"You Did That to Me?.....But I Bought You Dinner!"

This is part 2 of my recent session with Prudence.  if you missed part 1, it is here.

Later in the evening—we were joined by two more folks who were familiar with my blog—well one for sure.  I think this was after Warren left.  You see, visiting from England this weekend were Paul and Dom.  Paul has posted numerous comments on my blog and many others you probably read under the name “Arniejokin” and you can follow him on Twitter here.  Dom is Paul’s buddy—not really sure if he reads my blog but since I had met the two of them the night before I’m sure Paul filled Dom in on it if that was necessary.  The previous night I had hoped to play with them at The Linq, but when I get a chance to write the post about that evening’s antics, you will learn why that never happened and instead we were at separate tables that night. 

Before I had arrived at the MGM, I had seen a tweet from Paul that the two of them were playing at my “home base” that afternoon.  In fact, when I got to MGM and was waiting for Prudence and Aaron to arrive, I found them at a table.  They were nearly done with their session and weren’t sure what they were going to do after their dinner break.  I suggested they return to MGM because not only was a Slut Parade night, but there was UFC fight there and that always makes for wild, juicy poker games after the fight.  I apparently convinced them, because hours later, I got a tweet from Paul asking if I could put them on the list as call-ins.  I did, and not long after that they showed up and got into a game at a different table.

When I saw Paul earlier, I told him that I was waiting for some friends to have dinner with before playing poker.  But I never identified my friends in any way.

But by the time they were sitting in a different game, clear on the other side of the room, Prudence had had quite a few drinks.  And she was not only inappropriate, as I’ve indicated, she was also quite loud.  So loud that her buddy Stan, at the podium, actually texted her to tone it down a little (or maybe a lot, actually). In addition to what I’ve described, she also managed to utter the f-bomb numerous times.  And she made a reference to “swallowing” which I’m pretty sure wasn’t about the alcohol in front of her (but I am unclear on the context).   Apparently she could sometimes be heard on the other side of the room, where Paul and Dom were playing.  And soon after they arrived, I received a tweet from Paul that said, “is that someone from an earlier blog at your table?  Prudence?”

Ha ha.  He “recognized” Prudence from across the room! So even tho they were at another table where they said they had perfect seats for the Slut Parade, they asked to be moved to our table for the jocularity.

When Paul first got to the table, the very first hand he played (and thus the very first hand I’d ever played with him), he raised.  I think it was $8.  I think I might have been the big blind.  So when it came to me, I said, “Oh, typical aggro Euro, I see.”  I don’t think he realized I was kidding.  He said, “What?  Well, it was a friendly raise.”  I just laughed.

At one point, Aaron got a phone call.  He stepped away to take it, but returned to play his next hand, still on the phone.  And it turned out he wanted to play that next hand, so he said something like, “hang on, I’m in a hand.”  At which point, Prudence, who had folded, grabbed the phone out of his hand and started talking to the person on the other end.  Prudence had absolutely no idea who she was talking to, but that didn’t stop her from carrying on a conversation with him or her.

I either couldn’t hear or can’t remember most of what I overheard her telling this person on the phone—except for one thing.  We all did hear her say, “Yes, his cock is adequate.”  She said this at least three or four times, while Aaron was playing the hand.  Now by this time, the dealer was a woman I had never seen before—but actually, you’ve already met her—she was the dealer I called “Janet” in the post here.  She was brand new to Prudence and had no idea what to make of her, but she was rather nonchalant in reacting to her antics—with an occasional smile or giggle. 

When Aaron was through with the hand, Prudence returned the phone to him and announced to the entire table, “I have no idea who that was.  It might have been his mother.”

That got everyone laughing and Janet said, “Oh….that would be awkward.”  Later, Prudence added, “If it was his mother, I should have thanked her for squeezing him out her vagina.”

Later she put her index and middle fingers up to her lips, spread them to form a “V” and asked the British boys if they knew what that was.  They claimed ignorance.  “Wow, I guess you guys never get laid.”  She explained that it was the symbol for “vagina.”

