I are just too
boring, that's it, isn't it?"
She insisted that was not the
reason. She said that, although she
didn't expect Naked Girl to show up naked, she was sure she would show up in
some kind of skimpy outfit....some kind of mini-dress, low-cut, revealing. You know, she was hot and she'd show up
scantily clad. She thought the guys
would really like that, she was actually doing us all a favor. I believe she
indicated that she thought I would especially enjoy that. Harumph.
I challenge anyone to find any evidence that I enjoy looking at scantily
clad women.
But I suppose she knew that one person
at the dinner would enjoy looking at Not-Quite-Naked Girl in a skimpy
outfit. Herself. After all, the very first time I met Alysia,
she made it clear that she liked to going to strip clubs (see here).
And yes I mean clubs where women take off their clothes, not a male
revue like Chippendale's (though she might enjoy that too, I dunno, it has never
come up). In fact that first night I met
her, she suggested that we all go to a strip club and offered to buy Pete Peters, Coach and myself lap dances. Honestly.
In fact, on this night, the discussion
of Naked Girl prompted AC to ask me why I don't frequent strip clubs—pointing out
that the pics I frequently post on this here blog would lead someone to believe
I might enjoy such clubs. Well, that's
pretty flimsy evidence if you ask me.
But I gave the first answer that came to mind, which is just one of
several reasons. "I don't really
like fake boobs."
To which she replied, "Not all
strippers have fake boobs."
I said something to the effect that
most do, and then I asked, "How do you know so much about
strippers?" And she reminded me
that she goes to strip clubs. And then
she said something to the effect of, "And lots of strippers have rubbed
their boobs in my face." Well that
would be a good way to tell the authenticity of the boobs, that's for sure.
That prompted a discussion on fake
boobs that we all participated in. I
believe the consensus was that we prefer original factory equipment to
after-market add-ons.
Well, the four of us were just about
done with our dinners when RG and Naked Girl finally showed up. In person, with her clothes on, Naked Girl
was a mighty fine looking woman. But she
was completely dressed. And not at all
scantily clad. She was wearing jeans and
a modest tank top. I felt somehow cheated.
But she really was good looking. So there was that. And it turned out that the reason they were
so late was—wait for it—they had gone clothes shopping for her. Yes, this is
the woman who literally had nothing to wear.
In fact, we found out that she hadn't come to Vegas from her native
Netherlands. She came to Vegas from
Australia (I think)—or some other place where it was actually winter, not
summer. And all her clothes were winter
clothes, nothing appropriate for the Vegas heat. So what's a girl to do in that
situation but go around stark naked all the time? Made sense.
Once we all started talking, I was
rather surprised by NG. I guess I was
expecting a different kind of woman, but she was very intelligent, very
classy. Didn't come off as the kind of
gal who would just fly halfway around the world to drop in on someone she'd
never met in a city that she didn't have any place to stay.
And RG turned out to be a interesting,
witty, entertaining guy himself. There was plenty of quality conversation. And of course, once they showed up, there was
no discussion of Naked Girl's nakedness. Or lack thereof.
The two of them actually showed up
about 90-minutes late. So by the time
they were finished with their meal, it had turned into a really long
evening. I decided it was too late for
me play poker after, although Lightning and DWP headed off for the Wynn. AC went somewhere with RG and Naked
Girl. I have no idea where. A strip club perhaps? I don't think so, but who knows?
I later heard that RG got tired of
Naked Girl and all of her nakidity hanging around his place. So he sent her packing (assuming by then she
had something to pack) and she left town.
I understand that she was hoping to stay longer with Rich Guy but it
just wasn't meant to be. I guess Rich
Guy found out that Seinfeld was right—there is such a thing as bad naked.
