The Blogger Who Grabbed My Ass

Continuing with my intention of spewing out tales of poker and debauchery from my current Vegas trip in drips and drabs, this post concerns the social aspect of the All Vegas Poker Meet & Greet Tournament that took place this past Saturday night.  But there will be no poker content in this post; that will have to wait for another time.  The main point of this post is that there were more than a few bloggers present, you know, the bloggers that are part of this little blogging community we seem to have going.  And one very famous blogger grabbed, fondled, rubbed and squeezed my ass. 

Which one?  Well, it sure as hell wasn’t grrouchie, despite the fact that he very recently blogged about having spent 8 to 10 years of his life wearing skirts and fishnets and claims to have gone to his senior prom in a dress.  And it wasn’t Lightning, even though one of the first stories he told me when we met a few days earlier was how when he first met Waffles in Vegas, they had sex together the very first nite.  And it wasn’t even Carmel, even though doing that would seem rather tame compared to some of the antics she’s admitted to on her blog. 

Nope….it was Josie that grabbed my ass.  Yes, sweet, innocent Josie, who always seems to have men harassing her, fondling her, giving her unwanted attention, begging for affection from her.  The very same Josie who just complained about the Sylvester Stallone look-alike who inappropriately felt her up right on Freemont Street the other day.

That Josie.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  Before the tournament started, I got to the Mirage early and ran into both Stump and grrouchie.  I almost didn’t recognize grrouchie because he wasn’t wearing his traditional Pittsburgh Steelers baseball cap and he was playing 2/5 instead of 1/2—so clearly he was in over his head.   But he was wearing a totally cool craps shirt. I decided just to chill out and relax before the tournament (and the free pizza), rather than try to get in a cash game. 

Once it got close to pizza-serving time, name tags were handed out.  Someone who noticed mine introduce himself as a fan of my blog.  We’ll call him “Kingsmen” because that’s his screen name on AVP (I was actually thinking of calling him “Queensman” here but I thought he might not be thrilled with that).  Anyway, he is much younger than I am (but then, who isn’t) and after telling me he likes the blog, he told me he was expecting me to be much younger.  I chuckled.  I said something like, “Yeah, well, I guess that’s because of my juvenile sense of humor.”  He laughed, and said, “Well, it’s a great subject.”  I believe he illustrated his point by extending his hands out in front of his chest.  I’m pretty sure that was a reference to women’s breasts although I honestly have no idea how he would associate them with my blog.

By the way, Kingsmen was one of the players the next night I had fun with in the HORSE game I described here. A good guy to be sure.

Another fan of some blogs from AVP who I met was Lindy99.  Lindy was particularly excited to say hello to grrouchie, Lightning and Josie and tell them how much he loved their blogs.  About my blog, he said nothing.  But that’s ok.  Apparently my blog is just classy for his tastes. 

Another person I met before the tournament began is Koala. Koala is the extremely nice guy from Australia who comes to Vegas every year for six weeks, and is the one who organized the TBC tournament that was taking place the next nite.

Then I noticed a tall woman talking to grrouchie.  Even from the back, I recognized Carmel.  Now earlier, I had tweeted that I was waiting at the Mirage.  Carmel tweeted to me that she would see me soon, and asked what I was wearing.  So of course I sent the following tweet back to her, “Nothing. I’m stark naked.”

Carmel responded, “Easy, Just like I like my men.”  To which I replied, “Yeah I figured.”

Anyway, I recognized her and tapped her on the shoulder.  I just said hi and waited for her to figure out who I was.  It took her awhile. Grrouchie had to tell her, in fact.  We hugged and had some time to chat before the poker started.

Let me describe Carmel just a bit.  She is tall.  I mean really, really tall.  An Amazon, really.  Pretty sure she’s at least 7 feet tall.  And there’s something else big about her that I really didn’t notice.  I mean, I never usually notice a woman’s bust, but because Carmel talks about her chest so much on her blog, I did force myself to sneak a peak.  All I will say is that she has been very generously blessed in that area by Mother Nature.

But there’s something even bigger about Carmel.  Much bigger. It is her smile.  Her smile is humongous.  It almost literally lit up the room.  She is also extremely friendly and gregarious.  We had a nice chat, and she expressed her surprise at meeting me.  She told me I wasn’t at all what she expected.  She thought I would look older than I do (Carmel, meet Kingsmen).

We had a nice chat.  Lightning showed up at some point and joined the fun.  Lightning would eventual entertain Carmel once the poker started, having decided that he had had his fill of poker tournaments.  Lightning however, was Josie-less.  Apparently, the blogger everyone wanted to meet was running late.  I suspect that she just wanted to make an “entrance.”  I briefly said hi to PokerGrump who of course was also playing, although as with the next nite at Tony’s tournament, he was one of the first to bust out.  I assume he just wasn’t dealt the mighty deuce-four enough times in either event.

