Since When is Poker a Contact Sport?

Of course, it’s not any kind of a sport, but that’s not the subject of this post.

My last night in town last month, I saw something I’d never seen before in a poker room.  And I’ve seen and heard a lot of strange things in poker rooms.  I’ve seen a girl burying her face in the extremely ample bosom of her friend (at least I assume it was her friend—if not, it was sexual assult) (here).  I’ve had girls point to their crotches in response to an innocent comment of mine (here).  I’ve seen a woman take a picture of another woman’s breasts (here).  I’ve had that same woman ask me—no, beg me—to take a picture of her and her friends’ breasts (here).  I’ve seen a girl-on-girl make out session right at tournament table in the midst of play (here).  I’ve heard a woman discuss her vagina at the poker table (here).  I’ve heard the same woman accuse me of “being obsessed with bosoms” very loudly from across several poker tables with dozens of people within earshot (here).  I’ve heard a woman with extremely large breasts tell another woman, similarly endowed, say that she wished her breasts were bigger (here).  I’ve had a blind woman almost grab my crotch, thinking I was her husband (here). 

Come to think of it, I started this blog largely to document all the bizarre things I’ve seen and heard in poker rooms.

But I never saw anything like this.  I’ve never seen or heard an actual physical fight between two people in a poker room. Now, I’ve seen guys threaten to get physical with each other.  I’ve seen one guy say to another guy, “Let’s take it outside.”  I’ve seen security and/or management step between two players when it appeared that things might get physical.  But I never saw it get really physical until this incident.

And oddly enough, just as all the incidents I referenced in the second paragraph involved women, the two participants in the fisticuffs in this incident were ladies.  Although not by at least one definition of the word “lady.”   Yeah, the first time I’ve seen a true physical confrontation between two people in a poker room, it was between two chicks.  

I was playing at BSC and it was very late, technically early in the next morning.  Suddenly I heard a commotion behind me, you could “sense” that something physical was going on.  I was in the middle of a hand, but turned around anyway and heard one of the woman call the other one “Whore!” loud enough to be heard even outside the poker room.  Despite this, I can assure you, Josie was not one of the participants (which reminds me that when I was listing some of the odd things I’ve seen in a poker room, I left out the night she practically gave me a proctology exam in a poker room--here.) 

The first thing I saw was Jane, the floor supervisor I’ve mentioned a few times before (see here, for example), basically throwing herself between the two women.  I heard shouts of “call security” and “call the police.”  And then I saw the taller of the two combatants make a very hasty retreat out of the poker room.

It seemed as if things had calmed down and I had to pay attention to the hand I was in.  But the female dealer we had at the table recognized one of two girls who was in the fight.  She said that the one who was still there, the smaller one, was playing at a table she had been dealing at  earlier and was a very nice person.  She claims to have seen the bigger one punch the smaller one right in the face, right before Jane threw herself between them. 

By the time the hand was over, things had settled down, and almost an instant later, I saw both BSC security and Las Vegas police there taking statements from the smaller girl, Jane, and the Shift Supervisor.  I had no idea what happened to the taller girl, the one who apparently threw the punch.

Of course, purely for journalistic purposes, I sought to get more info.  Since Jane is my buddy, I knew I could get some details from her, so I waited for the appropriate time, and asked if she was ok.  She was surprised by the question and I referenced the earlier incident.

She laughed and said she was fine, she had come between the two girls and had not been touched.  Jane is a fairly large woman and was protecting the smaller girl.  But she did have an answer to the question of what they were fighting over.  Was it a poker hand?  Was it a guy?

Nope.  One of the girls had accused the other of cutting in front of her in the woman’s room.

Seriously.

Apparently the instigator, the taller one, had been drinking (shocking, isn’t it?) and accused the other girl of cutting in front of her in the long line to use the restroom.  The shorter girl let her go in front of her (or so the story goes) but the bigger girl wouldn’t let it go.  When she saw the other girl retuning to take her seat in the poker room, she picked it up and it got physical.

Apparently the instigator was not arrested, but was escorted off the property, told never to return.  The smaller girl was allowed to get back to her game, since she was deemed to be totally innocent. 

I actually had one other source for info on the fight.  That would be Todd, and I hope he doesn’t mind that I’m using his real name.  Todd is a blog follower of mine who lives in Australia.  He was visiting from down under for the holidays.  He thought he recognized me playing in a poker room a few days before (apparently, my picture is all over the internet—I’m “internet famous”) and tweeted to ask if it was me.  He was still there so I went over towards his table and he jumped up to say hello, Nice to know I have a reader on the other side of the world.  I have to admit that it is always kind of neat to run into someone who reads the blog that I didn’t even know existed.  I just have to remember never to play poker with them (here). 

Anyway, I have nothing embarrassing to report about Todd (other than the fact that he reads my blog, which I admit, could probably prevent him from ever entering politics) so I’ll use his real name.  It turns out that based on where he was staying, I kept running into him a lot for a few days.  In fact, earlier that evening, he was playing at Planet Hollywood when I was there with Prudence and Grump.  I introduced him to Grump in fact (I think Prudence had checked out by that point).  I had seen him back at BSC and from the seat he was at, he would have had a birdseye view of the ruckus. 

So as I said goodbye to him, I asked him about it.  He didn’t see much, and by the time he focused on it, all he saw was some slapping or shoving.  But the dealer I had at the time of it, and Jane, did confirm there was at least one punch thrown, so presumably Todd missed that.  It could just be one of those stories that will have a different version for everyone you ask about it.

But for sure the cops were there.  So this counts as my first poker room brawl, and typical of the kinds of things I encounter in Vegas and in poker, it involved two women.

And they call women the “fairer sex”!