There was another woman at the table, who didn’t really react one way or the other to Prudence’s antics.  But this gal did figure into a couple of hands that cost me chips.  Yes, yes, there was actually some poker played this night.

Early on I called $6 from the button with Ace-9 off.  Six of us saw a flop of Ace-Queen-x. I called $15 and it was three-way. There was no betting on a blank turn.  I called $40 on a Queen river.  The guy had absolutely nothing and was up nearly $100.  Sadly, he lost the rest of his chips soon after and then left.

From the cutoff, I called $11 with Jack-8 of diamonds, it was 5-way.  The flop was Jack-10-x and no one bet.  With a 9 on the turn, the aforementioned lady went all in for $46.  It folded to me and I thought it was worth calling, since that would close the action, the pot was pretty big and I now had an open-ender.  But I bricked and it didn’t matter, she had King-Queen and had a bigger straight than I was drawing to on the turn. 

A bit later I had pocket Aces, both were black.  I raised to $10 and it was 5-way.  There was a King and two mediumish cards on the flop, also two spades.  I bet $40 and the lady called.  The turn was a red 5 and we both checked.  We checked a red 4 on the river.  I showed my Aces and she showed….5-4 of spades for runner-runner two pair!  WTF?  She called my preflop raise with 5-4 (but it was sooooooted) and then my big flop bet with a baby flush draw.  And then went runner-runner on the two pair.  I guess I should have bet the turn but I doubt that she would have folded, based on how she played that.  Ugh.

I called a $10 raise from Prudence with Ace-4 of diamonds.  Three or four of us saw the flop, which had a 4 on it and one diamond.  She bet $30 and I made a loose call, thinking she might be c-betting and I did actually have a pair, plus the back door flush draw.  The turn was another diamond and there was no betting.  She checked the river, which completed my nut flush.  I bet something, she folded and I showed my hand to get a drawing ticket. 

A few hands later I had Ace-4 offsuit in the small blind and I called.  But I hadn’t noticed that it was a straddle, which at MGM is $5.  Rather than make an issue of it, I just took back my two bucks and put out a red chip.  Good decision.  The flop had both an Ace and a 4 on it. I checked, going for the check-raise, but it checked behind me.  I turned a boat with another 4, and bet 15.  There was one call but no call on my river bet.

With pocket Jacks, I raised to $8.  It was three of us seeing the flop, including Aaron.  Terrible flop, Queen-Queen-X.  I c-bet $15 and Aaron called.  The board got even worse—an Ace on the turn.  I checked and Aaron bet $40.  I tanked and then folded.  So as the dealer pushed him the pot, Aaron showed his hand.  A Queen?  Nope.  An Ace?  No. He showed King-10 offsuit.  Seriously?  A total bluff?  OK, he had a gutshot, so not a total bluff (but what he didn’t know is, if he had hit his gutshot with a Jack, I would have had a boat).  Ugh.

I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances.  Remind him that I had paid for his meal.  “What?  You did that to me…..and I bought you dinner!”

But actually, it was Prudence who was more upset than I was.  “How could you do that to Rob?  You’re gonna pay for that!  He can’t give you a worse name than Jace got (see here)—nobody will ever be named that again.  But watch out!”

Heh heh…until they left, I kept teasing him about the terrible name I would come up with for him.  Actually, “Osama” was going through my mind.  In fact, when they left, he said something to me about, “Please don’t give me an awful name.”  Well ok, I did take pity on him, because he seems like a really nice guy (except as a poker player) and well…..I did get back at him a bit, as you’ll see.

Now long time readers might notice a pattern….my friends can always bluff me off hands.  I mean, before Aaron it happened here and here.  Well, more proof that I should never play poker with people who read my blog.  But I’m sure that the only times I’ve ever been bluffed successfully, it’s been by friends of mine.  I’m sure no one I don’t know well has ever been able to bluff me.  Yeah, I’m sure of that.