During the first break (and the only break for me, sadly), I noticed Josie had finally shown up.  She actually left her table early, before the break started, because she had so many chips she didn’t need to try to win any more. Or something like that.  She gave me a warm greeting, and then all the bloggers congregated in the middle of the poker room during the break.  Josie met grrouchie for the first time, but they didn’t really have much time to chat.  Cameras were taken out and pictures were taken.  One from this event is already posted on Josie’ blog (linked above).  After some photos of the bigger group, Josie insisted that a picture be taken of her with me, just the two of us.

So we got close to each other for the photo.  We of course put our hands around each other’s shoulders. Of course, I was a perfect gentleman the entire time.

Josie?  Not so much.  Soon, as we were waiting for the pictures to be snapped, she started giving me a shoulders and upper back rub.  Then her hand went lower, rubbing the middle of my back.  Then even lower, rubbing my lower back.

Then….her hand was all over my ass.

Yeah, my ass. 

She rubbed it, she patted it. She squeezed it.  Before I knew it, she had given me a more thorough ass examination than I got the last time I visited a proctologist.  And it goes without saying, if I had done that to her, I could have easily gotten arrested.  Talk about your double-standards!

Anyway, in addition to fondling my butt, Josie felt the need to adjust her top for the picture.  She felt that she just wasn’t exposing enough cleavage initially, so she pulled down her top a bit. As the first picture was being taken, someone (I think it was Lightning but am not sure) yelled out that I should be looking down Josie’s top.  Of course, I would never have done that, being such a gentleman.  Besides, as I stated previously, I’m not really much of an aficionado of the bosom.

But Josie liked that idea, so again, being a gentleman, I complied.  Before the next picture was taken, she practically lowered her top all the way.  To go all along with the request, I had no choice but to look down at what she was now revealing. It would have been rude—and insulting—to have done anything else.  So a picture was taken with me looking down her top in a very exaggerated way.  She pretended to be surprised that I had taken advantage of the opportunity. “You looked!”  Well duh.  Again, I couldn’t insult Josie by not looking.  Besides, it was very impressive, what she was showing. Even a guy like me, with no particular interest in that part of the female anatomy, could appreciate it.  I can’t wait to see the picture on her blog.  I asked her to send it to me, but she hasn’t yet.  But I guess it will be on her blog soon. ((Edited to add: Josie has now posted the picture I'm referring to in her latest post, which you can find here.))

One thing I missed, because Josie showed up so late, was the titanic meeting of Carmel and Josie.  They are such a mismatch height-wise that their hug must have been quite a scene.  They had already joked about it on their blogs—Josie would essentially be “motorboating” Carmel.  And unfortunately, I didn’t get to see that.

The break was soon over and unfortunately, I didn’t last in the tournament very long after it resumed.  I ended up in a cash game.  Meanwhile, I had sent a text to Prudence updating my tournament status.  I had told her about the tournament and the fact that all the bloggers were gonna be there—she knows all of them and frequently reads their blogs—and asked her to join us.  Unfortunately she had something job-related to do.  But it turned out that by now her responsibilities were over and she found herself playing poker at the BSC. In the text I mentioned that Josie had been literally all over my ass. She responded, “Whoa!!! Getting action huh?”

When I noticed that Josie had also busted out, I suggested that we go to BSC she could meet Prudence.  The entire time she was here, Josie kept questioning whether there really was a “Prudence”, or if she was in fact just a figment of my imagination.  This was her chance to meet her face to face.  But she declined.  Poker Grump had already agreed to take her downtown so she could meet Tony, who would just be arriving back in town right about then.  Grump was willing to join Prudence and I at BSC, but was fine with going downtown too. Josie made the call.  Tony over Prudence.  Hope you appreciate that, Tony!  BTW, Grump tried to convince Josie that Prudence existed, having played poker with her before (see here), but Josie remained skeptical.

So they went downtown and I headed to BSC (grrouchie and Lightning were long gone).  It took awhile but I managed to get into the same game as Prudence.  Prudence was indeed on her game, even though she was not drinking this night.  We were initially sitting a few seats away from each other, so we couldn’t converse privately.  That only bothered me, not her.

“So I want to hear all about tonite!  You got your ass grabbed, huh?”  This was said loudly enough for everyone at the table (and probably a few neighboring ones) to hear.  It got everyone’s attention.

“Not that it hasn’t happened many times before.  I’m just saying that it happened tonite.  He got his ass grabbed by a girl with big juggs.”  At least two of the guys at the table (and it was all guys, save Prudence) said, almost in unison, “Yeah, that’s a good thing.”  Someone added, “A very good thing.”

There was a bit more fun from that night at BSC, but I can save it for another time.  I’ve already gotten ass and tits in this post, I’ll save the vagina for another time.

Right now the poker room is calling me.  See ya later.