A bit after this hand, I was finally able to move my seat, from the middle of the table to immediately on Aaron’s left.  “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Prudence raised to $6, Aaron called and I called with King-10 of hearts.  It was four-way.  The flop had two hearts on it, but also two 4’s.  I called $30 from Prudence, as did Aaron. There was no betting on a blank turn. The river was the 3 of hearts.  Prudence checked, as did Aaron, and I bet the rest of my chips….but I was down below $100 by the start of this hand and had only like $30 or so left on the river.  Prudence called and Aaron folded.  Prudence had 6-9 of hearts (affectionately known as “Big Lick”).  No surprise she plays that.  Aaron said he threw away Ace-4 offsuit, and was really pissed to lose to two flushes. He said he was hoping for the Ace of hearts so he could all our money!  Sweet.  I thought I wanted the Ace of hearts to give me the nut flush, but now I knew better.  That gave me enough chips to play with without re-buying.

It turns out Aaron has a real job and had to get up early, so they had to call it a night before I did.

A rather odd woman took over one of their seats.  I moved over to seat 1 and this lady originally sat on my immediate left.  There was a guy sitting between Paul and Dom on the other side that had a short stack and kept raising fairly large in an apparent attempt to give away the rest of his stack as soon as possible.  When he wasn’t raising someone else was, I think either Paul or Dom.  I heard the lady on my left muttering to herself about the frequency and the size of the raises.  She mostly folded to the raises, so I kind of assumed she was a nit.

When the guy between Paul and Dom finally busted, she moved to that seat, between Paul and Dom.  She was one of the blinds when I had Ace-Queen off and raised to $8. There was a call and then the action was on this woman.  First she asked, “Who raised?”  The dealer pointed to me.  And then, knowing it was my raise, she suddenly decided there was one bit of information she desperately needed before deciding what to do.  “What’s his name?” she shouted from across the table.  Well, that was a new one on me!  What the hell difference does my name make?  How is that relevant to her decision? Now…..it might just be that she asked that because the dealer, who knows me of course, might have said, “Rob raised” in addition to pointing to me when she asked who raised.  And she apparently didn’t understand “Rob.”  But how that would affect her decision is beyond me.  Of course, if she was really that interested in my name, she could have asked me while she was sitting next to me.

Anyway, the dealer said my name a few times and she kept mishearing it, “Ralph? Your name is Ralph? What’s your name?”  I was laughing at this. “No, Rob….my name is Rob.”  And so finally she called.  I wonder if she would have folded if my name was Jack?

The flop was very low, and I put out a $15 c-bet.  The other player folded but the lady called.  The turn was an Ace, she checked, I bet $30 and she called again. The river paired the board, a second deuce.  This time, she led out for $30.  Damn.  Had she gotten lucky with the deuce? Trips?  A boat?  I tanked for a bit.  Then I realized that there was no way I could fold top pair there for so little.  Did I want to raise?  I kind of assumed that she would only call if she could beat top pair, so I figured I would play it safe and just call.  As I reached for chips, she said, “Don’t do it….don’t do it.”  Hmm…I try not to be distracted by talk like that.  Are they telling me what they want me to do or what they don’t want me to do?  Undeterred, I called.

She said, “I have nothing and flipped over two low cards, I think a 5 and a 3 (suited, I guess).  So I suppose on the turn she picked up a gutshot, otherwise, she didn’t really have anything. She bet way too little for her bluff to work…besides, I only get bluffed by my friends and I didn’t know this lady from Eve. Her play was beyond strange but I was happy to take her chips.

It was getting close to midnight, I had a few drawing tickets.  But I was not called.  I picked up soon after, booking a very small profit (slightly under $100).  But I had a shitload of entertainment for the evening.  I said goodbye to the boys from the U.K. and only wished I’d been sitting closer to them so we could have chatted.  Seemed like really good guys, despite the language barrier. 

I have reason to believe that I will be playing more live poker with Prudence and Aaron on future trips.